The Challenge: To Create More Value in All Negotiations

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Excellence. Always. Hard is Soft. Soft is
Hard. The small courtesies. Competitive
Advantage 1. Tom Peters 25 November
2009 (Annotated)
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Courtesies of a small and trivial character are
the ones which strike deepest in the grateful and
appreciating heart. Henry Clay
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New book due in February. The Little BIG Things.
Toughest part of writing is choosing the
epigraph. This is it. Perfect by my lights. What
follows is a straightforward explication of Mr.
Clays words.
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1
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The doctor interrupts after Source
Jerome Groopman, How Doctors Think
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Keep this in mind.
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2
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MBWA
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Discovered this at HP in 1978 Managing By
Wandering Around. A good idea. But more than
that, a metaphor for staying in touchtough for
a boss, particularly as she goes up the
hierarchy.
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Sunday Drive By The CEO of a very successful
mid-sized bank, in the Mid-west, attended a
seminar of mine in Northern California in the
mid-80sbut I remember the following as if it
were yesterday. Ive forgotten the specific
context, but I recall him saying to me, pretty
much word for word, Tom let me tell you the
definition of a good lending officer. After
church on Sunday, on the way home with his
family, he takes a little detour to drive by the
factory he just lent money to. Doesnt go in or
any such thing, just drives by and takes a look.
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Explains a lot of the sub-prime crisis. No
MBWA.
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3
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Hard Is SoftSoft Is Hard
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The signature of In Search of Excellence. See
the next slide for a shorthand explanation.
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Hard Is Soft (Plans, s)Soft Is Hard (people,
customers, values, relationships)
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!!!
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4
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The doctor interrupts after Source
Jerome Groopman, How Doctors Think
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The patient is the best source of information.
Sooo
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18 seconds
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Shame on docs. True enough. But most managers are
equally indictable on this charge!!! Are you an
18-second manager? Id put money on it in 5
cases out of 7.
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An obsession with Listening is ... the ultimate
mark of Respect. Listening is ... the heart and
soul of Engagement. Listening is ... the heart
and soul of Kindness. Listening is ... the heart
and soul of Thoughtfulness. Listening is ... the
basis for true Collaboration. Listening is ...
the basis for true Partnership. Listening is ...
a Team Sport. Listening is ... a Developable
Individual Skill. (Though women are far better
at it than men.) Listening is ... the basis for
Community. Listening is ... the bedrock of Joint
Ventures that work. Listening is ... the bedrock
of Joint Ventures that last. Listening is ... the
core of effective Cross-functional
Communication (Which is
in turn Attribute 1 of organizational
effectiveness.) Listening is ... the engine of
superior EXECUTION. Listening is ... the key to
making the Sale. Listening is ... the key to
Keeping the Customers Business. Listening is ...
the engine of Network development. Listening is
... the engine of Network maintenance. Listening
is ... the engine of Network expansion. Listening
is ... Learning. Listening is ...the sine qua non
of Renewal. Listening is ...the sine qua non of
Creativity. Listening is ...the sine qua non of
Innovation. Listening is ... the core of taking
Diverse opinions aboard. Listening is ...
Strategy. Listening is ... Source 1 of
Value-added. Listening is ... Differentiator
1. Listening is ... Profitable.
(The R.O.I. from listening is higher
than from any other single activity.) Listening
underpins ... Commitment to EXCELLENCE
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The power of listening is limitless. Readand
ponderthis list very carefully.
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An obsession with Listening is ... the ultimate
mark
of Respect. Listening is ... the
heart and soul of Engagement. Listening is ...
the heart and soul of Kindness. Listening is ...
the heart and soul of Thoughtfulness. Listening
is ... the basis for true Collaboration. Listening
is ... the basis for true Partnership. Listening
is ... a Team Sport. Listening is ... a
Developable Individual Skill. (Though women
are far better at it
than men.) Listening is ... the basis for
Community. Listening is ... the bedrock of Joint
Ventures that work. Listening is ... the bedrock
of Joint Ventures that last. Listening is ... the
core of effective Cross-functional
Communication (Which is in turn
Attribute 1 of
organizational effectiveness.) cont.
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Listening is ... the engine of superior
EXECUTION. Listening is ... the key to making the
Sale. Listening is ... the key to Keeping the
Customers Business. Listening is ... the engine
of Network development. Listening is ... the
engine of Network maintenance. Listening is ...
the engine of Network expansion. Listening is ...
