The Soft Side of Software Engineering

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The Soft Side of Software EngineeringPart
IIThe Enneagram

• Todd Little A Five

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Video

• How many people know about the Enneagram?
• How many people think they know their type?

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Overview and History

• Ennea (nine) gram (written).
• A geometric figure that maps out nine fundamental
  personality types of human nature and their
  complex interrelationships.
• A development of modern psychology that has roots
  in spiritual wisdom from many different ancient
  traditions.
• Each type formulates early in childhood (or
  before). The innocent child is put forth into a
  world and discovers that something is not right,
  a lost essential quality.
• This lost essential quality is replaced by a
  compensating belief. This belief is a
  self-protection strategy that has served well but
  is likely to have outlived its usefulness.
• Work with the Enneagram begins when you identify
  your type and begin to understand its dominant
  issues a process of self-observation,
  self-understanding and self-discovery.
• Provides a path to growth, as well as
  watch-outs for disintegration.

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Why the Enneagram?

• Relationship to MBTI/Jungian Type
• Preference vs. Defense mechanism
• Self-Understanding and the path of Transcendence
• Understanding others
• Valuing diversity
• How to work effectively with other types
• Dealing with hot-buttons

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Theory, FAQ

• How does one become a type?
• Lost Essential Quality
• Compensating Belief
• Coping Strategy
• Do you ever change type?
• No, although the impact of the compulsion can be
  modified by the path of transcendence.
• Many say that one is of truest type in their 20s
• Can I be more than one type?
• Everybody exhibits attributes and behaviors of
  all types, but only one type really maps the
  defense mechanism. The search for the compulsion
  will reveal type.

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Caveats

• For many people discovering their type is a
  multi-year process.
• Beware of tests
• Beware of typing others based on their behavior
• Beware of stereotyping
• Do not underestimate the depth of the Enneagram
• Start by looking at a few possible types
• Look to the compulsion, often a blind spot

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Now Break all the Rules

• Pseudo-Test
• The Essential Enneagram David Daniels
• Listen for which description matches well
• Consider each paragraph as a whole, not just
  individual sentences
• Mark as follows
• Like me
• Somewhat like me
• Neutral
• Not really like me
• Not like me
• Order the top 3 most like you (1-3)

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A.

• I approach things in an all-or-none way,
  especially issues that matter to me. I place a
  lot of value on being strong, honest, and
  dependable. What you see is what you get. I don't
  trust others until they have proven themselves to
  be reliable. I like people to be direct with me,
  and I know when someone is being devious, lying,
  or trying to manipulate me. I have a hard time
  tolerating weakness in people, unless I
  understand the reason for their weakness or I see
  that they're trying to do something about it. I
  also have a hard time following orders or
  directions if I do not respect or agree with the
  person in authority. I am much better at taking
  charge myself. I find it difficult not to display
  my feelings when I am angry. I am always ready to
  stick up for friends or loved ones, especially if
  I think they are being treated unjustly. I may
  not win every battle with others, but they'll
  know I've been there.

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B.

• I have high internal standards for correctness,
  and I expect myself to live up to those
  standards. It's easy for me to see what's wrong
  with things as they are, and to see how they
  could be improved. I may come across to some
  people as overly critical or demanding
  perfection, but it's hard for me to ignore or
  accept things that are not done the right way. I
  pride myself on the fact that if I'm responsible
  for doing something, you can be sure I'll do it
  right. I sometimes have feelings of resentment
  when people don't try to do things properly or
  when people act irresponsibly or unfairly,
  although I usually try not to show it to them
  openly. For me, it is usually work before
  pleasure, and I suppress my desires as necessary
  to get the work done.

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C.

• I seem to be able to see all points of view
  pretty easily. I may even appear indecisive at
  times because I can see advantages and
  disadvantages on all sides. The ability to see
  all sides makes me good at helping people resolve
  their differences. This same ability can
  sometimes lead me to be more aware of other
  people's positions, agendas, and personal
  priorities than of my own. It is not unusual for
  me to become distracted and then to get off task
  on the important things I'm trying to do. When
  that happens, my attention is often diverted to
  unimportant trivial tasks. I have a hard time
  knowing what is really important to me, and I
  avoid conflict by going along with what others
  want. People tend to consider me to be easygoing,
  pleasing and agreeable. It takes a lot to get me
  to the point of showing my anger directly at
  someone. I like life to be comfortable,
  harmonious, and accepting.

