DEALING WITH ANGER

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DEALING WITH ANGER

• PRESENTED BY
• JOAN FITCH RN/B.S.N.

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Aristotle Once Said

• Anyone can get angry. That is easy. But to be
  angry with the right person, to the right degree,
  at the right time, for the right purpose and in
  the right way that is not easy.

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• What is anger?
• Websters Dictionary a strong feeling of
  displeasure and, usually, antagonism
• It is an emotional reaction to frustration or
  injury. In some cases, anger is beneficial, as it
  can spur us on to take action to correct a
  situation, or protect us from harm.
• It can be an instrument of motivation to work for
  positive change

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Aggression

• An action we take with anger or frustration
  against others. It can lead to emotional,
  physiological or socially negative consequences.

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Hostility

• A state of chronic anger that can lead to
  aggression against others. It can be verbal,
  physical or emotional.

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• Anger - The Demon Within
• Acting out our anger (e.g. yelling, hitting,
  throwing objects, driving too fast), or hurting
  others is not a healthy, or necessary expression
  of anger. When we act out our anger we damage
  others trust in us create a burden of shame
  that we then carry pass on our problems to
  others destroy intimacy alter our potential in
  society and relationships.

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• What psychologists know about anger
• it is normal
• it is experienced by everyone
• it is not something you outgrow
• it is a powerful feeling, but one you can learn
  to manage
• it is not the same thing as aggression, which is
  behavior (such as hitting someone) that may
  result in serious consequences if you cannot
  control your anger

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There are multiple books, web sites and
counselors who deal with anger management. This
is a reflection of how concerning and pervasive
this normal human emotion is.
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The Dimensions of Anger

• There are five interrelated dimensions all
  operating simultaneously in any angry situation
• cognition- our present thoughts
• emotion- the physiological arousal that anger
  produces
• communication - the way we display our anger
• affect - the way that we experience life when we
  are angry
• behavior - the way we behave when we are angry

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Physiologic Signs of Anger

• DIRECT SIGNS OF ANGER
• RAISED VOICE
• YELLING, CURSING
• HEADACHES
• STOMACHACHES
• INCREASED HEART RATE
• RAISED BLOOD PRESSURE
• CLENCHED FISTS
• RED FACE
• TIGHTNESS IN THROAT/CHEST
• VERBAL/PHYSICAL ABUSE

• INDIRECT SIGNS OF ANGER
• CHRONIC FATIGUE
• EXCESSIVE SLEEPING
• ANXIETY
• DEPRESSION
• CRYING
• MEAN OR HOSTILE JOKING
• DRUG AND ALCOHOL USE
• APPETITE CHANGES
• INCREASED ILLNESSES
• HEADACHE
• MUSCLE ACHES

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Long Term Health Effects

• Anger is an intense emotion that produces an
  adrenalin rush. If an individual is chronically
  angry or has frequent bouts of anger, adrenalin
  is released often. This constant rise of
  adrenalin results in a physiologic stress that
  decreases your immune systems ability to ward off
  infections. It creates both mental and physical
  fatigue and leads to.

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Anger Arousing Perception

• Injustice (Its not fair)
• Shattered expectations
• Blaming (Its your fault)
• Not treating me right
• I deserve better than this
• Those people are breaking the rules
• Shattered belief in a just world.
• Feeling powerless

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Anger Intensifying Habits

• Yelling
• Sulking and pouting
• Plotting revenge
• Hitting and other violence
• Competitive games
• Accusations

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Angers Warning Signals(body)

• Breathing fast
• Sweating or feeling chilled
• Backache, headache, stomachache
• Muscles tensing
• Shaking, trembling
• Clenching fist
• Grinding teeth/tense jaw
• Rapid heart beat

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Angers Warning Signals(behavior)

• Yelling, shouting
• Silent treatment
• Laughing at things hurtful
• Sarcasm
• Insulting
• Profanity
• Striking things/ people/ animals
• Breaking things
• Hurting your self

