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The Wisdom of Individuals Seeing and Being Different in a Family, a Business, or in a Crowded Brain

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Source: FAMILY THERAPY IN CLINICAL PRACTICE, Murray Bowen, MD ... System therapy cannot remake that which nature created, but through learning how ... – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: The Wisdom of Individuals Seeing and Being Different in a Family, a Business, or in a Crowded Brain


1
- The Wisdom of Individuals - Seeing and
Being Different in a Family, a Business, or
in a Crowded Brain
  • Presentation for the American Society of
    Cybernetics Oct. 29th 2005
  • The George Washington University, Mt. Vernon
    Campus 2100 Foxhall Road, Washington, DC
  • Andrea Maloney Schara, LCSWA
  • www.ideastoaction.com arms711_at_aol.com

2
The Dynamic Tension Existing in
Emotional Systems
  • There are two forces -
  • 1) to be an individual
  • 2) the force to join in with the group - the
    togetherness force- the fusion force.
  • Source FAMILY THERAPY IN CLINICAL PRACTICE,
    Murray Bowen, MD

3
Sensitivity in Ones family of Origin
  • In order to function as adults people often deny
    their attachments becoming emotionally distance
    from the family.
  • Emotional distance can be achieved by internal
    mechanisms or by physical distances.
  • Family members are often unaware of the pressure
    to conform or their reactivity to it.

4
Pressure to Conform - Fusion The Love Lock or
Dysgnosis
  • Emotional system can promote the suppression of
    the perception of change.
  • Living in the past occurs when there are
    automatic reactions to others, which includes the
    pressure to live by their rules, to feel their
    pain or to feel the other as a pain.

5
Neurofeedback NCP
  • NCP offers a physiological gateway to observing
    and being present.
  • One person in the family absorbs more anxiety
    than others resulting in more ditches in the
    brain.
  • Watching the brain change promotes diversity and
    coherence within the brain by watching patterns
    change.

6
Neurofeedback Offers Information of Change
to the Brain.
  • Enables individuals to be more present as
    observers of self and others.
  • Lowers overall anxiety.
  • Reconfigures the point where ones development
    was stuck.

7
The Infectious Field The Togetherness Force
  • Separating out a self from the energy field

8
Anxiety and Managing Self
  • Anxiety goes up awareness goes down.
  • Humans like trees, need deep roots and a strong
    center to with stand the winds of change.

9
From automatic distancing and trying to help and
protect others, I gradually to learned to be a
bit more autonomous. ams
  • The Maloney- Maher Family

d.72
d.77
d.71
d.64
GL, 1913-89
AJM 1909-67
AWM, 1918-74
M.40 -S.49 52
AMS 1941
AJM, Jr. 1950
WMM, 1943
10
BECOMING A BETTER OBSERVER ONE KEY TO
BEING A LEADER
  • Taking responsibility for being one part of a
    system.
  • Discovering three generations of patterns in
    ones family of origin.
  • In telling or listening to stories just remember
    -
  • Self-reference is the infinite in finite
    guise. Francisco Varela

11
Re-Thinking my Family
  • Diagramming multigenerational relationships.
  • Genetic vulnerability and the history of how
    people have been with one another.
  • Coachs job - allow people to tell and re tell
    their family story, to reduce reactivity, and to
    have more open, non anxious relationships.

12
Family Systems Theory and Psychotherapy
  • Bowen Family Systems Therapist has a
    responsibility to define a self and know ones
    extended family and his or her sensitivity to
    others.

13
Self organizing systems -
  • This term becomes meaningless, unless the system
    is in close contact with the environment, which
    posses available energy and order, and with which
    our system is in a state of perpetual
    interaction, such that it somehow manages to
    live on the expenses of this environment.
  • Heinz von Foerster - Observing Systems

14
Sensitivity Goes Down as Autonomy is Established
Open relationships Being in good contact
15
Sensitivity Over Focus, Worry, Blame and a Lack
of Autonomy- Other Focus-
16
Emotional Process
  • Basic relationships patterns, developed for
    adapting to the parental family in childhood, are
    used in all other relationships throughout life.
  • The basic patterns in social and work
    relationships are identical to relationship
    patterns in the family, except in intensity.
  • (Source FAMILY THERAPY IN CLINICAL PRACTICE,
    page 462)

17
How does Learning Help?
  • Living systems must be able to compute future
    events from past experiences.
  • Systems need memory to become inductive
    inference computers.
  • How much uncertainty, as to future events, is
    able to be removed by acquiring higher levels of
    order?
  • (Source Observing Systems, Heinz von Forester
    page 97)

18
CHANGE
  • What is going to change?
  • How is the change to be accomplished?
  • What is the cause of this change?

19
Timeless Memory- Behavior and Learning
  • Stories about the past are told in the now.
  • Potential awareness of past experiences
    self-reference, self description, self
    explanation creates a space for change.
  • Changes in behavior can occur automatically when
    there is less anxiety and greater ability to be
    present, without reacting to what is.

20
Observe Observers
  • Asking clients to tell their story.
  • Then you can make an interpretation and find
    confirming entities.
  • Or use the scientific method Facts proceed
    interpretation.

21
  • If we cant perceive,
  • we cannot perceive
  • of the future,
  • and thus we do not know
  • how to act now.
  • hvf

22
Goal Obtaining Knowledge of the Past Gives
Greater Ability to Live in the Present
  • Bowen Family Theory integrates past and present
    experience to inform new activities, either as
    thought, will or speech and movement.
  • Actions taken speak of the future we are
    creating

23
Open Relationships
  • Establishing a more open relationship system in
    the extended family.
  • Becoming aware of the social pressure to conform.
  • Good emotional contact is maintained by creating
    a space for the other.
  • Finding a way to speak ones truth without
    pressuring the other to change.

