Scientific Writing, HRP 214

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Cream and chocolate comprise chocolate sauce.
• B. Cream and chocolate compose chocolate sauce.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Cream and chocolate comprise chocolate sauce.
• B. Cream and chocolate compose chocolate sauce.
• composer putting notes together to make music

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. The dessert was comprised of cream and
  chocolate.
• B. The dessert was composed of cream and
  chocolate.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. The dessert was comprised of cream and
  chocolate.
• B. The dessert was composed of cream and
  chocolate.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Chocolate sauce composes cream and chocolate.
• B. Chocolate sauce comprises cream and chocolate.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Chocolate sauce composes cream and chocolate.
• B. Chocolate sauce comprises cream and chocolate.
• think includes (but exhaustive list)
• compare composed of (generally exhaustive)

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Cream and chocolate are comprised in chocolate
  sauce.
• B. Cream and chocolate are composed of
• chocolate sauce.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Cream and chocolate are comprised in chocolate
  sauce.
• B. Cream and chocolate are composed of
• chocolate sauce.

9
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. I hope that my sister and I will reconcile.
• B. I hope that my sister and me will reconcile.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. I hope that my sister and I will reconcile.
• B. I hope that my sister and me will reconcile.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. He told Dan and me that they would meet us at
  noon.
• B. He told Dan and I that they would meet us at
  noon.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. He told Dan and me that they would meet us at
  noon.
• B. He told Dan and I that they would meet us at
  noon.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. I always thought it was further to the moon.
• B. I always thought it was farther to the moon.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. I always thought it was further to the moon.
• B. I always thought it was farther to the moon.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Between you and I, we should have it done in
  no time.
• B. Between you and me, we should have it done in
  no time.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Between you and I, we should have it done in
  no time.
• B. Between you and me, we should have it done in
  no time.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. He died of unknown causes.
• B. He died from unknown causes.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. He died of unknown causes.
• B. He died from unknown causes.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. She could have made it further in life.
• B. She could have made it farther in life.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. She could have made it further in life.
• B. She could have made it farther in life.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Its the nuts, sir. Theyre complimentary.
• B. Its the nuts, sir. Theyre complementary.
• C. Its the nuts, sir. Theyre complimentary.
• D. Its the nuts, sir. Theyre complementary.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Its the nuts, sir. Theyre complimentary.
• B. Its the nuts, sir. Theyre complementary.
• C. Its the nuts, sir. Theyre complimentary.
• D. Its the nuts, sir. Theyre complementary.

23
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. The medical students heard seventeen lectures
  about the compliment cascade.
• B. The medical students heard seventeen lectures
  about the complement cascade.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. The medical students heard seventeen lectures
  about the compliment cascade.
• B. The medical students heard seventeen lectures
  about the complement cascade.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Lecture Four Writing Basics II
• Paragraphs, logic, and organization

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214paragraphs
Although the methodological approaches are
similar, the questions posed in classic
epidemiology and clinical epidemiology are
different. In classic epidemiology,
epidemiologists pose a question about the
etiology of a disease in a population of people.
Causal associations are important to identify
because, if the causal factor identified can be
manipulated or modified, prevention of disease is
possible. On the other hand, in clinical
epidemiology, clinicians pose a question about
the prognosis of a disease in a population of
patients. Prognosis can be regarded as a set of
outcomes and their associated probabilities
following the occurrence of some defining event
or diagnosis that can be a symptom, sign, test
result or disease.
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Scientific Writing, HRP 214What are you trying
to say? Idea flow chart (outline)
28
Scientific Writing, HRP 214sentence-level editing
Although the methodological approaches are
similar, the questions posed in classic
epidemiology and clinical epidemiology are
different.
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Scientific Writing, HRP 214
Despite methodologic similarities, classic
epidemiology and clinical epidemiology differ in
aim.
30
Scientific Writing, HRP 214paragraph parallelism
In classic epidemiology, epidemiologists pose a
question about the etiology of a disease in a
population of people. Causal associations are
important to identify because, if the causal
factor identified can be manipulated or modified,
prevention of disease is possible. On the other
hand, in clinical epidemiology, clinicians pose a
question about the prognosis of a disease in a
population of patients.
Whats the structure of the comparison/contrast? H
ere In discipline 1, group 1 poses a question
about XX in a population of XX. In discipline
2, group 2 poses a question about YY in a
population of YY.
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Scientific Writing, HRP 214
Classic epidemiologists pose a question about the
etiology of a disease in a population of people.
Clinical epidemiologists pose a question about
the prognosis of a disease in a population of
patients.
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Scientific Writing, HRP 214sentence-level editing
Prognosis can be regarded as a set of outcomes
and their associated probabilities following the
occurrence of some defining event or diagnosis
that can be a symptom, sign, test result or
disease. ? Prognosis is the probability that an
event or diagnosis will result in a particular
outcome.
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Scientific Writing, HRP 214Altogether
Despite methodologic similarities, classic
epidemiology and clinical epidemiology differ in
aim. Classic epidemiologists pose a question
about the etiology of disease in a population of
people etiologic factors can be manipulated to
prevent disease. Clinical epidemiologists pose a
question about the prognosis of a disease in a
population of patients prognosis is the
probability that an event or diagnosis will
result in a particular outcome.
34
Scientific Writing, HRP 214compare to outline
35
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Before you start writing, ask
• What am I trying to say?
• When you finish writing, ask
• Have I said it?

