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The Amazing Story of

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(No, they were not put up to rejoicing by the creepy dude in the Gumby costume) ... Locked in a cryo-tube for 3,000 years, one of these clones was defrosted at the ... – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: The Amazing Story of


1
The Amazing Story of
Pharaoh Jessaminhotep!
(listen to the damn midi)
2
Just discovered in the ruins of Scavapotameia,
this ancient shroud details the life, death, and
subsequent cloning attempts of the great Pharaoh,
JESSAMINHOTEP!
3
  • Here we see Jessaminhotep in her three most
    common incarnations. The Pharaoh can be seen
  • Giving honor to green parrots by wearing a bird
    bath on her head,
  • Starring in Fiddler on the Roof, and balancing
    a vodka bottle on her head,
  • Putting a piece of modern art in its place.

4
  • Jessaminhotep also has a lion form. Why does
    the lion form ogle loaves of bread with a
    moustache over them?
  • DO NOT ASK TRIFLING QUESTIONS ABOUT THE GOD-QUEEN
    !!

5
  • Jessaminhotep worked wonders for her people,
    inventing a primitive form of the see-saw.
  • The teeter-totter is a metaphor representing
    karmic justice in ancient Scavapotameia, as well
    as good, clean playground fun.

6
  • See her people rejoice!!
  • (No, they were not put up to rejoicing by the
    creepy dude in the Gumby costume)

7
  • These hieroglyphs recount Jessaminhoteps triumph
    over the lizard men of the lower delta we think.

8
  • But all was not well in Scavapotameia.
    Pointy-headed, Kant-wielding intellectuals
    (above) plotted to overthrow divine-right
    monarchy (the tasty kind) and install their own
    brand of soulless democratic rule. Damn
    pointy-headed intellectuals. Cant know a good
    thing when they see it. But I digress. The
    goodly, simple, Scavapotameian palace janitor,
    Bert, attempted to warn Jessaminhotep.

Doo bee doo be doo cleaning the palacewarning
the Pharaoh against conspiracy and doom
9
  • But the warning came too late. Jessaminhotep was
    stabbed in the back by a sneaky anteater hired by
    the P-HKWI. The bronze-age Q-tip the assassin
    wielded lacked the soft cottony goodness of our
    modern Q-tips (ironic, no, given modern Egypts
    big cash crop), smiting the God-Queen.

10
  • Thanks to scrolls of ancient wisdom found in a
    village near the capital, Scavapotameian scribes
    were able to clone an army of Jessaminhotep
    clones from a toenail clipping foolishly left
    behind by the assassin.
  • Locked in a cryo-tube for 3,000 years, one of
    these clones was defrosted at the dawn of the
    21st century and made a Scavhunt judge in
    exchange for dirt on what the Hittites were
    really like, you know, when they were wasted.

11
fin.
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