50 Minutes to CALM

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50 Minutes to CALM (Career and Life Management)
A Systems Approach To Stress and Work Life
Balance
John C Goodman Founder, Center for Internal Change
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What You Will Learn Today

• To view stress and life balance from a systems
  perspective
• How areas of stress in your life impact your
  internal systems
• How stress impacts other areas and people in your
  life
• How stress impacts areas and people in their
  lives
• And how stress impacts areas and people
• How to reframe stress creating beliefs
• How to gain control over negative stress by
  replacing it with a state of CALM

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What is Stress?

• Stress is the bodys response to the demands made
  upon it.
• The degree of stress depends on the intensity of
  the demand, our interpretation of the demand, and
  cope ability to cope with them.
• Pressure, strain, or a sense of inner turmoil
  resulting from our perceptions and reactions to
  events or conditions. A state of negative
  emotional arousal, usually associated with
  feelings of discomfort or anxiety that we
  attribute to our circumstances or situation.
• Stress is our perception of an event, not the
  event itself.

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Relax! It Is Just Stress

• Scientific research is continuously revealing the
  damaging effects negative stress has on our lives.

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Some symptoms of stress
Headache Tension Backache Irregular breathing Palpitations Breathlessness Restlessness Fidgeting Facial tics Dry mouth Misjudging people Misjudging situations Inaccuracy Anxiety Higher vocal tone Worrying excessively Lack of sense of humor Withdrawal Cold hands/feet Skin problems Ulcers Forgetfulness Memory problems Inability to absorb information Lack of co-ordination Indecisiveness Phobias Panic Panic attacks Paranoia Aggression Cynicism Guilt Anger Depression Mood swings Tearfulness Nightmares Rash decision making Disorganization Frequent mistakes Sweating Shakiness Dizziness Exhaustion/M.E. Stomach ache Indigestion Lack of concentration Nausea Loss of appetite Diarrhea Insomnia
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• These are the minor symptoms of stress some of
  the more serious include total nervous breakdown,
  heart attack and stroke.

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Stress Is Life. Life is Stress

• Stress is a necessary part of our life.
• Stress can be motivating or immobilizing.
• Most people are either
• Generous with their stress
• Or they are stingy
• Or both
• So . . .

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DONT PANIC!!!
Relax
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Time Out For CALM Breathing
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The Systemic View of Stress

• We are affected by everything that interacts with
  us in our environment

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The Systemic View of Stress
The Systemic View of Stress

• We affect everything in our environment

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The Systemic View of Stress
The Systemic View of Stress

• Stress can be externally or internally triggered

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The Systemic View of Stress
The Systemic View of Stress

• BUT, it is only internally generated

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A Systemic View of The Self
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Circles Of Influence
Work
Relationships
Self
Social
Family
Spiritual
Environment
Beyond Environment
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The Causes Of Career and Life Stress

• What are your Energy Drainer and what are Energy
  Gainers
• Examine the causes and cures for stress in our
  life

Family
Money
Career
Self
Health
Relationships
Social
Mental
Spiritual
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Creating CALM Life BalanceEnergy Drainers
Over working Fear of downsizing
Unemployed Inadequate compensation/rewards
No time for family Poor Communicating
Family
Money
Problems
Isolation
Career
No Exercise No physical Activity Not Eating
Healthy Not Enough Sleep To busy to relaxation
No time for loved ones and those you care about
Self
Health
Relationships
Social
Social Isolation and no time for social activities
Mental
Spiritual
No time for yourself
No Spiritual or Religious Practice
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Creating CALM Life BalanceEnergy Gainers

• Neutralize and/or turn Energy Drainers into
  Energy Gainers
• Cultivate Energy Gainers to offset, minimize and
  balance
• your Energy Drainers

Work you value, feel valued doing, and are
passionate about
Earning Enough
Spending time with family Sharing Communicating
Family
Money
Financial Planning
Career
Exercise Yoga Eat Healthy Get Enough
Sleep Relaxation Take Time For Fun
Making time for loved ones and those you care
about
Self
Health
Relationships
Social
Friends Volunteer Work Functions
Mental
Spiritual
Meditation
Spiritual Religious Practice
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We Experience Stress on Different Levels

• Changing the level at which we experience
• stress can change the impact of stress on use
• Identity
• Beliefs and Values
• Capacity/Ability
• Behavior
• Environment

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Data Processing
F I L T E R S Senses Emotions
Output Behavior Actions
Input Information Data
Process Values Beliefs Thoughts
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Logical Levels Environment

• What external events trigger your
  feelings/reactions of stress?
• Do you have control over these events?
• If you dont have control or influence over these
  situations then all the worry, fear, and anxiety
  in the world will not change them. You need to
  redirect that energy into something you do have
  control over, like your perception and reaction
  to the events.
• What resources does your environment offer to
  deal with stress? Knowing what options are
  available can be very empowering and create a
  sense of control.

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Logical Levels Behavior

• What Do You Do
• How do you create your experience of negative
  stress? Examine your actions, behaviors, and
  feelings. Are your behaviors allowing you to meet
  your goals. Do they match your intentions?
• Having someone point them out to you may help.
• Notice the feedback your body offers you (true
  biofeedback).
• Remember, the more flexibility you have, the more
  options there are and the more control you have.

