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RESEARCH ON SEXUAL LIFE of WOMEN WITH
DISABILITES Ð? Thanh Toàn Nguy?n
H?ng Hà
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Background

• Researches have been done on different visible
  issues, such as rehabilitation, education,
  employment, vocational training.
• There have no researches on how people with
  disabilities (PWDs) live, especially on the very
  sensitive issue of sexuality of women with
  disabilities (WWDs), which is an important part
  of these disadvantaged persons.

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Objectives of Research

• To find out what WWDs think of their sexuality
  and their dreams
• To know how much their relatives (husbands,
  partners, parents) are aware of sexuality of WWDs

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Outcomes

• Qualitative disability research skills will be
  improved
• A reference document on health and sexuality of
  WWDs will be contributed to the Disability
  Research Fund
• The information will be provided to the policy
  makers, so that their interests go not only on
  WWDs material needs, but also on their needs in
  this sensitive part of their lives

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Outcomes (cont.)

• Awareness of WWDs on what is related to their
  sexual lives, helping them to get confident and
  find opportunities for themselves in life.
• Awareness of the community on helping PWDs to
  integrate into the society and take their rights
  to sexuality and reproduction

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Methods

• Qualitative research method using in-depth
  interview and focus-group discussion technique.
• Interviewees WWDs aged 18-60 WWDs husbands and
  partners their parents and some DPOs leaders,
  health authorities, PWDs teachers
• Based on the agreement confidentiality in
  information consultancy in need

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Issues mentioned

• Concern and education from the family
• Awareness and point of view of WWDs themselves on
  their sexual life
• Point of view of their relatives and community on
  this issue
• Opportunities for WWDs to love, sexuality,
  marriage and their expectations

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Concern and education from the family

• Parents take too much care and do things for
  them, considering the disabled child
  disadvantaged
• My parents give me more affection than my
  sister and never let me cook and wash the dishes
  or do any housework.
• (said a young lady with visual impairment,
  aged 23)

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1. Concern and education from the family (cont.)

• In the family the WWD is seen as incapable
• It is the family that creates the prejudice on
  the WWD, who thinks that she is worse than the
  other child(s) and cannot do what the other
  children can. As the result the disabled daughter
  is not asked to do what is simple to any lady
  house work or behavior to the others
• (said a 45 year-old disabled man)

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Consequence

• Parents too much care to the disabled child,
  despite their goodwill, result in an unexpected
  consequence that he or she has no opportunities
  to live independently and participate into the
  everyday life activities of the family

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1. Concern and education from the family (cont.)

• Parents are interested only on medical
  rehabilitation for their child, not her emotion
  and sexual needs -gt never think of teaching their
  daughter knowledge on sexual health and
  reproduction health
• WWDs know about that by watching what their
  mother do
• Mum never shared with me the sensitive things
  about a woman and I never read about that. I just
  imitated what she did. (said a 28-year-old woman
  with cerebral palsy said)

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1. Concern and education from the family (cont.)

• Parents are more worried about a job for their
  disabled daughter than her opportunity to be
  married
• The parents themselves think that their disabled
  daughter cannot fulfill the task to be a
  daughter-in-law, a wife and a mother in the
  future
• The WWD grows up thinking that she is different
  from the others due to her disability, a serious
  inferiority complex about fate, which makes her
  lose her confidence and the belief in her right
  to love and marriage, as an ordinary woman

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What do WWDs think ?

• They do not expect a special treatment
• A disabled daughter can do housework like the
  other non-disabled children
• Becoming adult, I understand that parents too
  much care may harm the kids. As a woman, the
  disabled daughter should at list know how to
  cook. I didnt know how to cook well until I
  joined the Association of PWDs
• (said a young lady in wheelchair)

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2. Love and sexual life of WWDs

• WWDs are much more disadvantaged due to
• Their way of thinking that they are worse in
  appearance
• Despite your beauty you can not be equal to a
  nondisabled woman. (a 54-year-old woman with
  mobility disability shared)

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2. Love and sexual life of WWDs

• The way they think they have no right to have sex
  or they have to control it
• A disabled woman never dares to expect to have
  a sex. Its a fear of being dispised (said a
  32-year-old WWD).
• They do not take the chance when it comes
  thinking that they may cause trouble to their
  beloved
• He once wanted to marry me, but I feared that I
  will be a burden for him (said a 54-year-old
  woman with mobility disability)

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2. Love and sexual life of WWDs

• Their lack of knowledge on WWDs rights, they
  tend to accept the destiny thinking that it is
  self-respect
• I had a non-disabled boyfriend, but seeing his
  familys attitude, I decided to say goodbye to
  him, since I had a strong self-respect.. (PVS
  PNKT v?n d?ng, 31 tu?i)

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2. Love and sexual life of WWDs (cont.)

