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BASIC COUNSELING IN THE CHURCH CONTEXT Sound Baptist Bible College December

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Title: BASIC COUNSELING IN THE CHURCH CONTEXT Sound Baptist Bible College December


1
BASIC COUNSELING IN THE CHURCH CONTEXTSound
Baptist Bible CollegeDecember
FebruaryInstructor Pastor Marvin McKenzie
2
  • Course Times The 2rd Saturday of the month,
    December February from 900 AM- 300 PM
  • Course Description
  • This course will cover basic counseling
    techniques any mature Christian may employ. It
    will also deal with philosophy of Christian
    counseling and the practice of referrals to
    professional Christian counselors.
  • Course Requirements
  • Students will be expected to
  • 1. Attend all classes.
  • 2. Read the textbook and prepare a class paper
    (due the final Saturday) outlining common
    biblical themes discovered throughout the
    Scriptures presented in the text and how these
    common themes might be used in basic counseling
  • 3. Take notes during lessons and participate in
    class discussions
  • 5. A test will be given at the end of the course.
  • Grades will be based on
  • 50 attendance
  • 30 participation
  • 20 test

3
Philosophy of Church Bible Counseling
  • Titus 21-8
  • But speak thou the things which become sound
    doctrine
  • That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate,
    sound in faith, in charity, in patience.
  • The aged women likewise, that they be in
    behaviour as becometh holiness, not false
    accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of
    good things
  • That they may teach the young women to be sober,
    to love their husbands, to love their children,
  • To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good,
    obedient to their own husbands, that the word of
    God be not blasphemed.
  • Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.
  • In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good
    works in doctrine shewing uncorruptness,
    gravity, sincerity,
  • Sound speech, that cannot be condemned that he
    that is of the contrary part may be ashamed,
    having no evil thing to say of you. (KJV)
  • Mature members of the church training less mature
  • Discipleship a form of counseling
  • Ladies counseling ladies, men counseling men
  • Protecting yourself from sexual questions

4
BIBLE BAPTIST CHURCH of PuyallupCOUNSELING POLICY
  • Bible Baptist Church offers counseling under
    certain conditions
  • 1. Our counseling sessions normally maximum of 7
    weeks. If the counselee desires further
    counseling I refer them to a professional
    Biblical counselor.
  • The counselee must understand that we are a Bible
    based ministry with distinctive Biblical values.
    We teach and stress these values in counseling
    sessions.
  • We do not use traditionally accepted counseling
    methods during our sessions. The counselee should
    not expect these sessions to resemble typical
    counseling practices.
  • 2. We require the counselee to attend each of our
    services at the church while counseling sessions
    are underway. We have church services Sunday
    morning, Sunday evening and Wednesday night. If
    the counselee is a member of another independent
    Baptist Church it will be acceptable for them to
    attend services there, but the same condition
    exists they must attend all services unless
    providentially hindered.

5
BIBLE BAPTIST CHURCH of PuyallupCOUNSELING POLICY
  • Bible Baptist Church offers counseling under
    certain conditions
  • 3. If the counselee is unable to attend all of
    the services during any one of the weeks of
    counseling, the session for that week will cost
    15.00 per hour to be paid in advance.
  • 4. We often give assignments to be performed
    before the next session. If the assignment is not
    completed the above fee applies for the session
    following the assignment.
  • 5. The counselee must understand we are not
    registered as counselors in the state of
    Washington. The counselee must agree to not hold
    Pastor Marvin McKenzie, Bible Baptist Church of
    Puyallup, WA, or any of its members liable for
    any perceived or real problems connected with our
    counseling sessions.
  • 6. The sessions should be scheduled for Tuesday
    or Thursday afternoons. On occasion I can
    schedule other days and times but I like to make
    them the exception rather than the rule.

6
BIBLE BAPTIST CHURCH of PuyallupCOUNSELING POLICY
  • Bible Baptist Church offers counseling under
    certain conditions
  • I, __________________________________,
    acknowledge and understand that Pastor Marvin
    McKenzie is not a licensed counselor in the state
    of Washington, but is rather a preacher of the
    Gospel of Jesus Christ. I agree that by receiving
    counseling from Pastor McKenzie I will strive to
    complete any assignments he may give. I further
    agree that I will not hold Pastor McKenzie, Bible
    Baptist Church, or any of its members liable for
    any perceived or real problems connected with any
    counseling sessions received.
  • ______________________ __________
  • Counselee Date

7
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • Isaiah 96
  • Some people believe that Isaiah 96 has only four
    names, not five.
  • Wonderful counselor
  • Mighty God
  • Everlasting Father
  • Prince of Peace

8
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • I personally believe that wonderful and counselor
    should be separated into two different names for
    Christ, and I intend to demonstrate why today.
  • But there is no doubt that Christ is a wonderful
    counselor.
  • And it is He that we need to run to for counsel
    and direction for our lives.
  • Not the therapists
  • Not the psychologists
  • Not even the Christian counselors and pastors

9
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • The only kind of human counselor I think is worth
    his salt is the kind whose believes all he can do
    is take you by the hand and lead you to the
    Wonderful Counselor, Jesus Christ.

10
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • THE QUALIFICATION OF THIS COUNSELOR
  • A. The passages
  • Romans 1514 KJV
  • And I myself also am persuaded of you, my
    brethren, that ye also are full of goodness,
    filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish
    one another.
  • Colossians 316 KJV
  • Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all
    wisdom teaching and admonishing one another in
    psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing
    with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

11
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • THE QUALIFICATION OF THIS COUNSELOR
  • A. The passages
  • The Hebrew word counselor in Isaiah 9 means "to
    advise, to deliberate or resolve."
  • The word admonish means "to put in mind, to
    caution, rebuke or warn."

12
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • THE QUALIFICATION OF THIS COUNSELOR
  • A. The passages
  • The purpose of counsel is to put things before a
    person's mind to bring about a resolution for
    them.