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Logical Levels Capability

• Honestly appraise your abilities and capabilities
  and use them to your advantage
• Leverage your abilities and delegate your
  weaknesses

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Logical Levels BELIEFS AND VALUES

• What You Think
• Our beliefs, values and assumptions determine
  what causes us stress. This is why one person
  will feel overwhelmed while another will feel
  challenged.
• Our beliefs influence our behaviors/actions and
  our identity/self. They are the lens and filters
  that color our world, magnify, minimize, or
  eliminate certain observations or information in
  our world. We distort reality to fit our belief
  system. Examples of distorted thought patterns
  include over generalizing a single incident and
  assuming it will always happen or be true,
  thinking in extremes all or nothing thinking, or
  over personalizing things, to name but a few.
• Beliefs that increase your sense of control
  reduce stress.
• If we change our beliefs our behaviors will
  change too.

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Logical Levels IDENTITY

• Who You Are
• Stress is a combination of emotions, beliefs,
  behaviors, and physical reactions. It is not who
  you are!
• Notice how it feels when you say I am stressed
  out, I am overwhelmed, I am depressed, Now
  change I am to I feel. It feels different
  doesnt it?
• I am makes it part of your identity. I feel
  keeps it on a behavioral level. When we think and
  speak on an identity level we become what we say.
  We tend to create self-fulfilling prophecies.
  Keeping these messages on a feeling level
  provides distance from Then. It is easier to
  change behaviors than identity.

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CALM Color

• Recall a time or place when you felt calm,
  relaxed, empowered or in control. If you have
  difficulty finding it in your past then create
  this place in your mind.
• Notice is it in color or black white what
  happens when you move it closer or further away
  make it brighter, bigger, or more vivid.
  Experiment until you have created an optimal
  feeling. What happens when you double the
  feeling?
• Now imagine if this image was a color what color
  would it be? Does this color have a texture or
  temperature?
• Surround yourself with this color and have the
  color circulate through every part of your body,
  both inside and out.
• Some people inhale the color, others bring it in
  through their chest, head or feet, others
  generate it from the inside outit is all perfect
• Some people find it more effective to use a
  sound, music or a song. They feel it resonating
  through out their body.
• The CALM Color is yours to keep and use as you
  wish.

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Heart-Based Calm

• When youre aware of feeling negative stress STOP
  and take a time out.
• Redirect your focus away from your emotional
  state and racing thoughts to your heart.
• Pretend you are breathing through your chest into
  your heart area and take several slow calm
  breaths.
• Recall a positive time when you felt love,
  appreciation, or were having fun and vividly
  reexperience it.
• Ask your heart for a more resourceful response to
  the event, a calm and effective alternative.
• Be fully open to your intuition, subconscious
  mind and your common sense.
• Listen to the answer you heart gives you.

Based on the FREEZE-FRAME Technique developed by
Doc Childre and the Institute of HeartMath
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The Systemic View of Stress

• We are influenced by everything that interacts
  with us in our environment
• We have influence on everything in our
  environment
• Stress can be externally or internally triggered
• BUT, it is only internally generated

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The Take Away

• A systematic understanding of stress and how it
  impacts you and others in your system.
• Tools and techniques to reduce and control stress
  and distress.
• Strategies for restoring balance in your day and
  in your life. 

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Resources for Stress Management Life Balance

•  You may enjoy these web sites if you need a
  break, time-out, or are just interested in
  relaxation.
•  
• Information and articles on stress management.
  http//www.internalchange.com/tools/stress.html
• Article by Andrew Weil on Relaxation Breathing.
  http//www.drweil.com/database/display/0,1412,100,
  00.html
• A page with some fun escapes if you need a
  distress brake. http//www.internalchange.com/dest
  ress/index.html
• If you just want to zone out for a while.
  http//www.internalchange.com/tools/your_heading_g
  oes_here1.htm
• Relaxation and breathing techniques.
  http//www.internalchange.com/tools/relaxation.htm
  l
• You can learn about the Heartmath Institute and
  the Freeze Frame technique. http//www.heartmath.c
  om
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• Books of interest
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• Carlson, R. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...And
  It's All Small Stuff. New York Hyperion, 1997
• Carlson, R. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at
  Work Simple Ways to Minimize Stress and Conflict
  While Bringing Out the Best in Yourself and
  Others. New York Hyperion, 1998
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• Kabat-Zinn, J.  Full Catastrophe Living Using
  the Wisdom of Your Body Mind to Face Stress,
  Pain Illness. Jon Foreword by Joan Borysenko
  Preface by Thich Nhat Hanh. New York Dell
  Publishing, 1991
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• Benson, H. The Relaxation Response New York
  Morrow, William Co,2000
• Childre D. Martin, H. The Heartmath
  Solution The Institute of Heartmath's
  Revolutionary Program for Engaging the Power of
  the Heart's Intelligence. San Francisco Harper,
  2000

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50 Minutes to CALM (Career and Life Management)
Please feel free to contact me with any questions
or to find out about coaching, training and
consulting for you or your organization
at changenow_at_internalchange.com Visit
www.internalchange.com
John C Goodman Principal, Center for Internal
Change