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Bereavement Support Services for Children and Young People www.talktostars.org.uk

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The impact of Grief on children and young people with SEND 4th February 2013 Bereavement Support Services for Children and Young People www.talktostars.org.uk – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: Bereavement Support Services for Children and Young People www.talktostars.org.uk


1
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
The impact of Grief on children and young people
with SEND 4th February 2013
2
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
Housekeeping
3
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
  • Aims
  • To consider the general bereavement needs of SEND
    children
  • To consider specific issues for various types of
    SEND
  • To build confidence to support bereaved CYP with
    SEND
  • To develop and enhance existing skills

4
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
  • Introductions
  • Why have you come today?
  • What do you hope to get out of the workshop?
  • What is your involvement with CYP and families
    with SEND?
  • What do you feel you can bring and contribute to
    the workshop?

5
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
Core Principles All children and young people,
regardless of their circumstances, have a right
to have their grief recognised, hear the trust,
and to be given opportunities to express their
feelings and emotions. Child Bereavement
Trust Children with learning difficulties do
not exist in isolation. They have the same need
for understanding, love and support in times of
crisis as any child. They are not separate from
the world and its effects. Their needs, however,
can appear so overwhelming that caring families
and professionals can them elves feel
disabled. Judy Sanderson, Interventions with
bereaved children, 1998
6
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
  • Special Educational Needs or Disabilities (SEND)
  • Regardless of age, some people have needs or
    disabilities that affect their ability to learn
    or function in life.
  • For example
  • Behavioural/social/communication
  • Reading and writing
  • Understanding things
  • Concentrating
  • Physical needs or impairments

7
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
  • Recognising the context
  • Some children have difficulties in more than one
    are of SEN or disability
  • Some children have greater levels of SEN than
    others
  • Moderate
  • Severe
  • Profound
  • Some children have parents or carers who also
    have some level of SEN or disability
  • Not all children have a formal diagnosis or
    recognition of the SEN

8
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
  • Considering their viewpoint
  • All grieving children have individual stories and
    response that can be influenced by
  • Family background and circumstances
  • Nature and circumstances of death
  • Level of knowledge about death and family beliefs
  • Individual ability to process and understand
    information
  • Difficulties in recognising emotional states in
    themselves and others
  • Difficulties in processing information
  • Physical illness or life limiting conditions

9
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
Understanding death and dying Young people
quickly pick up on our anxieties, spoken and
unspoken. What is your understanding of what
happens in death and dying? What are your
concerns about working with bereaved SEND
children? Can you find more than 1 way to
explain this to the person sitting next to you?
10
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
  • Childrens Bereavement needs
  • All children and young people have a need to
  • Understand what has happened
  • Understand the permanence of death
  • Express emotions
  • Remember the deceased in meaningful ways
  • Develop ways to manage the negative aspects of
    grieving

11
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
  • Barriers to communication and understanding
  • Children with learning difficulties are sometimes
    assumed to need protection from death and dying
    more than most or not have the capacity to
    understand.
  • We underestimate their ability to cope with the
    difficult things in life.
  • They need us to be able to be
  • Honest and clear in our explanations.
  • Pay attention to the language we use.

12
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
  • Communicating truthfully
  • Where the family allows
  • Tell them the truth about what has happened
  • Use real words like dead or died not
    euphemism such as lost
  • Be prepared to use drawings and pictures,
    timelines, flow charts to help them understand
    what is happening
  • Use as many real life examples as possible ....
    Pictures, photos.
  • Get them to tell you what they think is
    happening.
  • Check out their understanding.

13
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
Understanding death All children struggle with
the concept of death and its permanence. Children
with learning difficulties may find this
particularly difficult to grasp, especially the
permanence, and benefit from simple, practical
examples to illustrate the difference between
dead and living things. Activity Can you think
of any?
14
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
  • Suggestions
  • Buy a bunch of flowers, put them in a vase and
    observe them wilt, wither and die. Compare a
    fresh bunch of the same type. If kept, the dead
    flowers will illustrate that death is permanent,
    the flowers do not return to life.
  • Purchase a dead fish from the supermarket and
    compare it to a live one. Even when put into a
    bowl of water the dead one will not move,
    breathe, eat or swim.
  • Give the dead fish a burial that replication as
    far as possible a real one. Explain a cremation
    by burning leaves and mixing the resulting ashes
    with some earth.
  • Take photographs of the above and put into a
    book. This will act as a visual reminder of the
    many times when the explanation will need to be
    repeated.
  • Child Bereavement Trust