Social Networkings secret weapon. Listening is
... Learning. Listening is ... the sine qua non
of Renewal. Listening is ... the sine qua non of
Creativity. Listening is ... the sine qua non of
Innovation. Listening is ... the core of taking
Diverse opinions aboard. Listening is ...
Strategy. Listening is ... Source 1 of
Value-added. Listening is ... Differentiator
1. Listening is ... Profitable. (The R.O.I.
from listening is higher than
from any other single
activity.) Listening is the bedrock which
underpins a Commitment to
EXCELLENCE
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Listening is of the utmost strategic
importance!Listening is a proper core
value ! Listening is trainable !
Listening is a profession !
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This is not just an exhortation, Hey, listen.
Im suggesting that listening become a
pre-occupation. That it be no less than the
whole-damn-organizations trademark.
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Listen Profession Study practice
evaluation Enterprise value
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Listen!
Listening Leaders The Ten Golden Rules To
Listen, Lead SucceedLyman Steil and Richard
Bommelje The Zen of ListeningRebecca Shafir
Effective Listening SkillsDennis Kratz and
Abby Robinson Kratz Are You Really
Listening?Paul Donoghue and Mary Siegel
Active Listening Improve Your Ability to Listen
and LeadMichael Hoppe Listening The
Forgotten Skill Madelyn Burley-Allen
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Yes you can! That is, you can study this stuff.
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4A
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Message Listening is a profession!
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Just like becoming a professional musician. Or a
neurosurgeon.
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4B
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Listen Profession Study practice
evaluation Enterprise value "We listen
intently to and fully engage all with whom we
work."
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Core value 1. No kidding.
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4C
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You can make more friends in two months by
becoming interested in other people than you can
in two years by trying to get other people
interested in you. Dale Carnegie
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Another key byproduct of listening-engaging.
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4D
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The capacity to develop close and enduring
relationships is the mark of a leader.
Unfortunately, many leaders of major companies
believe their job is to create the strategy,
organization structure and organizational
processesthen they just delegate the work to be
done, remaining aloof from the people doing the
work. Bill George, Authentic Leadership
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Listening. The key to/cornerstone of every
relationship. Superior relationships the key
to, literally, everything!
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Allied commands depend on mutual confidence
and this confidence is gained, above all
through the development of friendships.
General D.D. Eisenhower, Armchair General
(05.08)Perhaps his most outstanding ability
at West Point was the ease with which he made
friends and earned the trust of fellow cadets who
came from widely varied backgrounds it was a
quality that would pay great dividends during
his future coalition command
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Listening In effect, Eisenhowers principal
weapon as coalition leader.
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R.O.I.R.
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Return On Investment In Relationships
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The idea here is to think directly about your
investment in relationship building and
maintenance.
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4E
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The Real Worlds Little Rule Book Ben/tea Norm
/tea DDE/make friends WFBuckley/make friends-help
friends Gust/Suck down Charlie/poker
pal-BOF Edward VII/dance-flatter-mingle-learn the
language Vladimir Putin/birthday party of
outgroup guys wife CIO/finance network ERP
installer/consult-one line of code GE
Energy/make friends risk assessment GWB/check the
invitation list GHWB/T-notes Hank/60
calls MarkM/5K-5M Delaware/show up Oppy/snub
Lewis Strauss NM/smile -4.3T/tin ear tp.com/Big
4-What do you think? Women/genes Banker/after
church Total Bloody Mess/Can they pay back the
loan?
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No detailed explanation forthcoming. Sorry. It
is, in full, a series of stories of little
relationship thingsthat literally changed the
world. E.g., a whirlwind 96-hour social visit
to Paris by King Edward VII which paved the way
to a British-French entente which determined the
outcome of World War I.
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4F
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if you dont listen, you dont sell
anything. Carolyn Marland
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!!! (So true.)
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4G
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Questioning, the art and profession of.
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Listenings corollary the Art Practice of
Asking.
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Ask!
Leading with Questions How Leaders Find the
Right Solutions by Knowing What to Ask
Michael Marquardt Smart Questions Learn to
Ask the Right Questions for Powerful Results
Gerald Nadler and William Chandon The Art of
Asking Ask Better Questions, Get Better
AnswersTerry Fadem How to Ask Great Questions
Karen Lee-Thorp Change Your Questions,
Change Your LifeMarilee Adams Asking the
Right Questions A Guide to Critical
ThinkingNeil Browne and Stuart Keeley
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Again Can be studied.
