Conversations

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Interpersonal
Conversations
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Conversations

• A locally managed sequential interchange of
  thoughts and feelings between two or more people.
  Interactive and extemporaneous.

Microsoft Photo
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Conversations (contd)

• Locally managed only those involved in the
  conversation determine the topic.
• Sequentially organized have openings, middles,
  and closes.
• Interactive Involve at least two people.
• Largely extemporaneous Participants have not
  prepared or memorized what they will be saying.

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Lets Have A Party!
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Casual Social Conversations
Pragmatic Problem- Consideration Conversations

• Spontaneous interactions between people, with no
  planned agenda

• Conversational episodes in which at least one
  participant has a communication goal

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Pragmatic Problem-Consideration Conversations

Skipping a stage may provide less satisfaction

1. Greeting and small talk
2. Topic introduction and statement of need for
   discussion
3. Information exchange and processing
4. Summarizing decisions and clarifying next
   steps
5. Formal closing

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Characteristics of Conversations

• Formality degree to which the conversation must
  follow rules, procedures or rituals.
• Turn-Taking alternating between speaker
  listener.
• Speaker can decide whos next
• Nonverbally signaling our desire to go next
• We can self-select to go next by talking next
• We can interrupt
• Topic Change method by which people introduce
  new topics
• Talk Time fair sharing of speaking time
• Scriptedness common conversations that happen
  so often they are routine, as if to follow a
  script (co-narration).
• Conversational Audience whos conversing
  eavesdropping.

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Rules
A prescription that indicates what behaviors are
required, preferred, or prohibited in certain
contexts
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Conversational Ballgamesby Nancy Masterson
Sakamoto

• Read Diverse Voices
• Pages 165-6

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Cultural Connotations
Individual
Low uncertainty Avoidance (Tolerant)

Low-context
United States
Masculine (rigid sex defined)
Low power-distance (downplay social distances)
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Cultural Variations

• United States
• Low Context Cultures
• Participatory everyone joins in
• Include categorical words such as certainly,
  absolutely
• Relevant comments that are directly to the point
• Speaking ones mind
• Silence is seldom good

• Japan
• High Context Cultures
• Ritualized, formal stuctured
• Include qualifiers such as maybe, perhaps
• Indirect, ambiguous and less relevant comments
• Creating harmony
• Silence indicates truthfulness, embarrassment,
  disagreement

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Examples of Communication Rules

• If your mouth is full of food, then you must not
  talk.
• If someone is talking, then you must not
  interrupt.
• If you cant say something nice, then you dont
  say anything at all.

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MoreCommunication Rules

• If you are spoken to, you must reply.
• If more than 2 people are conversing, then each
  should have equal time.
• If your conversational partner is significantly
  older than you, then you should refrain from
  using profanities obscenities.

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Even More Communication Rules

• If you are going to say something that you dont
  want overheard, then drop the volume of your
  voice.
• If you are being spoken to, you should direct
  your gaze to the speaker.
• Or, from a different cultural perspective, if you
  are being spoken to, you should look at the
  floor.
• And, if another does not hear a question you
  asked, then you must repeat it.

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Discuss what communication rules you think are
important.
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Cooperative Principle
Conversations will be satisfying when the
contributions made by conversationalists are in
line with the purpose of the conversation. We
dont like people who go off subject. . .
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Conversation Maxims
Quality Truthful information Quantity Not too much or too little Relevancy Related to the topic
Manner Specific, organized, and understandable Morality Meet moral/ethical guidelines Politeness Be courteous
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The Effective Conversationalist

1. Presents quality information.
2. Provides free information to enable others to
   talk.
3. Ask questions that are likely to motivate
   responses.
4. Credits sources.
5. Practices turn-taking.
6. Maintains conversational coherence.
7. Practices politeness.

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Politeness

• Politeness -- relating to others in ways that
  meet their need to be appreciated.
• Positive face needs desire to be appreciated and
  approved, liked and honored.

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Positive Facework

• Messages affirming a person or persons actions
  in the face of a difficult situation.
• Used to protect anothers need to save face, ie.
  need to be respected, liked, or valued.

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Positive Facework

• To perform
• Convey positive feelings about what the other has
  said or done in the situation.
• Express admiration for others efforts
• Acknowledge how difficult situation is
• Express belief others efforts will endure or
  succeed.

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Politeness

• Politeness -- relating to others in ways that
  meet their need to be appreciated.
• Positive face needs desire to be appreciated and
  approved, liked and honored.
• Negative face needs desire to be free from
  imposition, intrusion, or upstaging. Done in an
  unassuming - deferential manner.

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Negative Facework

• Using verbally indirect methods when offering
  information, opinions or advice.
• Used to protect anothers negative face needs,
  ie. need for independence, autonomy and authority.

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Negative Facework

• To perform
• Ask permission before making suggestions
• Verbally defer to opinions/preferences of the
  other person
• Use tentative language to hedge qualify your
  position
• Offer suggestions indirectly by telling stories
  or describing hypothetical options.

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Politeness

• Politeness -- relating to others in ways that
  meet their need to be appreciated.
• Positive face needs desire to be appreciated and
  approved, liked and honored.
• Negative face needs desire to be free from
  imposition or intrusion.
• Face-threatening acts (FTAs) behavior that
  fails to meet positive or negative face needs

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Engage in Ethical Dialogue

• Be
• Authenticity - direct, honest, straightforward
  information and feelings
• Empathy understanding anothers point of view
  (without giving up yours)
• Confirmation affirming others as unique
  individuals (does not imply approving of their
  behaviors)

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Engage in Ethical Dialogue (continued)

• Be
• Present taking time, avoiding distraction,
  being responsive, risking attachment
• Equality treating conversational partners on
  the same level regardless of status differences
• Supportive climate encourage participation by
  praising efforts

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Activity Work Groups

• Marisa, Danielle, Samantha, Chris
• Niki, Karina, Eric, Charity, Erika
• Briana, Cassidy, Josh Caryn Kami
• Jen, Michelyn, Elena, Nate

If there are absences, smaller groups will be
redistributed by instructor.
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Effective CommunicatorsBag of Tricks

• Is equipped with information on a wide range to
  topics.
• Is willing to offer extra information when
  questions are asked
• Asks questions.
• Balances speaking and listening.
• Uses conversational directors like Dont you
  agree? or What do you think? which draw the
  other person into the conversation.

1. Keeps interruptions at a minimum.
2. Makes sure that comments relate to previous
   comments by others.
3. Is polite.
4. Is ethical, authentic, empathetic, supportive,
   conforming, an active listener, and treats others
   as equals.

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