Living with an Unloving Husband The Case of Leah Genesis

1
Living with an Unloving Husband

• The Case of Leah
• Genesis 29.15 30.24

2
The Setting of the Story

• Jacob in exile because of cheating his brother,
  Esau
• Sent off by his mother, Rebekhah to her village
• Fell in love with Rachel, Jacobs cousin
• Bride-price of 7 years of labour for Rachel

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Off to the worst possible start

• A mess was created because of a scheming and
  greedy uncle
• Jacob was madly in love with beautiful Rachel
• But Jacob unknowingly married Leah first and not
  Rachel
• Brides were veiled
• Nuptial room often in total darkness
• Inebriation?
• Leah was unattractive she had soft eyes, i.e.,
  eyes that were not beautiful (29.17)

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Off to the worst possible start

• The anticlimax to the joy of wedding festivities
• The Hebrew of Gen 29.25 is dramatic and it was
  morning and behold, there was Leah!

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The Victims
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Jacob

• He expressly mentioned that he wanted Rachel but
  was cheated into marrying Leah the cheater got
  cheated (29.18)
• Because of social mores, he has to perform his
  nuptial duties to Leah for a week before he could
  marry Rachel (29.27)
• That meant another 7 years of labour for his
  uncle (29.27)
• Jacob, who experienced intimately sibling strife,
  would now have another set of sibling strife to
  manage!

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Rachel

• Put yourself in Rachels shoes. How would you
  feel?

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Rachel

• Rachel was looking forward to the marriage
• But the final decision rested with her father
• Sadly, Rachel was cheated of a good marriage and
  her competitor was none other than her elder
  sister!
• Can you imagine the bitterness she might have
  toward her sister?
• Rachel and Jacob appeared to be star-crossed
  lovers

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Leah

• Imagine yourself in Leahs shoes. How would you
  feel?

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Leah

• But the pain of Jacob and Rachel cannot be
  compared with the pain of Leah.
• Jacob and Rachel had each other even if the
  familial setting was not ideal.
• Leah had no one to turn to
• Leah would be regarded as a rude and interrupting
  third party to a loving relationship
• Note decisions about marriage rest with the
  parents. Leah wouldnt have a say in the matter.
• Not surprising, Gen 29.31 says that Leah was not
  loved.

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Laban

• Cited a cultural custom the older must be
  married first (29.26). A victim of social custom?
• More probably wanted more years of service from
  Jacob.

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A Sorry Start A Summary

• Leah

If Jacob and Rachel appeared to exclude Leah from
their loving relationship, they would believe
they were not at fault. They were
victims themselves.
A pawn in a game of deceit
An intrusion in an otherwise happy relationship
Competing with the beautiful and younger sister
A marital relationship lacking in self-esteem and
security
There could only be miserable days to
look forward to
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• Can anything good come out of such a mess?

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Leahs God
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The Responsive and Gracious God

• God saw (Gen 29.31)
• God responded and blessed. He opened Leahs womb.
• Dont forget how important progeny was to ancient
  societies.
• God has great compassion on the unloved.

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Leahs First Three Sons

• All their names indicate the yearning for a
  husbands love (29.32-34). All were named by
  Leah!
• Reuben see a son. So named because of
• Belief that God has seen Leahs misery
• Hope that the husband would now love her
• Simeon The Lord has heard. So named because
• God has heard that Leah was unloved
• Levi My husband will be attached to me

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Leahs First Three Sons

• Even when God was acknowledged, it was done
  against a very narrow horizon the yearning for a
  husbands love. This was Leahs pre-occupation
• Incidentally, Levi would later be the tribe of
  priests for the nation.

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Leahs Fourth Son (29.35)

• A different note is struck with birth of the
  fourth son
• The naming is done without reference to the
  yearning for a husbands love
• Judah I will praise the Lord. So named
  because
• Leah wanted simply to praise God
• Reflecting the transcending of domestic distress
  and unrequited love (but only for a short period)
• Judah would later become the kingly tribe, from
  which came our Lord Jesus Christ

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The Rivalry Intensified
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Rivalry using maids

• Rachels response to her barrenness (30.1-3)
• Desperate and ironic cry give me children or I
  die!
• Surrogacy through Bilhah, the maid
• Two sons were born (30.5-8)
• Dan judged or vindicated. This turned out to
  be the worst tribe in the history of Israel
• Naphtali struggle

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Rivalry using maids

• Childrens names indicate rivalry or a struggle
  against the successful sister
• It was now the turn of the privileged one to feel
  insecure
• Important note narrator did not mention that God
  was involved or that he endorsed it

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Rivalry using maids

• Leahs response (30.9-13)
• Playing the same game
• Gad good fortune
• Asher happy
• Names do not indicate so much rivalry as attempts
  to gain and protect happiness
• Of course, Leah did regard Jacob to be rightfully
  hers (Gen 30.15) and thus, Rachel was regarded as
  a rival.

