Gottman Couple Therapy, Feminist Family Therapy and Parts Models: Briefly Counseling 420, Introduction to Family Counseling. Dr. Jeffrey K Edwards, LMFT Department of Counselor Education, The Family Program, Northeastern Illinois University. Chicago, - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

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Gottman Couple Therapy, Feminist Family Therapy and Parts Models: Briefly Counseling 420, Introduction to Family Counseling. Dr. Jeffrey K Edwards, LMFT Department of Counselor Education, The Family Program, Northeastern Illinois University. Chicago,

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Title: Gottman Couple Therapy, Feminist Family Therapy and Parts Models: Briefly Counseling 420, Introduction to Family Counseling. Dr. Jeffrey K Edwards, LMFT Department of Counselor Education, The Family Program, Northeastern Illinois University. Chicago,


1
Gottman Couple Therapy, Feminist Family Therapy
and Parts Models BrieflyCounseling 420,
Introduction to Family Counseling. Dr. Jeffrey
K Edwards, LMFTDepartment of Counselor
Education, The Family Program,Northeastern
Illinois University. Chicago, IL
2
Gottman Couple Therapy
  • John M. Gottmans Laboratory at the University of
    Washington has dedicated over three decades
    toward the research of couples and couple
    therapy. They have hard data of both
    physiological and psychological events. Work is
    looking at both what makes couples fail and what
    makes them work.
  • The success or failure of a marriage does not
    depend on whether there is conflict in a
    relationship, but on how the conflict is handled.

3
Gottman Couple Therapy
  • The Four Horsemen expressions of specific
    negative behaviors.
  • Criticism
  • Contempt
  • Defensiveness
  • Stonewalling

4
Gottman Couple Therapy
  • The Four Horsemen expressions of specific
    negative behaviors.
  • Criticism more damaging than complaints.
    Includes character attacks, i.e., you never pick
    up after yourself, You are really boring. Also
    includes global complaints, i.e., You never..
    or You always

5
Gottman Couple Therapy
  • The Four Horsemen expressions of specific
    negative behaviors.
  • Contempt is most corrosive and more destructive
    than criticism. It conveys disgust and
    disrespect. It can include sarcasm, mockery,
    insults, eye rolls, scowls, and hostile humor to
    belittle the intended partner. Hinders any
    attempts at reconciliation, and usually includes
    an attitude of superiority.

6
Gottman Couple Therapy
  • The Four Horsemen expressions of specific
    negative behaviors.
  • Defensiveness Attempts to blame the partner for
    the aggressor's behavior. It usually becomes a
    counterattack. That escalates negativity.

7
Gottman Couple Therapy
  • The Four Horsemen expressions of specific
    negative behaviors.
  • Stonewalling an overwhelmed partner uses this
    to convey that (he) does not want to continue the
    interaction. It is usually a man, and the
    pattern is his withdrawal in the face of active
    pursuit and demands. Although the stonewaller
    appears hostile, his actual feelings are when is
    she going to stop.
  • Physical sense of emotional flooding, and the
    person is so overwhelmed that they cannot even
    listen. This, of course, only serves to
    infuriate the partner more, and provoke their
    mate to engage, discuss, and be accountable.

8
Gottman Couple Therapy
  • When all four horsemen are present, Gottman can
    predict with 94 accuracy a divorce or separation
    will occur, usually within the early part of the
    relationship.
  • Emotionally disengaged couples do not display the
    Four Horsemen, as they do not even care to get
    into these highly charged and emotionally
    embroiled battles. These couples live in quiet
    desperation but end up divorces usually within 7
    to 14 years. The relationship just slowly withers
    and dies.

9
Gottman Couple Therapy
  • Flooding the state of being emotionally and
    physically overwhelmed to the point of
    inattentiveness and inaction. Palms are sweating,
    heart rate increases to over 90 beats a minute,
    and breathing becomes shallow. At this point it
    is impossible to take in new information.
  • The partners need to take a break from the
    discussion and slow the (mans) heart rate.
    Partner needs to learn to read the signs and not
    pursue so actively. Engage in soothing
    activities.
  • Return to conflict discussion as soon as possible.