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D.

• I am sensitive to other people's feelings. I can
  see what they need, even when I don't know them.
  Sometimes it's frustrating to be so aware of
  people's needs, especially their pain or
  unhappiness, because I'm not able to do as much
  for them as I'd like to. It's easy for me to give
  of myself. I sometimes wish I were better at
  saying "no' because I end up putting more energy
  into caring for others than into taking care of
  myself. It hurts my feelings if people think I'm
  trying to manipulate or control them, when all
  I'm trying to do is understand and help them. I
  like to be seen as a warmhearted and good person,
  but when I'm not taken into account or
  appreciated I can become very emotional or even
  demanding. Good relationships mean a great deal
  to me and I'm willing to work hard to make them
  happen.

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E.

• Being the best at what I do is a strong motivator
  for me, and I have received a lot of recognition
  over the years for my accomplishments. I get a
  lot done and am successful in almost everything I
  take on. I identify strongly with what I do,
  because to a large degree I think your value is
  based on what you accomplish and the recognition
  you get for it. I always have more to do than
  will fit into the time available, so I often set
  aside feelings and self-reflection in order to
  get things done. Because there's always something
  to do, I find it hard to just sit and do nothing.
  I get impatient with people who don't use my time
  well. Sometimes I would rather just take over a
  project someone is completing too slowly. I like
  to feel and appear "on top" of any situation.
  While I like to compete, I am also a good team
  player.

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F.

• I would characterize myself as a quiet,
  analytical person who needs more time alone than
  most people do. I usually prefer to observe what
  is going on than to be involved in the middle of
  it. I don't like people to place too many demands
  on me or to expect me to know and report what I
  am feeling. I'm able to get in touch with my
  feelings better when alone than with others, and
  often enjoy experiences I've had more when
  reliving them than when actually going through
  them. I'm almost never bored when alone, because
  I have an active mental life. It is important for
  me to protect my time and energy, and hence, to
  live a simple, uncomplicated life and to be as
  self- sufficient as possible.

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G.

• I have a vivid imagination, especially when it
  comes to what might be threatening to safety and
  security. I can usually spot what could be
  dangerous or harmful and may experience as much
  fear as if it were really happening. I either
  always avoid danger or always challenge it head
  on. My imagination also leads to my ingenuity and
  a good, if somewhat offbeat, sense of humor. I
  would like for life to be more certain, but, in
  general, I seem to doubt the people and things
  around me. I can usually see the shortcomings in
  the view someone is putting forward. I suppose
  that, as a consequence, some people may consider
  me to be very astute. I tend to be suspicious of
  authority and am not particularly comfortable
  being seen as the authority. Because I can see
  what is wrong with the generally held view of
  things, I tend to identify with underdog causes.
  Once I have committed myself to a person or
  cause, I am very loyal to it.

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H.

• I am an optimistic person who enjoys coming up
  with new and interesting things to do. I have a
  very active mind that quickly moves back and
  forth between different ideas. I like to get a
  global picture of how all these ideas fit
  together, and I get excited when I can connect
  concepts that initially don't appear to be
  related. I like to work on things that interest
  me, and I have a lot of energy to devote to them.
  I have a hard time sticking with unrewarding and
  repetitive tasks. I like to be in on the
  beginning of a project, during the planning
  phase, when there may be many interesting options
  to consider. When I have exhausted my interest in
  something, it is difficult for me to stay with
  it, because I want to move on to the next thing
  that has captured my interest. If something gets
  me down, I prefer to shift my attention to more
  pleasant ideas. I believe people are entitled to
  an enjoyable life.

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I.

• I am a sensitive person with intense feelings. I
  often feel misunderstood and lonely, because I
  feel different from everyone else. My behavior
  can appear like drama to others, and I have been
  criticized for being overly sensitive and
  over-amplifying my feelings. What is really going
  on inside is my longing for both emotional
  connection and a deeply felt experience of
  relationship. I have difficulty fully
  appreciating present relationships because of my
  tendency to want what I can't have and to disdain
  what I do have. The search for emotional
  connection has been with me all my life and the
  absence of emotional connection has led to
  melancholy and depression. I sometimes wonder why
  other people seem to have more than I do-better
  relation- ships and happier lives. I have a
  refined sense of aesthetics and I experience a
  rich world of emotions and meaning.