15
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
Understanding what happened Think about a young
person with SEND that you have contact with. How
do they understand new information? What of
things help support this understanding? e.g. Use
of symbols, key words Activity How could you
adapt their strategies to help them understand
what happened?
16
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
  • Suggestions
  • Make it visual and concrete
  • What happened story line/storyboard
  • Before, during, after activity
  • Make it into a story
  • Act it out with models/toys/puppets
  • Build knowledge up in layers to aid
    understanding ,scaffold,
  • Allow time to revisit frequently and ask same
    questions

17
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
Comfort Break
18
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
Impact of SEND on CYPs grief 4th
February 2013 Part 2
19
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
RECAP
20
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
  • Making sense of their story
  • All children and young people have a need to
    answer key questions about the bereavement such
    as
  • How do we die? Why do we die?
  • What/who makes us die?
  • Can I make someone die?
  • Did it hurt? What did it feel like?
  • Why couldnt someone help?
  • What about me?
  • Where are they now?

21
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
  • Making sense cont....
  • They also have questions such as
  • Are they (the deceased) angry with me?
  • Who else will die ... How will I know?
  • Why am I feeling like this?
  • How will I remember them?
  • Why will no-one listen to me now.....?
  • Am I the only one feeling like this?
  • Will I make it worse by upsetting them (family)?
  • When will it end?

22
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
Expressing emotions Children do not need
protection from the feelings and emotions
associated with grief They need support to
recognise them, in themselves and others and help
in expressing them safely. They need reassurance
that these sometimes powerful and overwhelming
emotions are normal and necessary. This is even
more the case for children with SEND.
23
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
  • Expressing emotions
  • Be prepared to teach or model the emotions
    associated with grief for instance by using
  • Stories, videos or others who are grieving
  • Worksheets to help reinforce and give visual
    record
  • Emotion card games to help recognition
  • Puppets to act out and model reactions
  • Paint and clay etc for free expression

24
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
For example.......... Talk in pairs what would
you use?
25
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
Remembering the dead person All bereaved people
have a need to make meaningful memories of the
deceased. Many young people with SEND have
difficulties with concentration and memory
recall. What is your understanding of the
ability to recall information easily or
accurately of the young person you work
with? What particular issues do you think this
may cause the young people you work with?
26
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
  • Making enduring memories
  • SEND CYP will often need additional help to
    place the memory in context and to have
    associated sensory memories validated not just
    cognitive ones.
  • Smells, colours and sounds can all strengthen the
    memory trace and aid subsequent recall.
  • SEND CYP will often need more memory prompts
  • Shiny stone for good/happy memory
  • Smooth but plain stone for ordinary memory
    person doing something routine perhaps
  • Black or rough stone for difficult memory

27
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
Tough or tricky memories Many CYP with or
without SEND will want to avoid unpleasant
memories. They will extra explanation about what
happens to our bodies when we think about things
that we dont like or are frightened of. They
will also need good simple appropriate
explanations for what was happening in the bad
memory- e.g. Memories about hospital visits or
the way the person changed during their illness.
28
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
Bringing it all together........
  • Thinking again of a young person with SEND that
    you have contact with
  • How would you plan to support them now?
  • Where would you begin?
  • What might you need to do, who might you need to
    speak to first?
  • What types of activities might you use?

29
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
  • When talking about death and bereavement with a
    child with SEND it might be helpful to consider-
  • WHO should be the key worker working with this
    child and family inform parents who this person
    will be and keep in contact.
  • WHERE is the child most receptive to new ideas?-
    Quiet room, pool, outside.
  • Use this space for talking with the child.
  • WHAT should be talked about? ( as agreed with
    parents)
  • Ensure that you use the same language and ideas
    as the family to avoid confusing the child.

Bringing it all together............
30
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
HOW is new information normally given? (signs,
symbols, verbally, pictures). Use the same format
to talk about illness and death. HOW is new
information normally backed up? You will
probably need to repeat information a number of
times over a long period. PROCEED at a level,
speed and language appropriate to the
child. BUILD on information given small bites
of the whole, given gradually will be easier to
absorb.
31
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
REPEAT information as often as needed. WATCH for
reactions to show the child understands modify
and repeat as needed. FOLLOW childs lead- if
indicating a need to talk or have feelings
acknowledged, encourage as appropriate. WATCH
for changes in behaviour to indicate the child is
struggling more than they can say and offer
support as needed.
32
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
LIAISE with other agencies involved with the
child to ensure accuracy and continuity if
information. REFRESH your understanding of the
extent or nature of the SEND. SEEK advice if you
feel that the child or young person is not
pr0gressing or is giving cause for concern in new
behaviours that persist over time.
33
Bereavement Support Services for Children and
Young People www.talktostars.org.uk
Wrap up Questions?
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