Adding Punch to Your Essays

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Adding Punch to Your Essays

• Making the Most of Examples

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Does this sound familiar?

• Teacher Your next essay will need to be 5-7
  pages in length.
• Student What!?! I cant write that much! What
  is she thinking? I will never be able to write
  that many pages! I need to drop this class!

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YOU CAN DO IT!

• Set your mind at ease!
• You have more to say than you might have
  imagined.
• You simply need to learn how to develop effective
  examples.

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The Big Mistake

• Most developing writers assume that the readers
  will know what the writer is trying to
  communicate, but unless you make your ideas
  clear, using specific details, your readers may
  not see what you want them to see.

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For Example

• I have a dog.

• With the information I have provided, do you have
  a clear image of my dog?
• NO! As a reader, you are left to fill in the
  blanks.

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But if I say

• I have an 80 pound, brown and black German
  Shepard named Bruno.

• You now have a clear image of the dog I am
  referring to.

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Lets Compare

• I have a dog.

• I have an 80 pound, brown and black German
  Shepherd named Bruno.

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The Conclusion

• You develop your paragraphs by being specific.
• If you are able to add specific details and
  examples, you will find that it isnt as
  difficult to meet your instructors expectations
  as you might have once thought.

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Using Examples Effectively

• Your topic sentence will guide the details and
  examples you add to your paragraphs.

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For example

• Your topic sentence is
• Good teachers are hard to find.

• The details that follow the topic sentence will
  demonstrate the point that good teachers are
  hard to find to your readers.
• You can do this by adding both typical and
  specific examples.

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A Typical Example

• A typical example is one that has been developed
  after many observations or experiences.

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A Typical Example

• It is often difficult for students to find a good
  teacher simply by looking at the class schedule
  each semester. There is no information about the
  individual teachers. There are only names listed
  next to the class and the time.

• This is a typical example. Many students have
  struggled with the difficulty of trying to
  determine what teachers to take for the courses
  they want to enroll in.

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A Specific Example

• In contrast, a specific example captures a single
  experience, fact, or event. This may come from
  research or from your own observations.

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For example

• Last semester I wanted to take an English 52
  class. Many of the classes simply had staff
  listed next to the course information, so it was
  difficult to know who was teaching the classes at
  all. In order to get the names of specific
  instructors, I had to go to the division office,
  but even with that I only had names, not specific
  information about the instructors.

• This is a specific example because it discusses
  one particular experience you had while trying to
  find a good teacher for a course

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Try it Is this a typical or a specific example?

• Many students will spend 30-40 minutes roaming
  the parking lot looking for a close parking
  space, when they could actually save time by
  parking further out and spending a few extra
  minutes walking.

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Answer Typical Example

• Many students will spend 30-40 minutes roaming
  the parking lot looking for a close parking
  space, when they could actually save time by
  parking further out and spending a few extra
  minutes walking.

• This is a typical example because it points out
  what many students are doing.

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Try it Is this a typical or a specific example?

• In order to help students in her English 20
  classes be more successful, Ms Rose uses the
  principles of On Course, a textbook from which
  students learn the principles of personal
  responsibility.

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Answer Typical Example

• In order to help students in her English 20
  classes be more successful, Ms Rose uses the
  principles of On Course, a textbook from which
  students learn the principles of personal
  responsibility.

• Although the example refers to one instructor,
  this is a typical example because it is based on
  many observations of many classes and students.

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Try it Is this a typical or a specific example?

• Maria, a student in Ms. Roses class last spring,
  found that by simply changing her attitude, she
  could change the outcomes in her life. Maria had
  been thinking like a victim and blaming others
  for her academic failures. However, once Maria
  heard Ms Rose lecture on the importance of
  thinking like a Creator and taking personal
  responsibility for both success and failure,
  Maria was able to make positive changes in her
  life and start moving toward academic success.
  Now Maria is finishing up her transfer
  requirements and looking forward to transferring
  to UCLA next semester. Marias transformation
  came about as a result of Ms Roses commitment to
  helping her students succeed.

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Answer Specific Example

• Maria, a student in Ms. Roses class last spring,
  found that by simply changing her attitude, she
  could change the outcomes in her life. Maria had
  been thinking like a victim and blaming others
  for her academic failures. However, once Maria
  heard Ms Rose lecture on the importance of
  thinking like a Creator and taking personal
  responsibility for both success and failure,
  Maria was able to make positive changes in her
  life and start moving toward academic success.
  Now Maria is finishing up her transfer
  requirements and looking forward to transferring
  to UCLA next semester. Marias transformation
  came about as a result of Ms Roses commitment to
  helping her students succeed.

• This is a specific example because it shows how
  the dedication of Ms. Rose enabled one student to
  make a positive change, and it illustrates the
  point we are trying to make in the topic sentence.

