Erotic online dating: Why do some people seek an offline sex

1
Erotic online datingWhy do some people seekan
offline sex?

• Anna evcíková
• Cyberspace 2007
• Brno

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Introduction

• Thanks to the Internet the environment where the
  sexuality can manifest is enlarged.
• The Internet has many erotic, pornographic
  websites available and many of them are free.
• It is a case of dating websites or erotic online
  dating where users can freely enter. The erotic
  online dating is an object of this study.
• We have no statistic information how many Czechs
  use this kind of services.
• But www.sally.cz contains 30 000 ads

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Theory review of motivation factors in the
context of the Internet

• Triple-A-engine concept which tries to explain
  why the Internet attracts individuals to engage
  in online sexual activities (Cooper, 1998)
• This theory forms 3 characters of the Internet
  Anonymity, Access and Affordability.

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Theory review of motivation factors

• Access individuals have the easy access to
  variable websites and communication forms
  (e-mail, chat, video-chat). These online pages
  can mediate a wide scale of sexual topic (safe
  sex, sexual practics)
• Affordability the economic competition keeps low
  prices of the Internet, the wide society can
  afford the Internet and then free sex as well
• Anonymity It protects the users against
  emotional, physical and social injury, persons
  can avoid a social punishment for marginalized
  sexual imagination or sex. activities

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Theory review of motivation factors

• The present factors (3A) create a feeling of
  freedom and disinhibition which cause the faster
  self-disclosure and the willingness to speak
  about sex and sexual imagination.
• These Internets characters can facilitate an
  experimentation with sexuality (such as sexual
  activities, choice of sexual partner or
  self-image)

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Other engines related to the Internet

• The Internet application online dating offers
  the users the opportunity to meet people that
  they would never meet in their life. Online
  dating offers the privacy and the secrecy. In the
  end it is quite comfortable way to meet new
  people (Brym Lenton, 2001)

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Theory review of motivation factors

• The concept of personal safety and sexual
  grafitication (McKenna et al., 2001)
• Personal safety (1) physical,
  
  (2) emotional
• Ad,1a- problem of HIV (the HIV transmission from
  homosexual community into heterosexual
  population), 1b- fear from involuntary pregnancy,
  
• Ad, 2- the sexual exploring and the sexual
  disclosure are associated with social risk in a
  real life (some sexual fantasy are depreciated or
  in tabu)

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Theory review

• Differerent view on cybersex motivation
• In the Czech study respondents engaging in
  cybersex were motivated with following needs
  (Divínová, 2005)
• a- to relax,
• b- to masturbate,
• c- to gain the intimity,
• d- to vary the sexual life and
• e- to gain new sexual experiences
• These needs can be also saturated in a real life
  but the feeling of the anonymity plays the big
  role on the Internet, the users dont have to
  expose their body and to be gallant

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Theory review

• Engaging in video-cybersex (the naked body is
  exposed) responds on stereotype, routine which
  are associated with long-term partnership
  (Waskul, 2002)
• The authors Divínová (2005) and Waskul (2002)
  also reflect motives which come from the real
  life.

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The present qulitative studyParticipants

• The participants 4 women, 7 men were recruited
  from one online erotic dating service
  www.sally.cz
• The used method was self-selection
• One condition for including in this study was to
  have offline free sex with person who had met
  thanks to some online erotic dating service.
• The range of age 30-49
• All categories of marital status were represented
  (unmarried, married, divorced, widowed)
• Heterosexual orientation, only one woman has a
  bi-sexual orientation
• The sample included couples who seeked sex
  together and stand-alone men and stand-alone
  women as well

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Data collection

• The data come from the transcript of face to face
  conversations which were recorded (avarage
  duration about 1 hour). Each participant agreed
  with the interview recording. The face to face
  interview has one advantage to check
  participants identity.
• The interviews had a semistructured form and were
  based on grounded theory (Strauss Corbin, 1999)
  

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Method of data analysis

• Used method Grounded theory (Strauss
  Corbinová, 1999) which is based on 3 phases (1)
  open, (2) axial and (3) selective coding.
• Open coding perceived phenomenon obtains a term
  and based on its characters it gains some
  position on multidimensional scales.
• Axial coding searching relationship among
  created categories
• Selective coding based on perceived regularity
  the task of this phase consists of searching the
  main phenomenon the central category which
  integrate the all categories.