• It was found out that even young women, who have
  learned a lot about sexuality health and
  reproductive health, think that WWDs should never
  show their love and desire and sexuality is just
  to have children, not one of the element to
  bring happiness
• Disabled women shold not show their love and
  sexuality desire (said a 23-year-old lady with
  disability).

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3. Opportunities for WWDs in love, sexuality and
marriage

• Almost no choice, due to the discrimination to
  women and to WWDs
• People think that a disabled person should not
  get married, but disabled men have opportunites,
  since non-disabled women can sacrifice, but it
  does not happen the same to WWDs. (said a
  disabled man, lover of a disabled woman).

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3. Opportunities for WWDs in love, sexuality and
marriage (cont.)

• WWDs think too much of their fate to forget that
  they just have some disability and non-disabled
  people are not always perfect. Athey are shy and
  lose their opportunities
• The WWDs themselves are not active enough
  (said a 38-year-old disabled woman)

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3. Opportunities for WWDs in love, sexuality and
marriage (cont.)

• To be in love, a disabled woman has to face so
  many difficulties barriers from both families
  and the calculating from her man
• ...Like many other Vietnamese men, I was
  calculating, thinking that with a non-diabled
  wife, life would be wonderful to me and I would
  be able to concentrate on my career, but... I
  should have married the disabled woman I loved
  (said a 38-year-old married man, who is lover of
  a disabled woman).

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3. Opportunities for WWDs in love, sexuality and
marriage (cont.)

• To be married is a long way to go for a disabled
  woman. It does not depend on her, but on the
  understanding from both faminlies and the
  determination of her man
• If the man have no voice in his family, nothing
  can happen. So to help a woman with disability to
  reach a married life, the man must be decisive
  (said a disabled womas husband, aged 45)

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3. Opportunities for WWDs in love, sexuality and
marriage (cont.)

• Young WWDS nowadays have better view on love and
  sexuality and better awareness on their abilities
  and dignity
• Young WWDs have more opportunities to have
  boyfriends and the societys point of view is
  changing grdually, since people can see PWDs
  work and live independently. (interviewing
  in-depth with a 30-year-old disabled woman)

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3. Opportunities for WWDs in love, sexuality and
marriage (cont.)

• Choices
• WWDs who are well-educated and have high income
  choose the way to live with their partners
  without getting married
• Others in their thirties or forties choose the
  way to be in relation with a man to have a child
  to rely on when getting old

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4. Their expections

• To be regarded capable in love, wifehood and
  motherhood
• Happiness of a WWD is to have rights to
  education, employment, to be respected, to have a
  good family with a kind husband and nice
  children, as an ordinary person (said a
  28-year-old disabled woman).
• Men can see their value of a woman
• Awareness raising should be done among men on
  WWDs abilities in love and family life, since
  many men would rather marry a bad non-disabled
  woman than a beautiful , gentle and sweet
  disabled woman (interviewing in-depth with a
  28-year-old disabled woman)

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4. Their expections (cont.)

• To be regarded in their families as an ordinary
  woman with human desires
• Parents should not think that their disabled
  child have no needs for love and sexuality as the
  other non-disabled women, even more. And
  sexuality is more important to WWDs
  (interviewing in-depth with a 38-year-old
  disabled, who have a lover, but their parents do
  not allow, thinking he will soon get tired and
  leave her)
• To make their dreams come true, efforts are
  needed from not only WWDs, but also from their
  families, community and the whole society. This
  help should be material and spiritual.

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Recommendations

• Massive propaganda on rights of WWDs nationally
• Issues of WWDs should be included in the
  National Action Plan
• Awareness raising on abilities of WWDs in
  studies, at work and in family life, especially
  in wifehood, motherhood and sexuality

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Recommendations (cont.)

• Organize exchange meetings on love, maffiage and
  happiness
• Open courses of cooking, wifehood, and motherhood
  for WWDs

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Thank you!