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Listen! Ask! Listening Leaders The Ten Golden
Rules To Listen, Lead Succeed Lyman Steil
and Richard Bommelje The Zen of
ListeningRebecca Shafir Effective Listening
SkillsDennis Kratz and Abby Robinson Kratz Are
You Really Listening?Paul Donoghue and Mary
Siegel Active Listening Improve Your Ability
to Listen and Lead Michael Hoppe Listening
The Forgotten SkillMadelyn Burley-Allen
Leading with Questions How Leaders Find the
Right Solutions by Knowing What to AskMichael
Marquardt Smart Questions Learn to Ask the
Right Questions for Powerful ResultsGerald
Nadler and William Chandon The Art of Asking
Ask Better Questions, Get Better Answers
Terry Fadem How to Ask Great QuestionsKaren
Lee-Thorp Change Your Questions, Change Your
LifeMarilee Adams Asking the Right Questions
A Guide to Critical ThinkingNeil Browne and
Stuart Keeley
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5
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The four most important words in any
organization are
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Ta da
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The four most important words in any
organization are What do you think?
Source courtesy Dave Wheeler, posted at
tompeters.com
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WDYT Certification of me as a person of
Importance whose opinion is valued.
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Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig deal.
(Remember, The Little BIG Things.)
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Tomorrow How many times will you ask the WDYT
question? Count! Practice makes better!
This is a STRATEGIC skill!
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Not to be left to chance. Yup can be MEASURED.
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5A
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From Enemy/Reluctant User to Champion/Savior/Owner
The one line of code! Axiom
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Ask my opinion of a system revision. I give you
an earful. You go back and make a couple of tiny
changes a line of code to accommodate me. Now
I own the thingand become a champion rather
than a resistor. More or less ... GUARANTEED to
work.
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The deepest human need is the need to be
appreciated.William James
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Once again. ALL POWERFUL. (And usually neglected
or half-hearted.)
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Thank you lingers on 10 years
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3M exec retires. At going away party, someone
comes up to him, very emotional, to thank the
exec for a thank you note hed sent 10 years ago.
(Ive got a ton of similar stories.)
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Tomorrow How many times will you mange to blurt
out, Thank you? Count em! Practice makes
better! The engineer from Manchester. This
is a STRATEGIC skill!
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Not a casual idea. Measure it.
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appreciation is of the utmost strategic
importance!appreciation is a proper core
value ! appreciation is trainable !
appreciation is a profession !
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One more time. A topic worthy of serious
professional study.
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And the answer is . otis
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Teacher gives a science exam. Students
preppedknow whats coming. Quiet in the room.
Then din. Students complaining. Will the last
question count? Teacher Most definitely. And
the last question is What is the first name of
the person who cleans the room after class?
(Hint Otis.)Teacher As you go forward in
life, you will meet many people. All of them are
important. Each one deserves your attention and
respect Source Deborah Norville, The Power
of Respect.
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• It was much later that I realized Dads secret.
  He gained respect by giving it. He talked and
  listened to the fourth-grade kids in Spring
  Valley who shined shoes the same way he talked
  and listened to a bishop or a college president.
  He was seriously interested in who you were and
  what you had to say.
• Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot, Respect

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Self explanatory. Usually honored in the breach.
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7
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It helps to know people in high places!
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Conventional wisdom. Not silly
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It helps more to know people in Low
places!
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My wisdom. Low is where the real work is
done.
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???????Success doesnt depend on the number of
people you know it depends on the number of
people you know in high places!or Success
doesnt depend on the number of people you know
it depends on the number of people you know in
low places!
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TP on Charlie Wilsons War, by George Crile Make
friends by the bushel with those several levels
down and with various disenfranchised groups.
Gust Avrakotos strategy He had become
something of a legend with these people who
manned the underbelly of the Agency CIA. Eg,
Gust apparently knew every executive secretary by
nameand had helped many of them out with
personal or professional problems. You could
almost say he had the invisible 95 of the
Agency working for him which allowed him to make
incredible things happen despite furious
resistance from the top of a very rigid
organization. I have spoken and Blogged on this
topic before, arguing among other things that the
key to sales success is wiring the client
organization 3 or 4 levels downwhere the real
work gets done. Most would agree perhapsbut damn
few make it the obsession it needs to be to
foster success. One added (big) benefit is that
those folks are seldom recognized, and thence
the investment will likely yield long-lasting,
not transient, rewards.
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The CIA go-to guy in Charlie Wilsons War was a
middle managerbut he was able to work miracles
in a rigid institution because of his tight and
extensive relationships with the organizations
underbelly.
