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Gender and Workplace Communication

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Title: Gender and Workplace Communication


1
Gender and Workplace Communication
  • Total Career Makeover Series
  • Kristina Horn Sheeler, PhD
  • 18 February 2009

2
Todays Objectives
  • Consider the relationship between effective
    workplace communication and worker productivity,
    retention, and overall happiness.
  • Gain an understanding of the different
    communication styles managers may use in the
    workplace and the corresponding value placed on
    each.
  • Learn strategies leading to more effective
    workplace communication between women and men.

3
Communication and the Bottom Line
  • Productivity and Effectiveness
  • Job Retention Rates
  • Cost of replacing worker 150 of salary
  • Happiness and Morale
  • Harassment Issues
  • Worker Injury, Sick Leave, Health Issues
  • Sales, Negotiation, and Customer Service

4
Your Perceptions
  • What are your top three work-related priorities?
  • What do you believe are the top three
    work-related priorities and strengths of the men
    / women with whom you work?
  • What do you believe are the top three priorities
    of your workplace in general?

5
Workplace Values
  • Men
  • Pay and Benefits
  • Achievement and Success
  • Status and Authority
  • Strengths of Men at Work
  • Goal orientation
  • Tangible accomplishments
  • Problem solving
  • Singleness of purpose
  • Responsiveness to challenge

see "Tips for Better Communication Between Men
and Women in the Workplace" by Simma Lieberman
6
Workplace Values
  • Women
  • Friends at Work and Relationships
  • Recognition and Respect
  • Communication and Collaboration
  • Strengths of Women at Work
  • Harmony, balance, nurturance, serenity,
    creativity, vision
  • Teamwork and collaboration
  • Detail oriented

see "Creating Healthy Corporate Cultures for Both
Genders," 2004 study for Lluminari
7
Workplace Values
  • Men more likely to emphasize
  • How much they earn and how much control or power
    they have over what they are doing
  • Women more likely to emphasize
  • The congeniality of coworkers and the
    friendliness and relationships that surround them

8
Who is Leadership Material?
  • How do you define a leader?
  • Which values and strengths identified earlier
    correspond with your view of leadership?
  • Women are at a disadvantage.

9
Women and Leadership
  • 50 of management, professional and related
    occupations
  • 15.6 of Fortune 500 Corporate Officers
  • 14.6 of Fortune 500 Boards of Directors

10
Women and Leadership Dilemmas
  • Extreme Perceptions
  • Too soft or too tough, but never just right
  • My observations show senior women to be at
    either end of the spectrum. Drivers that do it
    themselves this type tends to give little
    recognition and is a perfectionist. The others
    are very effective delegators, giving lots of
    recognition and building loyal teams, but can be
    perceived as not tough enough.
  • (U.S. man, age 35-44, level not specified)
  • Also see Deborah Tannens
  • Talking from 9 to 5.

11
Women and Leadership Dilemmas
  • Higher Competence / Lower Rewards
  • Work harder to achieve the same or less reward or
    recognition
  • Men and women are seen differently, and the
    difference in my experience and observation is
    that we (women) need to show it more times before
    they believe it. With a woman, they will want to
    see the behavior repeated more frequently before
    they will say that this is really part of the
    woman and her capabilities. (European woman,
    high-potential manager)

12
Women and Leadership Dilemmas
  • Competent but Disliked
  • It may just be that people are more sensitive
    to how women behave. There does seem to be a
    little more tolerance for harsh behavior from men
    rather than women. Women are quicker to get
    labeled, and with men, its easier to brush it
    off (High-potential woman, U.S.-based
    manager)I have experienced in the past that
    women can be distrusted in leadership roles,
    especially when they use a dominant style of
    communication. On the contrary, if they use a
    collaborative style serving their organization
    and empowering people, they get more recognition
    and sincere appreciation from their male equals
    (Spanish man, age 31-35, middle management).

13
Communication Styles Report and Rapport
  • Based on what we learned growing up, we were
    socialized to display differences in
  • The purpose of communication
  • How, when, and how long to communicate
  • How to communicate with subordinates, peers, and
    superiors
  • Expectations for communication rituals
  • Communicating about tasks vs. emotions
  • How to process information and make decisions

14
Rapport Style
  • Indirect Style
  • Use of Qualifiers, Succinct style
  • Apologizing
  • Taking Blame
  • Thanks
  • Maintaining an Appearance of Equality,
    Downplaying Qualifications
  • Considering the Other Person, Relationship
  • Downplaying Authority

15
Report Style
  • Direct Requests
  • Longer Talk at Meetings
  • Ritual Fighting, Teasing, Banter
  • Giving Advice to Solve Problems rather than
    Showing Support
  • Mixing Business and Non-business talk
  • Rarely Give Praise or Compliments
  • Avoiding the One-down Position, Downplaying Doubts

16
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17
Report and Rapport at Work Direct Meets Indirect
Style
  • Amy is a manager who just read a report written
    by Donald. The report was inadequate. Amy faced
    the task of telling him to do it over. When they
    met, Amy began by praising Donald, thinking that
    would help soften the blow, and she proceeded to
    tell him about the good things in the report.
    Then she explained what was lacking and what
    needed to be done to make it acceptable. She was
    pleased with the diplomatic way she handled the
    bad news. Thanks to her thoughtfulness, she
    believed, Donald was able to listen to her
    criticism and seemed to understand what was
    needed.
  • All scenarios are taken from Talking from 9 to 5
    by Deborah Tannen or Mars and Venus at Work
    www.marsvenusatwork.com

18
What To Do?
  • Rapport Stylemake sure the other person
    understands your request. Be direct for those who
    understand and need it.
  • Report Styleask for clarification to assure
    understanding of what is necessary and what is
    optional.