13
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • THE QUALIFICATION OF THIS COUNSELOR
  • B. The principles
  • From these two passages three qualifications have
    been suggested
  • 1. A knowledge of the Scriptures as they apply to
    personal life
  • 2. A concern for others
  • 3. An enthusiasm and zeal for life

14
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • THE QUALIFICATION OF THIS COUNSELOR
  • You have to care for others (full of goodness,
    empathy)
  • You have to have the tools to help others (Word
    of Christ dwell in your richly, filled with all
    knowledge)
  • You need to enjoy and love life (richly, songs
    and hymns and spiritual songs)
  • Without the concern you will not be motivated
  • Without the knowledge of the Scriptures you will
    not be equipped
  • Without the zest for life you will be overcome
    with the trials of the work (if you are not an
    overcomer, you will be overcome!)

15
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • THE QUALIFICATION OF THIS COUNSELOR
  • C. The application to Jesus
  • If these are in fact appropriate qualifications
    for counselors, Christ fills the requirements
    above any other.

16
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • THE QUALIFICATION OF THIS COUNSELOR
  • His concern
  • Romans 58 KJV
  • But God commendeth his love toward us, in that,
    while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
  • His knowledge
  • John 133 KJV
  • Jesus knowing that the Father had given all
    things into his hands, and that he was come from
    God, and went to God
  • His zeal for life
  • John 14 KJV
  • In him was life and the life was the light of
    men.

17
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • THE CHARACTER OF THIS COUNSELOR
  • A. His counsel guides
  • Psalms 7324 KJV
  • Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and
    afterward receive me to glory.
  • It both protects and controls.
  • Guidance is restrictive. A guide tells you where
    you may go, but he also tells you where you may
    not.

18
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • THE CHARACTER OF THIS COUNSELOR
  • B. His counsel instructs
  • Isaiah 4013-14 KJV
  • Who hath directed the Spirit of the LORD, or
    being his counsellor hath taught him?
  • With whom took he counsel, and who instructed
    him, and taught him in the path of judgment, and
    taught him knowledge, and shewed to him the way
    of understanding?
  • Counsel requires we come to understand truth and
    judgment.

19
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • THE CHARACTER OF THIS COUNSELOR
  • C. His counsel comforts
  • Proverbs 279 KJV
  • Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart so doth
    the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty
    counsel.
  • Does this mean that everything Christ says to us
    is easy to take and pleasant to the ears?
  • No.
  • John 6 .. the hard sayings and how many turned
    away from Him because of them.
  • Nevertheless, those very hard sayings are an
    immense comfort to those who submit to them.

20
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • THE DISCERNING OF HIS COUNSEL
  • How do we know the counsel of Christ?
  • How does He do it?

21
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • THE DISCERNING OF HIS COUNSEL
  • A. Through the Scriptures
  • 2 Timothy 316-17 KJV
  • All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and
    is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for
    correction, for instruction in righteousness
  • That the man of God may be perfect, throughly
    furnished unto all good works.
  • Colossians says to let the Word of Christ dwell
    in you richly.
  • During those times when we need guidance and
    counsel from the Lord we need to follow the
    counsel of

22
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • THE DISCERNING OF HIS COUNSEL
  • A. Through the Scriptures
  • Psalms 11-3 KJV
  • Blessed is the man that walketh not in the
    counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way
    of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the
    scornful.
  • But his delight is in the law of the LORD and in
    his law doth he meditate day and night.
  • And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers
    of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his
    season his leaf also shall not wither and
    whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.
  • Especially when you need to know what to do, get
    away from the ungodly and get into your Bible.

23
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • THE DISCERNING OF HIS COUNSEL
  • B. Through prayer
  • Judges 2018 KJV
  • And the children of Israel arose, and went up to
    the house of God, and asked counsel of God, and
    said, Which of us shall go up first to the battle
    against the children of Benjamin? And the LORD
    said, Judah shall go up first.
  • Judges 2023 KJV
  • (And the children of Israel went up and wept
    before the LORD until even, and asked counsel of
    the LORD, saying, Shall I go up again to battle
    against the children of Benjamin my brother? And
    the LORD said, Go up against him.)

24
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • THE DISCERNING OF HIS COUNSEL
  • B. Through prayer
  • This sort of prayer requires that we not only
    ask, but that we also know how to hear the Lord.
  • First Be still, stop and wait
  • Second Be persistent keep asking until you
    sense the answer
  • Third be aware, He isn't going to answer in the
    wind, the earthquake or the fire but in the still
    small voice
  • (1 Kings 1912)
  • There was a wind
  • There was an earthquake and
  • There was a fire
  • But God wasn't in them. You will have to be aware
    of spiritual things to wait for God while all
    those crashing sounds pass.

25
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • THE DISCERNING OF HIS COUNSEL
  • C. Through the counsel of mature saints/pastor
  • Titus 215 KJV
  • These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with
    all authority. Let no man despise thee.
  • God gives us the local church, the mature saints
    in the church and the pastor of the church to
    give counsel.
  • We do not well whenever we make major life
    choices without seeking our pastor's input

26
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • THE DISCERNING OF HIS COUNSEL
  • D. Through circumstances
  • Genesis 2427 KJV
  • And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of my master
    Abraham, who hath not left destitute my master of
    his mercy and his truth I being in the way, the
    LORD led me to the house of my master's brethren.
  • Eliezar was Abraham's servant, sent to find a
    bride of Isaac.
  • He has asked God for certain things to line up in
    order to help him discern the Lord's will.
  • Being in the way, allowing God to work out the
    circumstances, Eliezar was able to know the will
    of God.

27
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • THE DISCERNING OF HIS COUNSEL
  • E. Through the confirmation of the Holy Spirit
  • Acts 166-10 KJV
  • Now when they had gone throughout Phrygia and the
    region of Galatia, and were forbidden of the Holy
    Ghost to preach the word in Asia,
  • After they were come to Mysia, they assayed to go
    into Bithynia but the Spirit suffered them not.
  • And they passing by Mysia came down to Troas.
  • And a vision appeared to Paul in the night There
    stood a man of Macedonia, and prayed him, saying,
    Come over into Macedonia, and help us.
  • And after he had seen the vision, immediately we
    endeavoured to go into Macedonia, assuredly
    gathering that the Lord had called us for to
    preach the gospel unto them.