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Rivalry over the conjugal bed

• The mandrakes incident (30.14-15)
• Mandrakes were used as aphrodisiacs
• Mandrakes were also used for fertility treatments
• Rachel desired the mandrakes found by Reuben, the
  firstborn of Leah

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Rivalry over conjugal bed

• The trading sex with Jacob in exchange for
  mandrakes for Rachel (Gen 30.15)
• Note Rachels desperation for progeny
• Rachels offer implies that she was in control
  over who slept with Jacob
• Leahs retort says just as much
• The husband has become the hired

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Rivalry filtering down to the sons

• The chapters that follow, especially those of the
  Joseph cycle, show that the rivalry of the mother
  filtered down to their children
• Joseph the privileged and boastful (?)
• Joseph the disliked
• This throws in bold relief the significance of
  Judahs action when he offered himself as
  Benjamins replacement for imprisonment

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Leahs last three offsprings

• Gen 30.17 speaks of Gods hearing Leahs
  unuttered request
• Issachar He rewards, i.e., God has rewarded
  Leah for giving her maidservant to Jacob
• The birth is interpreted as a validation of an
  earlier decision.
• Is this an indication that Leah had misgivings
  about using the maid to compete against her
  sister?

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Leahs last three offsprings

• Zebulun honour. So named because Leah wanted
  her husband to honour her, i.e., treat her as his
  first wife.
• Dinah no interpretation given
• Leah continued to yearn for her husbands love
  even after experiencing something like a
  spiritual breakthrough with the birth of Judah.

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Rachels Firstborn

• God, in his own gracious way, remembered Rachel
  and opened her womb (Gen 30.22)
• Humans may plan and scheme, it is only God who
  can open the womb. Rachels use of the mandrakes
  was futile.
• The name Joseph (add) means that Rachel was
  praying for an additional child (30.24).

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Lessonsfrom Leah
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Leahs Case

• Not regarded as attractive, paled in comparison
  to her younger sister in the looks department
• A pawn in a game of deceit
• A third and obtrusive party in a romance
• An unloved first wife who has lost her
  controlling status to her younger sister
• A woman yearning for husbandly respect, care and
  love

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Leahs Response (1)
Didnt work

• Thinking that having children will draw her
  husband to her
• Telling her story, hopes and fears through
  childrens names
• The above are responses commonly found

Ambivalent Results
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Leahs Response (2)

• Transcending her distress by remembering God and
  praising him.
• This was momentary but none the less significant.
  Better to praise God intermittently than not to
  praise him at all
• Her distress was great. Perhaps sadness
  accompanied her all the days of her life

This is the biblical way. But it is very tough.
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Leahs Response (3)

• Competing with her rival and trying to upstage
  her
• Tit-for-tat response
• Exploiting Rachels desperate need for fertility
• Since she was the elder sister and the lawful
  first wife, this response was understandable
  although not edifying.

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Leahs Response A Summary

• Very human
• Thinking of children as means to an end
• Yet with a breakthrough (albeit a momentary one)
  in the middle of the conflict
• But in a response where human and divine
  qualities mixed, Leah became unexpectedly a
  bearer of very great significance in the grand
  scheme of things. Priests would come from Levi
  and kings from Judah. Indeed, the Saviour of the
  world came from Judah, the child of praise!

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The Saviour of the world came from one who was
badly unloved
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Leahs God

• A compassionate God who remembers and champions
  the cause of the downtrodden and despised.
• A God who works in mysterious ways to weave our
  broken lives into a heavenly and redemptive
  tapestry.
• A God who also remembers the need of the rival.

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It is this God who can give the strength to the
Leahs of this world to keep on living and
transcending their horrendous circumstances to
catch a glimpse of eternity and give praise