24
Anxiety
  • During anxious times its is difficult to say what
    he/she thinks or believes, if it might upset
    people.
  • Those who have only duty visits home are
    vulnerable to stress - marital discord and
    problem with their children.

25
The Wisdom of the Crown -
  • Independence keeps people from being swayed by a
    single opinion leader
  • People's errors balance each other out, and
    guarantees that the results are "smarter" than if
    a single expert had been in charge.

26
Wise crowds or collective intelligence needs -
  • (1) diversity of opinion
  • (2) independence of members from one another
  • (3) decentralization and
  • (4) a good method for aggregating opinions.

27
The DangerMoving towards fusion.
  • The more influence we exert on each other, the
    more likely it is that we will believe the same
    things and make the same mistakes.

28
The Design of the Brain
  • The other individual is seen as the problem,
    people rate self as less susceptible to bias than
    others.
  • Pronkin, Lin, Ross (2003) gathered data to show
    the eight different biases in human judgment.

29
Philip Zimbardo 1971 The Prison Experiment
  • Showed how individuals assume roles given a
    social context.
  • 24 well tested volunteers-half assigned role of
    guard and half prisoners.
  • Prison in basement at Stanford where guards and
    prisoners were humiliated, etc.

30
People Unable to Separate Real and Assumed
Personality.
  • I began to feel that the person I was, was
    distant from me - was remote - until finally I
    wasn't that, I was 416.
  • The research was ended after five days.
  • The importance of work culture and relationships
    in shaping behavior.

31
Asch Experiments -1950s
  • The coercive effects of group behavior on the
    ability to see how long a line is.
  • 35 went along with the incorrect judgments of
    the majority of the group.

32
2005 -.- A New f.M.R.I Study on Group Pressure by
Dr. Gregory Burns
  • Showed the 41 of group chose the wrong answer
    under social pressure.
  • No activation in forebrain monitoring conscious
    activity.
  • Activity increases in right side devoted to
    spatial awareness.
  • Independent thinkers activated right amygdala and
    right caudate nucleus.

33
Group Pressure to Abuse Facts- Togetherness
  • Stanley Milgram did the classical work on
    Obedience to Authority (New York Harper and Row,
    1974)  Participants willing to shock people to
    levels which threatened their live. 
  • Milgram did that experiment many times, and found
    that 65 of people would administer shocks marked
    in the lethal range while the recipients
    screamed, no matter if the setting was Yale or
    the shopping center.

34
Triangles - Two agree and gain energy at a cost
to a third.
  • A form of cohesion in all social system.
  • Forming alliances with those who agree with you
    can be dangerous for your autonomy.

35
Detriangling
  • One is in contact with other individuals about an
    emotional issue.
  • There is no side taking or counterattacking or
    defending self.
  • The goal is to stay in contact and have a neutral
    response.
  • Over time the family gains as one member is able
    to relate more freely without taking sides and
    becoming entangled in the emotional system.

36
Murray Bowen, MD (1913-1990)
  • Defining a self in the family of origin by
    managing self in relationship to others while
    specifically avoiding focus on polarizing old
    emotional issues in the nuclear family, and being
    clear about what one believes and will or will
    not do.
  • Family Therapy in Clinical Practice (pgs 539
    545)

37
  • We forfeit three fourths of ourselves in order to
    be like other people. 
  • Arthur Schopenhauer

38
Murray Bowen, MD
  • System therapy cannot remake that which nature
    created, but through learning how the organism
    operates, controlling anxiety, and learning to
    better adapt to the fortunes and misfortunes of
    life, it can give nature a better chance."
  • (Source FAMILY THERAPY IN CLINICAL PRACTICE,
    page 410)

39
My book in process- Legitimate Leaders Taking
off the Relationship Blinders
  • I Interviewed Ten Leaders
  • Gathered stories on how leaders gain strength by
    understanding relationships.

40
  • This book is about being a leadereither by
    default or by desireand designing a compass to
    guide you as you implement your leadership goals.
    Along the way, youll also learn a bit about
    family systems theory and the man who invented it
    all, Murray Bowen, M.D.

41
Telling Your Story of How people Influenced You -
name five people -
  • 1) The conflict or confusion
  • 2) Strategy adapted
  • 3) The transformation
  • 4) The Leadership Prescription Box
    Future Directions for Me

42
The Mindful Compass
  • (North) Define a vision This is what I will or
    will not do -
  • (South) Resistance to change in yourself and/or
    in any system

43
Mindful Compass
  • (West) The ability to connect with people and
    understand the history of relationships
  • (East) The capacity to be separate

44
Becomes a better observer and controlling ones
emotional reactivity
  • Understand your past sensitivity so you can -
  • Back out of intense situations
  • Slow down emotional reactions
  • Make neutral or loose comments
  • Stay in good humor
  • Learn by asking
  • What did this situation teach me?

45
Defining a Self
  • A more mature self emerges when people are calmer
    one way - NCP
  • Know the family and or works system- the
    expectations and patterns of relating who is
    close - who is on the outside?
  • Understand the many generations without blame,
    listening to the various stories, respecting the
    diversity of answers and people.
  • Know what you are willing to do and say so.
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