Sorting Out Allegations of Child Abuse in Custody and Visitation Cases:

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WHAT IS SEXUAL ABUSE ....
and WHY DONT THEY BELIEVE IT IN DIVORCE CASES?
Presenter Seth L. Goldstein Law Offices of Seth
L. Goldstein 2100 Garden Road, Suite
H-8 Monterey, California 93940 [phone]
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• EVALUATING ALLEGATIONS OF SEXUAL ABUSE IN
  CUSTODY/VISITATION CASES
• CREDIBILITY IS MAIN ISSUE

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CHILD FAMILY WILL LOOK NORMAL FROM OUTSIDE

• DELAYED REPORT
• AT OR ABOUT TIME DIVORCE FILED
• NO PREVIOUS OFFICIAL HISTORY
• CHILD MAY ALIGN WITH ABUSIVE PARENT
• CHILD SHOWS NO OUTWARD FEAR OF ABUSIVE PARENT

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CHILD OF DV-S/A FAMILY

• CAUGHT IN FEAR CYCLE
• LOVE BOTH PARENTS
• NOT BELIEVE IS INTENTIONALLY HURT
• WILL PROTECT BY
• NOT TELLING ALL
• EXAGGERATION
• MINIMIZATION

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Belief is children learn from their environment
and if that environment is hateful, they learn to
hate
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Judged on attitude toward
the action in which (s)he testifies or
toward the giving of testimony.
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Judged on character for honesty or veracity or
their opposites.
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Judged on statement made by him that is
consistent/ inconsistent with any part of his
testimony at the hearing.
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Judged on the extent of his capacity to perceive,
to recollect, or to communicate any matter about
which he testifies.
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Judged on the extent of his opportunity to
perceive any matter about which he testifies.
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Judged on the existence or nonexistence of any
fact testified to by him.
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Judged on demeanor while testifying and the
manner in which (s)he testifies.

• Offenders are
• CUNNING
• CONNIVING
• CONTROLLING
• CONVINCING

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Carson District judge calls offense 'natural
impulse

• . it's my understanding that most men are
  sexually attracted to young women. When I say
  young women . I mean women from the time they're
  1 all the way up until they're 100."
• Carson City District Judge Bill Maddox

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Sexual Abuse Fallacies

• MUST CONSIDER MISCONCEPTIONS
• MUST LITIGATE TO COUNTER MYTHS
• MYTHS
• OFFENSE
• OFFENDER
• VICTIM

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Sexual Abuse Myths Offense

• FALLACY
• Only committed by sex starved maniacs
• TRUTH
• Like rape, often sexual behavior in service of
  non-sexual needs
• Power, Control, Domination, Degradation
• Example D/V

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PLANNED PATTERN OF COERCIVE CONTROL

• VIOLENCE -CONFLICT
• NOT ALWAYS

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Sexual Abuse Myths Offense

• FALLACY
• Sexual abuse is an isolated event
• TRUTH
• Sexual abuse does not occur in a vacuum the
  child is victimized in many ways
• There may be other victims and offenders
• There may be evidence of other acts

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THE DV-C/A NEXUS

• 30-70 Cross Relationship
• Most Dangerous Time When Separation
  Occurs/Finality Sets In
• Object of Attack, Whomever Within Striking
  Distance
• Child Becomes Both Tool-Weapon
• Conduit of Information
• Missile to Deliver Hurt

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Sexual Abuse Myths Offense

• FALLACY
• When sexual abuse surfaces during divorce, is for
  advantage in custody litigation
• TRUTH
• Sexual abuse occurs and/or surfaces at time of
  divorce for many reasons. False reports no
  greater than general population

Judged on the existence or nonexistence of a
bias, interest, or other motive.
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CHILD ABUSE OCCURS BEFORE, DURING OR AFTER
SEPARATION

• DYNAMICS SAME FOR
• PHYSICAL ABUSE
• EMOTIONAL ABUSE
• SEXUAL ABUSE

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Judged on the character of his/her testimony.

• THE PROTECTIVE MOTHER

• SURVIVAL MODE
• PTSD
• DENIAL
• DEPENDENT
• DELAYED ACTION
• DEBILITATED

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PHYSICAL ABUSE

• ANGER/POWER
• CONTROL
• POOR IMPULSE CONTROL
• VINDICTIVENESS
• EGO CENTRIC
• UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
• SUBSTANCE/ ALCOHOL ABUSE

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EMOTIONAL ABUSE

• MOMS GONE
• LACK OF COMPASSION
• LACK OF UNDERSTANDING CHILDS DEVELOPMENT LEVEL
• IMMATURITY

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SEXUAL ABUSE

• MALE PRIVILEGE
• OBJECTIFICATION
• PUNISH MOM
• PSYCHOPATH
• MASKED PEDOPHILE
• DISCREDIT MOM

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Sexual Abuse Myths Offense

• FALLACY
• Only occurs
• in open cities
• TRUTH
• Occurs in every community

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Sexual Abuse Myths Offense

• FALLACY
• Child Molestation
• perils children only
• in playgrounds and
• alleys
• TRUTH
• Crime is committed
• where children play,
• pray, and stay

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Sexual Abuse Myths Offender

• FALLACY
• Easily recognized
• TRUTH
• No such distinction

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Sexual Abuse Myths Offender

• FALLACY
• Easily recognized as a dirty old man in a
  raincoat
• TRUTH
• Not dirty, old or senile

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Sexual Abuse Myths Offender

• FALLACY
• Only criminal types commit child molestation
• TRUTH
• No such distinction, they come from all walks of
  life

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Sexual Abuse Myths Offender

• FALLACY
• Children are victimized only by strangers
• TRUTH
• Majority of cases involved someone known to the
  victim and/or family

