Practicing Abstinence From Sex

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Practicing Abstinence From Sex

• Lesson 16

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• By Sharon Jayson, USA TODAY
• The federal government's "no sex without
  marriage" message isn't just for kids anymore.
• Now the government is targeting unmarried adults
  up to age 29 as part of its abstinence-only
  programs, which include millions of dollars in
  federal money that will be available to the
  states under revised federal grant guidelines for
  2007.
• The government says the change is a
  clarification. But critics say it's a clear
  signal of a more directed policy targeting the
  sexual behavior of adults.
• "They've stepped over the line of common sense,"
  said James Wagoner, president of Advocates for
  Youth, a Washington, D.C.-based non-profit that
  supports sex education. "To be preaching
  abstinence when 90 of people are having sex is
  in essence to lose touch with reality. It's an
  ideological campaign. It has nothing to do with
  public health."
• Abstinence education programs, which have focused
  on preteens and teens, teach that abstaining from
  sex is the only effective or acceptable method to
  prevent pregnancy or disease. They give no
  instruction on birth control or safe sex.
• The National Center for Health Statistics says
  well over 90 of adults ages 20-29 have had
  sexual intercourse.
• But Wade Horn, assistant secretary for children
  and families at the Department of Health and
  Human Services, said the revision is aimed at 19-
  to 29-year-olds because more unmarried women in
  that age group are having children.
• Government data released last month show that
  998,262 births in 2004 were to unmarried women
  19-29, the ages with the most births to unmarried
  women.
• "The message is 'It's better to wait until you're
  married to bear or father children,' " Horn said.
  "The only 100 effective way of getting there is
  abstinence."
• The revised guidelines specify that states
  seeking grants are "to identify groups ... most
  likely to bear children out-of-wedlock, targeting
  adolescents and/or adults within the 12- through
  29-year-old age range." Previous guidelines
  didn't mention targeting of an age group.
• "We wanted to remind states they could use these
  funds not only to target adolescents," Horn said.
  "It's a reminder."
• Last year, 46 states applied for the federal
  abstinence-education money, to fund programs in
  schools, neighborhood clubs and faith-based
  organizations.
• Sarah Brown, director of the National Campaign to
  Prevent Teen Pregnancy, says abstinence programs
  are among many messages that have helped reduce
  teen pregnancy rates. But "the notion that the
  federal government is supporting millions of
  dollars worth of messages to people who are grown
  adults about how to conduct their sex life is a
  very divisive policy," she says.
• "We would oppose any program that stigmatizes
  unmarried people," adds Nicky Grist, executive
  director of the Alternatives to Marriage Project,
  a non-profit organization based in Brooklyn,
  N.Y., that advocates for the rights of unmarried
  people.
• For last year's state grants, Congress
  appropriated 50 million. A similar amount is
  expected for 2007, but the money has not yet been
  allocated, according to the Administration for
  Children and Families.
• "I think the program should talk about the
  problem with out-of- wedlock childbearing not
  about your sex life," Brown says. "If you use
  contraception effectively and consistently, you
  will not be in the pool of out-of-wedlock births."

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Before We Start

• Copy down everything bolded and underlined. It
  will also be in a different color than the rest
  of the text. ?

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Practicing Abstinence

• Follows laws
• Shows respect for self and others
• Follows the guidelines of your parents and/or
  guardian
• Demonstrates good character

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NO Sex and the Laws

• Legal age of consent- the age when a state
  considers a person legally able to give
  permission for sexual contact.
• In many states, having sex with a person who has
  not reached the legal age of consent is
  considered corruption of a minors.
• In other states, it is called statutory rape.

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NO Sex and Respect

• You maintain a good reputation by practicing
  abstinence.
• Reputation- a persons overall character as
  judged by other people.
• Having a good reputation improves relationships
  between peers.
• Your peers will know that you do not cave in to
  peer pressure and choose wrong actions.

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NO Sex and Parents

• You avoid having conflicts with parents/guardians
  because you are doing what they tell you.
• Parents know the serious consequences that can
  occur from being sexually active.
• Parents want what's best for there children.

