Negotiation and Conflict Resolution: 10 Tools You Can Use Tomorrow

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Negotiation and Conflict Resolution10 Tools You
Can Use Tomorrow

• TSCPAs Young CPAs and Emerging Professionals
  Conference
• Houston, TX May 22, 2009

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Who should make the first offer?

• Myth
• Science

• You should never make the first offer.
• First offers often serve as anchor points and
  have a .85 correlation with final outcomes.

Galinsky Mussweiler (2001) First offers as
anchors The role of perspective-taking and
negotiator focus, Journal of
Personality and Social Psychology, vol. 81(4)
657-669.
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Who should make the first offer?
Final settlement
First offer
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• Two Questions Higher or lower?

Ariely, D., Lowewenstein, G., Prelec, D. (2003)
Coherent arbitrariness Stable demand curves
without stable preferences, The Quarterly
Journal of Economics, vol. 118(1) 73-105.
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• Two Questions Higher or lower? How much would
  you be willing to pay for this item?

Ariely, D., Lowewenstein, G., Prelec, D. (2003)
Coherent arbitrariness Stable demand curves
without stable preferences, The Quarterly
Journal of Economics, vol. 118(1) 73-105.
6

• Two Questions Higher or lower? How much would
  you be willing to pay for this item?

Ariely, D., Lowewenstein, G., Prelec, D. (2003)
Coherent arbitrariness Stable demand curves
without stable preferences, The Quarterly
Journal of Economics, vol. 118(1) 73-105.
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Who should make the first offer?

• Myth
• Science
• But

• You should never make the first offer.
• First offers often serve as anchor points and
  have a .85 correlation with final outcomes.
• Only open when you have prepared your offer.

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How do concessions work?
Threaten toWalk Away
ExtremeOpening Position
Final Offer
Last Offer
Final Last Offer
Deal (Maybe)
Final Last Offer
Last Offer
Final Offer
ExtremeOpening Position
Threaten toWalk Away
Source Improving Your Companys Return on
Negotiation by CMI/Vantage Partners LLC.
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How do concessions work?
Would you be willing to chaperon a group of
juvenile delinquents on a day trip to the zoo?
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Agreed 2nd Trial
Agreed 1st Trial
Cialdini, et al. (1975) Reciprocal concessions
procedure for inducing compliance The
door-in-theface technique, Journal of
Personality and Social Psychology 31 206-215.
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How do concessions work?

• First RequestWould you be willing to spend two
  hours per week to serve as counselors for
  juvenile delinquents for a minimum of two years?
• Second RequestWell, then would you be willing
  to chaperon a group of juvenile delinquents on a
  day trip to the zoo?

Cialdini, et al. (1975) Reciprocal concessions
procedure for inducing compliance The
door-in-theface technique, Journal of
Personality and Social Psychology 31 206-215.
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• From Chapter 60 of BEN FRANKLIN AMERICAS
  ORIGINAL ENTREPRENEUR
• Not long after the success in establishing the
  hospital, the Rev. Gilbert Tennent approached me
  with another fundraising project. He wished to
  raise money for a new meeting house for a group
  of Presbyterians. I absolutely refused to help
  with the project on the principle that I did not
  wish to anger my fellow citizens by constantly
  asking them for money. Having failed in his first
  request, he then asked if I would simply furnish
  him the names of the generous people who always
  seemed to support the projects I championed. I
  also refused this request as I was unwilling to
  create a beggars market among my kind and
  generous friends. He then asked if I would at
  least give him a bit of advice. That I will
  readily do, I responded.

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Becoming a Master of Persuasion

• Three Proposals
• Challenging
• Reasonable
• Minimal

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Becoming a Master of Persuasion

• Three Proposals
• Challenging
• Reasonable
• Minimal

• Three Proposals
• Will you help me raise money?
• Will you give me the names of generous people?
• Will you at least give me some advice?

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• From Chapter 60 of BEN FRANKLIN AMERICAS
  ORIGINAL ENTREPRENEUR
• I advised him to ask first for money from those
  people whom he was certain would give to his
  cause. Next, approach those people about whom he
  was uncertain and show them the list of people
  who have already given. They might contribute
  once they know who else supports the project.
  Finally, go ahead and ask those people he thinks
  will never give to his project. More than once
  Ive misplaced my certainty and secured a gift
  from someone I knew would reject me.
• The Rev. Tennent laughed heartily and thanked me
  for my counsel. He approached his task according
  to my advice and obtained a much larger sum than
  he ever expected. He used the money to erect the
  elegant and spacious meeting house that still
  stands on Arch Street.

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How do concessions work?
Outrageous
Create Three Proposals
Challenging
Reasonable
Minimal
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How do I inject creativity?

