Editing for Academic Writing

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Editing for Academic Writing
Dr Michael Azariadis Graduate Research School
Seminar - May 2011
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We will cover

• Paragraph structure
• Sentence structure
• Parallelism
• Active passive voice
• Eliminating vagueness
• Sign-posting and the use of predictive
  statements
• Use of tense

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Pre-Writing
Drafting
Publishing
Responding
Editing
Revising
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Paragraphs
Paragraphs break up the information you want to
present to your reader, structuring it in such a
way that guides the reader through a series of
related ideas. They follow a general-to-specific
sequence

• Topic sentence
• Explanatory sentence or controlling idea
• Supporting sentences
• Transition sentence

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At the beginning of semester, college students
need to register for their classes. However, this
can be a frustrating experience for new students
who do not understand the current registration
system. For example the results of a national
youth survey aimed at understanding the
challenges in making the transition from high
school to college show that 65 of new students
have difficulty in navigating complex
registration procedures (Harris Jones 2006).
Data from our own research with administrative
staff at Newman College confirms these findings.
For instance the manager of student services
remarked that the procedures we currently have
in place to register students are confusing
because the course code dont resemble the course
title. Whilst it is clear that the practice of
using course codes is making registration
problematic for some students, is it the primary
reason for their difficulties?
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Topic sentence
Explanatory sentence or controlling idea
1. Supporting sentence 2. Supporting sentence 3. Supporting sentence
Summarising Transition sentence

Topic sentence
Explanatory sentence or controlling idea
1. Supporting sentence 2. Supporting sentence 3. Supporting sentence
Summarising Transition sentence
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Hint

• Read each paragraph carefully. In the margin
  alongside each one, write a brief note of the
  main point. When you have done this for the whole
  section, these notes should be a coherent summary
  of the whole story for that section. This is a
  good test for fluency.
• If you are not able to identify the main point
  of a paragraph, you may have two or more
  paragraphs mixed together. Separate them so that
  each paragraph contains only one main point.
  This means that all the sentences in that
  paragraph relate to that point.

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Sentences

1. The rule of thumb is to keep most sentences
   short12-24 words maximum.
2. Use simple sentences that have no more than two
   dependent clauses.
3. One sentence should convey one clear message. If
   you have two things to say, control yourself. Say
   one first and then the other.
4. use an economy of words write to express not to
   impress.

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The dog barked
The standard sentence consists of one main
clause (or one idea) consisting of a subject and
a predicate
The dog barked because it heard the rattle of
the postmans bicycle.
Standard sentence with dependent clause linked by
a coordinating conjunction (such as and but
nor for yet because)
On hearing the rattle of the bicycle,
the vicious dog barked before biting the postman
on the leg. Independent clause and two
dependent clauses linked by a comma and then a
coordinating conjunction (before)
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Try not to construct sentences with more than two
dependent clauses. Otherwise, the sentence
becomes too dense and it will be difficult for
the reader to absorb the volume of information
you are trying to communicate.

• Sentences to avoid
• Choppy sentences
• Stringy sentences
• Run-on sentences
• Sentence fragments

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Hint

• It is important to repeat, or be consistent in
  your use of, keywords and concepts.
• Use variety in the transition words, ie do not
  over-use the same ones, because it is irritating.
  (Thus, therefore, accordingly, consequently, so,
  it follows).
• Whilst you can (carefully) use pronouns for
  example it they and adjectives this these as
  long as the subject is 100 clear. Take care to
  (re)establish the subject at regular intervals.
• Avoid the use of cliché, undefined technical
  jargon, archaic and/or poetic words, sexist
  language, figures of speech.

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Parallelism

• Parallel sentences occur when each item in a list
  or comparison follows the same grammatical
  pattern
• For instance if you are writing a list and the
  first item in your list is a noun, write all the
  following items as nouns.
• If the first verb is an ing word, make all the
  others ing words.

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Examples

• Not parallel
• My English conversation class is made up of
  Chinese, Spaniards, and some are from Bosnia.
• My parents taught me such things as honesty,
  faith, to be fair and having patience.
• (Noun, noun, infinitive, participle)
• The children were laughing, squealing, and
  danced.

