Religions Role: Marriage and Parenting in Daily Life and during Family Crises

1
Religions Role Marriage and Parenting in Daily
Life and during Family Crises

• Elizabeth Anderson
• Laurie Barwick
• Lianna Bennett

2
Video Clip How to end an Argument/Conflict
Resolution

• http//www.youtube.com/watch?vT6Ggdr-whl0

3
Vignette

• Mary and John, a Christian couple who have been
  married for 15 years are seeking therapy for
  marital conflict, particularly disagreements over
  how to raise their children (14 year old son, 10
  year old daughter). Mary believes that the
  children should have strict rules and that Johns
  parenting style is permissive. John believes that
  Marys parenting style is too harsh and that the
  children should be allowed to make their own
  decisions. Mary and John find themselves arguing
  over topics such as discipline, church
  attendance, and values.

4
Based on this vignette, what are some things as a
clinician you would want to know or assess for?

5

• Assess individual religious affiliation
  (Fundamentalist, Liberal, etc )
• Assess individual values
• Assess individual parenting style
• Assess for mental illness and other psychological
  factors (e.g. neuroticism)

6
Why Religion?

• Gallup poll in 1995 of US families
• 65 of mothers 57 of fathers stated religion
  to be very or extremely important in their
  lives (Mahoney et al., 1999)
• About 90 of individuals in the US want religious
  training for their children (Gallup Castelli,
  1989)
• Yet, there is little theory or research on the
  role of religion in family

7
Religion and Family Life Overview

• Marital Functioning
• Transition to Parenthood
• Parenting of Children
• Parenting of Adolescents
• Parental Gender and Family Life

8
Marital Functioning

• Global Marital Satisfaction
• Greater involvement in religion appears to be
  tied to spouses being satisfied with marriage
• Mahoney et al. (2001) found that church
  attendance more frequently covaried with greater
  marital satisfaction (r .07), and that religion
  being personally relevant related to greater
  marital satisfaction (r .15)
• Two moderators for links between religion and
  marital satisfaction
• First, Sullivan (2001) found that if partners
  portray healthy behavior (mental health),
  religion could increase marital satisfaction
  however, couples with a partner in distress or
  neurotic might experience an increase in
  marital difficulties
• Second, Mahoney et al. (2001) found that
  religiousness on a personal level is very
  predictive of marital happiness for people
  attending church

9
Marital Functioning contd

• Marital Commitment
• Mahoney et al. (2001) found that greater
  individual religiousness is consistently tied
  with greater marital commitment and couples
  sharing religious affiliation, church attendance,
  and/or beliefs have been repeatedly tied to
  greater marital commitment
• Larson Goltz (1989) and Wilson Musick (1996)
  found that greater church attendance relates to
  marital commitment, after accounting for
  demographic factors and marital/family
  satisfaction

10
Marital Functioning contd

• Marital Verbal Conflict/Conflict Resolution
  Strategies
• Oggins (2003) found that couples rarely directly
  argue about religion
• Mahoney et al. (2001) found that the frequency of
  marital disputes is unrelated to personal
  religiousness, thus not validating the notion
  that more religious people tolerate conflict to
  stay together also, couples look at religion for
  guidance in how to resolve conflict if it erupts
• Brody et al. (1994) found that greater
  religiousness was related to better marital
  communication skills
• In sum, research suggests that greater
  religiousness can be linked to better
  communication patterns and less marital conflict

11
Transition to Parenthood

• Krishnan (1993) found that greater church
  attendance is tied to higher birth rates
• Becker and Hofmeister (2001) found that the birth
  of a child may cause a transformation in the
  spirituality of parents for example, mothers
  attending church more frequently
• Palkovitz (2002) found that men were prompted for
  religious introspection or religious involvement
  due to the birth or presence of children
• Also, some studies imply that religion may serve
  as a source of protection for marriages that are
  transitioning into parenthood. Wilcox and
  Wolfinger (2003) found that churchgoing mothers
  received higher levels of support from their
  husbands and were in less conflict with the
  father of their children, such as over sexual
  infidelity. The mothers were also more likely to
  be married at the time of the birth of the child
  and were highly committed to marriage.

