The Challenge: To Create More Value in All Negotiations

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Excellence. Leadership. Hard is soft. soft is
hard. Tom Peters/1209.08
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Excellence Leading as Symbolic Behavior Tom
Peters/1203.08
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Nothing is so contagious as enthusiasm.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
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You must be the change you wish to see in
the world. Gandhi The silliest debate
imaginable is style versus substance.Noth
ing is so contagious as enthusiasmperhaps the
most substantive remark Ive ever read. If
excellence in execution is the last 98, which
it surely is, then enthusiasm is the foremost
word in the language in the world of enterprise
effectiveness. Its simple for leaders, style
substance.
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The first and greatest imperative of command is
to be present in person. Those who impose risk
must be seen to share it. John Keegan, The
Mask of Command
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Show up.
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CBVACommand By Visiting About/U.S.
Grant/circa 1865 (In these days of telegraph
and steam I can command while traveling and
visiting about.)
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Ah, my beloved Grant.
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MBWAManaging By Wandering Around/Hewlett-Pac
kard/circa 1965
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A body can pretend to care, but they cant
pretend to be there. Texas Bix Bender
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The deepest human need is the need to be
appreciated.William James
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It is necessary for the President to be the
nations No. 1 actor.FDR
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Acting skills.
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An actor in his youth, Pope John Paul was a
master of grand gestures. USA Today
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Prison was a political stage. He honed his
natural ability for theater toward the
achievement of political ends, rehearsing his
role among his jailers. taught himself their
language set about learning the Afrikaan
mentality John Carlin, Playing the Enemy
Nelson Mandela and the Game that Made a Nation.
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Teaching is, of course, a form of theater.
While the point is to have the students learn,
the teacher has to explain, cajole, provoke,
inspire, criticize, demand, love. Like acting,
teaching demands much of personality X Y,
Zgreat teachers were all hams in their own
way. Ted Sizer, Horaces Compromise The
Dilemma of the American High School
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Its always showtime. David DAlessandro,
Career Warfare
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A key perhaps the key to leadership is
the effective communication of a story. Howard
Gardner, Leading Minds An Anatomy of Leadership
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Add storytelling.
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MBSAManaging By Storying Around/David
Armstrong/Armstrong Industries/circa 1985
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To change minds effectively, leaders make
particular use of two tools the stories that
they tell and the lives that they lead.
Howard Gardner, Changing Minds
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You must be the change you wish to see in the
world.Gandhi
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You Your calendarCalendars never lie
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Presence where it matters. Intimacy. Leaders
world is theater. Acting skills. Great (!)
storyteller. The life you live, 24/7/365
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ExcellenceFriendship,smiles, charm,body
languageTom Peters/1203.08
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Dwight D. Eisenhower
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Allied commands depend on mutual confidence
and this confidence is gained, above all
through the development of friendships.
General D.D. Eisenhower, Armchair General
(05.08)Perhaps his most outstanding ability
at West Point was the ease with which he made
friends and earned the trust of fellow cadets who
came from widely varied backgrounds it was a
quality that would pay great dividends during
his future coalition command
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Ike An American Hero, Michael Korda/pp268-371
infectious grin and great charm nice face
grin that was to become so famous got
along famously goodwill was spontaneous and
easily recognizable good impression that Ike
had made in six weeks newcomer junior general
to supreme commander, Torch Marshall-ADM
King-Roosevelt-Churchill-British Chiefs of Staff
least rank-conscious of generals Men were
happy to serve under Ike, even British admirals
and generals who might easily have raised
objections. His sincerity and lack of ceremony
made it difficult, even impossible, to refuse
him, and enabled him very rapidly to pull a team
together Ike was gregarious, rarely had
anything bad to say about anyone, and, on the
surface at least, was relaxed and good natured.
Whereas Ikes good humor was genuine,
unaffected, and affectionate, Montys Field
Marshall Montgomery was cruel and mocking and
always carried a sting
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Ike An American Hero, Michael Korda/p430 The
Allies had generals with, perhaps, a sharper
strategic vision than Ike. There were also
generals who were more experienced at fighting a
battle. But there was nobody who had anything
like Ikes record of leading people in an
alliancealways the most difficult feat in
warfare. What is more, Ike somehow inspired
people civilians and ordinary soldiers of both
nations, even cynical political figures and the
always troublesome French. Something about his
big grin his long-limbed, loose American way of
walking (the Kansas farm boy grown to a man) his
easy, familiar way of speaking to everybody from
King George VI down to privates in both armies
his lack of pretension his evident sincerity
They were willing to be led by him, They were
willing to have him command their sons and
husbands in battle. They trusted him. They were
willing to die for him.