28
THE NAMES OF GODCOUNSELLOR
  • THE DISCERNING OF HIS COUNSEL
  • Pay attention to that still small voice inside
    you. It is amazing how many times God will be
    telling us either we should do something or we
    should not and we ignore the leadership of the
    Holy Spirit.
  • Learn to tell the difference between your flesh's
    desires and the voice of the Holy Ghost within
    you and
  • Learn to obey that voice.

29
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Most people are in trouble because they haven't
    been doing the basics.
  • Three major areas of life
  • Physical
  • Psychological
  • Spiritual
  • Help people be sound in all three areas.

30
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • We are not Christian counselors we are Biblical
    counselors.
  • We tell people what the Bible says.

31
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Once we have trusted Christ our goal is to become
    healthier Christians.

32
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Go through your difficult circumstances so that
    someone else may be blessed.
  • The things we go through and have been through
    are the tools God will use to help us help
    others.
  • You may not tell them how you have been through a
    trouble but you will know how to relate because
    you have experienced difficulties. Treasure up
    those experiences to be used of the Lord.

33
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Paul and Silas knew how to live above their
    circumstances.
  • Acts 16
  • "You cannot choose your circumstances. All you
    can choose is how you react to your
    circumstances."
  • They went through their difficulty that God might
    show His power on their behalf.

34
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
35
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Soul Relations to man personality, feelings
  • Inferiority, insecurity, etc. because of the
    input of the world.
  • Spirit relates to God - consciousness,
    intuition. Knowing, no feeling
  • Assurance
  • Body Relates to environment
  • Self is in the center of it all and it comes out
    in several ways
  • Hostility - violence
  • Emotions - depression, anxiety
  • Problems in the body, illness, heart issues,
    tension, stress because we haven't talked out our
    frustrations and problems.

36
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Problems come because of
  • Stupidity
  • Sin
  • Serving God

37
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Problems in the Body
  • Four reasons why people get sick
  • 1. Because of the natural weakness of the flesh -
    because of Adamic sin
  • 2. Because of the chastening of God
  • 3. Because of (for) the glory of God man born
    blind.
  • 4. Because it is appointed unto man to die. A
    release from this life into the next.

38
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Problems in the mind
  • Fantasize
  • Detach through TV, Radio, etc.
  • Most people can't hear God because of the noises
    in their life.
  • Paranoia
  • Obsessive thoughts
  • Schizophrenia

39
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Problems in the Spirit
  • Number one goal is to love the Lord
  • If you love someone you dont want to displease
    them.
  • Spirit filled Christians do not burn out.
  • If they burn out they are serving in the energy
    of the flesh.

40
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Problems in the Spirit
  • Some people only serve God out of fear.
  • When the fear goes away they quit.
  • Love is the number one motive
  • He wants us to love Him.
  • We will serve Him because we fear Him but his
    desire is for us to love Him.
  • He can get His work done (donkey, cock) but He
    wants us to love Him.

41
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Problems in the Spirit
  • God wants our love
  • People need our love

42
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Problems in the Spirit
  • Second goal is to help others love God
  • Obedience will come if we love God properly.
  • Too many people teach their children commandments
    but the kids grow up to leave God because we did
    not teach them to love God.

43
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Problems in the Spirit
  • Love is more caught than taught. They will learn
    to love God by seeing us love God
  • Talk of Him
  • Praise Him
  • Express His blessings
  • Pray for answers and point out the solution and
    praise Him
  • Romans 1136
  • Of Him
  • Through Him
  • To Him
  • Everything rises and falls on God. (Not on
    leadership)

44
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Problems in the Spirit
  • 1 Corinthians 311-15
  • If we do the work for God and have the wrong
    motives we are building wood hay and stubble.
  • Sing
  • Teaching class
  • Soul winning
  • Desiring position
  • With wrong motives

45
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Problems in the Spirit
  • Do what we do because we are Christ directed.
  • Pray about what we give (above the tithe)
  • Pray about where we serve the Lord
  • Pray about day to day duties.
  • How much communication do we have with God.

46
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Problems in the Spirit
  • If we love God we will love our neighbor
  • Mean
  • Cold
  • Bitter
  • If you are characterized by these you dont love
    God.

47
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Problems in the Spirit
  • Cannot manufacture Christ love.
  • Revelation 21

48
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Problems in the Spirit
  • Love for God is first
  • Matthew 2235-40
  • First work is to love Jesus
  • Second work is to help others Love the Lord

49
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Four things unfulfilled in sinner's life
  • Love
  • Acceptance
  • Care
  • Purpose in life
  • Purpose in life is your worth, the ability to
    feel important.

50
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Five emotional needs
  • Acceptance
  • Approval
  • Admiration
  • Application
  • Assurance

51
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Three ways people try to fill emotional needs
  • Thrills (roller coasters etc)
  • Things (buying stuff)
  • Theories (trying to prove something or discover
    something new.)

52
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • People seek to get their needs met
  • In the home
  • Out of the home drugs, alcohol, sex, etc
  • Through Jesus Christ

53
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Purpose in life is your worth, the ability to
    feel important.
  • We get our worth from two places
  • God
  • Others

54
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • We are best off when we get our worth from God
    because if we get it from others we will be let
    down.
  • Children sense of adequacy of inferiority because
    they didnt get the right sense of worth from
    their parents.
  • Most need to be reprogrammed. We need to find out
    what God's sense of value is.

55
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Ecclesiastes 117 - chapter two
  • Looking for knowledge
  • Looking for pleasure
  • Looking for chemicals
  • Looking for materials
  • Looking for self worth
  • But none of it satisfied.

56
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Marriage definition
  • Marriage is a man and woman joining hand in hand
    together to work out life's problems. (The
    helpmate relationship)
  • Definition of love
  • The sacrificial giving of oneself to meet the
    needs of another.

57
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Performance Based Acceptance pg 162-165
  • Performance Based Acceptance" people want to be
    loved and will run with anyone that will let them
    because they want to be accepted.
  • You will not have everyone's acceptance no matter
    what we do so we have to choose to find
    acceptance in Christ.

