Marriage

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Marriage
Rites Expectations
By Carlo Ammatuna, Woody Amidon, Ian Fletcher
Will Jopling
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Marriage A Modern Definition

• Partnership between two human beings
• Each brings love, caring and acceptance to other
  person.
• Mutually beneficial relationship based on
  equality and respect for each other
• Have children, raising them to be an important
  part of society

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Views of Marriage

• Judaism
• Companionship, love and intimacy are primary
  purposes of marriage along with procreation
• Genesis 218
• Jewish law states marriage is a private
  contractual agreement between a man and a woman
• Marriage is mostly explained in the Talmud
• Other parts of the Hebrew Bible
• Ex 20-21 Dt 255-10

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Worksheet Question 2

• Based on the readings from the NT and the
  DeaconMinistry website, how does Christianity
  view marriage?

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Views of Marriage

• Christianity
• A Holy sacrament that is a permanent, life long
  promise between a man and woman
• Man should leave his parents to become one flesh
  with his wife
• Matthew 19 5-6

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Views of Marriage

• Islam
• Mithaq a solemn covenant, religious duty, moral
  safeguard, and social necessity
• Marriage is a natural part of creation from Allah
• Surah 7189
• A way for people to remain virtuous
• Surah 2432

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Comparison

• Judaism- The Holy Institution joining of a couple
  in Jewish faith to establish a faithful Jewish
  home
• Christianity- Holy Sacrament and a symbol of
  Jesus Christ and the Church
• Islam- A contract as oppose to a sacrament, a
  civil agreement under Islamic Law

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Definitions

• Polygamy- Marriage of one man to several women
• Polyandry- Marriage of several men and one woman
  (rare)
• Monogamy- Marriage of one man and one woman

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Polygamy and Monogamy

• In Judaism the Torah and Talmud allow a man to
  marry more than one woman but not other way
  around
• In 1000 CE, banned due to Christian pressure
• In Christianity Jesus says polygamy is sinful
• Mark 1011 Jesus says it is adultery to marry
  another woman after you have already been married
• In Islam, the Quran permits polygamy but must
  have good reasons, must treat women equally and
  justly
• Surah 43,129

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Worksheet Question 1

• Based on your reading of the websites, compare
  contrast the stages or parts of marriage in
  Judaism and Islam

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Marriage Ceremony in Judaism

• Consists of the kiddushin and the nisuin
• Nisuin done under Chuppah
• Kiddushin- the woman accepts the money, contract
  or sexual relations offered by the prospective
  husband.
• comes from the root Qof-Dalet-Shin
• meaning "sanctified."

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Marriage Ceremony in Judaism (cont)

• Nisuin (from a word meaning "elevation")
• Completes the process of marriage.
• The husband brings the wife into
• his home and they begin their
• married life together

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Marriage Ceremony in Christianity

• Seating of the parents
• Bridal procession
• Wedding march
• Opening remarks
• The call to worship
• Opening Prayer
• Giving away of the bride

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Marriage Ceremony in Christianity (cont)

• Wedding vows, exchanging of the rings
• Communion
• The first act as a married
• couple
• The closing prayer
• The kiss and presentation of the couple

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Marriage Ceremony in Islam

• Before the wedding, the Mehndi ceremony is held
  at the brides home
• On the day of the wedding the groom arrives and a
  ceremonial drink is shared
• The wedding ceremony
• is the Nikah
• By the maulvi

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Marriage Ceremony in Islam (cont)

• Exchanging of peace
• A profession of faith
• A lot of readings about Allah regarding marriage
• State Allah as a witness to the marriage
• Bride and groom agree to dowry
• Both accept each other
• Sign contract of the marriage and dowry
• Two witnesses of the marriage sign the contract
• Followed by exchanging of rings
• More readings about the meaning of
• marriage
• Congratulations

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Premarital Relations in Judaism