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Sexual Abuse Myths Offender

• FALLACY
• Homosexuals molest children
• TRUTH
• Molestation of children must be viewed as a
  separate issue from gender identity

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Sexual Abuse Myths Offender

• FALLACY
• Only men molest children
• TRUTH
• The offender may be a woman

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Sexual Abuse Myths Victim

• FALLACY
• Only girls are victimized
• TRUTH
• Only a small percentage of boys actually report
  their abuse
• Boys are equally in peril

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Sexual Abuse Myths Victim

• FALLACY
• Only children of lower socio-economic status are
  victimized
• TRUTH
• Victims represent every social and economic level
  in society

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Sexual Abuse Myths Victim

• FALLACY
• A child must be forced to engage in sexual acts
• TRUTH
• Many children are willing, non-complaining victims

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Sexual Abuse Myths Victim

• FALLACY
• Children falsely accuse adults
• TRUTH
• False allegations are rare, but, do occur

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DEFENSES - SEXUAL ABUSE

• FALSE REPORT
• IDENTIFICATION - NOT ME
• SODDI M.B.M.B.M.
  (MUST BE MOM BLAMING ME)
• IT DIDNT HAPPEN
• CHILD OR MOM LYING
• INTENT
• MISTAKEN AGE
• DIMINISHED ACTUALITY
  (LIKE CAPACITY OR INSANITY)
• ALIBI

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FALSE REPORTS

• TOTALLY FALSE
• ULTERIOR MOTIVE
• MUNCHAUSEN SYNDROME BY PROXY
• PARTIALLY FALSE REPORTS
• MISINTERPRETED ACTIONS
• DISPLACEMENT ASSIGNMENT
• SECOND PARTY REPORTS

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IS IT FALSE REPORT?

• PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE?
• DO THINGS DESCRIBED EXIST?
• EMOTIONS CONSISTENT WITH ABUSE?
• INCREDUILTY TO INTIMATE QUESTIONS

• PRIOR DISCLOSURE
• EVENTS WOULDNT ORDINARYLY BE EXPOSED TO
• SEXUAL KNOWLEGE
• IDIOSYNCRATIC DETAIL
• DESCRIBES THINGS CONSISTENT WITH ABUSE

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IS IT FALSE REPORT?

• EVENTS WOULDNT ORDINARYLY BE EXPOSED TO
• SEXUAL KNOWLEGE

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IS IT FALSE REPORT?

• EVENTS WOULDNT ORDINARYLY BE EXPOSED TO
• SEXUAL KNOWLEGE
• IDIOSYNCRATIC DETAIL

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FALSE REPORT? ALTERNATIVE EXPLANATION?

• CHILD IS EXPOSED OR HAS ACCESS TO SEXUAL STIMULI

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IS IT FALSE REPORT?

• PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE?
• DO THINGS DESCRIBED EXIST?
• EMOTIONS CONSISTENT WITH ABUSE?

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PREVIOUS

• R
• E
• C
• O
• R
• D

• INTENT
• EROTICA

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SEXUAL ABUSE SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS

• BEHAVIORAL OBSERVATIONS

• SEXUALIZED CONDUCT
• AGRESSIVENESS
• SUDDEN OR NEW FEARS
• WITHDRAWAL
• SUDDEN CHANGES IN BEHAVIOR

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CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE ACCOMODATION SYNDROME

• SECRECY
• HOPELESSNESS
• ENTRAPMENT AND ACCOMODATION
• DELAYED, UNCONVINCING, CONFLICTED, DISCLOSURE
• RETRACTION

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SEXUAL ABUSE SPECIAL EVIDENCE CONSIDERATIONS

• FRESH COMPLAINT
• SPONTANEOUS/EXCITED UTTERANCES
• MEDICAL EVIDENCE
• PHYSICAL EVIDENCE OF INTENT/CORROBORATION
• CONSCIOUS COURSE OF CONDUCT
• SIGNATURE TRAIT

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SEXUAL ABUSE SPECIAL EVIDENCE CONSIDERATIONS

• MEDICAL EVIDENCE
• IS THERE ANY MEDICAL EVIDENCE AVAILABLE?
• IS THERE ACCESS
  TO A TRAINED,
  EXPERIENCED,
  WILLING,
  MEDICAL EXAMINER?

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NEED TO KNOW

• WHO DID THE CHILD FIRST DISCLOSE TO?
• WHAT TRIGGERED THE DISCLOSURE?
• WHEN DID THE FIRST DISCLOSURE OCCUR?
• HOW THE ORIGINAL DISCLOSURE
  SURFACED?

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NEED TO KNOW

• WHY THE CHILD IS TELLING NOW?
• HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE TALKED TO THE CHILD (AND
  WHO ARE THEY)?
• EXACTLY WHAT WAS SAID BY THE CHILD TO EACH OF
  THESE PERSONS?

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NEED TO KNOW

• EXACTLY WHAT WAS SAID TO THE CHILD BY THESE
  PERSONS?
• HOW, IF AT ALL, THE AFOREMENTIONED MAY HAVE
  AFFECTED WHAT THE CHILD IS NOW SAYING?
• WHAT EVIDENCE IS AVAILABLE TO CONFIRM OR REFUTE
  THE ALLEGATION?

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NEED TO KNOW

• WHAT EVIDENCE IS AVAILABLE TO CONFIRM WHAT THE
  CHILD IS SAYING?
• ARE THERE ANY ALTERNATIVE EXPLANATIONS FOR THE
  CHILD'S BEHAVIORS AND WHAT (S)HE IS SAYING?

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THANK YOU

• CONTACT INFORMATION