• Parallel
• My English conversation class is made up of
  Chinese, Spaniards, and Bosnians. (The items are
  now all nouns)
• My parents taught me such things as honesty,
  faith, fairness and patience. (The items are now
  all nouns)
• The children were laughing, squealing and
  dancing.

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Active Passive Voice
A sentence is passive when the target (or object)
of the verb appears in front of the verb, for
example The newspaper was read by
Chris OBJECT VERB AGENT A sentence is
active when the agent (or doer) of the action
appears in front of the verb, for example Chris
read the newspaper AGENT VERB TARGET
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Advantages of using active voice?

• It conveys a more natural order in which events
  take place
• It is more concise (overall you use fewer words)
  OR
• It allows for the use of powerful verbs
• It will inspire in the reader greater confidence
  in your work

OR
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Be concise

• Academic writing is expository writing writing
  that tries to explain something rather than
  entertain.
• Empty (redundant) words are everywhere in our
  writing part of the point of editing is to find
  and eliminate them.
• Do not qualify absolutes! Some examples very
  delicious, absolutely essential, No, I wont do
  it, critically important.
• Avoid distinctions without difference (two words
  that basically mean the same thing)
• They conducted research which was both
  insightful and penetrating.
• e. Avoid tautologies (the repetition of a
  meaning already expressed)
• It had a sweet, sugary taste.

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Be precise
Utility word vagueness

• Precision relates to the choice of words that
  best allows you to communicate your meaning to
  the reader.
• Avoid using utility words (words which do not
  convey to a reader one specific meaning,
  especially if the context does not clarify the
  full meaning). This includes words such as
  situation, factor, nature, peculiar.
• both countries share the experience of having
  had their indigenous populations almost entirely
  exterminated before the arrival of the French
  colonisers.
• Always state precise dates rather than
  currently, recently, in the last fifteen
  years or two decades ago.

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Sign posting (and satisfying readers
expectations)

1. Readers actively seek a basis for predicting what
   will come next.
2. Readers become confused and irritated when their
   predictions are not fulfilled.

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Using predictive statements
Predictive statements and organisers are
statements or words that help a reader to predict
the content and organisation of the information
that will follow. There are two kinds of
predictive statements
Explicit This paper will firstly present the
key features of the PhD programme, secondly
examine the value of a PhD degree, and finally
outline some strategies for students preparing to
start a PhD. Implicit There are four main
issues to consider when commencing a PhD
choosing a supervisor choosing a topic becoming
an independent researcher and preparing a PhD
thesis.
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Other ways to fulfill reader expectation

• Sub-headings
• Transition signals

Unifiers (words that signal continuity of the
topic) Furthermore, In addition, For example
Dividers (words that signal a change in the
discussion/topic) In contrast, On the other hand,
However
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Tense
In general, use either The present tense or
present perfect tense (these two tenses are
interchangeable Smith argues or Smith has
argued.. OR The past tense Smith argued
Whilst the selection of tense may be governed by
disciplinary practice, consistency in use remains
most important
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Guidelines
At all costs keep the tenses of sentence clauses
consistent. For example She laughed, and I
asked her what she new about him. She laughs
again, this time much louder. The above
demonstrates an illogical sequence of tenses,
past in the first sentence and present in the
second.
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Possible use of future tense

• In your introduction when you are stating the
  aims of your research.
• In literature review where you are outlining the
  narrative of your research.
• In your conclusion when you are making
  suggestions for possible future research.

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Marking up your work
Mark your draft with the following (or similar)
symbols to help in the process of editing (?)
Lack of clarity (is the sentence, paragraph,
argument clear?) (X) Material that can be deleted
(is material redundant?) Repetitive (have I
already established this point?) (E) Evidence
required (have I adequately substantiated this
point?) _at_ Check accuracy of this point (am I sure
about what I am saying?) (i) Interpretive/analytic
al weakness (have I considered any possible
objections to my assertions?)