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a soothing moment
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Poem

• I am the ghost at the back of your mind
• The shadow on your thoughts
• My presence almost registers,
• then it is gone.
• unknown

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Self-Assessment

• Identify the types of anger that you are most
  likely to experience
• a.irritation
• b.frustration
• c.anger (boundary problems/violations)
• d.rage

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Self-Assessment (cont)

• View anger as the lid that is hiding other
  feelings.
• It is essential to develop an awareness of your
  personal anger cycle.
• To do this, make a list of what triggers your
  anger and what your anger symptoms are (i.e.,
  crying, depression, hollering, hitting,etc.)

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Society and Anger

• Are there social consequences, both positive and
  negative, that are derived from anger?
• Yes! Anger can be both healthy and unhealthy.
  It is important to try and distinguish between
  the two.
• Ask your self when angry Will my reaction be
  beneficial, or will it cause harm?

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Society and Anger (continued)

• Anger in society often manifests itself in
  violent behavior
• rape
• murder
• racism
• terrorism
• genocide
• property destruction

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Social Consequences

• Loss of friendships
• Isolation
• Suspensions
• Legal consequences
• Inability to maintain employment

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From Silence To Violence(looking for angers
middle ground)

• SILENCE passive denying needs, stuffing
  feelings, saving it up for a blow up.
• MODERATIONassertive saying how you feel, asking
  for what you want, telling others what you need
• VIOLENCE aggressive threats, attacks, fights,
  destruction.

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What to do?
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Techniques For Managing Anger

• First recognize that all feelings are ok
  including anger. Its the way we deal with
  feelings that can cause problems.
• Dont attack others. It will come back to haunt
  you.
• Dont attack yourself. If you arent on your
  side, who will be?
• Dont deny your feelings. It may lead to
  depression or hostility later.

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Techniques (cont.)

• Second Remember, you can CHOOSE your response to
  anger
• analyze the emotion that is bubbling under the
  surface
• make a commitment to recognizing your anger and
  expressing it in a way that is not harmful to
  others or yourself
• learn to recognize your personal warning signals
• express your anger clearly and directly

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Techniques (cont.)

• Third Avoid being a swallower or a spewer.
• talk with others before your rage builds up
• realize that intense anger can be dangerous
• set a boundary for yourself - what is allowable

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Techniques (cont.)

• R-E-T-H-I-N-K
• R recognize
• E empathize
• T think about what you are feeling
• H hear what the other person is saying
• I integrate respect for others and yourself
• N notice your responses
• K keep on the current topic dont bring up old
  grudges.

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Anger Reducing Perceptions

• a. bad things happen
• b. empathize with the other person
• c. I cant fight every battle
• d. she/he couldnt help it
• e. humor and silliness
• f. in life, things dont always go my way
• g. a hassle free life is not realistic
• h. this is inconvenient but I can live with it

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NegotiationThe Art of Building Solutions

• Assertiveness stand up for your legitimate
  rights in an appropriate way
• Listening allows you to open up communication
  channels
• Negotiation process by which two or more people
  work the conflict out to a MUTUAL agreement
• Criticism ability to give and receive
  constructive criticism

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Negotiation (cont.)

• Confrontation The ability to take responsibility
  for perceiving a situation or a persons behavior
  as unacceptable. Once identified, describe what
  is unacceptable, and state clearly the effect it
  is having.
• Positive Enter the conversation with respect for
  the other person and with the plan that a
  solution will be achieved.

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The Positives

• It is a normal stage in the grieving process.
• It is a form of protection in dangerous
  situations.
• It is an instrument of motivation to work for
  positive change in ourselves and the world.

• It is a source of increased awareness of
  ourselves and each other.
• It is an important ingredient in an honest
  friendship.
• It is an expression of frustration or hurt that
  asks for relief.

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Final Thought

• Those who cannot forgive others, break the
  bridge over which they themselves must pass.
• Confucius