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Final Answer

• Rate the top 3 most like you, in order

• How many?
• Will not answer no matter what I ask?
• A
• B
• C
• D
• E
• F
• G
• H
• I

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The Types
C
A
B
H
D
E
G
I
F
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Body Types
C
The Mediator
9
A
B
The Perfectionist
The Boss
8
1
Body Types - 8, 9, 1. The Body Types all have
issues relating to their anger and with relating
to others. Eights, who are assertive and
hard-working, tend to overexpress their anger.
Nines, who are friendly and laid-back are most
out of touch with their anger. Ones, who have
perfectionist tendencies, often suppress emotions
and underexpress their anger.
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Heart Types
Heart Types - 2, 3, 4. The Heart Types all have
issues relating to their feelings, or to be
specific, with their image. Twos, who can
sometimes seem intrusive and overly-emotional
over-express their feelings. Threes, who tend to
ignore their feelings in order to get the job
done, and be successful, are the most out of
touch with their feelings. Fours, who despite
feeling emotions deeply, usually don't like to
express them directly, and instead communicate
usually through subtle communication or an art
form, and therefore underexpress their feelings.
D
The Giver
2
The Performer
3
E
The Romantic
4
I
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Head Types
Head Types - 5, 6, 7. The Head Types all have
issues with their thoughts, or to be specific,
fear and anxiety. Fives, who are removed from the
physical world because they are frightened of it
in a way, live in their minds, and often
overexpress their thoughts. Sixes, who can't
trust themselves nor anybody on the outside are
caught in fear, and are thus most out of touch
with their thoughts. Sevens who are afraid of
introspection, turn to the outside world for
action and experience, making them underexpress
their thoughts.
H
The Epicure
7
The Loyal Skeptic
6
G
5
The Observer
F
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Issues for each type

• Lost Essential Quality
• Compensating Belief
• What do I want most?
• What is most important to me?
• What is the worst thing that could happen to me?
• How do I see myself (on a good day)?

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1 The Perfectionist (B)

• Motto Let MY conscience be YOUR guide
• Lost Essential Quality Perfection
• Compensating Belief
• I must gain worthiness and love through being
  good and perfecting myself.
• I want to be morally right, to improve myself so
  that no one will be able to say that I am not
  good.
• It is important to me that people behave as they
  should
• The worst thing that could happen to me is that I
  become morally corrupt, a failure in my own eyes
• I am a person with high principleslogical and
  orderly.

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1
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2 The Giver (D)

• Motto If you want to be loved, be lovable
• Lost Essential Quality Universal will
• Compensating Belief
• To get I must give. To be loved I must be needed.
• I want to love and be loved, to be helpful, and
  to be appreciated for what I do.
• It is important to me that others see me as
  loving and helpful.
• The worst thing that could happen to me would be
  to have to live with people who dont appreciate
  me or care about me.
• I am a warm, loving, and helpful person

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2
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3 The Performer (E)

• Motto Early to bed, early to rise, work like
  hell and advertise.
• Work harder, not smarter.
• Work is more fun than fun
• Lost Essential Quality Hope
• Compensating Belief
• The world rewards doing, not being.
• I want to be noticed, to be admired for doing
  things well.
• It is important that others see me as being
  successful.
• The worst thing that could happen to me is that I
  fail at something and other people find out.
• I am self-confident, competitive, attractive, a
  winner.

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3
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4 The Romantic (I)

• Motto I feel so bad since youve gone, its
  almost like having you here.
• Lost Essential Quality Original Connection
• Compensating Belief
• I am deficient and something really important is
  missing which must be regained.
• I want to be understood and to understand myself.
• It is important for me to find a meaning and a
  purpose in my life.
• The worst thing that could happen to me is for
  people to think that there is something
  emotionally wrong with me.
• I am thoughtful, sincere, sensitive, and
  emotionally intense.