19
Coming to Terms with Indirect Requests
  • Maybe it would be a good idea to . . .
  • It would be great if you could . . .
  • Rapport Style Communicators expect these indirect
    suggestions to be followed.

20
Are You Heard at Meetings?
  • Do you use disclaimers Youve probably already
    thought of this but . . .
  • Do you speak at a lower volume?
  • Do you try to be succinct to avoid wasting time
    or the stereotype of talking too much?
  • Reporters generally speak more often and for
    longer periods of time, even on e-mail.

21
Certainty and Confidence
  • Report Style more likely to downplay doubts
  • Rapport Style more likely to downplay certainty

22
Keep in Mind
  • 1) If those comfortable with a rapport style
    conform to the social inhibition against
    boasting, they may appear less confident than
    they really are.
  • 2) Women may modify their speech to take into
    account the impact of what they say on the other
    persons feelings. This is particularly the case
    among Caucasian women.

23
Exerting Influence according to Report or
Rapport Style
  • Rapport Style exerts influence indirectly based
    on the good of the group.
  • Report Style exerts influence by jockeying for
    center stage, challenging those who get it, and
    deflecting challenges. Opinions are stated
    strongly.

24
Considerations
  • Do you downplay your authority while expecting
    others to respect it?
  • Do you take more care not to offend subordinates
    than superiors?
  • Is your concern independence or relationships?
  • Do others respect your authority or do they
    downplay it too?

25
Verbal Opposition
  • An female engineer among a team of men found she
    had to be willing to take her colleagues on in
    animated argument in order to be taken seriously.
    Once she did so, they accepted and respected her.
    For example, while becoming more and more angered
    by one of her teammates who argued against her
    point of view, this women rose to her feet and
    delivered a well-reasoned attack on his position.
    She sat down in a panic, certain she had
    permanently damaged their relationship and
    alienated others. To her surprise, he came up to
    her after the meeting and said, That was a great
    rebuttal. Im really impressed. Lets go out for
    a beer after work and hash out our approaches to
    the problem.

26
Advice
  • Stick to the position, not the relationship
  • Stand up for your position
  • Support with evidence, the facts
  • Be direct
  • Manage emotions
  • Dont apologize

27
Rapport Style Ritual Apology
  • Means of restoring balance
  • May be interpreted as admitting fault
  • May leave you in a one-down position

28
Rapport Style Asking, then Deciding
  • Do you ask others for their opinions before
    making a decision or do you simply assume that
    anyone who disagrees with you will voice his/her
    opinion, so silence is taken as agreement?
  • Asking gets others involved. It can also suggest
    lack of competence.

29
  • More Direct
  • Longer Meeting Talk
  • Task-oriented
  • Independence
  • Sports, Politics Talk
  • Downplay Doubts
  • Verbal Opposition
  • Solve Problems when Something Wrong
  • Independent Decision-maker
  • Less Direct
  • Disclaimers, Succinct Meeting Talk
  • Relationship-oriented
  • Personal Talk
  • Downplay Certainty
  • Ritual Apology
  • Give Praise when Something Right
  • Collaborative Decision-maker

30
Strategies for Communication Success
  • Take these recommendations with a grain of
    salt.
  • Stay aware
  • Be aware of stereotypes
  • Many styles can be effective
  • Styles are strategies

31
Women Neutral Authoritative Style
  • Dont act like a man
  • Be succinct, but not abrupt
  • Avoid tag questions, apologies, disclaimers
  • Take credit
  • Give updates
  • Reduce personal disclosure and problems
  • Handle conflict directly, politely, with empathy

32
Neutral Authoritative Style
  • Make some decisions independently
  • Avoid strong displays of emotion
  • When interrupted, be direct and courteous to take
    back the floor
  • Liking isnt always required to accomplish the
    task
  • Dont get bogged down in details
  • Communicate your vision
  • Be flexible

33
How Can Report Style Communicate with Rapport
Style?
  • Dont Assume Indirect Less Competent
  • Insert a little disclosure when appropriate
  • Maintain direct, but not constant eye contact
  • Say please and thank you once in a while
  • Avoid interrupting, actively listen
  • Offer details more often

34
How Can Report Style Communicate with Rapport
Style?
  • Ask others for input
  • Watch for nonverbal signs
  • Recognize intentions may be different from words
  • Say Im sorry once in a while show empathy
  • Dont underestimate someone who doesnt talk
    about accomplishments
  • Be flexible

35
Conclusions
  • Effective communication impacts the bottom line
  • We all carry our stereotypes and biases into the
    workplace.
  • Understanding is the key
  • Be open to a variety of communication strategies
  • Dont fall into either / or thinking

36
For more information
  • Kristina Horn Sheeler, PhD
  • Associate Professor of Communication Studies
  • IUPUI
  • 317.278.3161
  • ksheeler_at_iupui.edu
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