10
Gottman Couple Therapy
  • Some problems are never solved, only new ways of
    bringing up the problem or getting around it are
    found. Find a degree of peace around it, and
    recognize that some issues will never be solved.
  • Accept influence from each other. During an
    argument, yielding order to win in the
    relationship. Finding a point of agreement, not
    yielding to others will or point or surrendering
    oneself. (car in traffic analogy)

11
Gottman Couple Therapy
  • Repair attempts
  • Interactions that decrease negative escalations.
  • Goofy faces
  • Saying something off beat
  • Gives a brief diversion from the conflict
  • Happy Couples use repair attempts all the time
  • Response to repair attempts are usually positive
  • Use them early in any conflict.

12
Gottman Couple Therapy
  • Bid Turn
  • An invitation to interact is a bid. (bid for
    attention)
  • Partners response will either improve or erode
    the relationship. Happily married couples rarely
    ignore their partners bids. 85 of bids are met
    with positive responses.
  • Playful bids good natured teasing, gentle
    physical sparring of different sorts.
  • Have better access to humor, and a bank of
    positive feelings about the relationship to rely
    on.

13
Gottman Couple Therapy
  • Re writing the past
  • A couples description of the past predicts the
    future of the relationship.
  • Those couples with negative views of the past,
    deeply entrenched in that view.
  • Happy couples highlight their good memories.
  • Oral History Interview
  • Beginning of relationship
  • Philosophy of marriage (togetherness)
  • How relationship has changed over time
  • What marriage was like in F.O.

14
Gottman Couple Therapy
  • Happy marriages look fondly at the beginnings.
    Even if things were not perfect, they tend to
    highlight the positives, and joke about the low
    points. Remember how positive they felt in the
    beginning.
  • Unhappy marriages
  • Negativity toward spouse
  • Chaotic perceptions of life together
  • Disappointment/Disillusionment

15
Gottman Couple Therapy
  • Happy Couples
  • Fondness and admiration still in love.
  • Remember first impressions with good feelings
  • Believe that their spouse is worthy of
    admiration.
  • Even though they acknowledge flaws in partner,
    they still have a sense that they are worthy
    honor and respect. When this sense is gone,
    relationship cannot be revived.
  • Aware of Love Maps
  • Expressive and descriptive of relationship
  • Intimately familiar with partners world.
  • Remember major events in each others world and
    keep updating these as they grow together.

16
Gottman Couple Therapy
  • Happy Couples
  • Glorifying the Struggle
  • Happy couples approach their hardships as trials
    to be overcome believe that the struggles make
    the relationship stronger (raising my kids)
    (families opposed to marriage, yet succeeding)
  • Realizing that even the struggles within the
    relationship are what makes them strong and was
    worth the struggle.
  • We-ness
  • Languaging the togetherness. Have same beliefs
    and values. We built the house together.

17
Gottman Couple Therapy
  • Finally, the influence of the New Father
  • The couples friendship buffers their struggle
    through transition to parenthood.
  • It is the fathers fondness, awareness and lack
    of being negative during their early years that
    buffers his wifes negativity during childbirth.
  • Gottman, J.

18
Feminist Family Therapy Rachel
Hare-Mustin, Betty Carter, Peggy Papp, Olga
Silverstein, Marianne Walters.
  • As the feminist movement emerged in the late
    1960s continuing into the 1970s, the basic
    assumptions of family therapy were challenged. Up
    until this point theoretical discussion on the
    differences between men and women in spite of the
    difference in male and female socialization were
    essentially non-existent. Men and women were seen
    as equals in families in spite of the inequity in
    terms of distribution of power. Women were held
    just as accountable as men were even in the area
    of domestic violence and sexual abuse.

19
Feminist Family Therapy
  • Feminism has been described as a way in which one
    views and understands realities. Feminism is a
    process that begins with the recognition of the
    inferior status of women and looks at the
    specific forms and causes of that inequality.

20
Feminist Family Therapy
  • Feminist Family Therapy is "the application of
    feminist theory and values to family therapy"
    (Goodrich, Rampage, Ellman Halstead, 1988).
    Gender roles and socialization affect each
    individual in the family system as well as their
    interpersonal relationships in the system. Gender
    roles affect relationships between the family and
    society as well as the client and therapist
    exchange (P. Colucci-Corritt, 1999).

