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Childrens grief

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Between 4-7 years. Around 7-10. Adolescence. Other factors ... Research shows.. How do children express themselves. So how do we talk to children about death? ... – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: Childrens grief


1
Childrens grief
  • Cay Camden
  • Senior Social Worker
  • Bereavement Program Coordinator
  • The Childrens Hospital at Westmead
  • Primary School Counsellor/ North Shore Cluster

2
3 Questions
  • What does a child need to know?
  • What does a child want to know?
  • What can a child understand?

3
Talking to Children about Death
  • Developmental Perspectives
  • Other factors beyond age
  • Childrens views on death
  • Our language and responses
  • What worries children most?
  • Protecting behaviour
  • How can parents help
  • Light bulbs for all of us caring for children

4
Developmental Lines
  • 2-4 years
  • Between 4-7 years
  • Around 7-10
  • Adolescence

5
Other factors
  • Emotional level of understanding
  • Cognitive level of understanding
  • Verbal ability
  • Experiences
  • Religious beliefs
  • Cultural background

6
Childrens views on death
  • Research shows..
  • How do children express themselves
  • So how do we talk to children about death?

7
A Childs worries about their parents
  • My parents seem different
  • Will mum and dad be able to handle it?

8
Protecting parents
  • They may try to help more
  • May try to not cause more pain
  • May not share feelings
  • May just keep quiet!

9
Parents can help
  • Play
  • Use creativity
  • Music
  • Storytelling/reading
  • Writing
  • Creative expression

10
Light bulbs
  • Listen
  • Cues
  • They know
  • Children change
  • Floating
  • Safety and security
  • Protect
  • Denial or mutual pretence serves both the child
    and parent during the course of the illness

11
Light bulbs
  • Trigger points
  • Fishing
  • Confirm what they say and ask
  • Use age-appropriate terminology
  • Reactions are also age-appropriate
  • Respond
  • What do they understand
  • The childs needs are not our needs

12
Strategies for parents
  • Plan ahead
  • Trust yourself
  • Express yourself
  • Find yourself
  • Link up
  • Express alternative ways
  • Keep an open mind
  • Learn to laugh again, its ok

13
References
  • Andrews Funeral Services 2005
  • Bluebond-Langner, Myra 2005
  • Griefworks BC. Children, Teens and Grief, 2004
  • Zagdanski, Doris Now That the Funeral is Over,
    2001
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