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Try it Is this a typical or a specific example?

• Students can learn a lot by reading The
  Assumptions of College Culture and learning
  about the assumptions instructors make about
  students and about the misconceptions students
  have when they begin college.

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Answer Typical Example

• Students can learn a lot by reading The
  Assumptions of College Culture and learning
  about the assumptions instructors make about
  students and about the misconceptions students
  have when they begin college.

• This is specific in that it refers to a
  particular article, but it is not as specific as
  it could be about what students can learn about
  the assumptions instructors make or about the
  misconceptions students have. This would be a
  better typical example.

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Try it Is this a typical or a specific example?

• For example, when our class discussed the
  reading, one student said that he was surprised
  that instructors assume students know why they
  are here. The student went on to say that one of
  the reasons he came to a community college was
  because he had no idea what he wanted to do after
  high school but it seemed to be the natural next
  step to go to college. The student was concerned
  that he would fall into some of the bad habits
  outlined in the reading, like coming late to
  class and not completing assignments.

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Answer Specific Example

• For example, when our class discussed the
  reading, one student said that he was surprised
  that instructors assume students know why they
  are here. The student went on to say that one of
  the reasons he came to a community college was
  because he had no idea what he wanted to do after
  high school but it seemed to be the natural next
  step to go to college. The student was concerned
  that he would fall into some of the bad habits
  outlined in the reading, like coming late to
  class and not completing assignments.

• This is a specific example because it shows how
  one student in the class responded to the reading
  material. The example also illustrates the point
  brought up in both the topic sentence and the
  typical example.

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Try it Is this a typical or a specific example?

• College is more enjoyable if you get involved.
  For example, my friend Mia was always very
  nervous about going to college because she didnt
  know anyone. Then she got involved in the Salsa
  club on campus. Not only did she have a great
  time dancing and meeting new people, she was also
  able to get into a study group with other members
  of the club, and her grades in English improved.
  Mia is no longer nervous and looks forward to
  going to school each day.

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Answer Specific Example

• College is more enjoyable if you get involved.
  For example, my friend Mia was always very
  nervous about going to college because she didnt
  know anyone. Then she got involved in the Salsa
  club on campus. Not only did she have a great
  time dancing and meeting new people, she was also
  able to get into a study group with other members
  of the club, and her grades in English improved.
  Mia is no longer nervous and looks forward to
  going to school each day.

• This is a Specific example because it shows how
  one student got involved with one particular club
  on campus and how that changed her outlook on
  school.

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Try it Is this a typical or a specific example?

• Ms. Rose believes that students can learn a lot
  from instructors who are willing to share their
  life experiences with their students. For
  example, many instructors struggled through their
  academic career, just like students do now. By
  sharing those challenges and life lessons,
  students can find inspiration.

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Answer Typical Example

• Ms. Rose believes that students can learn a lot
  from instructors who are willing to share their
  life experiences with their students. For
  example, many instructors struggled through their
  academic career, just like students do now. By
  sharing those challenges and life lessons,
  students can find inspiration.

• This is a Typical Example because it shows how
  many instructors can use their experience to
  inspire students.

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Try it Is this a typical or a specific example?

• Ms Rose had to work full-time and care for her
  two sons while she was going to college. She had
  to manage her time carefully in order to fulfill
  all of her personal responsibilities. When Ms.
  Rose told this story to her Puente students, Ana
  Lisa found encouragement. I too have children to
  support, said Ana Lisa. But I thought about
  what Ms. Rose had gone through, and I realized
  that if she could do it, so can I. I am now more
  determined than ever to complete my A.A degree in
  math and transfer to Cal Poly Pomona.

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Answer Specific Example

• Ms Rose had to work full-time and care for her
  two sons while she was going to college. She had
  to manage her time carefully in order to fulfill
  all of her personal responsibilities. When Ms.
  Rose told this story to her Puente students, Ana
  Lisa found encouragement. I too have children to
  support, said Ana Lisa. But I thought about
  what Ms. Rose had gone through, and I realized
  that if she could do it, so can I. I am now more
  determined than ever to complete my A.A degree in
  math and transfer to Cal Poly Pomona.

• This example not only uses the specific details
  from Ms. Roses experiences, it also shows how
  sharing that experience helped one particular
  student.

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Blending Them Together

• By blending typical and specific examples, you
  can develop your writing to meet the requirements
  set by your instructor, and you can also
  communicate your ideas more effectively to your
  readers.