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nelson Mandela
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Mandela, a model host in his prison hospital
room smiled grandly, put Justice Minister
Kobie Coetzee at his ease, and almost
immediately, to their quietly contained surprise,
prisoner and jailer found themselves chatting
amiably. It had mostly to do with body
language, with the impact Mandelas manner had on
people he met. First there was his erect posture.
Then there was the way he shook hands. The effect
was both regal and intimidating, were it not for
Mandelas warm gaze and his big, easy smile.
Coetzee was surprised by Mandelas willingness to
talk in Afrikaans, his knowledge of Afrikaans
history. Coetzee He was a born leader. And he
was affable. He was obviously well liked by the
hospital staff and yet he was respected even
though they knew he was a prisoner. Source
John Carlin, Playing the Enemy Nelson Mandela
and the Game that Made a Nation. (Mandela meets
surreptitiously with justice minister after
decades in prisonand turns on the charm)
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Prison was a political stage. He honed his
natural ability for theater toward the
achievement of political ends, rehearsing his
role among his jailers. taught himself their
language set about learning the Afrikaan
mentality Source John Carlin, Playing the
Enemy Nelson Mandela and the Game that Made a
Nation)
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Guard He actually preached this to us, the
Afrikaaner was an African. whatever solution
there was going to be on the political issues was
going to involve Afrikaans people. Source John
Carlin, Playing the Enemy Nelson Mandela and
the Game that Made a Nation.
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He set himself a goalto persuade them to treat
him with dignity. Source John Carlin, Playing
the Enemy Nelson Mandela and the Game that
Made a Nation.
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Mandela re jailers The key to it was respect,
ordinary respect. George Bizos, Mandelas
lawyer, Im sorry, I have not introduced you to
my guard of honor eight guards. Mandela
identified each of the officers to Bizos by name.
The guards were so stunned per Bizos that they
actually behaved like a guard of honor, each
respectfully shaking my hand. Source John
Carlin, Playing the Enemy Nelson Mandela and
the Game that Made a Nation.
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Major Van Sittert, brute commanding officers,
immune to Mandelas charm He thought hard,
probing for weakness. And he found one. Sittert
was a rugby nut. So, Mandela, who had no special
interest in rugby the quintessential white mans
sport, set about zealously learning the game in
preparation for the majors monthly visit.
Christo Brand, guard Mandela was very polite as
usual. He greeted Sittert with a big smile, and
then immediately started talking rugby. Once
the major got over his amazement, he became very
animated, agreeing with Mandela on almost every
point he made. You could see all those doubts of
the major just melting away. Source John
Carlin, Playing the Enemy Nelson Mandela and
the Game that Made a Nation
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The Springboks had become, literally,
political players. On this morning of the final,
they understood with daunting clarity that
victory against New Zealand might achieve the
seemingly impossible unite a country more
polarized by racial division than any other in
the world. Source John Carlin, Playing the
Enemy Nelson Mandela and the Game that Made a
Nation. (Mandela uses Rugby World Cup
championship game to unite South Africa)
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?We hire people who smileStarbucks manager
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dr. Paul farmer
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a luminescent smile hed greet the
hospital operator Brigham and Womens, Boston
whichever of the dozen or so came on the
lineand quickly ask about her blood pressure or
her husbands heart condition, or her mothers
diabetes Farmer sat down on Joes bed, on
the corner of a mattress, folding himself half
around Joe He placed a hand on Joes shoulder
and stroked it. as if there were no one else in
the world. Tracy Kidder, Mountains Beyond
Mountains The Quest of Dr. Paul Farmer, a Man
Who Would Cure the World
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Ben Franklin
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In the same bitter winter of 1776 that Gen.
George Washington led his beleaguered troops
across the Delaware River to safety, Benjamin
Franklin sailed across the Atlantic to Paris to
engage in an equally crucial campaign, this one
diplomatic. A lot depended on the bespectacled
and decidedly unfashionable 70-year-old as he
entered the worlds fashion capitol sporting a
simple brown suit and a fur cap. Franklins
miracle was that armed only with his canny
personal charm and reputation as a scientist and
philosopher, he was able to cajole a wary French
government into lending the fledgling American
nation an enormous fortune. The enduring image
of Franklin in Paris tends to be that of a
flirtatious old man, too busy visiting the citys
fashionable salons to pursue affairs of state as
rigorously as John Adams. When Adams joined
Franklin in Paris in 1779, he was scandalized by
the late hours and French lifestyle his colleague
had adopted, says Stacy Schiff, in A Great
Improvisation Adams was clueless that it was
through the dropped hints and seemingly offhand
remarks at these salons that so much of French
diplomacy was conducted. Like the Beatles
arriving in America, Franklin aroused a
fervorhis face appeared on prints, teacups and
chamber pots. The extraordinary popularity served
Franklins diplomatic purposes splendidly. Not
even King Louis XVI could ignore the enthusiasm
that had won over both the nobility and the
bourgeoisie. Source In Paris, Taking the
Salons By Storm How the Canny Ben Franklin
Talked the French into Forming a Crucial
Alliance, U.S. News World Report, 0707.08
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The ragtag and victory-less Continental Army was
retreating, George Washington notwithstanding.
