Pastoring

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Community
Pastoring
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Pastoring
Pastoring

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What Are the Qualities of a GoodPastor
Facilitator

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What Are the Qualities of a GoodPastor
Facilitator

• Pastor
• Ability to make people feel comfortable and at
  ease
• A personal sense of God
• A good listener
• Ability to affirm others
• Freedom from parish controversies not hooked on
  particular issues
• Responsibility and follow-through
• Openness to change
• Good self-esteem (Not the person who needs to be
  noticed, who grabs for attention, who appears
  unproductive in other areas of life and unhappy
  at home.)
• Ability to work with the Pastor and staff
• Love and concern for the church at all levels

• Facilitator
• Knowledge of group dynamics
• Skills for dealing with difficult people
• Ability to move meeting along
• Organizational skills
• People skills
• Listening Skills
• Skill at Setting a tone comfortable, safe
  attitude
• Encourages people to share their lived experience
  
• Awareness of individual needs
• Understanding the stages of group development

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A Good PastorModels the Good Shepherd

• Being a pastor is the most awesome of ministries.
  
• You have the gift of modeling the Good Shepherd
  for your small church.
• You are to hold up a mirror to the people in your
  small church and help them see the God in them.
• Help them to see their gifts as gifts to the
  community for the use of God and Gods people.
• A pouring out of yourself into the other---It is
  most definitely not about you.

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A Good PastorFeeds You

• A good shepherd will keep you from spiritually
  starving.
• Will not allow you to "fall through the cracks"
  unnoticed, neglected, or empty.
• Every child of God can be fruitful and useful
  when being led by a good shepherd.

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A Good Pastor Leads You To God

• A good shepherd feeds the flock
• "I will feed them in good pasture..."(Eze.3414).
• A good shepherd will not leave you spiritually
  hungry. Her pastures are always green. By the
  power of the Spirit, you are given what you need.
• "...he calls his own sheep by name, and leads
  them OUT" (Joh.103).
• A good shepherd will always
• "lead you OUT".
• The call is to God.

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A Good Pastor Seeks to Know to be Known

• A good shepherd knows his sheep "I am the good
  shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of
  mine" (Joh.1014). Seek to know the people in
  your SCC.
• A good shepherd is knowing and letting himself be
  known by the sheep. You have made a commitment
  to those God has given you. Open yourself up to
  your people.

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A Good Pastor is a Passionate Believer

• A good pastor needs to be a passionate believer.
  
• No matter how articulate and charming the PF may
  be, there needs to be an inner enthusiasm for the
  faith conveyed with emotional intelligence
  commitment
• . Someone who is passionate, thoughtful and in
  touch with God.

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A Good PastorSearches for God

• A PF needs to have a student's outlook on life.
• An inquiring mind
• Open to taking risks when necessary
• Not satisfied with glib answers.
• Always willing to listen and to learn.

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A Good Pastor

• A good pastor needs to be credible and with
  genuine humility.
• The resourceful and creative pastor offers
  realistic hope in difficult situations. In
  whatever circumstance, the good pastor makes
  every attempt to be there for those in need.
• Being there and keeping confidences are important
  attributes in building trust within your small
  church.