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NO Sex and Good Character

• Character- a persons use of self-control to act
  on responsible values
• You promote dignity, respect, responsibility and
  sexual fidelity within marriage
• Sexual fidelity- in marriage is a sexual
  faithfulness, and involves a promise to have sex
  only with ones marriage.

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Approval

• With Approval From Your Parents or Guardian
• Have a frank discussion with the person with whom
  you sexually involved
• With approval of your parents or guardian and if
  you are still dating
• Get reassurance from this person that he or she
  will practice abstinence from sex

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• Break off a relationship with a person
• Break off a relationship with a person who will
  not agree to practice abstinence from sex
• Reevaluate
• Reevaluate the influence of the group of friends
  with whom you associate
• Be honest and direct
• Be honest and direct about your commitment to
  practice abstinence from sex in new relationships

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How to say No

• Recognize lines peers might use to pressure you
• A line is a short statement that has a hook to
  it. This is intended to hook you and reel you
  into doing something you dont want to do.
• 10 Lines peers may use
• 1. If you love me, youll have sex with me.
• 2. You cant get pregnant the first time.
• 3. Im safe. You wont get HIV or STDs.
• 4. Everybody else is doing it.
• 5. Ill always love you.
• 6. Grow up, were in High School/
• 7. You got me all excited.
• 8. If you dont do it, Ill find someone
  else who will.
• 9. You know you really want to- I can tell.
• 10. I think you owe it to me.

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Using Resistance Skills

• Resistance skills are skills that help a person
  to say no to an action or leave a situation.
  Self confidence is key in using resistance
  skills. All of the resistance skills that follow
  on the next slide take self confidence. Remember,
  it isnt always easy to say no to something
  your friends want you to do. But, you must
  believe in yourself and trust that you made the
  right decision, and have confidence in that
  decision. Having confidence will help you avoid
  situations where you might be pressured to have
  sex, and will help you to use non verbal behavior
  to support your choice. It can also influence
  your friends to practice abstinence.

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How to Use Resistance Skills

1. Be confident and say, No, I do not want to be
   sexually active. Look directly at the person
   you are speaking to. State your limits clearly.
2. Give reasons why you practice abstinence. Use
   the 6 guidelines identified in the Responsible
   Decision Making Model to develop your reasons.
   (Reasons include promoting health, following
   laws, respect, and following parent or guardian
   guidelines)

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• 3. Using non verbal behavior to support your
  message that you do not want to be sexually
  active.
• Do not behave in ways that go beyond what youve
  stated are your limits for affection. Strengthen
  your statements by always following what you have
  said.
• 4. Avoid being in situations in which you may be
  pressured to be sexually active.
• Do not spend time in situations in which you
  might be vulnerable, such as being in someones
  bedroom. Do not go to parties where teens will be
  drinking alcohol or using other drugs. Avoid
  watching movies and television shows that imply
  teen sex is okay.

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• 5. Avoid being with anyone who pressures you to
  be sexually active.
• Expect someone whom you are dating to respect
  your limits and do not date this person if she or
  he pressures you to have sex. Pay attention to
  what your parents say when they advise against
  being certain teens or adults. Know the laws
  regarding sex that protect you and follow them.
  Tell a parent, guardian, or other trusted adult
  if an adult makes sexual advances toward you.

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• 6. Repeat several times your reasons for
  practicing abstinence from sex.
• For example you might say No, I do not want to
  be sexually active. If you continue to get
  pressure, repeat this response several times.
• 7. Influence your friends to practice abstinence
  from sex.
• Be confident and share friends your decision to
  practice abstinence from sex. Encourage a friend
  who is sexually active to change his or her
  behavior. They will respect your strength and
  self-confidence.

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Did you know??

• RAPE- About two in ten females who first had sex
  before age 15 describes it as involuntary. This
  means they were forced. Rape, whether a minor or
  someone of legal age, is a criminal action with
  very serious consequences.

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Steps Teens Can Take to Change Their Behavior if
They Have Been Sexually Active.

• Make a list of your reasons for choosing
  abstinence from sex.
• Talk to a trusted adult about your behavior and
  your behavior and your decision to practice
  abstinence.
• Consider the health consequences that may have
  occurred from being sexually active.
• Adhere to guidelines for expressing physical
  affection.