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Loser Hes such a suck-up!Winner
Hes such a suck-down.
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Maximizing friends in low places is a winning
strategy.
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C(I)gtC(E)
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Internal customers C(I) often more important
than external customers C(E). If your whole
organization is at your beck and call, you can
repeatedly work miracles for the external
customer. If your internal customers are peeved
at you, they can torpedo your work with your
outside customers in a gazillion (or more) ways.
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Suck down for success!
He Gust Avrakotos had become something of a
legend with these people who manned the
underbelly of the Agency CIA, from Charlie
Wilsons War Getting to know the risk guys
GE Power Spend less time with your
customer! C(I) gt C(E) The ATT
systems sales exec
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An ATT systems sales exec started me down this
path.
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I regard apologizing as the most magical,
healing, restorative gesture human beings can
make. It is the centerpiece of my work with
executives who want to get better. Marshall
Goldsmith, What Got You Here Wont Get You
There How Successful People Become Even More
Successful
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most magical, healing, restorative gesture
human beings can make. Talk about strong
language! And Goldsmith is the unquestioned 1
executive coachi.e., worth paying attention to.
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pause
102
I regard apologizing as the most magical,
healing, restorative gesture human beings can
make. It is the centerpiece of my work with
executives who want to get better. Marshall
Goldsmith, What Got You Here Wont Get You
There How Successful People Become Even More
Successful
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Worth re-reading.
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Relationships (of all varieties) THERE ONCE WAS
A TIME WHEN A THREE-MINUTE PHONE CALL WOULD HAVE
AVOIDED SETTING OFF THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL THAT
RESULTED IN A COMPLETE RUPTURE.

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I believe this is true 100 of the time. Most of
my personal and professional disasters could
clearly have been reversed or ameliorated with
such a call.
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The three-minute call often-usually-invariably
leads to a strengthening of the relationship. It
not only acts as atonement but also paves the
path for a better than ever trajectory.

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THE PROBLEM IS RARELY/NEVER THE PROBLEM. THE
RESPONSE TO THE PROBLEM INVARIABLY ENDS UP BEING
THE REAL PROBLEM. PERCEPTION IS ALL THERE IS!

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Think Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton, Martha
Stewart. None, and a host like them, ever got in
trouble for the act itselfbut instead for the
cover-up.
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pause
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THE PROBLEM IS RARELY/NEVER THE PROBLEM. THE
RESPONSE TO THE PROBLEM INVARIABLY ENDS UP BEING
THE REAL PROBLEM. PERCEPTION IS ALL THERE IS!

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Yup another one worth re-reading immediately.
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Potlatch.
113
Potlatch is the ritual of overwhelming one with
gifts to the point at which one is paralyzed. Im
not quite suggesting that, but I am simply saying
that an overwhelming-disproportionate-asymmet
ric response to a screw-up is more or less
ALWAYS warranted. (FYI Also central to this
idea is a culture that encourages timely
truth-telling around screw-ups.)
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Shit happens. Be prepared.
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Potlatch-plus. Shit happensto the best of us.
Have slack resources ready to react to problems
before they occur.
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effective Repair/Apology is of the utmost
strategic importance!effective repair is a
proper core value ! effective repair
is trainable ! effective repair is a
profession !
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Once more a craft a profession a trait
worthy of study.
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8A
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Comeback big, quick response gtgt Perfection
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Human irrationality at its best Addressing a
screw-up brilliantly may well result in a
stronger relationship than one marked by flawless
delivery but no tests of response to adversity.
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Acquire vs maintain 5X Recession goal Higher
market share current customers
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The economics are clear. It costs far, far more
to dig up a new customer than to maintain a
current relationshiphence justification for
spending lavishly to patch a pothole to keep a
current customer happy or regain her or his
confidence.
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8B
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One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life
is to forgive everybody of everything every night
right before going to bed. Bernard Baruch
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Carrying grudges has high personal costs (wear
and tear on the psyche), and high professional
costs in the latter case, the damage that can be
done by even weak enemies is immeasurable! So If
youre wise youll forgive and move on.
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9
127
Enterprise Value We are thoughtful in all we
do.
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I have come to love the word thoughtful.
Especially in difficult times. It is a way to
live in the worldand I firmly believe it can
contribute directly to the bottom line. It is a
matter of trust and character and courtesyall
three pay big dividends. (Not to mention the fact
that thoughtfulness results in a more attractive
image when one looks in the mirror or discusses
what one does with our children.)
