The Same and Different: Crossing Boundaries of Color, Culture, Sexual Preference, Disability, and Age By: Letty Cottin Pogrebin - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

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The Same and Different: Crossing Boundaries of Color, Culture, Sexual Preference, Disability, and Age By: Letty Cottin Pogrebin

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Title: The Same and Different: Crossing Boundaries of Color, Culture, Sexual Preference, Disability, and Age By: Letty Cottin Pogrebin


1
The Same and Different Crossing Boundaries of
Color, Culture, Sexual Preference, Disability,
and Age By Letty Cottin Pogrebin
  • By Brooke Farber
  • Workshop Chapter 11 Part 4
  • Monday April 13th 2009

2
Question
  • all of us have friends that are "different" than
    us. How would you explain your relationship? is
    it a comfortable and trusting relationship? Or is
    it difficult to communicate? What have you
    learned from this relationship?

3
Steps We Must Follow for Friendship
  • Explaining To Yourself
  • Explaining To Your Community of Origin
  • Explaining To Each Other

Whatever the boundary being crossed- race,
ethnicity, or any other social category-both
partners in a crossing friendship usually find
they have to do a lot of explaining- to
themselves, to each other, and to their
respective communities.
4
Explaining To Yourself
  • What is the meaning of my being friends with
    someone not like me?
  • When you have a friend of a different race, ask
    yourself whether youre sincerely fond of this
    person or using them as an entree into a group
    you want to belong to.
  • Study by Gordon Allport, the difference between
    groups, the group which you factually belong, and
    the reference group, which is the group to which
    you relate or aspire.
  • Example blacks who wish to partake of white
    skin privilege that they seek only white friends.

5
Explaining to Your Community of Origin
  • Accountability to ones own group can be the most
    difficult challenge to the maintenance of
    friendship.
  • Black and white friendships are conducted
    unground Some individuals report that it is
    easier to limit intimacy with other groups then
    fight the system.
  • Historically the biggest enemies of boundarys
    crossing friendships have been by majority whites
    due to exclusive clubs, schools and businesses

6
Explaining to Each Other
  • Ongoing mutual clarification is one of the
    healthiest characteristics of crossing
    friendships.
  • You discover which aspects of the other persons
    in-groupness you can share and what you cant.
    Be honest about your cultures sore points and
    ignore others ignorance.
  • Have you ever had to explain an exclusive
    cultural tradition?
  • -Clip From Boy In the Stripped Pajamas
  • http//www.youtube.com/watch?vmuJ0gVl5jDofeature
    PlayListp17CD45A2B2DD9AFBindex3

7
Same but Never Quite the Same
  • This occurs when people leave their safe inner
    circle and build friendships with others even
    though their life experiences might be different.
  • Example Pg 507 Relationship between Irish
    Catholic couple and Jewish friends over 1967
    Israeli Bombing.

8
Moving In One Anothers World
  • Certain differences remain barriers in
    friendships.
  • Language
  • Racism
  • Feminism
  • Friends can embrace differences and be enriched
    by them.

9
The Hazard of Crossing
  • Can cause temporary misunderstanding
  • Overly cautious of voicing an opinion to prevent
    interference with social climbing
  • Example Pg 511
  • The Black housekeeper of a White family was
    treated with limited respect and concern for her
    well being.

10
The Problem with Them is Us
  • Barriers exist because we dont know each other.
  • Example is homophobia
  • Our hang ups may prevent us from interacting with
    gay,elderly or disables individuals since we keep
    them different there maybe troubling or strange
    emotions during interactions. It is imperative to
    allow all people to be distinctive and equal.

11
Different Types of Friendships
  • Gay Straight Friendship
  • Disabled and Non-Disabled Friends
  • Cross Age Friends

To a large degree, our society still wants to
keep them out of sight-- gays and lesbians for
flaunting their alternative lifestyles, the
disabled for not not getting better, and the
old for reminding us of our eventual fate.
12
Gay and Straight Friendship
  • Homosexual society is a culture unto itself.
  • Forming relationships across gay-straight
    boundaries can be challenging due to the need of
    explanations.
  • Gay men and lesbians must function in a straight
    world during most of their life.

13
Disabled and Non-Disabled
  • Form an invisible subculture
  • 36,000,000 Americans have some type of disability
  • Wheel chair-bound, deaf,blind,speaking and
    thinking.
  • We need friends who wont treat us as weirdo
    asexual second-class children or expect us to be
    Supercrips- miracle cripples who work like
    crazy to make themselves whole again We want to
    be accepted the way we are

14
Cross-age Friendship
  • Age segregation keeps us apart
  • Miscommunications between young and old
  • Same age individuals have common history and
    culture
  • Study by Claude Fischer reveled that elderly
    people prefer friends of their own age
  • People of diverse ages can enjoy friendships are
    same and different

15
Race Friendship
  • What boundaries are expectable to cross.
  • Comfort level with slang (could be considered
    racist) Pg. 50
  • Friendship is usually conducted Underground
  • Other friend might not be
  • comfortable
  • Obama Racism Speech Clip

16
Probes
  • Which of the three kinds of explaining has been
    most difficult for you?
  • Why was gay-straight relationship discussed in
    this essay?
  • What are you thoughts about relationships with
    disabled people?
  • Have you encounter problems in relationships with
    older persons?

17
Reading Analysis
  • Thought provoking
  • Reflected upon my own friendships
  • Included relevant studies on stereotypes
  • Noticeable exclusions religion and class
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