58
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
Performance Based Acceptance pg 156
We are just as accepted by God as Jesus is!
59
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Performance Based Acceptance
  • We have the favor of God as Christ had it.
  • He does not always approve of my behavior but He
    always accepts me.

60
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Performance Based Acceptance
  • Parents should not speak of behavior and
    acceptance as the same thing.
  • Correct behavior but always express love and
    acceptance.

61
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Performance Based Acceptance
  • "Your mom and I can't stand lying. We hate liars.
    And you lied"
  • That tells the child you hate them.
  • "Son you mom and I decided we won't tolerate
    lying. We love you but we will not let you behave
    this way."
  • That separates the behavior from the acceptance
    of his parents.

62
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Performance Based Acceptance
  • Four things God offers us in His love
  • Eternal life
  • Forgiveness of sins
  • Unconditional acceptance
  • Home in heaven

63
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Performance Based Acceptance
  • I know that God loves me but that He can't stand
    sinful behaviour.

64
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Performance Based Acceptance
  • Basis of acceptance
  • 2 Corinthians 521
  • 1 John 410
  • How far did God go in demonstrating his love for
    us?
  • Jesus died for us.

65
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Positional truth
  • pg157

66
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Positional truth
  • Pg 158

67
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Positional truth
  • pg 159

68
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Positional truth
  • Pg 160
  • The Christians I Ams
  • Pg 169

69
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Guilt
  • Two types of guilt
  • Real guilt -sin
  • Imaginary guilt
  • Something the devil puts in your mind but has no
    substance.
  • Confessed sin coming up again

70
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Guilt
  • Confession of sin involves repentance.
  • Being in agreement with God about the sin and
    turning away from it.
  • When Satan accuses you of already confessed sin
  • Pray
  • Plead the blood and
  • Praise God for victory
  • Out loud

71
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Guilt
  • Galatians 220
  • Is it proper to personalize Christ's love?
  • Yes.
  • Personal in that he lives in me
  • Personal that I live in Him.
  • To the extent that you understand the price
    Christ paid and to the degree you recognize your
    sinfulness, you will comprehend Christ's
    sacrifice for you and you will love Him.

72
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Guilt
  • To whom much is forgiven..
  • We are personally responsible for our sins
  • Romans 323

73
Basics to counseling are the basics of the
Christian life
  • Guilt
  • Remember that you will have people that will try
    to blame everybody for their problems you will
    need to bring them back to the place where they
    are accountable.

74
Anger
  • CASES
  • The two most powerful human emotions are LOVE and
    ANGER Love is health-producing, while anger is
    health-destroying.
  • JACOB, the anger of a spouse against a spouse,
    Gen. 302.
  • MOSES, the anger of a leader against followers,
    Ex. 3219.
  • BALAAM, the anger of a man against an animal,
    Num. 2227.
  • ELIAB, the anger of a sibling against a
    sibling, 1 Sam. 1728.
  • SAUL, the anger of a parent against his child,
    1 Sam. 2030.

75
Anger
  • CASES
  • "Over and over in the literature on the subject,
    depression is described as anger turned inside"
    (Happiness is a Choice, p. 99).

76
Anger
  • CASES
  • Various levels of anger.

  • Rage
  • Fury
  • Wrath
  • Indignation
  • Mild Irritation

77
Anger
  • CAUSES
  • Anger and aggression always occur in response to
    frustration!
  • A frustration is an obstacle (an event, a
    physical barrier, some person) which hinders our
    progress toward a goal.

78
Anger
  • CAUSES
  • You can get angry in response to...
  • A flat tire on the way to church.
  • A sickness that comes as you are beginning a
    vacation.
  • A telephone that rings while you are trying to
    get a bath or eat a meal.
  • A job promotion that is given to someone else.
  • A Yale University study states when people are
    frustrated they always become aggressive.

79
Anger
  • CONSEOUENCES
  • Anger Destroys Home-Life, Gen. 45-8.
  • Anger Destroys Health.
  • "Approximately 97 of the cases of bleeding
    ulcers without organic origin I have dealt with
    are caused by anger" (Dr. Henry Brandt).
  • Anger Destroys Holiness
  • Eph. 430.
  • Anger short circuits more Christians and makes
    more spiritual pygmies than any other sin. It has
    caused more church strife and "turned off" more
    young converts than anything else. It also
    grieves the Holy Spirit.

80
Anger
  • How do people deal with anger?
  • 1. Some DENY their anger.
  • 2. Some DEFLECT their anger, by withdrawal.
  • 3. Some DISPLACE their anger.
  • 4. Some DOWNPLAY their anger. "It's not that
    bad. It's all over in just a few moments." You
    could also say that of an explosion!
  • 5. Some DETEST their anger. This takes the form
    of self-criticism, physical ailments, feelings of
    inferiority, even self-destruction.

81
Anger
  • CURE
  • The Word of God indicates we are capable of
    deliberate action.
  • Each of us is to deal with our anger in the light
    of God's truth.

82
Anger
  • CURE
  • 1. Admit your anger is sin.
  • ? Anger is sin when it is hasty, Prov. 1417
    1632 Jam. 119.
  • ? Anger is sin when it is without cause,
    Matt.522.
  • ? Anger is sin when it is long lasting, Eccl.79.

83
Anger
  • CURE
  • 2. Agree with God - confess your anger to God, 1
    John 19.
  • 3. Avail yourself of the power of the Holy Spirit
    to conquer your uncontrolled anger. The power of
    the Spirit is available, but not automatic, Gal.
    516, 19-23.
  • 4. Avoid keeping company with furious and
    perpetually angry people, Prov. 2224, 25.
  • 5. Accept God's mercy, grace, and power.