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Thoughtfulness is key to customer
retention. Thoughtfulness is key to employee
recruitment and satisfaction. Thoughtfulness
is key to brand perception. Thoughtfulness is key
to your ability to look in the mirror and tell
your kids about your job. Thoughtfulness is
free. Thoughtfulness is key to speeding things
up it reduces friction. Thoughtfulness is key
to transparency and even cost containmentit
abets rather than stifles truth-telling.
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This I believe.
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Thoughtfulness is of the utmost strategic
importance!thoughtfulness is a proper
core value ! Thoughtfulness is
trainable ! Thoughtfulness is a profession
!
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One more time.
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9A
134
none!
135
Press Ganey Assoc 139,380 former patients from
225 hospitalsnone of THE top 15 factors
determining Patient Satisfaction referred to
the patients health outcomeP.S. directly
related to Staff InteractionP.S. directly
correlated with Employee Satisfaction Source
Putting Patients First, Susan Frampton, Laura
Gilpin, Patrick Charmel
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Stunning. Patient satisfaction is almost
exclusively related to the quality of
interactions with hospital staffwhich in turn is
primarily caused by the quality of staffers
interactions with one another.
137
There is a misconception that supportive
interactions require more staff or more time and
are therefore more costly. Although labor costs
are a substantial part of any hospital budget,
the interactions themselves add nothing to the
budget. Kindness is free. Listening to patients
or answering their questions costs nothing. It
can be argued that negative interactionsalienatin
g patients, being non-responsive to their needs
or limiting their sense of controlcan be very
costly. Angry, frustrated or frightened
patients may be combative, withdrawn and less
cooperativerequiring far more time than it
would have taken to interact with them initially
in a positive way. Putting Patients First,
Susan Frampton, Laura Gilpin, Patrick Charmel
138
Be kind.Have happy patients.Save .Grow
market share.(Griffin Hospital, Planetree
Alliance.)
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Kindness is free.
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10
141
The Eight Courtesies 1. Stay in
touch. (MBWA.) 2. Invest in relationships. (Make
friends. Obsess.) 3. Listen. (Respect.
Learn. Student. PROFESSIONAL. Sustainable
Competitive Advantage 1) 4. Ask (Engage.
Inspire. Consult. React.)5. Thank (Appreciate.
Acknowledge.)6. Network. (Suck down.
C(I)gtC(E).) 7. Apologize (Unequivocal. Rectify.
Over-react. Forgive. ) 8. Practice
thoughtfulness. (Kindness is free. This is
STRATEGIC.)
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The story/this story/my story in summary form.
143
Big 5 1. Listen. (Respect.
Learn) 2. Ask. (Solicit. Engage. Inspire.)3.
Thank. (Appreciate. Acknowledge.)4. Apologize
(Rectify. Build.) 5. Practice thoughtfulness
(A way of life. A staple of good business.)
144
Sometimes (such as short presentations) I focus
just on what I call The BIG 5.
145
11
146
If I could have chosen not to tackle the IBM
culture head-on, I probably wouldnt have. My
bias coming in was toward strategy, analysis and
measurement. In comparison, changing the attitude
and behaviors of hundreds of thousands of people
is very, very hard. Yet I came to see in my
time at IBM that culture isnt just one aspect of
the game it is the game. Lou Gerstner, Who
Says Elephants Cant Dance
147
To do all this stuff is primarily a cultural
issue. (As Lou Gerstner found out to his dismay
at IBM.)
148
it is the game.
149
Ken Kizer/VA 1997 culture of cover-up that
pervades healthcare Patient Safety Event
Registry looking for systemic solutions, not
seeking to fix blame on individuals except in the
most egregious cases. The good news was a
thirty-fold increase in the number of medical
mistakes and adverse events that got reported.
National Center for Patient Safety Ann Arbor
150
Culture change can be accomplished in even the
least likely placesBig Time. Mostly, hospital
staffs hide mistakesits perhaps the culture of
medicine. The Veterans Administration hospitals
successfully attacked that culture. Reporting
incidents became the thing to doand was
rewarded. As a result mistakes reported
throughout the system increased by a FACTOR OF
THIRTY! Armed with buckets full of precious data,
the VA became, among other things, Americas best
model of patient safety.
151
30-fold!
152
Quite a lot, eh?
153
12
154
Courtesies of a small and trivial character are
the ones which strike deepest in the grateful and
appreciating heart. Henry Clay
155
The uncommon common courtesiesthe primary
basis for staff and customer satisfaction and
retentionand superior relationships in general.
And high profitability. And the deepest of deep
blue oceans