Introduction to Interpersonal Communication

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Introduction to Interpersonal Communication

• Prof. Tamara Arrington
• COM 252
• University of Kentucky

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What is communication?

• What do you think communication is? How would you
  define it?
• Take a few moments to write
  write down some
• thoughts

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Communication

• Communication is defined as the interchange of
  thoughts or opinions through shared symbols e.g.
  language, words, phrases
• Some synonyms of the word communication are
  message, directive, word, contact, commerce,
  communion, intercommunication, intercourse
  converse, exchange, interchange, conversing,
  discussing, talking conversation, discussion,
  talk, advice, intelligence, news, tidings

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Shared symbols

• Sometimes when we communicate we assume we are
  using shared symbols when we might not be
• Think about the term asap, as soon as
  possible. What does it really mean?
• Think about how the meaning might change in the
  situations on the next slide

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Shared symbols

• How might your meaning of asap change in these
  situations?
• Someone from another department calls. He needs
  some detailed information asap but you are
  already rather busy.
• A coworker comes to you for help with an
  assignment. She needs you asap but you have
  another job to finish before lunch.
• Your immediate supervisor, whom you like to
  please, asks you to type a memo for her asap but
  you already have a stack of other jobs to finish.

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Shared symbols

• Someone from another department calls. He needs
  some detailed information asap but you are
  already rather busy.
• In this situation, you might interpret asap as
  when I have finished all of my own work and have
  a chance to get to it. It might be tomorrow or
  the next day.

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Shared symbols

• A coworker comes to you for help with an
  assignment. She needs you asap but you have
  another job to finish before lunch.
• In this situation, you might interpret asap as
  after I have finished my own work, I will help
  out after lunch.

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Shared symbols

• Your immediate supervisor, whom you like to
  please, asks you to type a memo for her asap but
  you already have a stack of other jobs to finish.
• In this situation, you might interpret asap as
  Ill do this now and finish my other work
  afterwards.

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Shared symbols

• In the previous examples, weve seen the meaning
  of asap change from in a few days to
  immediately.
• Many other words and phrases are also vague and
  have different meanings for different people.
• Shared symbols are not always completely shared.
  The message intended is not always the message
  received.

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Principle of Communication

• Stimulates meaning in the mind of the other
• Both verbal and nonverbal
• Symbolic
• A process

• Functional
• Systematic
• Interactional
• Transactional

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Principles of IPC

• Involves a process of adjustment
• Every message has both a content and relational
  level of meaning
• Relationships may be viewed as symmetrical or
  complementary
• Can be intentional or unintentional

• Communication is a series of punctuated events
• IPC is a transactional process
• Inevitable
• Irreversible
• Unrepeatable

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Maxims of Communication

• You cannot not communicate.
• Watzlawick, Beavin, Jackson, 1967
• The quality of your communication directly
  affects the quality of your life.
• There is no one right way to be an effective
  communicator, or do a relationship.

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Myths About Communication

• Communication will solve all our problems
• We need more communication
• Communication can break down
• All communication seeks understanding

• Communication is a good thing
• Meanings are in words
• Communication is a natural ability
• A competent communicator is competent across
  contexts
• Causality can usually be attributed to a single
  action

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Why do we communicate?

• What do you think?
• Take a few moments to write
  down some of your thoughts
  

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Why we communicate

• We communicate to
• Share our ideas and opinions
• Provide feedback to others
• Get information from others
• Gain power and influence
• Develop social relationships
• Maintain self-expression and our culture
• and other ideas you may have thought of

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How do we communicate?

• Think of the many ways in which you communicate
• Take a few moments to
• write down some of your
  thoughts

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How we communicate

• We communicate and build interpersonal
  relationships through
• Speech
• Writing
• Listening
• Non-verbal language
• Music, art, and crafts

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Choosing your medium

• Depending upon the situation, one method of
  communication may be better than another.
• In person one-to-one
• In person meetings, small groups
• In person presentations, large groups
• Letter
• Memo
• Note
• Email
• Voice mail

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Choosing your medium

• To determine the best medium for your message
  determine
• What you as the sender need to achieve
• What the receiver needs to know. What the
  receiver wants to know
• How detailed, important, and or personal the
  information in the message is
• Which behavior you want to influence and how

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Choosing your medium

• How would you communicate
• To your parents that you were getting married
• To your friend that you quit your job
• To your co-worker about a notice of a meeting
• To a classmate that you wanted to work together
  on the project
• To your teacher that you were having problems in
  the class
• Take a few moments to write down some of
  your thoughts