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The Cost of Pastoring

• An invitation by the Lord to a shepherding and
  pastoring ministry is an invitation to die, to
  enter fully into the paschal mystery Death is the
  price that Jesus paid, and it is the cost that
  faces us as well if we are to become more and
  more identified with the ultimate Pastor, the
  Lord who leads all men and women to the Father
• Those of us who have received such an invitation
  should be soothed, but not overly so, by the
  words of Isaiah Oh, come to the waters, all you
  who are thirsty, though you have no money, come
  Buy corn without money, and eat, and at no cost,
  drink wine and milk (Is 55 1)
• The prophet says there is no cost because ones
  soul will live The call is to life, he says, to
  embrace birth and growth, conversion, abundance
  and fruitfulness But the path to that embrace is
  one of death It is paved in pain, sorrow,
  darkness, uncertainty and purification
• The death to self is a call that every Christian
  hears to some degree, and through it comes a new
  wholeness But for the shepherding person, the
  call is central. Those who resist or deny this
  movement toward nakedness will surely find their
  ministries gone stale For those who heed the call
  in faith, those who choose to die and rise in
  Christ, there is a new strength, a new integrity.
• As pastors we first are called to be honest about
  ourselves, our weaknesses, our human limitations
  And that can be death in itselfdeath to our
  idealized selves, to the notion that, as pastors,
  we should be unfaltering and pure and ever
  certain of the word of the Lord
• It is humbling to have to love and encourage
  another while still painfully aware of ones own
  sin In the beginning of ones pastoral ministry,
  ones vision is nearly always limited by a
  preoccupation with unworthiness. But the pastor
  who listens to the Lord will be asked to step
  beyond those limitations and into a closer
  relationship with him That relationship is one of
  trust. We are not delivered at once from our
  unworthiness. We are not suddenly blessed with
  certainty in the face of doubt We are not
  transformed into sinless beings or made over into
  the ideal pastors we think we should be
• Rather, we are freed to be what we are. We are
  freed to be persons in Christreal (not ideal)
  persons We are freed to be human beings, weak and
  sinful, but loved in our weakness and sinfulness
  Our emptiness and powerlessness acknowledged, he
  can be power in us
• Mike, a young man in my household, recently has
  been called to share in the pastoring of New
  Jerusalem He is 24 years old and is painfully
  aware of his inexperience. His obvious gifts and
  his ability to listen and understand what is
  shared with him do not blind him to the truth of
  his youth. Mike says that he often is tempted to
  pretend he is something he isnt, that a
  lingering macho image still taps him on the
  shoulder occasionally asking permission to cloak
  his uncertainty and fear with a slick veneer of
  certitude It is in opting instead simply to be
  his weak but real self that Mike chooses to
  remain in the light
• No one ever is called to build community or to
  pastor another until he or she has experienced
  the Lord so intimately that he or she dares to
  stand in who he or she is, and knows he or she is
  loved right there The first step into Christian
  adulthood is behind us when we have received this
  gift, which only the Father can give In praising
  and acknowledging God, we cry out for the good
  news to be written on our flesh and we respond to
  the gifts that surround us
• This openness to the Lord frees himand usso
  that he can reveal our selves to us. The
  revelation shatters our defenses and masks No
  longer do we need an ideal image of the mythical
  person we ought to be Mike can discard his
  macho veneer. No longer can he be destroyed by
  the negative self-image that the ideal was
  designed to cover Mike knows that neither his
  fear nor his need to control his life can destroy
  him because the Lord loves him as he is And the
  Lord continually frees and redeems him.
• Mike and all of us, pastors and pastored alike,
  are chosen. We are loved. When we are known,
  the contrived costumes can be shed to reveal our
  true selves. My own experience has been that when
  I pull off my gloves I can get a better grip.
• This realization of the real both releases and
  exposes ones self in Jesus, and it expands ones
  vision and ones capacity for ministering. Having
  acknowledged ones identity as weak and
  dependent, Jesus begins to strengthen and bless
  that identity through a closer walk with him And
  there is more pain and more death involved I
  begin to be aware of a new cost to be paid for
  the privilege of serving his people He asks me to
  walk beside him no longer as servant but as
  friend
• My pain before was in my darkness Now the pain,
  mixed with joy, is that he wants me, although I
  am unable and not ready, because he needs me. He
  needs me The self he gave me as freedom and gift,
  he now asks me to return freely, just as he
  returned himself freely to the Father. He asks me
  to let go of ego in order to be with him in dying
  for his people What the Father asked of the Son
  for the sake of the people, what Jesus asked of
  the church throughout history, he eventually asks
  of his pastoring people He asks us to die once
  again.