36
Scientific Writing, HRP 214, paragraph example 2
Most scents remain constant in their quality over
orders of magnitude of concentration (12).
Nevertheless, at high concentrations, quality
tends to be negatively correlated with intensity,
as was the case, for example, for the cinnamon
oil used in this study. Hence, reliability of
absolute scorings was achieved by calibrating the
amount of perfume ingredients with initial
ratings for intensity against a reference
substance of known concentration. The final
concentrations were in principal chosen in a way
such that individual ratings showed variance
among participants within the sliding scale
between 0 and 10 (meaning that people could
decide whether they liked a scent or not). This
procedure seemed successful for most scents
however, the concentrations for bergamot (highest
average ratings) and vetiver (lowest average
rating) could probably been reduced even more, as
both scents did not show any discriminating power
at the level of common alleles (people agreed
largely on the quality of these two scents) (see
Table 2). Interestingly, the pooled rare alleles
showed discriminating power for
Word count 212
37
Whats the paragraph trying to convey? (outline)
A. If the concentration is too high, the smell
may be too overpowering and this may affect
quality ratings.
i. This is not a problem here because we
standardized intensity.
B. The concentrations are appropriate if they
produce sufficient variability in quality
ratings.
i. This appeared true for most scents, with two
exceptions.
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Scientific Writing, HRP 214, paragraph example 2
Perfume quality and intensity may be negatively
correlated (if a scent is too strong, most people
will reject it independent of their preference).
Hence, we chose the final concentration of each
perfume ingredient so that it had similar
intensity to a reference scent (1-butanol). The
resulting concentrations appeared appropriate for
most scents, as participants preferences varied
along the sliding scale between 0 and 10.
However, people largely agreed on the quality of
bergamot (highest average ratings) and vetiver
(lowest average rating), so lower concentrations
may have been needed for these scents.
Word count 91
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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Paragraph organization tips
• 1. Avoid a succession of loose sentences
  (monotonous).
• 2. Paragraph flow is helped by
• parallel sentence structures
• logical flow of ideas
• if necessary, transition words
• 3. Your reader remembers the first sentence and
  the last sentence best. Make the last sentence
  memorable. Emphasis at the end!

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Paragraph organization tips
• Avoid a succession of loose sentences
  (monotonous).
• --Outlining and organizing can help arrange
  ideas.
• --But, when stringing together a series of
  ideas, dont forget to vary sentence structure
  for readability.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214
Example from Strunk and White The third concert
of the subscription series was given last
evening, and a large audience was in attendance.
Mr. Edward Appleton was the soloist, and the
Boston Symphony Orchestra furnished the
instrumental music. The former showed himself to
be an artist of the first rank, while the latter
proved itself fully deserving of its high
reputation. The interest aroused by the series
has been very gratifying to the Committee, and it
is planned to give a similar series annually
hereafter. The fourth concert will be given on
Tuesday, May 10, when an equally attractive
program will be presented.
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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• 2. Paragraph flow is helped by
• parallel sentence structures
• logical flow of ideas
• if necessary, transition words

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• logical flow of ideas
• Sequential in time
• General? specific
• Logical arguments (if a then b a therefore b)

44
Scientific Writing, HRP 214example
Usually, when a defendant absconds, a bondsman
hires a bounty hunter to find and arrest him
within the grace period (which, in California, is
six months). If that fails, the bondman tries to
seize any collateral that the defendant put down
to secure the bond, or sues the defendants
indemnitors, who signed the bail application as
guarantors. But Zabala hadnt put down any
collateral, and so far Greenone of the few
bondsmen who always do their own bounty
huntinghad found neither him nor his
indemnitors. The grace period was nearly up.
Soon, Green would have to pay the court
thirty-one thousand dollars.
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Scientific Writing, HRP 214organized by time
sequence and general? specific
1. First, a bondsman hires a bounty hunter to
find and arrest the defendant within the grace
period. 2. Then, if that fails, the bondman
seizes collateral or sues indemnitors. 3. Now,
in this specific case, the defendant (Zabala) is
AWOL and has no collateral or available
indemnitors 4. Conclusion the bondswoman
(Green) is out of options. Notice how the
author didnt need to write first, then, in
this specific case, or conclusion? the
organization of sentences and context gives
readers these clues without spelling them out
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Scientific Writing, HRP 214examine the logical
structure