84
Anger
  • CURE
  • Repeat this formula as needed.

85
Anger
86
Anger
87
Anger
88
Anger
89
  • Administer Spiritual Gifts Test

90
ANXIOUS
  • CASE
  • MARTHA,
  • Luke 1037-42And he said, He that shewed mercy
    on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou
    likewise.Now it came to pass, as they went, that
    he entered into a certain village and a certain
    woman named Martha received him into her
    house.And she had a sister called Mary, which
    also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word.40
    But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and
    came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care
    that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid
    her therefore that she help me.41 And Jesus
    answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou
    art careful and troubled about many things42
    But one thing is needful and Mary hath chosen
    that good part, which shall not be taken away
    from her. (KJV)

91
ANXIOUS
  • CASE
  • 1. MARTHA FRETTING, v. 40.
  • 2. MARTHA RESENTING, v. 40.
  • 3. MARTHA DICTATING, v. 40.

92
ANXIOUS
  • CASE
  • According to Dr. Gary Collins, in Overcoming
    Anxiety, anxiety can have several dimensions, in
    regard to depth and degree. A person's anxiety
    may be...
  • Specific (the barking of a dog) or
    Free-floating(does not know why)
  • Acute (comes quickly, high intensity, short
    duration) or
  • Chronic (lower intensity, longer lasting)
  • Normal (when there is real danger) or
  • Neurotic (abnormal feelings of discomfort when
    danger is mild or non-existent)

93
ANXIOUS
  • CASE
  • A neurotic is a person who worries about things
    that never happened in the past, unlike
  • A normal person worries about things that never
    happen in the future

94
ANXIOUS
  • CAUSES
  • What causes anxiety?
  • Lack of FACTS,
  • Rom 1017
  • So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by
    the word of God. (KJV)
  • Worry is the result of a basic lack of trust in
    God.
  • It stems from a lack of knowledge of God - who He
    is and what He is like.
  • It finally and ultimately can be linked to a
    deficiency of divine truth.

95
ANXIOUS
  • CAUSES
  • What causes anxiety?
  • FEAR.
  • "Worry is emotional distress caused by
    anticipating unknown adversity."
  • "Worry is a thin stream of fear that trickles
    through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a wind
    channel that drains away all other thoughts."

96
ANXIOUS
  • CAUSES
  • What causes anxiety?
  • Lack of FAITH,
  • Romans 1423
  • And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because
    he eateth not of faith for whatsoever is not of
    faith is sin. (KJV)

97
ANXIOUS
  • CAUSES
  • What causes anxiety?
  • FOOLISHNESS,
  • Matthew 626-30.
  • Behold the fowls of the air for they sow not,
    neither do they reap, nor gather into barns yet
    your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not
    much better than they?
  • Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit
    unto his stature?
  • And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the
    lilies of the field, how they grow they toil
    not, neither do they spin
  • And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all
    his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
  • Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the
    field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast
    into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you,
    O ye of little faith? (KJV)

98
ANXIOUS
  • CAUSES
  • What causes anxiety?
  • The Birds teach us worry is unnecessary when it
    comes to food, v. 26.
  • The Body teaches us worry is unavailing when it
    comes to longevity, v.27.
  • The Blossoms teach us worry is unbecoming when it
    comes to clothes, v. 28-30.

99
ANXIOUS
  • CONSEQUENCES
  • EMOTIONAL damage.
  • The person who is anxious is robbed of joy and
    peace.

100
ANXIOUS
  • CONSEQUENCES
  • PHYSICAL damage.
  • Anxiety can result in...
  • butterflies in the stomach,
  • a lump in the throat,
  • cotton in the mouth,
  • rapid heart beat,
  • shortness of breath,
  • inability to sleep, and
  • loss of appetite.

101
ANXIOUS
  • CONSEQUENCES
  • SOCIAL damage.
  • A person who is a chronic worrier is not much fun
    to be around.
  • Friendships cannot flourish in an atmosphere of
    anxiety.

102
ANXIOUS
  • CONSEQUENCES
  • SPIRITUAL damage,
  • Matt 1322
  • He also that received seed among the thorns is he
    that heareth the word and the care of this
    world, and the deceitfulness of riches, choke the
    word, and he becometh unfruitful. (KJV)

103
ANXIOUS
  • CURE
  • 1. Learn to Trust in the Lord,
  • Prov 35-6
  • Trust in the LORD with all thine heart and lean
    not unto thine own understanding.
  • In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall
    direct thy paths. (KJV)

104
ANXIOUS
  • CURE
  • 2. Learn to Cast your care on the Lord,
  • 1 Peter 57
  • Casting all your care upon him for he careth for
    you. (KJV)
  • You may have heard about John, who hired a man to
    do all his worrying for him.
  • When asked how much it cost him, he disclosed, "A
    thousand dollars a week."
  • "How could you possibly afford to pay him 1,000
    a week?"
  • To which John answered, "That's his first worry."

105
ANXIOUS
  • CURE
  • 3. Learn to Pray,
  • Phil 46-7
  • Be careful for nothing but in every thing by
    prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let
    your requests be made known unto God.
  • And the peace of God, which passeth all
    understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds
    through Christ Jesus. (KJV)

106
ANXIOUS
  • CURE
  • 4. Learn to Share and Bear your burdens,
  • Gal 61-2
  • Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye
    which are spiritual, restore such an one in the
    spirit of meekness considering thyself, lest
    thou also be tempted.
  • Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the
    law of Christ. (KJV)

107
ANXIOUS
  • CURE
  • 5. Learn to Live one day at a time,
  • Matt 634
  • Take therefore no thought for the morrow for the
    morrow shall take thought for the things of
    itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil
    thereof. (KJV)
  • "By the yard life is hard. By the inch life's a
    cinch."
  • "You've got to learn to relax."

108
UNFORGIVING
  • Case
  • AHITHOPHEL'S refusal to forgive DAVID.
  • His counsel
  • 2 Sam 1623
  • And the counsel of Ahithophel, which he
    counselled in those days, was as if a man had
    inquired at the oracle of God so was all the
    counsel of Ahithophel both with David and with
    Absalom. (KJV)

109
UNFORGIVING
  • Case
  • AHITHOPHEL'S refusal to forgive DAVID.
  • His children,
  • 2 Sam 2323-34
  • He was more honourable than the thirty, but he
    attained not to the first three. And David set
    him over his guard.
  • Eliphelet the son of Ahasbai, the son of the
    Maachathite, Eliam the son of Ahithophel the
    Gilonite, (KJV)

110
UNFORGIVING
  • Case
  • AHITHOPHEL'S refusal to forgive DAVID.
  • AHITHOPHEL'S GRIEF.
  • Bathsheba was Ahithophel's granddaughter. (2
    Samuel 113) What an awful grief to him for his
    friend, David, to take his granddaughter.

