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DARE TO REVISE

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Impersonal; may generally refer to readers but does not name them or refer to ... Makes writing boring and pompous. Use Passive Verbs when... – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: DARE TO REVISE


1
DARE TO REVISE
  • Make Your Writing Easy to Read
  • A Partial Overview of Chapter 15

2
Remember These…
  • WIRMI(What I Really Mean Is…)
  • KISS (Keep It Simple Smartly)
  • DARE (Delete, Add, Rearrange, Edit)

3
Different Levels of Style
4
Different Levels of Style
5
Half-Truths About Style
  • Write as you talk.
  • Never use I.
  • Never begin a sentence with And or But.
  • Never end a sentence with a preposition.
  • Big words impress people.

6
Use Accurate, Appropriate and Familiar Words
  • Accurate words mean what you want to say.
  • Appropriate words convey the attitudes you want
    and fit well with other words in your document.
  • Familiar words are easy to read and understand.

7
Eliminate Business Jargon
  • Example One
  • Jargon Foot the average monthly budget column
    down to Total Variable Costs, Total Management
    Fixed Costs, Total Sunk Costs, and Grand Total.
  • Better Add the Figures in the average monthly
    budget column for each category to determine the
    Total Variable Costs, the Total Management Fixed
    Costs, and the Total Sunk Costs. Then add the
    totals for each category to arrive at the Grand
    Total.

8
Eliminate Business Jargon
  • Example Two
  • Jargon Additional parameters for price
    exception reporting were established for nonstock
    labor buy costs.
  • Better We decided to include nonstock labor
    buys of over _____ in the price exception report.

9
Eliminate Businessese Jargon
10
Do the following
  • Read your proposal out loud to someone sitting
    three feet away. If the words sound stiff, they
    will sound stiff to the reader.
  • Ask someone to read your draft out loud. The
    places where someone stumbles is where your
    writing could be better.

11
Use Active Verbs
  • Active
  • The customer received 500 widgets.
  • I recommend this action.
  • The state agencies will implement the program.
  • Passive
  • Five hundred widgets were received by the
    customer.
  • This method is recommended by me.
  • The program will be implemented by the state
    agencies.

12
Change Passive to Active
  • Active
  • The plant manager approved the request.
  • The committee will decide next month.
  • You Send the customer a letter informing her
    about the change.
  • Passive
  • The request was approved by the ltplant manager.gt
  • A decision will be made next month. No agent in
    sentence.
  • A letter will be sent informing the customer of
    the change. No agent in the sentence

13
Three Disadvantages of Passive Verbs
  • Makes sentences longer.
  • Unclear who is doing action.
  • Makes writing boring and pompous.

14
Use Passive Verbs when…
  • Use passives to emphasize object receiving
    action.
  • Your order was shipped November 15.
  • Use passives to provide coherence within a
    paragraph.
  • The bank made several risky loans in the late
    1990s. These loans were written off as
    uncollectible in 2001.
  • Use passives to avoid assigning blame.
  • The order was damaged during shipment.

15
Use Verbs to Carry the Weight
  • Revise sentences to use more forceful verbs
  • Weak The financial advantage of owning this
    equipment instead of leasing it is 10 after
    taxes.
  • Better Owning this equipment rather than leasing
    it will save us 10 after taxes.
  • Weak We will perform an investigation of the
    problem.
  • Better We will investigate the problem.
  • Weak Selection of a program should be based on
    the clients needs.
  • Better Select the program that best fits the
    clients needs.

16
Revise Nouns to Verbs
  • Make an adjustment
  • Make a payment
  • Make a decision
  • Reach a conclusion
  • Take into consideration
  • Make a referral
  • Provide assistance
  • Adjust
  • Pay
  • Decide
  • Conclude
  • Consider
  • Refer
  • Assist

17
Do the following
  • Go through and circle all verbs. Transform your
    writing from noun-based to verb-based prose.
  • Moreover, does your first section answer in one
    sentence the purpose of your proposal?
  • Is your audience clearly stated?
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