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Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

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Chapter 7. Resolving Interpersonal Conflict. Quiz Wed. Conflict and Confrontation ... you are rewarding intimidating behavior, you end up with regrets, you can ... – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: Resolving Interpersonal Conflict


1
Chapter 7
  • Resolving Interpersonal Conflict
  • Quiz Wed.

2
Conflict and Confrontation
  • Definition A perceived divergence of interest,
    or a belief that the parties current goals
    cannot be achieved simultaneously.
  • I cant get what I want if you get what you
    want.

3
Goals
  • To accept human differences as inevitable
  • To help you lose your fear of conflict
  • To teach you methods to help you get what you
    want and protect yourself
  • To present alternative to fight or flight
    behaviors
  • To learn to problem solve instead of desiring
    revenge!

4
Interpersonal Styles
  • Passive fear of risk of speaking holds you back,
    no power
  • Assertive skills result in powerful approach
    without overpowering
  • Aggressive fear of losing something causes
    attack, ineffective power

5
  • Exercise on page 367, change 1 to 4.00!
  • 2. You just got home and started playing video
    games or got on the phone with a friend and your
    mom comes in
  • 4. or friends are taking advantage of you having
    a car or money

6
Say It With I Messagesp. 387
  • When you
  • I feel
  • Because (not required unless its a judge or law
    enforcement officer!)
  • Id like or Id prefer
  • Write your own response and then share it with
    the group. Do 2 and then 6 in class. Finish
    the others at home.

7
Conflict Advantages
  • It is a symptom of discontent
  • It produces change for the better
  • It produces gains, innovations, and new ideas.
  • It fosters unity and understanding
  • It brings about behavior changes

Conflict is good when
8
Conflict Disadvantages
  • It escalates arguments
  • It leads to hostility and fear
  • When it is suppressed it leads to resentment and
    disrespect

Conflict is bad when
9
Conflict Resolution Strategies
  • Yielding
  • Withdrawing
  • Inaction
  • Contending
  • Problem Solving

10
Conflict Resolution Strategies
  • Yielding giving into the other person
  • Occurs when issue isnt more important, the
    others goals are more important to you than your
    own, the relationship is unstable (new or
    stressed), approval from others is important to
    you or you feel threatened.
  • Advantages use as a bargaining point, saves
    time and hassles, prevents escalation of the
    conflict.
  • Disadvantages low joint benefits, you are
    rewarding intimidating behavior, you end up with
    regrets, you can feel cheated, manipulated, angry
    at self and others, resentment develops which
    hinders future cooperation.

11
Conflict Resolution Strategies
  • Withdrawing abandonment of the conflict,
    physically or psychologically.
  • Occurs when there is high concern for self and
    low concern for others, you have a better
    alternative, people feel spiteful and angry or
    threatened.
  • Advantages diminishes sense of frustration,
    forces us to find better alternatives, buys time
    for cooling off and reminds other party they have
    a stake in the relationship.
  • Disadvantages conflict is not resolved, low
    joint benefits, high frustration level is
    possible, harms future cooperation.

12
Conflict Resolution Strategies
  • Inaction non-coping strategy that comes from
    procrastination or denial.
  • Occurs when low concern for goals, issue seems
    unimportant, people fear conflict, people do not
    want to get negative attention.
  • Advantages if time can solve the problem,
    avoiding it can be the solution, avoids
    defensiveness when the issue is sensitive, when
    confronting the conflict would escalate it.
  • Disadvantages hostilities grow and fester
    beneath the surface, the problem compounds, no
    joint benefits, high social and economic costs,
    high stress.

13
Conflict Resolution Strategies
  • Contending is arguing for your way, believing
    only one person can win and it should be you,
    comes from a scarcity mentality.
  • Occurs when high concern for self, low concern
    for others, fear of losing, hostility and
    rigidity exist, believe joint gains are
    impossible, one has the ability to contend such
    as having position, power, resources, and better
    alternative, you know the other person will give
    in.
  • Advantages winning allows you to feel
    successful and you get what you want, you appear
    powerful.
  • Disadvantages you may feel guilty, people dont
    like you, you may get your way and you may have
    the wrong plan.

14
Six Contentious Tactics
  • Ingratiation the more you like me the more
    youll cooperate so Ill use flattery, our
    similarities, and do you favors.
  • Persuasive Argumentation get others to lower
    their demands by using a series of logical
    arguments. Convince them it will cost too much
    in terms of time, dollars, or status, and
    convince them it is in their favor to ask for
    less, use fear!

15
Six Contentious Tactics
  • Promises If you do this, Ill do that
  • Advantages promises are usually reciprocated,
    creates indebtedness, feels like its based on a
    sense of fairness, gives positive incentives
    instead of threats.
  • Disadvantages costs you something to keep the
    promise, youll have to offer more reward next
    time, can ruin you if you dont follow through,
    determining the size of the reward is tough,
    promise too much and you will pay too much,
    promise too little and you wont get the
    cooperation.

16
Six Contentious Tactics
  • Gamesmanship one-upmanship and manipulation
  • Types of manipulation
  • 1. The victim
  • 2. Crying or pouting
  • 3. Blaming

17
Six Contentious Tactics
  • Threats if/then propositions
  • Advantages cost nothing if they work, more
    effective in the short run than promises,
    threatener can benefit when reneging on the
    threat by looking benevolent, some see threats as
    a form of justice, i.e. if you dont do what I
    want, youll deserve what you get!
  • Disadvantages threats beget threats, dislike,
    suspicion, hostility, aggression, compliance not
    commitment, avoidance.

18
Six Contentious Tactics
  • Dirty Tactics personal attacks (character
    assassination, i.e. you always try to make me
    feel guilty, you are the problem) lies, sabotage
    and back stabbing, talking about you to others as
    though you are the problem.
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