111
UNFORGIVING
  • Case
  • AHITHOPHEL'S refusal to forgive DAVID.
  • AHlTHOPHEL'S GUILT.
  • David forgiven by God,
  • 2 Sam 1213
  • And David said unto Nathan,I have sinned against
    the LORD. And Nathan said unto David, The LORD
    also hath put away thy sin thou shalt not die.
    (KJV)
  • However, Ahithophel would not forgive David.

112
UNFORGIVING
  • Case
  • AHITHOPHEL'S refusal to forgive DAVID.
  • AHlTHOPHEL'S GUILT.
  • Ahithophel...
  • Joined a conspiracy against David,
  • 2 Sam. 1512.
  • Gave wicked counsel,
  • 2 Sam. 1620-23.
  • Wanted to kill David,
  • 2 Sam. 171, 2.

113
UNFORGIVING
  • Case
  • AHITHOPHEL'S refusal to forgive DAVID.
  • AHITHOPHEL'S GRAVE.
  • 2 Sam 1723
  • And when Ahithophel saw that his counsel was not
    followed, he saddled his ass, and arose, and
  • gat him home to his house, to his city, and put
    his household in order, and hanged himself, and
  • died, and was buried in the sepulchre of his
    father. (KJV)

114
UNFORGIVING
  • "Here lies Ahithophel --the man who would not
    forgive!"

115
UNFORGIVING
  • The cause of God is always greater than the men
    who represent it, and no one is ever justified in
    leaving his place of service because of another
    person's failure.

116
UNFORGIVING
  • Cause
  • Why do some people refuse to forgive others of
    their sins and failures?
  • The Superiority of unforgiveness.
  • When a person refuses to forgive another person,
    that person is placing himself above God and
    Jesus Christ who says, "I forgive."
  • This is a not so subtle form of pride and
    rebellion against God.
  • It is a way of feeling, "I don't deserve this
    kind of treatment."

117
UNFORGIVING
  • Cause
  • Why do some people refuse to forgive others of
    their sins and failures?
  • The Stupidity of unforqiveness.
  • "He who cannot forgive others burns the bridge
    over which he himself must pass" (George Herbert).

118
UNFORGIVING
  • Cause
  • Why do some people refuse to forgive others of
    their sins and failures?
  • The Spirit of unforqiveness.
  • Forgiveness is not
  • ... a feeling.
  • ... pretending you were not hurt.
  • ...saying what the other person did was not wrong.

119
UNFORGIVING
  • Cause
  • Why do some people refuse to forgive others of
    their sins and failures?
  • The Spirit of unforqiveness.
  • Forgiveness is a decision I make to obey God and
    to live my daily life not allowing Someone else's
    actions or attitudes to determine by actions or
    attitudes.

120
UNFORGIVING
  • Cause
  • Why do some people refuse to forgive others of
    their sins and failures?
  • The Spirit of unforqiveness.
  • 2 Cor 21-11
  • But I determined this with myself, that I would
    not come again to you in heaviness.
  • For if I make you sorry, who is he then that
    maketh me glad, but the same which is made sorry
    by me?
  • And I wrote this same unto you, lest, when I
    came, I should have sorrow from them of whom I
    ought to rejoice having confidence in you all,
    that my joy is the joy of you all.
  • For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I
    wrote unto you with many tears not that ye
    should be grieved, but that ye might know the
    love which I have more abundantly unto you.
  • But if any have caused grief, he hath not grieved
    me, but in part that I may not overcharge you
    all.
  • Sufficient to such a man is this punishment,
    which was inflicted of many.
  • So that contrariwise ye ought rather to forgive
    him, and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one
    should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow.
  • Wherefore I beseech you that ye would confirm
    your love toward him.
  • For to this end also did I write, that I might
    know the proof of you, whether ye be obedient in
    all things.
  • To whom ye forgive any thing, I forgive also for
    if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave it, for
    your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ
  • Lest Satan should get an advantage of us for we
    are not ignorant of his devices. (KJV)

121
UNFORGIVING
  • Cause
  • Why do some people refuse to forgive others of
    their sins and failures?
  • The Selfishness of unforgiveness.
  • A spirit of unforgiveness is determined to have
    it's way, instead of yielding to God's way.

122
UNFORGIVING
  • Consequences
  • Dale Carnegie tells of the grizzly bears in
    Yellowstone Park who, allowed the skunks to eat
    with them. He said it was because the bears knew
    "the high cost of getting even."

123
UNFORGIVING
  • Consequences
  • What are the consequences of a person who will
    not easily and quickly forgive?
  • Socially, he will have no friends.
  • Emotionally, he will have no joy.
  • Mentally, he will have no peace.
  • Morally, he will have no integrity.
  • Domestically, he will have no intimacy.
  • Congregationally, he will have no fellowship.
  • Physically, he will have no health
  • Spiritually, he will have no life.