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Changing Behavior

• Teens who have been sexually active can take
  steps to change their behavior.
• Changing behavior helps teens acknowledge that
  their health is important.
• They give up the risk behaviors that might cause
  them to become infected with sexually transmitted
  diseases, including HIV, or to become pregnant.

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QUIZ!!!!!
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Quiz

• 1.What is Character?
• a. a persons use of self-control to act on
  responsible values
• b. a persons use of self-esteem to act on
  responsible values
• c. a persons use of sex to act on responsible
  values

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Quiz (continued)

• 2. Who should you get reassurance from?
• a. Parents
• b. Peers
• c. Anonymous people
• d. Liars

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Quiz (continued)

• 3. What should you always reevaluate?
• a. The influence of the group of friends with
  whom you associate
• b. Tests you take
• c. Your day
• d. People who talk about you right behind your
  back

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Quiz (continued)

• 4. What is the definition of a line?
• a. continuous extent of length, straight or
  curved, without breadth or thickness the trace
  of a moving point.
• b. a verse of poetry
• c. a short statement that has a hook to it,
  intended to reel you in
• d. a number of persons standing one behind the
  other and waiting their turns at or for something

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Quiz (continued)

• 5. What are skills a person uses to say no?
• a. Self Confidence
• b. Resistance Skills
• c. A Line
• d. Responsible Decision Making Skills

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Quiz (continued)

• 6. Which of the following are reasons to practice
  abstinence?
• a. Following Laws
• b. Because someone tells you to
• c. Respect
• d. Both A and C

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Quiz (continued)

• 7.Which of the following skills are NOT
  recommended to use if you are sexually active?
• a. Avoid being with anyone who pressures you to
  be sexually active.
• b. Keep being sexually active and let it be known
  that its okay to be sexually active.
• c. Pay attention to what your parents say when
  they advise against being certain teens or
  adults.

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Quiz (continued)

• 8.Which of the following are the best ways to
  influence your friends to practice abstinence
  from sex?
• a. Tell them sex is okay if you dont do it all
  the time.
• b. Tell them that sex is not a bad thing and
  doesnt change who you are.
• c. Encourage your friend who is sexually active
  to change his or her behavior.
• d. None of the above

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Quiz (continued)

• 9. Which of the following is NOT a step to take
  for teens to change their behavior if they have
  been sexually active?
• a. Make a list of your reasons for choosing
  abstinence from sex.
• b. Consider the health consequences that may have
  occurred from being sexually active.
• c. Dont have sex all the time, just
  occasionally.
• d. All of the above

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Quiz (continued)

• 10. Which of the following are risks that could
  happen by being sexually active?
• a. Get infected with a sexually transmitted
  disease.
• b. Become pregnant or get someone pregnant.
• c. Becoming anti-social with your parents or
  guardian.
• d. All of the above.

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Answers Questions 1 through 3

• 1.What is Character?
• a persons use of self-control to act on
  responsible values
• 2. Who should you get reassurance from?
• Peers
• 3. What should you always reevaluate?
• a. The influence of the group of friends with
  whom you associate

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Answers Questions 4 through 6

• 4. What is the definition of a line?
• a. continuous extent of length, straight or
  curved, without breadth or thickness the trace
  of a moving point.
• b. a verse of poetry
• c. a short statement that has a hook to it,
  intended to reel you in
• d. a number of persons standing one behind the
  other and waiting their turns at or for something

• 5. What are skills a person uses to say no?
• a. Self Confidence
• b. Resistance Skills
• c. A Line
• d. Responsible Decision Making Skills

6. Which of the following are reasons to practice
abstinence? a. Following Laws b. Because someone
tells you to c. Respect d. Both A and C
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Answers Questions 7 through 10

• 7. Which of the following skills are not
  recommended to use if you are sexually active?
• B. Keep being sexually active and let it be known
  that its okay to be sexually active.
• 8. Which of the following are the best ways to
  influence your friends to practice abstinence
  from sex?
• C. Encourage your friend who is sexually active
  to change his or her behavior.
• 9. Which of the following is NOT a step to take
  for teens to change their behavior if they have
  been sexually active?
• C. Dont have sex all the time, just
  occasionally.
• 10. Which of the following are risks that could
  happen by being sexually active?
• D. All of the above.