12
Parenting of Children

• Discipline Practices
• Most of the research on parenting and religion
  has focused on whether or not Christian
  conservatism is tied to corporal punishment
• Mahoney et al. (2001) found that adults
  affiliated with Christian groups that are
  conservative and hold literalistic beliefs about
  the Bible are more likely to value children being
  obedient and also believe in corporal punishment.
  However, most of the research about these
  attitudes has not focused on parents
• Mahoney et al. (2001) found that the actual use
  of corporal punishment among Christian
  conservatives related to spanking of
  preadolescents indicated a correlation of r
  .09, which was about half as strong as
  attitudinal links found in general samples of
  adults
• Thus, it is important to realize that the degree
  to which parents hold to biblical literalism
  (e.g. The Bible should be taken literally, word
  for word) or Christian fundamentalism (e.g. All
  the answers to humanitys problems can be found
  in Gods Word), is more critical in predicting
  parents adherence to corporal punishment than
  merely being a member of a Christian conservative
  group, as the aforementioned variables mediate
  the link between corporate punishment and
  religious denomination
• Research has also indicated that more liberal
  Christians are less inclined to using corporal
  punishment

13
Parenting of Children contd

• Warmth and Effective Parenting of Children
• Many studies indicate that religion may be tied
  to parental warmth, family cohesiveness and more
  effective parenting
• Brody et al. (1994) stated that a mothers
  religiousness was related to better skills in
  parenting, less coparenting conflict, and better
  marital quality also, fathers who were more
  religious were also related to less coparenting
  conflict and better marital quality
• Wilcox (1998) found that parents with theological
  conservative views of the Bible were more
  inclined to frequent hugging and praising of
  their children. Wilcox (2002) also found that
  these conservative parents were less likely to
  yell at their children
• In sum, studies seem to indicate that more
  conservative parents who are more inclined to
  spanking are also likely to be warmer toward
  their children, especially when viewing their
  parenting as a sacred calling

14
Parenting of Adolescents

• Research
• Sherkat (2003) found that the adoption of
  religious beliefs and practices by teenagers was
  influenced by greater parental religiousness
• Personal religiousness of adolescents also
  appears to be consistently tied with lower rates
  of premarital sexuality, delinquency and
  substance use (Donahue Benson, 1995)
• Discipline Practices
• No empirical research that addresses the
  correlation between religion and physical
  discipline of teenagers
• Links between corporal punishment and
  Christianity appear to be present only in
  families of younger children
• However, studies regarding religious parents
  trying to control their teens indicate that high
  levels of parental religiousness may not be
  effective for sons who resist their behavior
  being controlled, while control might be more
  effective for daughters

15
Parenting of Adolescents contd

• Warmth and Positivity
• Research indicates that religion facilitates
  positive relationships between parents and
  teenagers
• Pearce and Axinn (1998) found that mothers level
  of religiousness when their teenagers were
  18-years-old predicted more positive
  relationships with their children when their
  children were 23, as reported by both mothers and
  children

16
Parental Gender and Family Life

• Fathers
• National surveys have indicated that fathers who
  indicated high church attendance also reported a
  higher involvement in youth activities (Wilcox,
  2002)
• King (2003) found that fathers who are more
  religious indicated higher quality of
  relationships with their children, felt
  obligation, and positive expectations of future
  relationship
• Mothers
• Research has primarily been focused on
  African-American and Mexican American women
• These studies suggest that religious faith can
  facilitate the well-being of mothers struggling
  with challenging circumstances (e.g. single
  parenting), as well as facilitate adaptive
  parenting

17
Religion and Family CrisesOverview

• Divorce
• Domestic Violence
• Marital Infidelity
• Child Physical Abuse
• Parenting a Child with Special
• Needs
• Child Psychopathology

18
Divorce

• Religion as a protective factor
• Religious affiliation vs. no affiliation
• Frequent church attendance
• But what happens when divorce does occur in
  religious families?
• (Mahoney et al., 2001)

19
Domestic Violence

• Overall, religion appears to be protective factor
  against marital violence
• 3 large scale studies exist
• Frequent churchgoers 50 less likely to
  experience or use marital physical aggression
  than infrequent churchgoers
• Degree of religiousness as a factor
• What about toxic faith?
• (Fergusson, et al., 1986 Ellison et al.,
  1999)

20
Marital Infidelity

• Interesting fact!! Scarce research exists on
  religion and sexual attitudes and behaviors
  within marriage
• Most research deals with premarital sex
• Few studies on married couples found sexual
  infidelity to be distressing for more religious
  couples
• Greater church attendance has been linked with
  greater disapproval of extramarital sex in the
  U.S., West Germany, and Poland
• (Scott, 1998)

21
Marital Infidelity contd

• Overall, research implies that more religious
  people hold higher expectations of sexual
  monogamy and would feel guilt-ridden if engaged
  in sexual infidelity
• Research implies this! These speculations have
  yet to be empirically confirmed.

