Leads snag a reader's eye, and entice, intrigue and hook them into reading

1
Writing an Effective Lead

• Leads snag a reader's eye, and entice, intrigue
  and hook them into reading

2
The smooth white surface of a cigarette. As you
light it you slowly relax. You feel the day is
over. How can you resist? I can. Just think
about all those people you are hurting, the
innocent people trying to live a normal life.
Then you walk by with a cigarette in your mouth.
People stare at you in disgust. You try to
ignore it, but all the faces are looking,
watching, waiting. You sit by the subway
entrance in a huge crowd. The smoke slowly
drifts into the smoggy air. You hear coughing,
sniffling, whispering. They cover up their noses
to get away from the scent.
Annotations Grabs readers attention. Implies
an organizational structure. Includes multiple
strategies (scenario, taking a stand, contrasting
situation). Adequate choice of support Thesis/posi
tion stated
3
High School Expository Pre-Lesson ExampleUsing
the Introduction Scoring Guide, score the
introduction.

• Student A
• My talent is playing baseball. The way I
  developed this skill is practicing pretty much my
  whole life. Baseball has taught me that you
  cannot get frustrated when youre having trouble
  hitting or fielding a ground ball. Baseball is a
  very humbling game.

• Annotations
• Little attempt to get readers attention
• Implies a vague structure
• Contains some announcements that seem to be a
  disconnected list
• Support not clearly connected to thesis
• Vague thesis

4
High School Expository Post-Lesson ExampleUsing
the Introduction Scoring Guide, score the
introduction.

• Student A
• It was the bottom of the 6th inning and we were
  down by one run. It was our rival team and the
  biggest game of the year. There were men on first
  and second and I was up to bat. The catcher put
  the ball on the tee, then I swung as hard as I
  could and the ball went flying and the two men on
  base came home. I knew then, that I loved the
  game of baseball.

• Annotations
• Adequately engages the reader
• Implies a reason by reason structure (why I love
  baseball)
• Includes an anecdote and draws a conclusion
• Appropriate support for the thesis.
• Thesis present (I love baseball).

5
Pre/Post Persuasive Conclusion Example

• Post
• If school ended two hours later, Phil would fall
  asleep in first period after staying out past
  midnight the night before. The schools must
  realize that the answer of changing school times
  is a no-brainer leave school times the way they
  have been for years. The school should go along
  with the old saying, Early to bed, and early to
  rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.

• Pre
• Starting and ending school two hours later is an
  exceedingly bad idea. When all of the pros and
  cons are found, the cons effortlessly outnumber
  every pro. I agree with sleeping longer, but I
  would rather be released from school earlier. I
  believe that the verdict over school times is a
  no-brainer Leave school times the way that they
  are and have been for years.

6
High School Pre/Post Expository Introduction
Example

• Pre
• Ever since I was a young child, I have dreamed of
  having super hero powers. Three of those powers
  are the power to be invisible, the power to fly,
  and the power to have super human speed. These
  powers would be great because I could do secret
  missions for the government, I could save people
  in tough spots, and I could get out of tough
  spots myself.

• Post
• "98, 99, 100... ready or not, here I come!"
  shouts my little sister Jackie. She looks
  everywhere and finds everybody, except for me.
  Nobody can find me because I am invisible.
  Invisibility is one of a few super hero powers I
  have always wished to have.

7
High School Expository Post-Lesson ExampleUsing
the Introduction Scoring Guide, score the
introduction.

• Student A
• It was the bottom of the 6th inning and we were
  down by one run. It was our rival team and the
  biggest game of the year. There were men on first
  and second and I was up to bat. The catcher put
  the ball on the tee, then I swung as hard as I
  could and the ball went flying and the two men on
  base came home. I knew then, that I loved the
  game of baseball.

• Annotations
• Adequately engages the reader
• Implies a reason by reason structure (why I love
  baseball)
• Includes an anecdote and draws a conclusion
• Appropriate support for the thesis.
• Thesis present (I love baseball).

8
An Introduction Serves Two Purposes

• It gives readers an idea of what the rest of the
  writing will say.
• It provides a reason for readers to keep reading.

9
Anecdote Lead

• Yesterday morning I watched as my older sister
  left for school with a bright white glob of
  toothpaste gleaming on her chin. I felt no regret
  at all until she stepped onto the bus

10
SHORT, CATCHY SENTENCE

• "Crowds! I hate them!"...
• ""Flick! Flick! Flick! The police car's flashing
  blue light told its own story."