• A bondsman has these and only these options
• Hire a bounty hunter to find and arrest the guy
  within a grace period.
• If (1) fails, seize collateral or sue indemnitor.
• Pay the money herself.
• In this case,
• Grace period nearly done without arrest.
• No collaterol, no indemnitors.
• ? Green (the bondswoman) will be responsible for
  the 31,000.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214transitions used
Usually, when a defendant absconds, a bondsman
hires a bounty hunter to find and arrest him
within the grace period (which, in California, is
six months). If that fails, the bondman tries to
seize any collateral that the defendant put down
to secure the bond, or sues the defendants
indemnitors, who signed the bail application as
guarantors. But Zabala hadnt put down any
collateral, and so far Greenone of the few
bondsmen who always do their own bounty
huntinghad found neither him nor his
indemnitors. The grace period was nearly up.
Soon, Green would have to pay the court
thirty-one thousand dollars.
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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• 3. Your reader remembers the first sentence and
  the last sentence best. Make the last sentence
  memorable.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• But Zabala hadnt put down any collateral, and
  so far Greenone of the few bondsmen who always
  do their own bounty huntinghad found neither him
  nor his indemnitors. The grace period was nearly
  up. Soon, Green would have to pay the court
  thirty-one thousand dollars.
• Long, short, long.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• But Zabala hadnt put down any collateral, and
  so far Greenone of the few bondsmen who always
  do their own bounty huntinghad found neither him
  nor his indemnitors. The grace period was nearly
  up. Soon, Green would have to pay the court
  thirty-one thousand dollars.
• Long, short, long.
• Nice sentence variety and build-up to the
  conclusion.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Finally, organizing the whole story

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Compositional organization
• Like ideas should be grouped.
• Like paragraphs should be grouped.
• Dont Bait-and-Switch your reader too many
  times.
• When discussing a controversy, follow
• arguments (all)
• counter-arguments (all)
• rebuttals (all)

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214
Organizing your thoughts Do you have a
system? If you dont, get one. Spend more time
organizing and less time writing. Its just
plain less painful! The 101 feature-story
ratio 10 parts organization/research 1 part
writing.
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Scientific Writing, HRP 214
Develop a road-map. Think in paragraphs and
sections
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Interviews

• Swap from last time
• What brought you to Stanfordspiritually,
  literally, or otherwise?
• Then each take 10 minutes to write up a 1-2
  paragraph mini profile (SHORT, PUNCHY, CLEVER,
  HUMOROUS) of the other person. Use at least one
  dash or colon and at least one sentence with
  parallel construction.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• And finally
• This weeks Top 5 countdown

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• 1. Do not use they or their when the
  antecedent is singular (but can vary gender
  references)
• Every one of us knows they are fallible.
• Every one of us knows she is fallible.
• Each student pulled out their notebook.
• Each student pulled out his notebook.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• 2. Prevalence v. Incidence
• Incidence is a RATE
• ? how many new cases develop per unit of
  population per unit of time?
• Prevalence is a PROPORTION
• ? how widespread is a given disease?

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• principle v. principal
• Principle is a fundamental truth or law
• Principal is a leader
• The schools principal declared it a holiday.
  (mnemonic your pal)
• Her principles were impeccable.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• rational v. rationale
• Rational is an adjective, meaning sane or
  logical.
• Rationale is a noun, meaning justification.
• She was a rational human being.
• Their rationale for the move was that it would
  save a great deal of money.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• 5. To hyphenate or not to hyphenate, that is the
  questionunits
• Hyphenate multiple adjectives that modify a noun.
  
• The ball was 21 feet in diameter. (noun)
• The ball had a 21-foot diameter. (adjective)
• The machine carried a 44-pound scientific
  payload.
• The machine carried 44 pounds in science
  equipment.

62
Scientific Writing, HRP 214Homework

• Read chapters 11-12 of Sin and Syntax (pp.
  169-195)
• Exercise paragraph rewrites

63
Scientific Writing, HRP 214Preview to next time

• For next time
• words? sentences? paragraphs? compositions
• ? revision
• Bringing it all together and revising.