22
Child Physical Abuse

• In contrast to findings on corporal punishment,
  current research does not support the idea of
  greater religiousness encouraging child physical
  abuse
• Longitudinal study- 1975
• Overall, it is unclear what specific religious
  beliefs buffer or exacerbate parents use of
  excessive physical force with child
• (Brown, Cohen, Johnson, Salzinger, 1998)

23
Parenting a Child with Special Needs

• Primarily descriptive and qualitative studies
• Focuses on how families rely on religion to cope
  with children with a developmental disability or
  serious illness
• Positive forms of religious coping-
• Benevolent reappraisals (study found that 71 of
  Latino mothers viewed their disabled child as a
  gift from God)
• Religious rituals practices (prayer, attending
  church, pilgrimages to holy places)
• (Skinner et al., 1999 Bailey et al., 1999)

24
Parenting a Child with Special Needs contd

• Research largely involves only mothers
• Dollahite et al. (1998, 2002, 2004) found that
  fathers religious beliefs, religious practices,
  and religious communities facilitated meaningful
  father-child relationships among Latter-Day Saint
  families with special needs children

25
Child Psychopathology

• Research indicates that global markers of greater
  parental and familial religiousness are linked to
  better child psychological adjustment
• What occurs when religious families do have a
  child with a psychopathology?
• Certain religious beliefs and practices could
  exacerbate as well as buffer maladjustment of
  clinically distressed youth
• (Mahoney et al., 2001 Strawbridge et al.,
  1998)

26
Emerging Constructs to Advance Research

• There is a need to facilitate family adjustment
  during normal family life changes
• Sanctification perceiving an aspect of life as
  having divine significance and character
• Theistic Sanctification
• Nontheistic Sanctification
• (Pargament Mahoney, 2005
• Mahoney et al., 2003)

27
Sanctification contd

• Research on sanctification suggest that viewing
  an aspect of life in a sacred lens has 4
  important implications
• Major investments
• Spiritual resources
• Spiritual emotions
• Spiritual benefits
• (Pargament Mahoney, 2005
• Mahoney et al., 2003)

28
Counterproductive Constructs and Divorce

• Sacred Loss and Desecration
• Spiritual Guilt
• Demonization
• Theistic Triangulation
• (Mahoney, 1999 Pargament et al., 2005
• Mahoney et al., 2003 Butler Harper, 1994)

29
Religious Resources to Recover From Family Crises

• Family-Based Religious Practices and Rituals
• Butler, Stout, and Garner (2002) found that
  religious couples who have been married for a
  long time say they engage in religious practices
  together (such as praying) to resolve marital
  conflict
• Theistic Mediation
• For instance, God (or other supernatural forces)
  are included in a dyadic relationship to help
  mediate conflict as a third party to the
  relationship
• Butler and Harper (1994) have found this process
  to be effective in case examples of marriage
• Yanni (2003) also found that parents and their
  children who included God as a mediator
  experienced fewer conflicts, better communication
  and higher relationship satisfaction

30
Assessment

• ARE WE WALKING WITH THE SAME MORAL COMPASS?

31
How to Address Disagreements

• Relationship Enhancement Therapy
• Skill based therapy with goal of emotional
  engagement
• Focus is on recognizing and taking ownership of
  feelings. Learn to avoid making judgments or
  accusations, and avoid asking questions while
  listening. Instead, acknowledge underlying
  feelings that motivate your spouses expressions
  and actions.
• Goal is to become less judgmental and to focus on
  softening, which refers to a change in the
  hardness of the quality of confrontation.
  (Ginsberg, 2000)

32
PAUSE

• A biblical approach to negotiation
• Prepare (pray, get the facts, seek godly counsel,
  develop options)
• Affirm relationships (show genuine concern and
  respect for others)
• Understand interests (identify others' concerns,
  desires, needs, limitations, or fears)
• Search for creative solutions (prayerful
  brainstorming)
• Evaluate options objectively and reasonably
  (evaluate, don't argue) (Sande, 2006)

33
References

• Brown, J., Cohen, P., Johnson, J., Salzinger,
  S. (1998). A longitudinal analysis of risk
  factors for child maltreatment findings of a
  17-year prospective study of officially recorded
  and self-reported child abuse and neglect. Child
  Abuse and Neglect, 22, 1065-1078.
• Butler, M. H. Harper, J.M. (1994). The divine
  triangle God in the marital system of religious
  couples. Family Process, 33, 277-286.
• Ginsberg, B. G. (2000). Relationship enhancement
  couples therapy. In F. M. Dattilio L.
  Bevilacqua (Eds.), Comparative treatments of
  relationship dysfunction. New York Springer.
• Mahoney, A., Tarakeshwar, N. (2005). Religions
  role in marriage and parenting in daily life and
  during family crises. In Paloutzian, R., Park,
  C. (Ed.), Handbook of the psychology of religion
  and spirituality (pp.177-195). New York
  Guilford.
• Sande, K. (2006). The peacemaker A biblical
  guide to resolving personal conflict. Grand
  Rapids Baker Books.