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4
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5 The Observer (F)

• Motto Why one has to have a body, I dont know.
  A necessary appendage to the head, I suppose.
• You can observe a lot just by watching Yogi
  Berra
• Lost Essential Quality Omniscience
• Compensating Belief
• The world demands too much and gives too little.
• I want to know, to understand everything around
  me.
• It is important to me that I see things clearly
  and correctly.
• The worst thing that could happen to me is that
  my ideas be wrong, incorrect.
• I am very perceptive and a person who sees things
  more clearly than others.

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5
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6 The Loyal Skeptic (G)

• Motto I dont like being afraid. It scares me.
• Lost Essential Quality Faith
• Compensating Belief
• The world is dangerous.
• I want to belong, to be safe in my own kind of
  friendly group.
• It is important to me that people be straight and
  fair with me.
• The worst thing that could happen to me is that
  someone I trust betrays me.
• I am strong-minded, friendly, and cautious.

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6
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6
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7 The Epicure (H)

• Motto When choosing between two evils, I always
  like to take the one Ive never tried before.
  Mae West
• Lost Essential Quality Sustained Concentration
• Compensating Belief
• The world limits and frustrates people and causes
  pain which can be escaped.
• I want happiness, excitement, to discover, and to
  do new things.
• It is important to me to always have a plan for
  what happens next. I always have plan for the
  future.
• The worst thing that could happen to me would be
  to be bored and broke.
• I am friendly, fun-loving, and able to do well at
  whatever I choose to do.

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7
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8 The Boss (A)

• Motto Never go to bed madstay up and fight!.
• Lost Essential Quality Truth
• Compensating Belief
• This is a hard and unjust world in which the
  powerful take advantage of the innocent.
• I want to be in control, to lead, and to show
  that I am stronger than others.
• It is important that I be in control of what goes
  on around me.
• The worst thing that could happen to me is that
  things around me get out of control.
• I am different, independent, decisive, and
  respected.

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8
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9 The Mediator (C)

• Motto I always procrastinate when I get around
  to it.
• Lost Essential Quality Love
• Compensating Belief
• I am unimportant so I must blend in.
• I want peacefulness, to keep things as they are
  (or as they were).
• It is important that everyone get along with each
  other.
• The worst thing that could happen to me is to
  have to say no to someone and have that person
  get angry at me.
• I am a person who is friendly and easygoing, but
  I can be very stubborn sometimes.

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9
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The Enneagram and Teams

• Software Team
• Team SPeople
• People Unpredictable
• Hot-Buttons things to avoid doing
• Openings how to engage when in disagreement

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1 - Perfectionist

• Hot-Buttons
• Criticize or scold them. Question their
  integrity. Dont follow through with what you
  say you are going to do. Be chronically late.
• Openings
• Affirm their good intentions, their
  reasonableness, their integrity. Let them know
  that you are aware of how hard they are trying.

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2 - Helper

• Hot-Buttons
• Take them for granted. Dont thank them. Be
  indifferent to the friendliness. Accuse them of
  selfishness.
• Openings
• Affirm the friendship, the intimacy between you.
  Show appreciation. Reassure them that they
  matter to you.

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3 - Achiever

• Hot-Buttons
• Ignore them. Look down on them. Focus on their
  defeats or shortcomings. Dont include them. Be
  ineffectual or sloppy. Push for intimacy.
• Openings
• Give praise for accomplishments. Affirm their
  personal valuenot just their performance. Allow
  space for feelings to emerge, but dont demand
  them.

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4 - Romantic

• Hot-Buttons
• Dismiss them. Disrupt their mood, their personal
  world. Behave crudely. Be inelegant, coarse, or
  insensitive to their feelings
• Openings
• Encourage them. Self-diagnose a similar fault or
  problem. Let them know that youll stay with
  them while they are working through their
  feelings.

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5 - Observer

• Hot-Buttons
• Question their competency. Intrude on them.
  Start organizing their things. Be closed-
  minded, or talk about things you dont really
  know about.
• Openings
• Be a quiet presence supplying support, but also
  plenty of space. Give time for a response.
  Engage them with topics of mutual interest.
  Write a letter.

---------- email
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6 Loyal Skeptic

• Hot-Buttons
• Dont pull your weight. Take the other point
  of view. Be secretive or evasive. Take
  advantage of their commitment.
• Openings
• Affirm your connection/friendship. Reassure them
  that youre not walking out, that youll stand by
  them. Remind them of past successes, solutions.