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A developing paragraph

• Each year, students at Cerritos College have the
  opportunity to nominate faculty for the
  distinguished faculty award, but few students
  participate. The distinguished faculty award
  nomination period is announced in Talon Marks,
  and there are nomination forms available at many
  locations throughout the campus. However, most
  students do not read the Talon Marks article or
  pay attention to the nomination boxes. When a
  Talon Marks reporter interviewed students on
  campus to find out why students are not
  participating, Manny, a student in the Fine Arts
  Department, said, I saw the nomination box in
  the department office when I went to work with my
  instructor on my final project, but I didnt
  realize that students could nominate anyone. Now
  that I know this is an opportunity for students
  to recognize faculty who have made a difference
  in their lives, I am going to nominate my English
  teacher, Ms Rose, who has taught me a lot about
  how to be a successful college student. I
  appreciate the effort she put into helping me get
  through her class.

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Identify the Sections

• Cerritos College offers many programs designed to
  help students succeed in their academic goals.
  Some of the programs focus on developing specific
  skills, such as reading and writing. Other
  programs provide support systems to help students
  navigate the often confusing maze of higher
  education. Students may be provided with
  additional counseling services or paired with a
  mentor. For example, the Puente Program is
  designed to help under-represented students
  complete the necessary course work to transfer to
  a university. Students work closely with an
  English instructor and a counselor. Students not
  only work on improving their writing skills, but
  they also work on developing a clear academic
  path and setting focused academic goals.

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Identify the sections

• Topic Sentence Cerritos College offers many
  programs designed to help students succeed in
  their academic goals.
• Typical Example Some of the programs focus on
  developing specific skills, such as reading and
  writing. Other programs provide support systems
  to help students navigate the often confusing
  maze of higher education. Students may be
  provided with additional counseling services or
  paired with a mentor.
• Specific Example For example, the Puente Program
  is designed to help under-represented students
  complete the necessary course work to transfer to
  a university. Students work closely with an
  English instructor and a counselor. Students not
  only work on improving their writing skills, but
  they also work on developing a clear academic
  path and setting focused academic goals.

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Keep in mind

• As you craft your paragraphs, you also need to
  determine if the examples you develop are
  appropriate for the topic sentence of the
  paragraph.

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Topic Sentence Students who have good computer
skills are more likely to be successful in their
classes.

• The details that you develop need to include
  information about computer skills and how those
  skills relate to student success.

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Topic Sentence Students who have good computer
skills are more likely to be successful in their
classes.

• If you write
• When students have good word processing skills,
  it makes it easier for them to complete their
  essays and research papers.
• You have a typical example that shows how a
  certain skill (word processing) helps students
  succeed with a particular task (writing essays
  and research papers).

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Topic Sentence Students who have good computer
skills are more likely to be successful in their
classes.

• If you write
• Students can spend time chatting with friends and
  enjoying themselves in the lab.
• Here you have a typical example, but this doesnt
  specifically address the topic sentence. An
  example will only work for you if it helps the
  readers understand more about your topic sentence.

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Topic Sentence Students who have good computer
skills are more likely to be successful in their
classes.

• If you write
• Working from home, Nikki was able to find three
  full-text articles in Ebscohost for her
  psychology paper on substance abuse. This saved
  her the time of having to go to the library to
  find the articles.
• This is a good specific example because it shows
  how computer skills helped one particular student
  (Nikki) on one assignment (her psychology paper
  on substance abuse)

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Try It
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Topic Sentence Students who take advantage of
the resources available at Cerritos College are
more likely to be successful.

• While he was in English 100, Edgar went to the
  Academic Support Center three times a week to
  work with a tutor. As a result, he was able to
  get his sentence fragments under control, and his
  essay scores went from D to B.

• Typical Example for this topic sentence?
• Specific Example for this topic sentence?
• Bad Example for this topic sentence?

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Topic Sentence Students who take advantage of
the resources available at Cerritos College are
more likely to be successful.

• While he was in English 100, Edgar went to the
  Academic Support Center three times a week to
  work with a tutor. As a result, he was able to
  get his sentence fragments under control, and his
  essay scores went from D to B.

• This is a specific example for this topic
  sentence. It shows how using a campus resource
  (the Academic Support Center) helped one student
  (Edgar) in one class (English 100).

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Topic Sentence Students who take advantage of
the resources available at Cerritos College are
more likely to be successful.

• Monica gets frustrated every time she comes to
  campus. She can never find a parking space, and
  she is late to her English 100 class every day
  because of her parking problems.

• Typical Example for this topic sentence?
• Specific Example for this topic sentence?
• Bad Example for this topic sentence?

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Topic Sentence Students who take advantage of
the resources available at Cerritos College are
more likely to be successful.

• Monica gets frustrated every time she comes to
  campus. She can never find a parking space, and
  she is late to her English 100 class every day
  because of her parking problems.

• This is a Bad Example for this topic sentence. It
  does not address the topic of resources or
  success.

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Topic Sentence Students who take advantage of
the resources available at Cerritos College are
more likely to be successful.

• Many students wait until the last minute to see a
  counselor, but those who make appointments early
  are better prepared for registration.