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Barriers to communication

• What are barriers to communication that exist in
  these settings?
• School
• Work
• Family
• Take a few moments to
• write down some of
• your thoughts

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Barriers to communication

• Some common barriers to interpersonal
  communication include
• Unclear process The receiver and sender may not
  share the same language, slang, jargon,
  vocabulary, symbols
• Chain of command There may be too many layers
  that a message passes through between sender and
  receiver
• Large size of an organization, geographic
  distance Large numbers of receivers require good
  message sending methods
• Personal limitations Physical and mental
  disabilities, and differences in intelligence and
  education may interfere with mutual understanding

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Barriers to communication

• Additional common barriers to interpersonal
  communication include
• Human nature Peoples egos, prejudices, and
  traditions can get in the way
• Conflicting feelings, goals, opinions If people
  feel on opposite sides of an issue they may not
  share
• Power The idea that knowledge is power can lead
  to information hoarding
• and other ideas you may have thought of

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Sharing your ideas

• Why and when is it necessary to share your ideas?
• Take a few moments to write
  down some of your thoughts
  

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We share ideas to

• State an opinion or position
• Give instructions or directions
• Announce a change
• Make presentations
• Participate in meetings
• Give information in emergencies
• Communicate the organizational mission, vision,
  and values
• and other ideas you may have thought of

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Obstacles to sharing ideas

• What can make sharing ideas difficult?
• Take a few moments to write
  down some of your thoughts
  

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Obstacles to sharing ideas

• Your own shyness
• Fear of rejection
• Peer pressure
• Unorganized thinking
• Others possibly becoming defensive
• Physical disabilities (impaired sight, hearing,
  speech)
• Having to deal with aggressive people
• and others you may have thought of

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Speak for yourself

• To ensure your messages are clear, speak for
  yourself, not for others
• Speaking for yourself sounds like
• I, me, my
• I think, I feel, I want to know that
• Speaking for no one sounds like
• It, some people, everyone, they decided
• Speaking for others sounds like
• We, you, John, Mary said

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SHARE your ideas a model

• State the main point of your message
• Highlight other important points
• Assure the receivers understanding
• React to how the receiver responds
• Emphasize/summarize your main ideas

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SHARE an example

• State the main point of your message
• Id like to talk to you the new employee welcome
  program.
• Highlight other important points
• We need to discuss the new schedule, locations,
  and presenters.
• Assure the receivers understanding
• Do you need me to further clarify how we are
  making invitations?
• React to how the receiver responds
• I understand your concern about parking.
• Emphasize/summarize your main ideas
• To wrap-up, Ill develop the schedule and make
  the room reservations, if you can line up the
  guest speakers.

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Getting good information

• Why is it necessary to get good information from
  others?
• Take a few moments to write
  down some of your thoughts
  

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Get good information to

• Find out facts and details
• Get directions or instructions
• Try to understand anothers point of view
• Help someone solve a problem
• Resolve a team conflict
• Solve work problems
• and other ideas you may have thought of

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Obstacles to getting good information

• What can make getting good information difficult?
• Take a few moments to write
  down some of your thoughts

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Obstacles to getting good information

• Lack of trust
• Assuming you already know it all
• Jumping to conclusions
• Not valuing diverse opinions
• Weak reading skills
• Weak listening skills
• Weak questioning skills
• and other ideas you may have thought of

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Competent Communication Involves

• Having a large repertoire of skills
• Becoming adaptable
• Knowledge and skill
• Being involved
• Having empathy perspective-taking
• Being cognitively complex
• Self-monitoring
• Tolerating ambiguity
• Being open-minded

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So what makes a relationship?
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3 Primary Functions of Relationships

• Inclusion
• We all need to be a part of something
• We have social and identity needs
• Affection
• We all need to be loved
• Absence of failure to thrive (Maslow)
• We have physical needs
• Control
• All have a need to be influenced
• All have a need to influence others
• We have practical needs

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Continuum of Relationships(Steve Duck,
University of Iowa, 1989)

• It is impossible to have a non-interpersonal
  relationship
• The basic unit of interpersonal communication is
  the dyad
• There exists a continuum of relationships between
  social and personal
• A relationship begins when there exists a mutual
  recognition of the other
• Not a personal relationship until a mutual
  caring and concern exists between people

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What Makes a Relationship Personal?

• The interaction is personal
• It is unique
• It is irreplaceable
• There is interdependence
• There is self-disclosure
• There are intrinsic rewards