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The Cost of Pastoring(cont)

• That can happen in many different ways He may ask
  us to die to our cherished points of view, to our
  own personal visions, to our need to be right
• As a pastor, I often have found myself frustrated
  and angry that others did not meet the
  expectations I had for their spiritual growth.
  With some I felt they were choosing their own
  riches over the treasures laid before them by the
  Father Then the Lord blessed me with a very
  humbling and enlightening experience.
• One young woman in our community was filled with
  such darkness from her past lifea darkness that
  deeply colored her behavior and mannerismsthat
  it was extremely difficult to trust what she did
  and said None of the other pastors in the
  community felt that they had a sense of the
  Lords action in her I myself was ready to
  express my despair with her through a
  confrontation that surely would have been taken
  as a rejection But in a moment of conversion, the
  Lord suddenly gave me his love for her and his
  understanding. He told me that she was his
  responsibility and that I could stand beside him
  as he loved and believed in her. It was a sudden
  revelation, but from that moment I never again
  failed to recognize the purity of her heart and
  her desire to grow And I was able to share my
  conviction with the other pastors. Today, the
  young woman is a happy, vibrant servant of Gods
  people
• Jesus had taught me that through him I could be
  pulled out of my self-centeredness and
  self-certainty to receive the confusion and
  darkness of another. He gave me his heart and
  called me to love his brokenness in my sister. I
  could listen with his ears, perceive with his
  eyes. I could name my sister by the name he would
  call her. But I had to let go of my own ideas
  first I had to die
• As a woman religious, I have often seen this
  death to self exemplified in religious superiors
  who have worked for years to build the kingdom,
  only to see their visions swept away by a new
  conversion or a deeper call In our times we have
  seen whole communities changed seemingly
  overnight by tides that wash away the old ways,
  leaving the ground fertile and ready for new life
• The challenge, the call, is to let go of the old,
  even though ones very person is deeply entwined
  in it, and to remain open for the Lord to speak
  his new word to a receptive heart. That, brothers
  and sisters, is death
• I am reminded of an elderly cousin, who had been
  a pastor for many years With Vatican II, nearly
  everything in his priestly world changed But he
  responded He didnt close himself He retired as
  pastor, but remained as pastor emeritus Now, at
  86, he lives and models the resurrected Christ in
  the midst of his people His own way of doing
  things has largely disappeared, but he remains
  undismayed. Nothing matters because everything
  matters Crucified and risen, this man now can
  walk peacefully in
• any situation. He cannot be scandalized by evil,
  because he sees the Father in and beyond
  everything. His life now reveals more directly
  than ever to his parishioners the prayer of
  Christ and Christs union with his Father
• There is a peace in such a death As pastors we
  have gone beyond the point of needing success or
  certainty as a sign of the Lords action in our
  work If we are in darkness it is because we
  resist the loneliness of death and continue to
  cry out to the Father for deliverance
• Caryll Houselander, the British spiritual writer
  of the 1940s and 1950s, is an example of a
  pastor who dies peacefully to self She knew in
  her own life the passion of Jesus and so was able
  to recognize it in others She was able to bring
  peace and comfort, especially to the mentally and
  emotionally ill It was Jesus heart she brought,
  and her own sickly body was able to sustain the
  grief of the broken and to be a channel of love
  and freedom to them.
• In our own community we suffer the daily pain of
  choosing to listen to one another in a real way.
  Those with the role of pastor and any others
  with pastoring hearts continually die to
  themselves in order to receive and understand
  what is spoken by another.
• In one sense, Jesus never placed conditions or
  exacted a cost But by placing fire in a pastors
  heart, there remains only one way to go, one path
  to walk, one life to give It is impossible to do
  anything but choose to let Christ die and live in
  him We who have dared to let this process begin
  in us can look to the Mother Teresa, the Jean
  Vaniers, the Dorothy Days of our time. Each has a
  unique personality But each has walked into the
  face of darkness, loved it, and come out on the
  side of life
• The vocation to be a person at the service of the
  Spirit in others means the ability to read the
  signs of the times For the spontaneous and
  liberal Charismatic, structure and even a bit of
  institutionalization may be a sign of the lord
  For those still clinging to empty rituals, the
  Lord will beckon toward risk and surprising
  places The quiet of contemplation, the calming of
  our busy-ness, and the silent waiting will be
  signs along the way For some the signs will
  trigger that first revelation of self, for some
  they will be the call to align oneself with
  Jesus mind, for some they will be the call to
  die to self and rise in him.
• Expect to be trusted by the Lord if he places you
  in a pastoring role The trust will be in your
  gifts and in your life He will trust your
  energies, your ideas, your fruitfulness And he
  will trust that even in dying with him, the
  fountains of life will spring up, pulsing forth
  from the depths he himself has carved in you.
• Pat Brockman, OS U, author of this article, is a
  member of New Jerusalem Catholic Community,
  directs retreats and gives spiritual direction
  Her other ministries include facilitating groups
  of varied denominations