21
Feminist Family Therapy
  • Complementarity when applied to married couples
    does not take into consideration that women are
    ultimately at a disadvantage living in a society
    structured by law, social custom, and religious
    doctrine which keeps the women in a disadvantaged
    position ( Goodrich, Rampage, Ellman Halstead,
    1988)
  • When there are issues that are clearly sexist the
    neutral therapist is perpetuating the inequality
    by the very fact that he or she is remaining
    neutral.
  • Circularity suggests that responsibility for
    interactional dyads remains equal. If we apply
    this concept to domestic violence, it holds her
    equally responsible for the abuse as him. He is
    more powerful than she is but she is "equally to
    blame".
  • (P. Colucci-Corritt, 1999).

22
Feminist Family Therapy
  • Three gender-based assumptions define male-female
    roles, which feminists struggle to change
  • 1. Men believe they should always have the
    privilege and the right to control womens lives.
  • 2. Women believe they are responsible for
    whatever goes wrong in a human relationship
  • 3. Women believe men are essential for their
    well-being - essential rather than merely
    desirable or enjoyable. Gender role stereotyping
    hurts families.

23
Feminist Family Therapy
  • Feminist family therapy holds that
  • Both men and women are accountable for the
    quality of marital and family life.
  • Rather than rigid role definition and difference,
    good relationships are marked by mutuality,
    reciprocity and interdependence.
  • All people responsible for fostering the growth
    of our children are charged both with nurturing
    them and with helping them be proficient in the
    world outside the home.
  • Family structure does not need to be hierarchical
    to carry out family functions, rather let it be
    democratic, responsive, consensual.
  • The respect, love and safety required for the
    best of human growth and enjoyment are equally
    possible in a variety of constellations lesbian
    relationships, single-parent families, dual
    career couples and others.
  • Connection and autonomy are to be equally sought,
    and each is a necessary condition for the other.
  • Power, as so far exercised by men, fathers and
    husbands, is not to be more equally shared but
    banished altogether and replaced by giving ones
    skills and influence towards the well-being of
    others just as one also does for ones own
    well-being.
  • .

24
Feminist Family Therapy
The feminist family therapist uses a variety of
techniques drawn from various schools of family
therapy, but will be sensitive not to use any
technique that is sexist or oppressive. The
methodology of feminist family therapy
includes 1. Using self in the therapy as a model
of human behavior not so constrained by gender
stereotypes. 2. Creating a process in which the
use of such skills as validation, empowerment,
and demystification increases their sense of
having options for themselves and develops
greater reciprocity among family members. 3.
Developing an analysis of gender roles in the
family. 4. Using this analysis to guide
interactions with the family in ways that both
challenge and free them from constricted,
stereotypical patterns of behavior. 5. Drawing
techniques from a variety of extant family
therapy approaches, with full awareness of the
gender consequences of these techniques. Finally,
feminist family therapy is a moral endeavor,
based on a vision of human life and of the
environment best suited to produce and nourish
the life of each individual, regardless of gender
or status. From Feminist Family Therapy by
Thelma Jean Goodrich, Cheryl Rampage, Barbara
Eliman, and Kris Haistead, (W.W. NortonNew York,
1988.)
  • .

25
Parts Models
  • Psychosynthesis Roberto Assagioli
  • Internal Family Systems Richard Schwartz

26
Psychosynthesis Roberto Assagioli
  • People naturally talk about their parts as in
    part of me wants to do.and part of me wants to
    do.
  • We all have subpersonalities good girl vs.
    wild women, or tireless hard worker, fun
    loving guy, respectful and spiritual vs ?

27
Psychosynthesis Roberto Assagioli
28
Psychosynthesis Roberto Assagioli
  • Task is to become aware of the parts
    (sub-personalities), thicken them so we know them
    well, and then to have the self direct their use
    when appropriate.
  • The more we understand ourselves and our parts,
    the closer we become to spiritual understandings.

29
Internal Family Systems Richard Schwartz
30
Internal Family Systems Richard Schwartz
  • The internal parts voices conflict with each
    other, thus they can learn and use their
    different parts in better ways.
  • In dealing with sexual abuse, Schwartz has found
    that many times the parts have been useful to the
    client in disassociating from the event(s), and
    in reclaiming them and working with them, the
    client is able to deal with the trauma better.
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