Polyamory: A Crash Course for the Curious - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

Loading...

PPT – Polyamory: A Crash Course for the Curious PowerPoint presentation | free to view - id: 18df0-ODExZ



Loading


The Adobe Flash plugin is needed to view this content

Get the plugin now

View by Category
About This Presentation
Title:

Polyamory: A Crash Course for the Curious

Description:

Polyamory can be a problem-creating lifestyle if not done ... Poly singles. Open marriage/Open relationship v. Expanded Relationship, Open-ended Marriage ... – PowerPoint PPT presentation

Number of Views:163
Avg rating:3.0/5.0
Slides: 16
Provided by: nanw3
Category:

less

Write a Comment
User Comments (0)
Transcript and Presenter's Notes

Title: Polyamory: A Crash Course for the Curious


1
Polyamory A Crash Course for the Curious
  • By Psychotherapist/Sex Therapist, Nan Wise, LCSW,
    ACSW
  • Author of Outrageous Intimacy Lessons from the
    Adventurous
  • www.OutrageousIntimacy.com
  • 973-632-0625

2
The Poly Parrot
3
Other Poly Symbols
4
Disclaimer
  • Do not jump into Polyamory without serious
    consideration and lots of coaching (you can reach
    me at 973-632-0625 for a phone consultation)
  • Monogamy is a valid love-style, and so is
    Polyamory
  • Polyamory can be a problem-creating lifestyle if
    not done mindfully, and even then, there were be
    lots of opportunities for growth.
  • Polyamory has all the problems of monogamy and
    then some.
  • If you enjoy communicating, if complexity in
    relating is a turn-on for you, do consider
    Polyamory!
  • If not, you might wish to stick with simpler
    forms of relationship. Traditional swinging is an
    alternative.

5
Speaking the New Love Lingo
  • Polyamory definition from the Greek and Latin
    roots meaning many loves. First proposed by
    Oberon and Morning Glory Zell to replace
    Responsible Nonmonogamy. Generally refers to
    love-styles that involve more than one partner,
    openly with the knowledge and consent of all
    involved.
  • Some argue that Polyamory neednt include
    sexuality, and can refer to multiple loves
    without the relationships being sexual.

6
Characteristics of polyamorous relationships
  • What the various forms have in common is that
    they are both sexual and lovingor sexualoving
    (Anapol,1992) with no separation between sex and
    lovecontrasting with casual, recreational sex.
  • Polyamorous relationships involve consciously
    choosing a particular love-style rather than
    automatically accepting the culturally defined,
    prescribed forms of relationship.

7
The evolution of terminology
  • Nonmonogamy used to mean having more than one
    spouse during a lifetime. It now means having
    more than one sexual partner during the same time
    period.
  • Traditionally, Nonmonogamy has often been
    non-consensual
  • Consensual Nonmonogamy has been called Negotiated
    Nonmonogamy or Responsible Nonmonogamy
  • Polyamory is one form of Consensual Nonmonogamy,
    Swinging is another
  • Polyamory can include all of the following and
    more

8
  • Polyfidelity
  • Poly singles
  • Open marriage/Open relationship v. Expanded
    Relationship, Open-ended Marriage
  • Group marriage
  • Multilateral marriage, Line marriage
  • Intimate networks
  • Triads/Quads
  • Nonexclusive relationship
  • Intimate friendship
  • Inclusive relationship
  • Couples who are currently monogamous who do not
    intend to remain exclusive

9
Polyamory The Skill Sets
  • The same skill sets necessary for traditional
    relationships are necessary for Polyamory. And
    you need to get really, really good at them.
  • Polyamory is a lot like monogamy, just with
    more people.
  • Ken Haslam, MD

10
Polyamory as a theory as well as a practice
  • Five principal outlined by Emens in Monogamys
    Law
  • 1) Self Knowledge as not only valuable, but
    necessarythe daily substrate of healthy
    relationships (Anapol).
  • 2) Radical Honesty (Brad Blanton) a heightened
    emphasis on communication and truth-telling about
    nonmonogamy is the most distinctive aspect of
    Polyamory

11
More poly philosophy
  • 3) Consent Honesty forms the basis of consent.
    Partners make informed decisions after received
    detailed information. Negotiating and keeping
    agreements is a huge focus of poly relating. The
    emphasis is on true consent rather than
    enforced consent.
  • 4) Self-Possession Emphasizes autonomy in
    relationship (contrast with the couple-front) in
    order to avoid merging into one human being.

12
And most distinctly
  • 5) Privileging Love and Sex particular to
    Polyamory is the idea that when it comes to love
    and sex, more expression and experience may truly
    be better than less.
  • Love is that condition wherein another persons
    happiness is essential to your own.
  • Robert Heinlein

13
Whats triggers people about Responsible
Nonmonogamy?
  • The resistance of our culture to legitimizing
    responsible nonmonogamy as a lifestyle may be due
    to
  • Concerns about polygamy (more specifically)
    polygyny as being exploitive of women
  • Eliciting of other taboos (fears), i.e., what
    about the kids? (e.g., homosexuals as potential
    pedophiles).
  • The Paradox of Prevalence (Monogamys Law, Emens,
    2003).
  • The widespread resistance to the idea of
    marriage between more than two people is actually
    the result of monogamys failure. The threat of
    Polyamory in a sense stems from its apparent
    prevalence.

14
More reasons Polyamory is controversial
  • Most people may want to sleep with other people,
    but they resist the impulse. From this
    perspective Polyamory may seem indulgent or
    greedy.
  • Polyamory involves telling our partners what we
    are up to. We are then confronted with our
    feelings about our partners having equal rights
    to explore with others. We are challenged to
    confront our fears, jealousy, and insecurity.

15
Polyamory will become Polyagony without. . .
  • Extreme Emotional intelligence
  • Fostering connection and attunement
  • Learning how to avoid emotional hijackings by
    constructively coping with JEALOUSY and managing
    NEW RELATIONSHIP ENERGY
  • Becoming a master of Negotiating and keeping
    Agreements
About PowerShow.com