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The Cost Of Pastoring by Pat Brockman KEY POINTS

• The need to be honest about ourselvesour
  weaknesses, our limitations
• Its essential for us to knowand for our SCC to
  know that we are not perfect
• The challenge to look beyond limitations and to
  trust in the Lord.
• The need to die to ourselves.
• Dying to selfto our cherished points of view, to
  our personal vision, to our need to be rightis
  central to pastoring
• The call to really listen to others

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The Gist

• Empower people
• To deepen the prayer experience in small church,
  pull others alongside you to help.
• Invite others to opportunities you find that you
  think uses their gifts
• Prepare you meeting with resources to challenge
  their spirituality, ideas of justice, call to
  ministry
• Practice a healthy personal prayer life that
  connects into every corner of your life.
• Use your leadership gifts. Being a PF will
  require a bit of organization and encouraging
  people to follow. Much wisdom and people skills
  are needed.
• Develop a servant's heart and teachable spirit.
• A PF must have true spiritual humility, and a
  deep respect for our parish and our Pastor,
  Father Tom
• Promote and be present at the PF Meetings, PF
  Retreat and SCC events. This helps you and the
  other Pastoral Facilitators feel connected and
  supported.

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Becoming A Pastoral Facilitator

• What most appeals to you about becoming a
  pastoral facilitator?
• What is your biggest reservation about becoming a
  pastoral facilitator?

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Building Community
Building Community
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Never doubt that a small groupof thoughtful,
concerned citizenscan change the world.
Indeed, it's the only thing
that ever does.
Margaret Mead
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Community provides a safe, comfortable place
for people to pray, leading to deeper
personal interaction richer prayer experiences
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When a person is added to or subtracted from a
group, it becomes a new group.

• Members must shift their roles to adjust to the
  change
• Community cant develop while these adjustments
  are being made. A group needs to be stable to
  grow into community.
• This is the reason why the model of small church
  communities that we follow ask SCCs to go through
  a process when adding people.

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Ideas for Building Community

• Provide opportunities for people to interact in
  different ways by going to events as a group
• Go to Mass together
• Share a meal together
• Perform community service together
• Know and ask about the ministries that each is
  serving. Their success is the communitys
  success. Make mention of the service in the
  group.

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Things You Can Do to Strengthen Community

• Distribute a list of birthdays and email
  addresses
• Call members and inform themof another members
  illness orfamily problem if this would not
  break a confidence.
• Ask the members to call each other during the
  week.
• Foster a feeling of value to the group in each
  person by asking others to take leadership in
  creating or facilitating a meeting, hosting a
  meeting, sending out reminders, calling absent
  members, bringing refreshments.

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Deepening the Bond in Your Small Church

• Use the parts of the SCC meeting to help create
  community
• Keep the same Review of Life partners for a few
  months at a time. This gives pairs of members an
  opportunity to get to know each other on a more
  personal level. Their closer bond creates a
  closer bond in the small church.
• Be creative when dividing into small groups.
  Since people tend to sit in the same seats, if
  you count off to divide groups, the groups will
  not vary much. Write names on slips of paper and
  ask one member to choose three papers. This
  becomes her group.
• Use the Basic Agreement Among Members
  Evaluation to help keep your church on track.

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Basic Agreement Between Members

• 1. Don't miss, except for emergencies. A group
  works because members make the group a priority.
  Each member must make a commitment to each other.
  