For the Americans, finding an ally was a life or
death proposition. Short, fat old Benjamin
Franklin was our man in Paris. Short, fat and old
though he may have been, he was a Charmer. He won
the hearts and devotion of the ladies of high
society with his mastery of Tea Flattery. The
Americans eked out a success at Saratoga which
Franklin turned into an epic victoryand the
besotted ladies convinced their mighty husbands
to get behind the Americans. The rest, as they
say, is history. The launchpad for Gulf War I
was Saudi Arabia. Despite the Saudis need to have
Iraqs Kuwaiti incursion reversed, the Kingdom
was touchy about the massive American military
presence on their Holy soil. Allied supreme
commander Norm Schwarzkopf says, tongue only half
in cheek, that his principal contribution to the
war effort was nightly marathon sessions sipping
tea with the Crown Prince. The point No
matter how weighty the cause, giving good
teaan incredible and expensive (in terms of
time) investment in key relationships is
typically invaluable and of decisive strategic
importance. Message Master the Art of
Teametaphorically at leastand make it in to the
history books.
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Give good tea!
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Captain mike
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Retired United States Navy Captain Mike
Abrashoff knows the importance of saying Thank
you. In Its Your Ship, Abrashoff relates how he
sent letters to the parents of his crew members
on the guided-missile destroyer USS Benfold, many
of whom came from underprivileged backgrounds.
Putting himself in those parents shoes, he
imagined how happy they would be to hear from the
Commanding Officer that their sons and daughters
were doing well. And he figured that those
parents would, in turn, call their children to
tell them how proud they were of them.
Abrashoff debated whether to send a letter to
the parents of one young man who wasnt really
star material. Weighing the sailors progress,
he decided to go ahead. A couple of weeks later,
the sailor appeared at his door, tears streaming
down his face. It seems that the kids father
had always considered him a failure and told him
so. After reading the captains letter, he
called to congratulate his son and tell him how
proud he was of him. Captain, I cant thank you
enough, said the young man. For the first time
in his life, he felt loved and encouraged by his
father. As Abrashoff says, Leadership is the
art of practicing simple thingscommonsense
gestures that ensure high morale and vastly
increase the odds of winning. In other words,
small changes can have big consequences.
Source  Rick Faulk and Barry Libert, BARACK,
INC. What Business Can Learn from
the Obama Campaign
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Charlie Wilson et al.
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George Crile (Charlie Wilsons War) on Charlie
Wilson The way things normally work, if youre
not Jewish you dont get into the Jewish caucus,
but Charlie did. And if youre not black you
dont get into the black caucus. But Charlie
plays poker with the black caucus they had a
game, and hes the only white guy in it. The
House of Representatives, like any human
institution, is moved by friendships, and no
matter what people might think about Wilsons
antics, they tend to like him and enjoy his
company.
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The 95 Factor What I learned from my years as
a hostage negotiator is that we do not have to
feel powerlessand that bonding is the antidote
to the hostage situation. George Kohlrieser,
Hostage at the Table
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The Real Worlds Little Rule Book Ben/tea Norm
/tea DDE/make friends WFBuckley/make friends-help
friends Gust/Suck down Charlie/poker
pal-BOF Eddie (Edward VII)/dance-flatter-mingle-le
arn the language Vlad (Putin)/birthday party of
outgroup guys wife CIO/finance network ERP
installer/consult-one line of code GE
Energy/make friends in risk assessment GWB/check
the invitation list GHWB/T-notes Hank
(Paulson)/60 calls MarkM/5K-5M Delaware/show
up Oppy (Oppenheimer)/snub Lewis Strauss NM
(Mandela)/smile -4.3T/tin ear TP/3M, Im
sorry tp.com/Big 4-What do you think? Women/genes
Banker/after church Total Bloody Mess/Can they
pay back the loan?
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Sorry, take forever to cover all this.