• Jewish law prohibits an unmarried, unrelated man
  and woman from being alone long enough to have
  sexual relations
• These laws come from the Talmud
• The Torah does not prohibit premarital sex
  between a man and woman who can legally marry
• However, traditional Judaism strongly condemns
  the irresponsibility of sex outside of marriage.
  Premarital sex is considered to be improper and
  immoral

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Premarital Relations in Christianity

• Must maintain spiritual perspective
• Gods word plays an important role in our
  feelings and emotions
• The sexual act must take place exclusively within
  marriage
• 1st Corinthians 78-9

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Premarital Relations in Islam

• Supposed to guard your chastity
• A believer is defined in Surah 23
• a believer is one who abstains from sex except
  with those joined to them in marriage bond (and
  sexual captives)
• Duah with Allah
• Arrangement by family and get to know each other
  in group setting
• Both single men and women not supposed to look at
  members of opposite sex without modesty
• Surah 2430-31

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Forbidden Marriage in Judaism Christianity

• The Torah/ Old Testament forbids the marriage of
• close blood relatives
• the ex-wives of certain close blood relatives
• a woman who has not been validly divorced from
  her previous husband
• the daughter or granddaughter of his ex-wife
• the sister of his ex-wife during the ex-wife's
  life time

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Forbidden Marriage in Islam

• Surah 423 says
• Cannot marry women against their will
• No marriage to close blood relatives
• Including aunts and uncles
• This does not forbid marriage to cousins
• Cannot marry one wives of your sons, fathers,
  women who are already married

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Quick Note on Gay Marriage

• Forbidden by the conservative branches in all
  three religions.
• Liberal branches of Christianity and reform
  branches of Judaism
• accept homosexuality
• In some cases would allow gay marriage

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Marriage of Non- Believers Interfaith Marriage
in Judaism

• Traditional Judaism does not permit interfaith
  marriages
• The more liberal branches of Judaism have tried
  to embrace intermarried couples
• Marriage to a non-Jew is not recognized as
  "marriage" in Jewish law

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Marriage of Non- Believers Interfaith Marriage
in Christianity

• The fact that someone is an unbeliever is not a
  reason for not marrying, staying with them
• 1st Corinthians 712-14
• The non believer becomes Holy through the
  believer

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Worksheet Question 3

• Based on the assigned Surahs, what does the
  Quran say about marriage of people who do not
  believe in Allah? What about marriage between
  Muslims and the People of the Book (Jews and
  Christians)?

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Marriage of Non- Believers Interfaith Marriage
in Islam

• Muslim men can marry non Muslim women
• With the understanding that she will convert to
  Islam eventually
• Muslim women cannot marry non Muslim men
• Some contradictions
• Surah 2221
• It is lawful to marry People of the Book
• Surah 55

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Duties of Men and Women in Judaism

• A husband is responsible for providing his wife
  with food, clothing and sexual relations (Ex.
  2110)
• Primary duties for women are as wives and mothers
• Womens duties are different from mens but
  certainly no less important

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Duties of Men and Women in Christianity

• Ephesians 522
• Women are subordinate to husbands
• Husbands should love their wives as their own
  bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
  Ephesians 528

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Duties of Men and Women in Islam

• Husbands are the head of the family
• In terms of finance and decision making
• Surah 4 34 suggests men look after their wives
• It is the duty of a women to pleasure their
  husbands sexually
• Similar to Judaism, the duties of men and women
  are separate but equal

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Divorce and Remarriage

• Judaism has always accepted divorce
• Allowed by the words of Moses
• In Christianity divorce is very sinful
• It is the separation of one flesh that was
  conjoined by God and no human is able to break
  that bond
• Mt 104-12
• In Islam divorce is permitted with a settlement
  between a man and the woman
• Not unfair to the woman financially
• Of all things permitted, most hateful to Allah
• Surah 2228

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Group Discussion

• Based on our presentation of the different types
  of marriage, which is closest to the type of
  marriage you would want for yourself and why?