Mon Sept 17 Whats Happening Today

1
(Mon Sept 17) Whats Happening Today

• Organization ideas for incident / trouble reports
  
• Grading discussion
• Committee Progress Email Report
• Trucking Incident Memo
• Style information and a practice HW exercise
• Begin (and hopefully complete) a short practice
  incident report (graded homework -- due 9/19)
• Ask questions about assignment comments and get
  help and advice for Trucking Incident Memo
  assignment

2
Committee Progress Email Report grading

• A range
• identified and successfully included something
  extra that would help or impress the audience
• no serious editing problems
• B range
• attempted to include something extra for audience
  but not entirely successful
• followed directions and included all required
  info
• one or two serious editing problems
• C range
• did not clearly follow directions or important
  items (defining objectives worksheet) missing
• several serious editing problems

3
Committee Progress Email Report comments

• Look at the EDITING comments
• This feedback will (hopefully) help you to begin
  effectively editing for subtle grammar and style
  in future reports
• What the comments mean
• vague uninformative, doesnt respond to
  audience needs
• sp / edit / typo glaring editing mistake
• gr grammar mistake
• wd wordy sentence
• awk / unc awkward or unclear statement
• pass passive voice
• Look at the WORKSHEET comments
• This feedback will (hopefully) help you to plan
  and organize future reports more effectively,
  clearly, and quickly

4
Trucking Incident Memo grading

• A range
• identified and successfully include something
  extra that would help or impress the audience
• no serious editing and very few (1-2) grammar
  problems
• style fits audience and purpose (short, clear,
  unambiguous)
• B range
• attempted to include something extra for audience
  but not entirely successful
• followed directions and included all required
  info
• a serious editing problem or some (3-5) grammar,
  clarity, readability problems
• C range
• did not clearly follow directions
• significant (gt5) serious editing, grammar,
  clarity, and readability problems

5
Trucking Incident Memowriting style

• Use SHORT, SIMPLE, CLEAR statements
• First-person active voice (pp.145-47 656-58
  660-61)
• Avoid using more than one comma ( NO
  SEMICOLONS!)
• Stick to SUBJECT / ACTION /
  OBJECT
• Example The students are writing their
  reports.
• This will help you to
• Write clearly (simple sentences are clear)
• Write efficiently (simple sentences arent wordy)
• Write correctly (simple sentences use simple
  grammar)

6
stick to SUBJECT / ACTION / OBJECT

• For example
• Jack Bauer climbs the hill.
• He fetches a pail.
• The pail is full of water.
• Jack then goes back down the hill.
• He uses the water to interrogate suspects.

7
SIMPLE sentences are . . .

• Simple to read
• EASILY
• QUICKLY
• CLEARLY
• Simple to edit
• CORRECTLY
• QUICKLY

8
COMPOUND sentences are . . .

• Harder to read easily
• Harder to read quickly
• Harder to edit later
• EASER to make grammatically ambiguous or
  incorrect

9
for example . . .

• Jack Bauer climbs the hill to fetch a pail that
  is full of water, and then he goes back down the
  hill to use the water to interrogate suspects.
• QUESTION
• What is the clear subject, action, and object in
  this compound sentence?

10
todays HW assignmentShort Practice Incident
Report

• Write as an email, send to Dr. Art Fricke
  (pretend that Im chair of the department) with a
  CLEAR subject line
• Send anytime BEFORE the start of next class
  period
• I will evaluate using pass/fail evaluation
  (100/50/0)
• Meet these requirements for 100
• useful format for audience, purpose, and medium
  (email)
• contains all information in the assignment
  description
• contains very few grammatically incorrect or
  ambiguous sentences
• contains NO COMPOUND SENTENCES !
• If your draft short practice incident report
  contains a comma or an and, then it probably
  contains a compound sentence and you will need to
  fix this with some careful editing.

11
for example . . .

• If your short practice incident report contains
  a comma or an and, then it probably contains a
  compound sentence and you will need to edit to
  fix this.
• Your short practice incident report might contain
  a comma or an and.
• This indicates it probably contains a compound
  sentence.
• You will need to fix this with some careful
  editing.