124
UNFORGIVING
  • Consequences
  • What are the consequences of a person who will
    not easily and quickly forgive?
  • When a person will not forgive He shuts himself
    off from God,
  • Matt 614-15
  • For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your
    heavenly Father will also forgive you
  • But if ye forgive not men their trespasses,
    neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
    (KJV)

125
UNFORGIVING
  • Consequences
  • What are the consequences of a person who will
    not easily and quickly forgive?
  • When a person will not forgive...
  • He opens himself up to the devil,
  • 2 Cor 210-11
  • To whom ye forgive any thing, I forgive also for
    if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave it, for
    your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ
  • Lest Satan should get an advantage of us for we
    are not ignorant of his devices. (KJV)

126
UNFORGIVING
  • Cure
  • Exodus 1523-25
  • And when they came to Marah, they could not drink
    of the waters of Marah, for they were
  • bitter therefore the name of it was called
    Marah.
  • And the people murmured against Moses, saying,
    What shall we drink?
  • And he cried unto the LORD and the LORD shewed
    him a tree, which when he had cast
  • into the waters, the waters were made sweet
    there he made for them a statute and an
  • ordinance, and there he proved them, (KJV)

127
UNFORGIVING
  • Cure
  • The cure for an unforgiving disposition is not
    found in...
  • The process of counselling.
  • We all may need some from time
  • to time and that's O. K.
  • The passing of the clock.
  • Time does not heal all wounds.
  • The cure is found in the...
  • Cross, v.25. The "tree" is one of the first
    pictures of the cross of Christ.

128
UNFORGIVING
  • Cure
  • RX for an Unforgiving Disposition.
  • 1. Compare your hurt with Jesus', Luke 2334.
  • 2. Confess your unforgiveness as sin, Ps.6618.
  • 3. Claim the benefits of the cross.
  • 4. Clear the record, with a "second event" of
    forgiveness that is as memorable as the event of
    offense. This is Bible "forgetting," Gen. 4151.
  • 5. Commit to do everything God requires to make
    reconciliation.
  • 6. Conquer any reoccurrence of this disposition
    by staying in the Word of God, Ps. 119165.

129
Forgiving vs Consequences
  • Hebrews 1026-29 KJV
  • For if we sin wilfully after that we have
    received the knowledge of the truth, there
    remaineth no more sacrifice for sins,
  • But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and
    fiery indignation, which shall devour the
    adversaries.
  • He that despised Moses' law died without mercy
    under two or three witnesses
  • Of how much sorer punishment, suppose ye, shall
    he be thought worthy, who hath trodden under foot
    the Son of God, and hath counted the blood of the
    covenant, wherewith he was sanctified, an unholy
    thing, and hath done despite unto the Spirit of
    grace?
  • There was no sacrifice provided in the Old
    Testament for willful or presumptuous sins.
    Certain things could not go away by merely asking
    for forgiveness or confessing the sin. For
    instance,

130
Forgiving vs Consequences
  • When Achan took the accursed thing, Joshua
    admonished him to give glory to God and he did
    confess. Still he and his family were stoned.
  • When the man was caught gathering sticks, they
    did not develop a plan of restoration. They
    stoned him.
  • God said that if a man took a woman in the field
    and she could not cry for help, he was to be
    stoned, no questions asked, no opportunity for
    restoration

131
Forgiving vs Consequences
  • 1 Corinthians 106-11 KJV
  • Now these things were our examples, to the intent
    we should not lust after evil things, as they
    also lusted.
  • Neither be ye idolaters, as were some of them as
    it is written, The people sat down to eat and
    drink, and rose up to play.
  • Neither let us commit fornication, as some of
    them committed, and fell in one day three and
    twenty thousand.
  • Neither let us tempt Christ, as some of them also
    tempted, and were destroyed of serpents.
  • Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured,
    and were destroyed of the destroyer.
  • Now all these things happened unto them for
    ensamples and they are written for our
    admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are
    come.
  • There is a principle from the Old Testament that
    applies even in our day of grace.
  • Hebrews 1026 gives us proof that the Old
    Testament principle concerning the willful sin
    still is in effect today. The specific issue is
    in regards to church attendance, but the context
    makes it clear that willful sin is not just
    church attendance.

132
Forgiving vs Consequences
  • 1 John 516 KJV
  • If any man see his brother sin a sin which is not
    unto death, he shall ask, and he shall give him
    life for them that sin not unto death. There is a
    sin unto death I do not say that he shall pray
    for it.
  • Barnes Notes says of the above verse, "There is a
    sin unto death - A sin which is of such a
    character that it throws the offender beyond the
    reach of mercy, and which is not to be pardoned.
    See Mar_328-29. The apostle does not here say
    what that sin is nor how they might know what it
    is nor even that in any case they could
    determine that it had been committed. He merely
    says that there is such a sin, and that he does
    not design that his remark about the efficacy of
    prayer should be understood as extending to
    that."
  • There is such a thing as a sin that is
    inexcusable, note that I did not say
    unforgiveable.
  • For instance, if a man commits a terrible murder,
    do we not, as Christians, advocate the death
    penalty over restoration? Even if the offender is
    a Christian brother, even if he confesses and
    apologizes, even if he is honestly repentant,
    there are certain sins for which no restoration
    is possible. Two years ago I preached a revival
    meeting at the United States Disciplinary
    Barracks in Ft Leavenworth. I was allowed to go
    in to death row and witness to the men there. One
    of those men, I will not give his name here, is
    sentenced to death from throwing a grenade into
    his own tent and killing the soldiers he bunked
    with. All in the name of Allah. He has since
    converted to Jesus Christ and has a sincere
    testimony. Do we release him now because he is a
    believer? No. His sin is of such a character that
    it throws the offender beyond the reach of such
    mercy.

133
Forgiving vs Consequences
  • Matthew 187-9 KJV
  • Woe unto the world because of offences! for it
    must needs be that offences come but woe to that
    man by whom the offence cometh!
  • Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee,
    cut them off, and cast them from thee it is
    better for thee to enter into life halt or
    maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet
    to be cast into everlasting fire.
  • And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and
    cast it from thee it is better for thee to enter
    into life with one eye, rather than having two
    eyes to be cast into hell fire.
  • Once again, the New Testament teaches an extreme
    judgment for offending, especially little ones
    (children - minors).

134
Forgiving vs Consequences
  • Specifically regarding forgiveness, we must make
    a difference between forgiving sin and dismissing
    the consequences of it.
  • If a man is divorced and remarried is he not
    permanently disqualified from the pastorate? It
    is not that we hold ill will against him. It is
    not that we can find no place of service in the
    church for him, on the contrary some of the most
    blessed Christians I have ever known are divorced
    and remarried. They are dear friends and we hold
    no mean spirit toward them. But we still insist
    they may not pastor.
  • King David confessed his sin with Bathsheba, but
    he still suffered the consequences of the act
    through the death of the baby conceived in that
    sin and the dysfunction of his children later on.
  • When he sinned in numbering the men of Israel, he
    confessed the sin, but he must still be judged -
    and the judgment was harsh.

