IT AINT JUST WHAT YOU SAY ITS ALSO THE WAY THAT YOU SAY IT EMOTIONS IN COMMUNICATION Dr Robert Buckm

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IT AINT (JUST) WHAT YOU SAY ITS (ALSO) THE WAY
THAT YOU SAY ITEMOTIONS IN COMMUNICATIONDr
Robert BuckmanPrincess Margaret Hospital,
University of Toronto
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The Way We Say Things

• I did say it was just a small heart attack
• FACTS ARE IMPORTANT
• BUT, BY THEMSELVES
• THEY ARENT ENOUGH

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The Way We Say Things

• ALL COMMUNICATION HAS
• EMOTIONAL CONTENT
• EVEN UNEMOTIONAL CARRIES A MESSAGE

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The Way We Say Things

• THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEEN
• PROCESS
• AND
• OUTCOME

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The Way We Say Things

• PROCESS NEEDS
• RESPONSE TO CHANGE
• SENSITIVITY
• ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF EMOTIONAL COMPONENT OF
  INTERACTION

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The Way We Say Things

• Effective listening (C-L-A-S-S)
• C Context
• L Listening skills
• A Addressing emotions
• S Strategy
• S Summary

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The Way We Say Things

• CONTEXT
• Physical Context
• Body Language
• Eye Contact (not when hot)

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The Way We Say Things

• LISTENING Skills
• Silence
• Repetition
• Others

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The Way We Say Things

• ADDRESSING EMOTIONS The Empathic Response
• Identify the emotion (theirs or yours)
• Identify the source of the emotion
• Respond in a way that shows you have made that
  connection
• You dont have to feel the emotion yourself
• You dont have to agree with the viewpoint

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The Way We Say Things

• E-V-E The key to addressing emotions
• Each response should be one of these
• EXPLORING
• VALIDATING
• EMPATHIC

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The Way We Say Things

• STRATEGY (Management)
• Make sure you understand the other persons
  shopping list
• Evaluate what you can realistically do (and be
  seen to do that)
• Blend the blendable elements

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The Way We Say Things

• SUMMARY
• Summarize main areas
• Any other issues at the moment?
• Contract for contact

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The Way We Say Things

• Techniques that may help with
• conflict resolution
• Acknowledge all emotions (theirs yours)using
  empathic responses
• Try to disinvest in the outcome
• Restate. Define unresolved areas
• Discuss it with a colleague

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The Way We Say Things

• The Bottom Line
• VERY OFTEN THERE ARE ISSUES AND EMOTIONS
• RESPOND TO THE EMOTIONS FIRST, THEN THE ISSUES
• IT WORKS!

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The Way We Say Things

• Communication skills are like table manners
• I may not be a nice person
• But at least I can behave like one

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The Way We Say Things

• More info
• cinemedic.com

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The Way We Say Things

• More info
• cinemedic.com