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7 - Epicure

• Hot-Buttons
• Restrict their freedom, limit their choices. Be
  a wet blanket, discouraging and pessimistic.
  Keep sharing your despair.
• Openings
• Acknowledge their underlying anxiety/fear. Its
  OK to be anxious or sad. Give them choices.
  Reassure them that you care, but leave the door
  open.

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8 - Boss

• Hot-Buttons
• Tell them what they can and cant do. Try to get
  an advantage over them. Be indecisive, indirect,
  or wimpy. Beat around the bush.
• Openings
• Tell them what you think or how you feel, simply
  and directly. Get to the point. Look them in
  the eye and say what you mean.

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9 - Mediator

• Hot-Buttons
• Disturb their peace, their calm. Yell. Direct
  anger at them. Be aggressive and
  confrontational. Make demands.
• Openings
• Be there. Gently ask about their state and what
  they want or need from the situation. Be patient
  in waiting for a response.

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Coping with Conflict and Difficulty

• Positive Outlook (Two, Seven, Nine)
• Adopt, as much as possible, a positive attitude
• Look at the bright side
• Morale builders make others feel good because
  they want to feel good
• Competency (One, Three, Five)
• Put their feelings aside and strive to be
  objective, effective, and competent
• Try to solve problems logically and expect others
  to do the same
• Have issues about how they work within a
  structure or system
• Reactive (Four, Six, Eight)
• React emotionally to conflicts and problems
• Want others to match their emotional state
• Need to deal with their feelings first, then can
  move on

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Coping Styles

• Positive Outlook Group Deny that they have any
  problems
• Two You have a problem. I am here to
  help you.
• Seven There may be a problem, but Im fine.
• Nine What problem? I dont think there
  is a problem.
• Competency Group Cut off feelings and solve
  problems logically
• One Im sure we can solve this like
  sensible, mature adults.
• Three Theres an efficient solution to this
  we just need to get to work.
• Five There are a number of hidden issues
  here let me think about this.
• Reactive Group React strongly and need response
  from others
• Four I feel really hurt, and I need to
  express myself.
• Six I feel really pressured, and Ive got
  to let off some steam.
• Eight Im really angry about this and youre
  going to hear about it!

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Danger of Stereotyping
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Software Engineering
Customer Support
Developers/Domain/Testing
Management
Sales
HR
Marketing/Sales/ Management
Developers/Testers/ Middle Management
Writers/Artists
Developers/Domain
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Relation to the MBTI
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Security and Stress
Security Move against the arrow
Stress Move with the arrow

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Deeper look into the 5

• The 5 in security - move to 8
• Become more direct
• Can also take on some of the petty tyrant aspects
  of an 8
• The 5 under stress/risk - move to 7
• When the major defenses of withdrawal and
  isolation are ineffective, a social façade may
  appear.
• May result in a genuine ability to enjoy the flow
  of events rather than to contract against
  surprise.
• In the worst case, attention scatters in a
  frantic search for any quick fix solution to buy
  time and save resources

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Heaven Hell for 5s

• Heaven
• Being paid a decent wage to pursue their own
  intellectual interests in a private office with
  co-workers who eagerly supply data.
• Hell
• Cubicles
• No Boundaries
• Too much intrusion

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Deeper look into the 5

• Pair Programming
• X-Scream Programming

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The Path of Transformation

• Start by understanding your type
• Usually one of two things happen
• Isnt it great that I am Type X
• Oh SHITI dont want to be Type X
• Opportunity is to understand the compulsion
• The compulsion will be present, once you can be
  present to the compulsion you may have a choice.
• For the 5
• Distinguish between Detachment, and
  Non-Attachment
• Live in the moment.
• Realize that energy is self-renewing

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Resources

• Books
• The Essential Enneagram, David Daniels
• The Enneagram Made Easy, Renee Baron Elizabeth
  Wagele (Recommended as 1st book)
• The Pocket Enneagram, Helen Palmer
• The Enneagram at Love and Work, Helen Palmer
• Principles of the Enneagram, Karen Webb
• Internet
• Video
• Nine Paths to a Productive and Fulfilling Life
• Helen Palmer Workshop in Austin