• Typical Example for this topic sentence?
• Specific Example for this topic sentence?
• Bad Example for this topic sentence?

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Topic Sentence Students who take advantage of
the resources available at Cerritos College are
more likely to be successful.

• Many students wait until the last minute to see a
  counselor, but those who make appointments early
  are better prepared for registration.

• This is a Typical Example for this topic
  sentence. It shows how students use a resource
  (counselors) to be better prepared for
  registration.

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Topic Sentence Students who take advantage of
the resources available at Cerritos College are
more likely to be successful.

• Bonnie was having difficulty finding money to buy
  her books. She knew she couldnt do her
  coursework without books, and she was seriously
  thinking about quitting school as a result. Then
  a friend told her about Financial Aid. Bonnie
  made an appointment and found out she qualified
  for a grant that would pay for her books. As a
  result, Bonnie was finally able to get her books.

• Typical Example for this topic sentence?
• Specific Example for this topic sentence?
• Bad Example for this topic sentence?

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Topic Sentence Students who take advantage of
the resources available at Cerritos College are
more likely to be successful.

• Bonnie was having a lot of difficulty finding
  money to buy her books. She knew she couldnt do
  her coursework without books, and she was
  seriously thinking about quitting school as a
  result. Then a friend told her about Financial
  Aid. Bonnie made an appointment and found out she
  qualified for a grant that would pay for her
  books. As a result, Bonnie was finally able to
  get her books.

• This is a Specific Example for this topic
  sentence. Bonnie used Financial Aid (resource) to
  get money for books (success).

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Topic Sentence Many students suffer from math
anxiety.

• Many students at the community college level
  avoid taking any math classes until they want to
  graduate or transfer. However, since they need to
  take three or four math classes, they are not
  ready to graduate

• Typical Example for this topic sentence?
• Specific Example for this topic sentence?
• Bad Example for this topic sentence?

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Topic Sentence Many students suffer from math
anxiety.

• Many students at the community college level
  avoid taking any math classes until they want to
  graduate or transfer. However, since they need to
  take three or four math classes, they are not
  ready to graduate

• This is a Typical Example for this topic
  sentence. It is based on the observations of many
  students who fear math and thus avoid the
  classes, which delays their graduation or
  transfer.

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Topic Sentence Many students suffer from math
anxiety.

• One student in my Math 60 class loved coming to
  class the day of exams. He felt the exams were a
  challenging way to show he had mastered the
  material.

• Typical Example for this topic sentence?
• Specific Example for this topic sentence?
• Bad Example for this topic sentence?

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Topic Sentence Many students suffer from math
anxiety.

• One student in my Math 60 class loved coming to
  class the day of exams. He felt the exams were a
  challenging way to show he had mastered the
  material.

• This is a Bad Example for this topic sentence.
  This student doesnt suffer from math anxiety at
  all!

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Topic Sentence Many students suffer from math
anxiety.

• When I took Math 60, the first exam was an
  intimidating experience. Many students simply
  didnt show up for class that day. Others in the
  class were sweating, breathing heavily, or
  shaking. One girl in the back row even fainted.

• Typical Example for this topic sentence?
• Specific Example for this topic sentence?
• Bad Example for this topic sentence?

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Topic Sentence Many students suffer from math
anxiety.

• When I took Math 60, the first exam was an
  intimidating experience. Many students simply
  didnt show up for class that day. Others in the
  class were sweating, breathing heavily, or
  shaking. One girl in the back row even fainted.

• This is a Specific Example for this topic
  sentence because it talks about one students
  observation during one exam.

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Topic Sentence Many students suffer from math
anxiety.

• Most students are encouraged by their counselors
  to immediately sign up for the math placement
  test when they start taking classes at the
  community college.

• Typical Example for this topic sentence?
• Specific Example for this topic sentence?
• Bad Example for this topic sentence?

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Topic Sentence Many students suffer from math
anxiety.

• Most students are encouraged by their counselors
  to immediately sign up for the math placement
  test when they start taking classes at the
  community college.

• This is a Bad Example for this topic sentence
  because it doesnt address the anxiety aspect of
  the topic.

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Developing Your Essays with Examples

• A typical example is based on many experiences or
  observations
• A specific example captures a single experience,
  observation, or fact
• By blending typical and specific examples in a
  paragraph, you can develop your ideas and meet
  those minimum page requirements!

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Its Your Turn To Write

• Using one of the following topic sentences or a
  topic sentence from a class assignment, develop a
  typical example and a specific example to
  illustrate your ideas.
• Students who take personal responsibility for
  what happens in their lives are more likely to
  achieve academic success.
• It is important for students to take advantage of
  the resources available on campus.
• Students who are willing to ask questions in
  class are better prepared to complete assignments
  successfully.
• Active reading can help students better prepare
  for assignments and exams.