• 2. Share yourself. Let people know you to the
  extent you are willing. How you feel and how you
  look at life matters.
• 3. Listen closely to others. Don't give advice,
  counsel or therapy or comment on what others say,
  but let people know you understand and are trying
  to appreciate the feeling they are expressing.
• 4. Never argue your point or badger another . Be
  yourself, be firm, but don't try to win others
  over to your viewpoint. People can be different.
  In fact, differences enhance a group.
• 5. Try to show support to each person in the
  group. Help people see their strengths and
  confront them when they are not using their
  strengths.
• 6. Expressing negative feelings can be helpful.
  Bottled-up feelings can set up unspoken barriers.
  Avoid ridicule or attack. Focus on how someone's
  behavior in the group affects you and how the
  situation can be improved. A one-to-one talk can
  help sometimes.
• 7. Don't talk about people behind their backs.
• 8. Nothing said leaves the group.
• 9. Take responsibility for the life of the
  community. Take a turn facilitating or hosting
  the meeting. Do something that might help another
  s contribution to the group get noticed. Call
  an absent member. Pray for each other.
• Taken from "Creating Small Church Communities"
  Third Edition by Father Arthur R. Baranowski,
  

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Evaluation

• To keep focused, a Small Church Community
  needs to periodically evaluate the interaction
  between members and the growth of the small
  church community.
• What would deepen and improve our listening to
  each other? To our lives? To God?
• How do we handle disagreements and conflict in
  this group?
• Does our SCC see itself as church? How do we fit
  into the total vision of the parish? How can we
  grow in our sense of belonging to the larger
  church? Be specific.
• How is this SCC meeting helping each of us be
  different in our family, work place, society,
  attitude toward the poor of the world? Be
  specific.
• Do we often get bogged down in small talk? In
  discussion from the head instead of speaking and
  listening to life experience? What specific ways
  can we agree to that would deepen our time
  together?
• Is our SCC depending too much on one or a few
  people? What are the ways that each person in our
  SCC is taking responsibility for the group?
• What is the best thing we have going for us? What
  is the main obstacle to growth? To the group get
  noticed. Call an absent member. Pray for each
  other.
• Taken from "Creating Small Church Communities"
  Third Edition by Father Arthur R. Baranowski,

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Some Ways Your Members Can Participate in
Building Community

• Pay attention to what the others in the group are
  sharing and feeling.
• Make an effort to share from the deepest level
  possible, contribute from your heart.
• Greet each person warmly.
• Pray for the members of your small church.
• Support each other in faith and also in life
  events.
• Start your own small church traditions.
• Bake and share.
• Share your spiritual music tastes with your scc
  at meetings.

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What is the Difference between a prayer group and
a Small Church Community?

• A prayer group can become very member centered
  and isolated while a small church is connected to
  the larger church through the PF who encourages
  the members to keep the focus on the larger
  church.
• Because of the components of the SCC meeting and
  the encouragement and support of Core, Father
  Tom, and other PFs, an SCC develops the
  characteristics of the parish church in
  miniature
• formation
• prayer
• community
• a respect appreciation of the parish church
• Service/Mission

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Church as Community

• You are a church family or small church.
• All persons in the church share the same Holy
  Spirit and so are brothers sisters to each
  other.
• There is a basic equality with each other
• Each person has a gift or talent the community
  needs.

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Conflicts and Disagreements

• Are Inevitable
• Being faithful to God requires that all parties
  in heated discussions
• recognize their common status of imperfection
• be forgiving and accepting of one another in love
  

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The Good Shepherd

• That's pastoring.
• Revealing
• the mind
• of God
• to all,
• Against
• life's odds,
• Leading
• them
• Relying
• on God's wisdom.
• That's you,
• Seeks what God sees,
• Transferring it onto hearts
• Thomas R. Bridges

Like He, we must be. The Shepherd of all
shepherds Placing Himself in harm's
way. Seeking those who have gone astray. Your
mission being greater than you, Was the Master's
too. Leadership that is filled with
self-sacrifice, Warring off the wolves,