135
Counseling Model
  • Rom 1113
  • For I speak to you Gentiles, inasmuch as I am the
    apostle of the Gentiles, I magnify mine office
    (KJV)
  • These skills will help those who are having
    troubles with marriage, their children, on the
    job.
  • If I were you, I would take these seven things,
  • write them down clearly
  • study them out in light of Scripture, and
  • develop most of my counseling sessions around
    them.

136
Counseling Model
  • Acknowledge Your Place
  • (I want to change)
  • You are Response - Able
  • Too often we want to blame the situations on
    others. The problem with that is that you can
    never solve the situation if you believe it
    someone else's fault.
  • If we will come to the place where we acknowledge
    that we have the ability to change these
    situations ourselves, we take a positive action
    stance and make a difference

137
Counseling Model
  • Acknowledge Your Place
  • We need to take the attitude that we are ABLE to
    respond
  • To change your situation
  • To forgive those of your past
  • To make a difference in the World
  • You Can Change Your Situation
  • By determining what Youd like to be
  • By developing a plan to make it
  • By deciding to do it

138
Counseling Model
  • Affix a Result
  • When I die, I want to people to say ...
  • When I die, I want to have done ....

139
Counseling Model
  • Affix a Result
  • Dream for the future
  • What would you like to accomplish in your church?
  • I used this when people came to me with problems.
  • I would ask, What do want counseling to do?
  • I would ask, What would you want your marriage to
    be like?
  • I would ask, If you could get your kids to behave
    a certain way, how would you want them to behave?

140
Counseling Model
  • Acquire a Plan
  • Priority Plan Matrix
  • Urgent Not Urgent
  • Important Pressing Problems Prevention,
  • Crises Relationships
  • Dead-lines Research Opportunities
    Planning, recreation
  • Not - Interruptions, Trivia,
  • Important Popular activities Busy Work
  • Some calls, mail, Pleasant
  • and meetings activities

141
Counseling Model
  • Acquire a Plan
  • We do best to spend the majority of our time with
    things that are important and not urgent.
  • The reason?
  • Because urgent things demand you do them NOW!
    They drive you.
  • Good leadership requires we learn to drive, not
    be driven.

142
Counseling Model
  • Acquire a Plan
  • Spend almost no time in the not important areas -
    even if they are urgent. DELEGATE THEM.
  • Spend as little time as possible in the
    urgent/important areas

143
Counseling Model
  • Acquire a Plan
  • Many folks become trapped by the
    important/urgent being driven by them to the
    point that, when they get a chance, they escape
    to the not urgent, not important (wasting time
    staring into space, watching TV, playing video
    games) waiting for the next crisis to catch them,
    so they can deal with it.

144
Counseling Model
  • Attempt to Serve Others
  • (I will strive to prefer others better than
    myself)
  • Six ways to relate with people
  • 1. I am happy, you are not
  • 2. You are happy, I am not
  • 3. If I am not happy, you wont be either
  • 4. You do what you want Ill do what I
    want
  • 5. Everybody is happy
  • 6. I cant be happy if you are not happy

145
Counseling Model
  • Apply a Listening Ear
  • (Work at good communication skills)
  • Four types of Communication
  • 1. Reading
  • 2. Writing
  • 3. Listening
  • 4. Speaking
  • Learning to use them well is the most important
    skill in life.

146
Counseling Model
  • Apply a Listening Ear
  • Two rules
  • 1. It is more important to Read, than to write
  • (Reading is where you learn, writing is where you
    try to "learn" others.)
  • 2. It is more important to listen than to speak.
    Reflective listening pg 173
  • (Listening is where you learn, speaking is where
    you attempt to learn others.)

147
Counseling Model
  • Agree to Work together
  • (I want to work together with the members of the
    church as one body)
  • One purpose (Great Commission)
  • One heart (The Love of God)
  • One Mind (The Word of God)
  • One Experience (a Common Salvation and baptism)

148
Counseling Model
  • Admit You Need To Grow
  • 1. Physically
  • Take time to exercise, get physical activity.
  • 2. Intellectually
  • Read and study things that interest you. Learn
    a new skill.
  • 3. Socially
  • Make friends. While your best friends ought to
    be Christians, some of the most stimulating
    people you can be around are professional people.
    (Like our chief of police)
  • 4. Spiritually
  • Church is not something you do because you make
    a living at it. You do it TO WORSHIP THE LORD.
    Never allow yourself to get too busy to have
    devotions and spend quiet time with God!

149
Negative
  • CASE
  • THE REPORT OF THE TEN SPIES,
  • Num 1327-33
  • And they told him, and said, We came unto the
    land whither thou sentest us, and surely it
    floweth with milk and honey and this is the
    fruit of it.
  • Nevertheless the people be strong that dwell in
    the land, and the cities are walled, and very
    great and moreover we saw the children of Anak
    there.
  • The Amalekites dwell in the land of the south
    and the Hittites, and the Jebusites, and the
    Amorites, dwell in the mountains and the
    Canaanites dwell by the sea, and by the coast of
    Jordan.
  • But the men that went up with him said, We be not
    able to go up against the people for they are
    stronger than we.
  • And they brought up an evil report of the land
    which they had searched unto the children of
    Israel, saying, The land, through which we have
    gone to search it, is a land that eateth up the
    inhabitants thereof and all the people that we
    saw in it are men of a great stature.
  • And there we saw the giants, the sons of Anak,
    which come of the giants and we were in our own
    sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their
    sight. (KJV)

150
Negative
  • CASE
  • THE REPORT OF THE TEN SPIES,
  • No doubt about it, the land was a great land.
  • However there were
  • 1. GREAT WALLS,
  • They had never seen walls around cities. They had
    been built for protection and to the spies they
    seemed impenetrable.
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