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Method of data analysis

• Illustration of open coding
• IIlustration of axial coding

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Results
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Results engines coming from the user

• Absence of needs saturation in real world
• 1-to avoid a routine stereotype - revive sexual
  life
• 2-discontent in a marital relationship
  searching some new relationship as tendency to
  abandon current relationship
• 3-absence of sex - solitude
• Ad.1. couple searching the offline sex. partner
  tries to avoid the infidelity through the online
  erotic dating (its based on their mutual trust)
• All free factors are the reactions on the
  emotional dissatisfaction in the real life

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Results engines coming from the user

• The sexuality as an object because of which the
  people bunch
• The need to be in contact whith persons who
  have the same attitude to the sexual activities.
• The collective hobby of couple leads to
  create an ad on erotic websites.
• Sexual imagination
• The motive is expressed with desire to realize
  sexual phantasy. At the beginnig they can be also
  unconscious and the contact with erotic
  materials can cause the arising of this phantasy
  from the personal unconscious

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Results engines coming from the user

• Motives rising from attitude towards sexuality
• The user is familiar to sexuality (she/he likes
  sex sexual experimentation)
• The rejection of monogamy concept (the persons in
  long-term dont believe that monogamy is natural
• Benefit
• Sexual gratification - realization of sex.
  imagination
• Transcendence of casual life (to gain a strong
  experience)
• Change in sexual imagination 2 ways of this
  change
• Gradation of sex. phantasy (de Sade) or variation
  of sex. phantasy (Mutzenbacher)
• Sex. gratification and change of sex. imagination
  iniciate the comeback to online erotic dating and
  they transform themselves into motivation
  factors.

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Results engines associeted with the aspects of
virtual environment

• Anonymity
• The need to protect the users privacy and to
  separate these sexual activities from family,
  professional life.
• Easy and rapid access to the Internet (in some
  cases it can means to gain sex immediately)
• Internet as a place to meet people
• Users face to decreasing public area where its
  possible to gain a free sex
• I go to the bar where the avarage age of girls
  is 17 years and I dont think they look for this
  what I seek (male user, 40 years old)
• Bigger probability to meet people with similar
  experiences

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Discussion

• Perceived factors as the anonymity and the acces
  partly corresponds with Coopers model
  Triple-A-engine (anonymity, acces, affordability)
  (Cooper, 1998)
• Virtual enviroment mediates the possibility to
  meet other people. This advantage also was the
  important reason why respondents of Bryms and
  Lentons (2001) study used the online dating
  services.

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Discussion

• From the view of unsatisfied needs, detected need
  to improve sexual life corresponds with results
  of Divínová (2005) and Waskul (2002)
• From the view of matrimoniology, the attempt to
  find free sex is the response to the first
  marital crisis (after 6/7 of common coexistece)
  which is followed with the experience of
  stereotype, with the decrease of sex frequency
  and with the decrease of sex quality. This
  crisis is legitimate and inevitable in long-term
  relationship! (Planava, 1998)

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Discussion

• Why can a couple (e.x.) couple seek a free sex
  together?
• This phenomenon can be interpreted with two ways
• (1) Czech sexologist Kratochvíl (2005)
  distinguish 2 types of individuals, the first
  prefers an innovation approach in the sexuality
  and the second usually prefers to have sex in
  similar conditions. Both participants in couple
  could be innovators
• (2) The couples usually have already children,
  their reproduction intentions are not current and
  relevant. A reproduction encertainty (mammas
  baby papa maybe or papa without sources)
  doesnt have to appear (Buss, 1998)

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Discussion

• Benefit Sexual gratification
• It corresponds with McKenna et al. (2001) and
  Divínová (2005) concept and results
• consideration when the sexual gratification
  become associated only with Internet (online
  dating), it can cause a problematic engaging in
  the sexual activities

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Conclusion

• The interaction of the engines coming from the
  user on one side and the engines of the Internet
  environment on the other side is respondent for
  the seeking offline sex.
• Benefits such the sex. gratification and the
  change in the sex. imagination can transform into
  reason why the people seek the offline sex.
  partner again
• the offline sex can be one of ways how to face
  the difficulties which arise from the long-term
  partnership
• Implication for counselling relativizing of
  monogamy

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References

• Brym, R., Lenton, R. (2001). Love online A
  report on digital dating in Canada. Available
  http//www.nelson.com/nelson/harcourt/
  sociology/newsociety3e/loveonline.pdf.
• Buss, D., M.(1998). Sexual strategies theory
  historical origins and current status. Journal of
  Sex Research, 35, 19-31.
• Cooper, A. (1998). Sexuality and the Internet
  Surfing its way into the new Millennium.
  CyberPsychology Behavior, 1, 187-194.
• Divínová, R. (2005). Cybersex forma internetové
  komunikace Cybersex the form of the online
  communication. Praha Triton.
• Kratochvíl, S.(2005). Manelská terapie Marital
  therapy. Praha Portál.
• McKenna, K. Y. A., Green, A. S., Smith, P.
  K.(2001). Demarginalizing the sexual self. The
  Journal of Sex Research, 38, 302-311.
• Planava, I.(1998). Spolu kadý sám
  Together-alone. Praha Lidové noviny.
• Strauss, A., Corbinová, J. (1999). Základy
  kvalitativního výzkumu postupy a techniky
  zakotvené teorie Basics of Qualitative
  Research. Boskovice Albert.
• Waskul, D.(2002). The Naked Self Being Body in
  Televideo Cybersex. Berkely Symbolic
  Interaction, 25, 199-227.

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• Presented research was supported by Czech
  Ministry of Education, Youth and Sport
  (MSM0021622406)

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Thank you for your attention

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