11
COMPARE OR CONTRAST

• Personal narrative example
• When I was seven, I thought my father was
  all-powerful and could do no wrong. When I was
  seventeen, I thought he was a jerk.
• CONCLUSION
• My father wasnt the god he seemed when I was
  seven, but he was sure a lot better and wiser
  than I
• thought he was when I was seventeen.

12
PUNCH lead

• The Punch lead consists of a blunt, explosive
  statement designed to surprise or jolt the
  reader.
• The best friend was dead.

13
CHALLENGE Lead

• A challenge raises reader expectations and
  creates tension. A challenging opening statement
  is effective for a thesis that calls for changes
  to be made in public policies or personal
  actions, such as in persuasive essays and
  argument or analysis papers
• Chances are, if you live outside city limits in
  any of California's twenty-one rural counties,
  you couldn't use public transportation if you
  wanted to. There isn't any.

14
BACKGROUND lead

• This is the same as the Picture lead except it
  draws a vivid word picture of the news setting,
  surroundings or circumstances.High seas, strong
  winds and heavy overcast provided the setting for
  a dramatic mission of mercy in the North Atlantic
  on the first day of the year.

15
Character performing an action

• It is nearly 10 p.m., and the toll taker at the
  Triborough Bridges Manhatten Plaza is near the
  end of her shift. Her routine is methodological,
  icily efficient. She glances out the window to
  see the kind and size of vehicle approaching.
• Source Sol Steins Stein on Writing

16
CONTRAST lead

• - The contrast lead draws contrast between two
  opposite extremes - tragedy with comedy, past
  with present, age with youth, beauty with
  ugly.Less than 3 years ago, two college friends
  decided to build a website to exchange their
  favorite videos. Today Your Tube is owned by
  Google and gets over 25 million unique visitors
  to the site each month.

17
PICTURE Lead

• PICTURE lead - The picture lead draws a vivid
  word picture of the person or in the story. The
  idea is to have the reader see the thing as the
  writer saw it.Standing tall and straight, easy
  to smile, unfurrowed brow under glistening eyes,
  Mary told of her dramatic attitude change, having
  seen her business results turn around after
  bringing in a consultant.

18
QUOTATION lead

• - This lead features a short, eye-catching quote
  or remark, usually set in quotation marks. Use
  this only if the quotation is so important or
  remarkable it overshadows the other facts of the
  story."You really don't know what freedom is
  until you have had to escape from terrorist
  captivity", says Tom Dennon, an Air Force pilot
  stationed in Iraq.

19
Make the reader curious.

• Make them wonder who, what, when, why, where, and
  how. You dont have to ask a question, but you
  can hook readers by forcing them to read beyond
  the first sentences. Make them desperate to keep
  reading. Here is an example
• Oh no, not another shoe, Sharon Bennett
  remembers telling her husband, Michael.
  (Macleans, Mystery Afoot, July 7, 2008). This
  article is about severed feet that keep getting
  washed up on the shores of British Columbia. If
  its normal for feet to wash up, shouldnt it
  happen all the time?

20
A sense of mystery.

• Water doesnt trickle down from the right basin
  of Jeanette Davis sink it pours.
• (Alana Casanova-Burgess)
• What do you notice about this lead? It is a
  simple subject-verb sentence, using active verbs.
  Most importantly, it creates a whiff of mystery,
  and makes us want to read on.

21
Examples of POOR Leads

• TOPIC baseball"In this paper I am going to tell
  you about baseball.
• Do not announce your intentions
• In this paper I will . . . The purpose of
  this essay is to . . .

22

• Water doesnt trickle down from the right basin
  of Jeanette Davis sink it pours.
• (Alana Casanova-Burgess)
• What do you notice about this lead? It is a
  simple subject-verb sentence, using active verbs.
  Most importantly, it creates a whiff of mystery,
  and makes us want to read on.

23
Lets Practice

• Work in groups of two or three.
• Your group will be given a poorly written lead.
• Your assignment is to write a better lead
  together.
• You will be asked to present your revised lead
  to the class.
• APPLICATION look at writing in your writing
  folder and revise some of your own leads to
  improve them.

24
A note about examples

• The most powerful examples you can use for
  instruction and modeling in your classroom are
  examples collected from your students.
• Although we have provided several examples, we
  encourage you to find your own.