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Exuberance The Passion for Life, by Kay
Redfield Jamison
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Exuberance The Passion for Life, by Kay Redfield
Jamison I believe exuberance is incomparably
more important than we acknowledge. If, as has
been claimed, enthusiasm finds the opportunities
and energy makes the most of them, a mood of mind
that yokes the two of them is formidable indeed.
Exuberance is, at its quick, contagious. As it
spreads pell-mell through a group, exuberance
excites, it delights, and it dispels tension. It
alerts the group to change and possibility.
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Exuberance The Passion for Life, by Kay Redfield
Jamison At a time of weakness and mounting
despair in the democratic world, Roosevelt stood
out by his astonishing appetite for life and by
his apparently complete freedom from fear of the
future as a man who welcomed the future eagerly
as such, and conveyed the feeling that whatever
the times might bring, all would be grist to his
mill, nothing would be too formidable or crushing
to be subdued. He had unheard of energy and gusto
and was a spontaneous, optimistic,
pleasure-loving ruler with unparalleled capacity
for creating confidence. Isaiah Berlin on FDR
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Exuberance The Passion for Life, by Kay Redfield
Jamison A leader is someone who creates
infectious enthusiasm. Ted Turner Glorious
was a term John Muir would invoke time and
again despite his conscious attempts to
eradicate it from his writing. Glorious and
joy and exhilaration no matter how often he
scratched out these words once he had written
them, they sprang up time and again To meet
Roosevelt, said Churchill, with all his buoyant
sparkle, his iridescence, was like opening a
bottle of champagne. Churchill, who knew both
champagne and human nature, recognized ebullient
leadership when he saw it. The multitudes were
swept forward till their pace was the same as
his. Churchill on T.E. Lawrence
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I am a dispenser of enthusiasm. Ben Zander,
symphony conductor-management guru
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EX-UB-ER-ANCE!
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Readily make friends (quality, quantity) Likes
people!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Body language (esp. open,
biiiiiiiiiiiiig, easy smile) Common
touch Listening skills-sensitivity Courtesy De
cency Intensity of engagement (as if there
were no one else in the world) Desperate to
make people successful Work (and plan) like a
demon at relationshipsits always
theater Enthusiasm-energy-exuberance (obvious
appetite for life)
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Courtesies of a small and trivial character are
the ones which strike deepest in the grateful and
appreciating heart. Henry Clay
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ExcellenceRespect!Tom Peters/1204.08
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• It was much later that I realized Dads secret.
  He gained respect by giving it. He talked and
  listened to the fourth-grade kids in Spring
  Valley who shined shoes the same way he talked
  and listened to a bishop or a college president.
  He was seriously interested in who you were and
  what you had to say.
• Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot, Respect

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The Union senior officers rode past the
Confederates smugly without any sign of
recognition except by one. When General Grant
reached the line of ragged, filthy, bloody,
despairing prisoners strung out on each side of
the bridge, he lifted his hat and held it over
his head until he passed the last man of that
living funeral cortege. He was the only officer
in that whole train who recognized us as being on
the face of the earth. quote within a quote
from diary of a Confederate soldier
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We behaved as if we were guests in their house.
We treated them not as a defeated people, but as
allies. Our success became their success. How
One Soldier Brought Democracy to Iraq The Mayor
of Ar Rutbah (MAJ James Gavrilis/USA Special
Forces)
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Dont belittle! OD Consultant, sole piece of
advice to major client
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What creates trust, in the end, is the
leaders manifest respect for the followers.
Jim OToole, Leading Change
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The deepest human need is the need to be
appreciated.William James
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I wasnt bowled over by David Boies
intelligence. What impressed me was that when
he asked a question, he waited for an answer. He
not only listened, he made me feel like I was the
only person in the room. Lawyer Kevin _____,
on his first, inadvertent meeting with David
Boies, from Marshall Goldsmith, The One Skill
That Separates, Fast Company, 07.05
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No matter what the situation, the excellent
managers first response is always to think
about the individual concerned and how things can
be arranged to help that individual experience
success. Marcus Buckingham, The One Thing You
Need to Know
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Either love your players or get out of
coaching. Bobby Dodd, legendary football coach.
I do not need to like my players, but I must
love them. Vince Lombardi I have always
believed that the purpose of the corporation is
to be a blessing to the employees. Boyd
Clarke The deepest human need is the need to be
appreciated. William James
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Ph.D. in leadership. Short course Make a short
list of all things done to you that you abhorred.
Dont do them to others. Ever. Make another list
of things done to you that you loved. Do them to
others. Always. Dee Hock, founder, Visa
International
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Nothing is so contagious as enthusiasm.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge