Compare and contrast the ways in which the authors of The Last Night and King Schahriar and His Brother portray a

1
Compare and contrast the ways in which the
authors of The Last Night and King Schahriar and
His Brother portray a last night under a
tyrannous regime.

• Set 2, 5th Form
• Draft essay feedback
• imej November 2011

2
Warning

• In this PowerPoint you will see examples of real
  essays
• You absolutely must not copy any part of these
• This presentation is to demonstrate how to
  improve your work
• If you copy, or lift, or extensively re-word any
  of what you see here, you are committing
  plagiarism

3
A popular 1998 British novel, also successful
film www.sebastianfaulks.com/index.php?page_id
29
4
The Persian tale The One Thousand and one
Nightshttp//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_Thousand_
and_One_Nights
Use webpage info as context in your essay
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What does this question want from me?

• Compare and contrast the ways in which
• the authors of The Last Night
• and King Schahriar and His Brother portray a
  last night
• under a tyrannous regime.

• show similarities and differences
• technically - Lang/Form/Structure
• how why they crafted it
• mid-extract of English novel 1998
• the opening of an old Persian tale
• think paint the picture
• consider the variation in the manner of these
  two last nights
• define what tyranny means what the word
  regime implies from what we (historically) know

6
Dumb mistakes

• Lack of proof checking
• Informal expression
• Not blending quotes
• Spell check not used
• Not writing the title at top
• Quotes too long
• No analysis of quotes
• Absence of technical terminology
• No topic sentences

• carelessness
• lazy writing
• ungrammatical writing
• missed opportunity
• rookie mistake
• failure to grasp key ideas
• not ATQ explicitly
• severely reduces chance of getting above a D
• shows inability to structure ideas for a
  critical reader

7
General Problems

• Dont use letters for titles
• Use King Schahriar and Last Night
• Lack of knowledge of Last Night beyond that
  covered in class (all the same quotes used!)
• Poor knowledge and understanding of King
  Schahriar

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You must grasp (and show)

• Each authors text has different purposes
• The texts are also a product of their differing
  epochs
• The authors are alert to the expectations and
  knowledge of their readers
• Therefore, authors have chosen specific genres
  their stories
• Consequently, the structure of events (the
  narrative) matters for effect
• Thus, language choices are consciously made for
  most apt impact

Explore? Entertain? Imagine? Warn? Argue?
Advise? What cultural factors are at play behind
the creation of texts? How do aural readers
differ in needs to modern readers of
well-established authors? Genres have rules
(conventions) impact of these? How do the
genres shape what can be done in the
narrative? Find these choices across the texts
and tie to apparent purpose, use technical terms.
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What do I need to demonstrate?

• Originality of analysis and interpretation when
  evaluating texts.
• Make cogent and critical responses to texts in
  which they explore and evaluate alternative and
  original interpretations.

• Show flair and precision in developing ideas with
  reference to structure.
• Make subtle and discriminating comparisons, where
  appropriate, within and between texts.

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What does that mean?

• Originality of analysis and interpretation when
  evaluating texts.
• Make cogent and critical responses to texts in
  which they explore and evaluate alternative and
  original interpretations.
• Show flair and precision in developing ideas with
  reference to structure.
• Make subtle and discriminating comparisons, where
  appropriate, within and between texts.

• Originality fresh ideas/research
• Interpret make informed judgements
• Critical dont say everything is great!
• Evaluate weigh up evidence
• Alternatives consider them
• Develop ideas should grow through the essay
• Structure order in the stories
• Within and between identify
  language/theme/structure features across parts of
  the same text show how they reveal (probable)
  authorial purpose

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Your opening paragraph

• The concept of a last night under tyrannous
  regime fills any readership in any era with a
  sense of the terminal. Yet in the case of these
  two texts, spanned by over a thousand years and
  two continents, very different impressions are
  created. On the one hand, the modern reader of
  Faulks approaches his 1998 English language
  extract (called here The Last Night) with
  knowledge of well-documents crimes from the Nazi
  era of French collaboration and (inevitably)
  the fate of the Jews. On the other hand, we
  probably approach King with less received
  wisdom the Persian text - handed down in aural
  tradition - is presented here through the filter
  of a translators pen the stories themselves
  likely known of through the fanciful celluloid of
  Disney, thus rendering a equally barbarous theme
  almost romanticised, as tale of a plucky young
  girl pitching her wits for a thousand and one
  nights against a nameless Ruler. Each author,
  then, has made choices in the modern era to use
  structure, form and language for maximum and
  calculated impact upon readers, who may vary in
  their interpretations of their achievements.

• Purpose to sum up the big ideas of the tales
• and the apparent purposes of the authors
• Avoid I refer to readers or we
• Show understanding of the question
• Use key terms and also synonyms for them
• Lay out your thesis
• This one is okay

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Structure Form

•  
• A shape
• an arrangement of parts
• the mode in which the thing exists arrangement
  and style of a literary composition.
• For example, a sonnet in a form of poetry.

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Structure Plot

•  
• The sequence of events that make up a story.

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Structure Narrative

•  
• The way the events in a story are put together.

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The Last Night Main Ideas

• What are they? List them now
• Share ideas

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King Schahriar Main Ideas

• What are they? List them now
• Share ideas

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Conjunctions of agreement, addition and
similarity to use
again to also then equally identically uniquely li
ke as too moreover as well as together with of
course likewise comparatively correspondingly simi
larly furthermore additionally

• in the first place
• not only ...
• but
• also
• as a matter of fact
• in like manner
• in addition
• coupled
• within the same fashion
• first, second, third
• in the light of
• not to mention
• to say nothing of
• equally important
• by the same token

• Transitional devices like also, in addition, and,
  likewise, add information, reinforce ideas, and
  express agreement with preceding material.

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How are conjunctions used here to show ideas, and
effect, in both texts?

• How many conjunctions are there?
• What ideas do they connect?
• Where is effect (impact) discussed?
• When does the writer of the essay make judgements
  about the texts?

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For the rest of the phrases you need, go to

• http//www.smart-words.org/transition-words.htmlt
  ransition

think calculate conjecture fancy guess hypothesiz
e imagine infer intuit presume presuppose reason
reckon speculate surmise suspect
theorize difference contrast disagreement discr
epancy dissimilarity distinction divergence incomp
atibility unlikeness variation bad amiss atrociou
s coarse contaminated contemptible corrupt crappy
cruddy crummy defective deficient deplorable dep
raved disagreeable dismal dissatisfactory evil ex
ecrable fault foul ghastly grungy harmful heinous
icky improper infamous inferior injurious junk
y lousy nasty nefarious off poor
quality putrid rotten scandalous sinful sinister
snide spoiled substandard tainted the
pits uncouth wicked etc etc etc etc etc etc etc
etc etc
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What strenghts and weaknesses does this opening
paragraph have?

• The Last Night is an extract from the 1998
  British novel Charlotte Gray, by Sebastian
  Faulks. It is set during German-occupied France
  during World War II, specifically depicting round
  up of Jews from their internal exile in
  ghettos. They were taken to concentration camps
  to be killed or to be used as slaves. The Last
  Night tells the story of two orphaned boys in
  France in the 1940s, who are waiting to be taken
  to the concentration camp. King Schahriar and
  his brother, is a story from The Arabian
  Nights. This story begins the cycle of stories
  and so it sets a mood for the rest. This story
  tells a tale of how a Sultan feels that all women
  should be punished, due to his late wife
  betraying her loving husband. Consequently, the
  Sultan marries a women everyday (found by the
  grand-vizir) and has a wife killed the following
  morning. I will compare and contrast The Last
  Night with King Schahriar and his brother
  throughout this essay in order to understand how
  the authors portray a last night under a
  tyrannous regime.

• Needs to examine what a last night is
• To define tyranny
• To explore author/reader relationship

• Answer the question
• Rather long on plot but sets con

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Analyse why this is effective writing
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Because

• Crisp topic sentence
• Comments on both texts, with focus
• Blended quotes (if rather long)
• Clear Point/Evidence/Comment form
• Technical lexis, esp. subliminally

• Under developed for one paragraph
• Lacks any real language analysis
• Could afford swifter cross-connections within the
  same texts

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Why this is effective writing about structure?
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Because

• Topic sentence addresses structure
• Excellent expression see third line
• Readers response examined in both
• Text referred to, even without quotes
• Explicitly answers the question how many times
  is it echoed above?

• Could cross-reference within same texts more
• Alternative interpretation is needed
• Doesnt mention authors/intentions

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Why this is (mostly good) analysis?
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Why this is (mostly good) writing about effect?
What errors are there?
Linked to this point the author of King s. and
his b. uses very emotive language, and
superlatives to show parental love for the
children, The behaviour caused the greatest
horror, where nothing was heard but cries and
lamentations. In one house was a father weeping
for the loss of his daughter. This creates a
horrible sense of separation and again makes the
reader empathise with the parents of the family
and makes them wish they are never placed in
position like this, also it vilifies the king yet
further as to split a family up is a horrendous
thing to do. In the last night the author also
uses strong and intense language to demonstrate
parental love, he saw a womans face in which
the eyes were fixed with terrible ferocity on a
child beside him She was looking to remember for
ever Again in this like in King s. and his b.
this has a big impact on the reader as it makes
them feel so sorry for those who are separated
from their children and it makes the Nazis seem
even worse then they were perceived as before.
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Editing verbose work

• Loose, inefficient expression

• Crisper says far more

• As K.S.B is the introduction to The Arabian
  Nights- a religious and traditional chain of
  stories, the style of this tale is different to
  The Last Night. K.S.B uses an explicit
  approach in the text in the way that it tells the
  tale exactly how it is. We know this as hardly
  any metaphors are used to create imagery for the
  readers to decipher themselves. The effect of
  this is that the text comes across as being
  straight to the point and less complicated.

• King is the introduction to The Arabian
  Nights- a religious and traditional chain of
  stories and clearly in a different style to
  that of The Last Night. King uses an
  explicit approach hardly any metaphors are used,
  thus showing that the authors main concern is
  with pace in narrative and relatively simple
  engagement of readers, whereas Faulkss more
  poetic style creates grimly ironic atmosphere for
  historically alter readership.

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Compare and contrast the ways in which the
authors of The Last Night and King Schahriar and
His Brother portray a last night under a
tyrannous regime.

• essay feedback
• imej
• November 2011