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People Styles at Work Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better

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Indecision is a turn off. More likely to change their minds. Excel at time management ... Indecisive. Nitpicky. Bureaucratic. Prudent. Painstaking. Systematic ... – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: People Styles at Work Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better


1
People Styles at Work Making Bad Relationships
Good and Good Relationships Better
September 28, 2004
  • Facilitator John Kosky, SPHR, CCP
  • Moderator Thomas A. George, Jr., PHR
  • Office of Human Resources

2
Summary You Will Be Able To
  • Understand how your style of working comes across
    to other people
  • Read other peoples behavior so you will know
    the best way to work with them
  • Find common ground with people while maintaining
    your individuality and integrity
  • Temporarily adjust your behavior in small ways
    that dramatically improve the results with
    different working styles
  • Relate effectivelyno matter how others react to
    the your behavior

3
Getting to Know One Another
  • Who are you?
  • Where do you work?
  • What do you do?

4
Module 1
  • Understanding People

5
No Wonder We Have People Problems!
  • 75 of the population is significantly different
    that you
  • Think differently
  • Decide differently
  • Work at a different pace
  • Manage stress differently
  • Behaviorally speaking, you are in the minority

6
People Are Predictable!
  • What is a Style?
  • Pattern of assertive and responsive behavior
  • There are three ingredients that comprise style
  • 1) Behavior
  • 2) Patterns
  • 3) Habits

7
Behavior
  • What a person does
  • The outer expression of a persons life
  • Body language
  • Vocal variety (pitch, rate and tone)
  • Task oriented or People oriented?
  • Behavior is a component of personality
  • Empirical what you see
  • This model is based on observing behavior

8
Patterns
  • Collection of behaviors
  • Group of traits that form a coherent, integrated
    whole
  • Thematic consistency

9
Habits
  • Style determined by habitual behavior
  • Frequently repeated in a given situation
  • Becomes second nature
  • Feels natural to us
  • Consistent from one situation to another

10
Predicting Probable Behavior
  • There are no certainties only probabilities
  • Avoid labeling
  • Other factors are
  • Generational
  • Socio-economic
  • Gender

11
Whats Your Style?
  • Model is designed with how other people see you
  • There are no good or bad styles
  • Diversity in style is a good thing

12
Lets Take The Behavioral Inventory
  • Choose the statement you think more closely
    describes how others perceive your behavior
  • Record your answer on how you are perceived by
    others
  • We will help you decipher your style later

13
Two Keys to Understanding People
14
Two Dimensions of Behavior
  • There are two dimensions of behavior that are
    relevant to the People Styles model
  • Assertiveness
  • Responsiveness

15
Assertiveness
Lets Define…
  • The degree to which ones behaviors are seen by
    others as being forceful or directive
  • Note -- Assertive is not synonymous with
    aggressive

16
Responsiveness
  • Lets Define…
  • The degree by which one is seen
  • by others as showing his or her emotions or
    demonstrating awareness of the feelings of others

17
Characteristics
  • Demonstrates less energy
  • Less intense eye contact
  • Speaks softly
  • Slower to address problems
  • Risk-averse or cautious
  • Less confrontational
  • Less disclosing of feelings
  • Appears more reserved
  • More task-oriented
  • Less adept at small-talk
  • Use more facts and logic
  • More structured use of time
  • Exude more energy
  • Address problems quicker
  • Risk-taker
  • More confrontational
  • Demonstrate anger quicker
  • Speaks loud and more often
  • Appears more friendly
  • Comfortable with small talk
  • Uses more anecdotes stories
  • Dresses more casually
  • Prefers working with people
  • Expresses feelings openly

18
The Social Style Grid
19
The Four Paths to Success
  • There are four styles in this model
  • Analyticals
  • Drivers
  • Expressives
  • Amiables

A
B
C
D
20
Four Paths to Success
  • Key Points to Remember
  • You cant change your dominant style
  • You are far more than your style
  • You are different from others in your style
  • Your acceptance of each style enables you to make
    this model work for you VERSUS against you

21
Interpreting the Inventory
  • Now You Are Aware of Your Style As You See It

22
The Analytical
  • Most perfectionist and critical style
  • Sticklers for detail
  • Want things to be done right!
  • Sets very high standards
  • Systematic and well-organized
  • The more data and facts, the better
  • Risk-averse
  • Comfortable in solitude
  • Quiet, reserved and low-key
  • Indirect when stating opinions

23
The Amiable
  • Team Player
  • Doesnt seek spotlight
  • Generous with their time
  • Quiet, empathetic and friendly
  • Confidants
  • Very skilled maintainers
  • Patient but slow to forget
  • Risk-averse
  • Natural peacemakers
  • Focused on maintaining relationships with people
  • Indirect when stating opinions

24
The Expressive
  • Most flamboyant and outgoing
  • Energetic always on the go
  • Dreamers outside of the box
  • Spontaneous
  • Emotional roller coaster
  • Playful and fun-loving
  • Risk-taker
  • Tend to think out loud
  • Free and easy approach to time
  • Skilled procrastinators
  • Direct when stating opinions

25
The Driver
  • Very results-focused
  • Get it Done!
  • Tends to forego the long-term and quality
  • Indecision is a turn off
  • More likely to change their minds
  • Excel at time management
  • Risk-taker
  • Body language purposeful
  • Can intimidate less assertive people
  • Direct when stating opinions