• M
• E
• S
• O

Husted Medvec, V., Leonardelli, G., Galinsky, A.,
Claussen-Schultz, A. (2005) Choice and
achievement at the bargaining table The
distributive, integrative, and interpersonal
advantages of multiple simultaneous equivalent
offers, IACM Annual Conference.
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How do I inject creativity?

• Multiple
• Equivalent
• Simultaneous
• Offers
• THINK Here are 3 things I can say yes to
  today

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How do I inject creativity?

• MESOs
• look more flexible.
• allow you to be an advocate.
• get more agreements and higher satisfaction.
• generally result in better agreements.

Husted Medvec, V., Leonardelli, G., Galinsky, A.,
Claussen-Schultz, A. (2005) Choice and
achievement at the bargaining table The
distributive, integrative, and interpersonal
advantages of multiple simultaneous equivalent
offers, IACM Annual Conference.
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What should happen in the first five minutes?
?10,600
?9,830 Positive Affect
1.0?
1.0?
?0.52 No Affect
?0.29 Positive Affect
0.0?
0.0?
?-0.18 Positive Affect
?8,360 No Affect
?-0.42 No Affect
?8,000
-1.0?
-1.0?
Joint Outcome
Contentious Tactics
Cooperative Moves
P. Carnevale A. Isen (1986) The Influence of
Positive Affect and Visual Access on the
Discovery of Integrative Solutions in Bilateral
Negotiations. Organizational Behavior and Human
Decision Processes, 37(1) 1-13.
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What should happen in the first five minutes?
9,830 points
8,360 points

• No Affect Condition
• More contentious
• Less cooperative
• Smaller joint outcome

• Positive Affect Condition
• Less contentious
• More cooperative
• Larger joint outcome

P. Carnevale A. Isen (1986) The Influence of
Positive Affect and Visual Access on the
Discovery of Integrative Solutions in Bilateral
Negotiations. Organizational Behavior and Human
Decision Processes, 37(1) 1-13.
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Take the Lead with Positive Emotions

• Chance for value creation improves

• Appreciation
• Affiliation
• Autonomy
• Status

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What should happen in the last five minutes?
Redelmeier Kahneman (1996) Patients memories
of painful medical treatments Real-time and
retrospective evaluations of two minimally
invasive procedures, Pain, vol. 116 3-8.
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What should happen in the last five minutes?
No one would deny that it is generally better
for a colonoscopy to be short than to be long. At
least in principle, then, the duration of a
colonoscopy is relevant to its overall utility.
However, memory-based assessments do not
generally conform to this principle.
For example, the colonoscopies studied varied in
duration between 4 and 69 minutes, but the
correlation between the duration of a procedure
and the patients subsequent evaluation of it was
only .03.
The patients' subsequent evaluation of the
procedure was predicted with relatively high
accuracy (r .67) from the average of the most
intense level of pain reported during the
procedure, and of the mean pain level reported
over the last three minutes.
Redelmeier Kahneman (1996) Patients memories
of painful medical treatments Real-time and
retrospective evaluations of two minimally
invasive procedures, Pain, vol. 116 3-8.
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What should happen in the last five minutes?
End on an uptick!
Redelmeier Kahneman (1996) Patients memories
of painful medical treatments Real-time and
retrospective evaluations of two minimally
invasive procedures, Pain, vol. 116 3-8.
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Opening Offer
Generous OpeningConcession
More Stingy Concession
Grudging Final Concession
Gap (No Deal)
Grudging Final Concession
More Stingy Concession
Generous OpeningConcession
Counter Offer
Source Hilty Carnevale (1993) Black hat/white
hat strategy in bilateral negotiation,
Organizational Behavior and Human Decision
Processes, vol. 55(3) 444-469.
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Opening Offer
Small First Concession
Second Concession
Generous Final Concession The Dealmaker
Deal!
Generous Final Concession TheDealmaker
Second Concession
Small First Concession
Counter Offer
Source Hilty Carnevale (1993) Black hat/white
hat strategy in bilateral negotiation,
Organizational Behavior and Human Decision
Processes, vol. 55(3) 444-469.
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Hand Drawing Two Days Later
Pre-instruction Hand Drawing
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Pre-instructionPortrait
Portrait One Year Later
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A Particular Way of Seeing

• Drawing is not really very difficult. Seeing is
  the problem, or, to be more specific, shifting to
  a particular way of seeing.
• Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain
• by Betty Edwards

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Two Naïve Views of Conflict
Talking Will Only MakeThings Worse
Talking Will Always Solve The Problem
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A More Realistic View of Conflict
Resolution
Stalemate
Stalemate
Stalemate
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Whats the best thing I can do at the beginning
of a conflict?

• Researchers Sybil Carrère and John Gottman
  studied 124 married couples for six years in the
  Seattle area. How long did they need to observe
  the couples talking with one another to predict
  divorce rates with 96 accuracy?
• 3 minutes
• 3 hours
• 3 days
• 3 weeks

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Whats the best thing I can do at the beginning
of a conflict?

• Researchers Sybil Carrère and John Gottman
  studied 124 married couples for six years in the
  Seattle area. How long did they need to observe
  the couples talking with one another to predict
  divorce rates with 96 accuracy?
• 3 minutes
• 3 hours
• 3 days
• 3 weeks

Carrere, S. Gottman, J.M. 1999. Predicting
divorce among newlyweds from the first three
minutes of a marital conflict discussion. Family
Process, Vol 38(3) 293-301.
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(No Transcript)
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• What Gottman saw in the first three minutes that
  predicts divorce
• A Harsh Startup the conversation begins with
  critcism, contempt, sarcasm, etc.
• The Four Horsemen explained on the next slide.
  Not always sequential.
• Flooding the other partys negativity causes
  you to react physiologically (increased heart
  rate, blood pressure, hormones, adrenaline, etc.)

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• The most important thing in the first five
  minutes of conflict?
• A soft start-up.

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How can I shift out of the Blame Game?
YOU I wanted to talk to you about my meeting at
ExecuMart. You packed the wrong presentation. The
situation was unbelievably awkward, and made me
look terrible. We simply cant work this
way. ASSISTANT I heard. Im so sorry. I just,
well, you probably dont want to hear my
excuses. YOU I just dont understand how you
could let this happen. ASSISTANT Im really
sorry. YOU I know you didnt do it on purpose,
and I know you feel bad, but I dont want this to
happen again. You understand what Im
saying? ASSISTANT It wont. I promise you.
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YOUR LEGAL STRATEGYNAME The Assistant caused
this.BLAME Judge him negatively.CLAIM Vague
threat of punishment. WHATS HIS SURVIVAL
STRATEGY? 1) Super special apology. 2) Vague
promise about the future.
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How can I shift away from the Blame Game?
The Blame Game
Map the Contribution System
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Mapping the Contribution System

• Most problems in business, relationships, and
  home life have contributions from everyone
  involved, and fixing them means understanding
  what you each did that needs to change in the
  future. (Sheila Heen, Difficult Conversations)
• What have I contributed?
• What have they contributed?
• Is anyone else involved?

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Whats the best way to say No and still
preserve the relationship?

• The No Sandwich
• Think Yes-No-Yes
• AFFIRM Thank them for the invitation/opportunity
• REFUSE Decline to participate
• AFFIRM Affirm the relationship and future
  invitations (without saying yes to a
  future request!)

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What about complex, emotional conflicts?
Who controls process?
Who controls outcomes?
More Control
Negotiation
Parties
Parties
Mediation
Parties Mediator
Parties
Arbitration
Arbitrator Parties
Arbitrator
Less Control
Litigation
Court/Legislature
Judge/Jury
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How To Make A Request

• As long as you are reasonable and do it with a
  smile, you can ask for just about anything.

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When Making A Request
Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the
Xerox machine?
Percentage of Compliance with Request
Langer, Blank, Chanowitz (1978) The
mindlessness of ostensibly thoughtful action The
role ofplacebic information in interpersonal
interaction, Psychological Bulletin 36(6)
635-642.
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When Making A Request
Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the
Xerox machine?
60
Percentage of Compliance with Request
Langer, Blank, Chanowitz (1978) The
mindlessness of ostensibly thoughtful action The
role ofplacebic information in interpersonal
interaction, Psychological Bulletin 36(6)
635-642.
46
When Making A Request
Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the
Xerox machine because Im in a rush?
60
Percentage of Compliance with Request
Langer, Blank, Chanowitz (1978) The
mindlessness of ostensibly thoughtful action The
role ofplacebic information in interpersonal
interaction, Psychological Bulletin 36(6)
635-642.
47
When Making A Request
Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the
Xerox machine because Im in a rush?
94
60
Percentage of Compliance with Request
Langer, Blank, Chanowitz (1978) The
mindlessness of ostensibly thoughtful action The
role ofplacebic information in interpersonal
interaction, Psychological Bulletin 36(6)
635-642.
48
When Making A Request
Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the
Xerox machine because I have to make some
copies?
94
60
Percentage of Compliance with Request
Langer, Blank, Chanowitz (1978) The
mindlessness of ostensibly thoughtful action The
role ofplacebic information in interpersonal
interaction, Psychological Bulletin 36(6)
635-642.
49
When Making A Request
Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the
Xerox machine because I have to make some
copies?
94
93
60
Percentage of Compliance with Request
Langer, Blank, Chanowitz (1978) The
mindlessness of ostensibly thoughtful action The
role ofplacebic information in interpersonal
interaction, Psychological Bulletin 36(6)
635-642.
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When Making A Request

• Your request should
• Be a question (not a command)
• Use the word because
• (NOTE If senseless reasons get these results,
  think how much better a good reason will work.)