26
Styles Under Stress
  • What is a Backup Style?

In response to intense stress, behavior becomes
more extreme and inflexible. This style is what
we revert to in periods of high stress
People tend to shift styles when pressured
27
Expressive in Backup Attacking
  • Focus frustrations on other people
  • Usually in the form of loud and loaded personal
    attacks
  • Especially harmful to Amiables and Analyticals

28
Drivers in Backup Autocratic
  • Become very controlling
  • Try to impose thoughts and plans on others
  • Seem unbending to any ideas but their own

29
Amiables in Backup Acquiescing
  • Often difficult to know when this style is in
    backup
  • Normal avoidance to conflict and appease others
    becomes amplified
  • Tendency to go overboard
  • Respond with compliance
  • Takes them longer to reach backup

30
Analyticals in Backup Avoiding
  • Tries to avoid interpersonal tension
  • Becomes even more socially and emotionally
    withdrawn
  • Manufactures reasons to avoid contact with people

31
When You Are in Backup…
  • 1) Eliminate as much stress as you can
  • Do stress-reducing activities such as walking,
    listening to music, etc.
  • Temporarily moderate or eliminate stressors by
    cutting back on your schedule or avoiding the
    stressors
  • Change the way you think about things. Work on
    changing your reaction to stressors

32
When You Are in Backup…
  • Limit interpersonal damage
  • Refrain from making decisions while in backup

33
When Others Are in Backup…
  • Expect that people wont always be at their best
  • Detect when the other person is in backup
  • Avoid starting a backup cycle
  • Dont attempt to intervene
  • If at all possible, avoid doing business with
    people in backup

34
Break Time!
35
Module 2 The Key to Productive Relationships
36
What Style Flex Is…
  • Tailoring your behavior so the way you work fits
    better with the other persons style
  • Changing Your Behavior
  • Adjusting a Few Behaviors
  • Done Only at Key Times

37
What Style Flex Is Not…
  • Manipulation
  • More likely to work against you
  • To manipulate others is to harm yourself
  • Is unethical
  • Conformity
  • Not picking someone elses views
  • Can cause harm in long-term relationships
  • Theory of the Yes Man

38
How to Identify a Persons Style
  • Four Step Process
  • You Should
  • Put aside tendency to read into behavior
  • Observe the Levels of Assertiveness
  • Observe the Levels of Responsiveness

39
Four Steps to A Better Relationship
  • Four Step Process
  • Identify
  • Plan
  • Implement
  • Evaluate

40
Four Step Process
  • Identify
  • Note your own style
  • Identify the other persons style
  • Plan
  • Note style differences
  • Identify behaviors that you can change
  • Implement
  • Interacting with the other person

41
Four Step Process
  • Evaluate
  • After action critique
  • Did your style flex work?
  • What can you do better next time?
  • Lets Take A Look!
  • Lets Try It!

42
Exercise
  • Select a partner near you, preferably someone you
    do not know well
  • Using the Flex Plan worksheet, assist each other
    in
  • Developing a plan to interact with a CCSU
    employee of your choice
  • Validate each others style

43
When to Flex Your Style
  • Not all the time temporarily adjust a few
    behaviors at key times
  • Excessive adaptability is dangerous and can lead
    to mistrust and create suspicion
  • Open in parallel
  • Just-in-time
  • When something important is at stake

44
Levels of Assertiveness
45
Levels of Responsiveness
46
Too Much of a Good Thing
  • Discussion
  • What do you think are the strengths of each
    style?
  • Analyticals
  • Amiables
  • Expressives
  • Drivers
  • When style is extremely dominating, how does that
    come across to people?

47
Strengths and Antidotes
48
Antidotes
49
Methods for Style Flexing
50
For Amiables
51
For Amiables
52
For Expressives
53
For Expressives
54
For Drivers
  • Slow your pace talk less and slower
  • Avoid unnecessary tight deadlines dont rush
  • Reflect back to the speaker the gist of what you
    hear
  • Provide pauses during conversation invite them
    to speak
  • Dont interrupt or finish their sentences
  • Be prepared to listen to more than you want to
    know
  • Give a sound rationale for narrowing the options
  • Go into considerable detail give rationale for
    options
  • Mention to pros cons of the proposal that you
    put forward
  • Be prepared and go into great detail
  • Dont seem aloof be more casual and informal
    than usual
  • Highlight recommendations of others dont overdo
    facts Talk about things that are not task-related
  • Be aware of acknowledge what the Expressive are
    feeling
  • Dont overreact to the Expressives highs and
    lows
  • Demonstrate more enthusiasm and show more
    feelings Try to support their vision steer clear
    of the nitty-gritty
  • Be tactful when contradicting spend time in
    mutual exploration
  • Cater to the physical restlessness Let them have
    spotlight

55
For Drivers
56
For Analyticals
57
For Analyticals
58
The Bigger Picture
  • Make note of style composition of
  • Work units or departments
  • Project teams
  • Organizations

59
Summary Today, You Learned…
  • How to understand how your preferred style of
    working comes across to other people
  • How toread other peoples behavior so you will
    know the best way to work with them
  • How to find common ground with people while
    maintaining your individuality and integrity
  • How to adjust your behavior in small ways that
    dramatically improve the results with different
    working styles
  • How to relate effectivelyno matter how others
    react to the participants behavior

60
Questions?
61
Resources
  • People Styles at Work, written by Robert and
    Dorothy Grover Bolton
  • American Management Association (1996) ISBN
    0-8144-7723-2
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