Bullying

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Bullying

• Rob Fowler, Detective
• Ada County Sheriffs Office
• School Resource Officer
• Eagle High School

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Course Objectives

• Gain better understanding of what bullying is and
  what drives it.
• Learn to identify address bullying
• Identify common traits of bullies
• Identify common traits of victims
• Develop personal strategies to address bullying
  within your sphere of influence

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Course Objectives (continued)

• Learn positive ways to deal with bullies
• Learn supportive ways to deal with bullying
  victims
• Learn positive ways to deal with parents
• Victim
• Bully

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Course Objectives (continued)

• Learn what the four Ps are and how to use
  them
• Prepare
• Plan
• Practice
• Proficiency

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Whats going on in our Community?

• Significant growth in Idaho
• 4th fastest growing state in nation
• Population boom
• Children have less quality time with adult role
  models as financial need requires longer work
  commitments
• Larger population brings larger crime statistics
• Juvenile crime is on the increase

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Whats going on in our schools?

• Schools cannot be built fast enough to
  accommodate the large number of students moving
  into the area
• New populations of juveniles bring different
  social and cultural values with them
• New populations of juveniles have a need to fit
  in

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Whats going on in our schools?

• Violence is a reality in our nation
• 1998 35 students killed in school violence
• 2004/2005 school year
• 28 students killed
• 250,000 injured
• Fear of violence is up
• Fear of gangs is up
• Emulation of gang style is back on the rise

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Whats going on in our schools?

• How many children have died from fires in schools
  in the last 25 years?
• Why?
• Why arent we doing the same prevention for gangs
  and violence in our schools?
• Because we dont want to be labeled as paranoid.

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What about Violence Prevention?

• Standardized codes to prevent violence in schools
• Through architectural design
• Example The strategic use of windows that look
  out on the school entrance so that students can
  see into the school and know that others can see
  them.
• Surveillance technology
• GPS tracking of School Busses
• minimizing opportunities for out-of-sight
  activities
• Including School busses
• Access control
• managing access to all school areas

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Our Culture of Violence
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MEDIA VIOLENCE EXPOSURE AND CONTENT

• American children and youths spend, on average,
  more than 4 hours a day with television,
  computers, videotaped movies, and video games
  (Roberts et al., 1999 Woodard, 2000).
• -Surgeon Generals report on youth violence

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Indiana University Brain Scan Research
Adolescents Brain with Low Video Media Exposure
is the left image and Adolescents Brain with
High Video Media Exposure is the image on the
right.
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Indiana University Brain Scan Research

• Media Violence stunts or retards kids brain
  development Children with violent TV, movie and
  video game exposure had reduced cognitive brain
  function.
• Media violence makes violent brains, Violent TV,
  movies and video game exposure had an affect on
  normal kids that made their brain scans the same
  as children with diagnosed Aggressive Behavior
  Disorder.

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Indiana University Brain Scan Research

• For more information on this study visit
• www.sosparents.org

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• "I don't know why it's a shock to us that these
  kids would try to find a way to turn violence
  into entertainment. It's all around them.
• Dr. Ken Druck, Psychologist

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Music and Violence

• Make no mistake about it, music can summon a
  range of emotions, most of which are wonderful.
  Yet there is some music that communicates
  potentially harmful health messages, especially
  when it reaches a vulnerable audience.

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Music and Violence

• For example, Nine Inch Nails released Big Man
  with a Gun, with the following lyrics I am a
  big man (yes I am) and I have a big gun got me a
  big old dick and I like to have fun held against
  your forehead, Ill make you suck it, maybe Ill
  put a hole in your head you know, just for the
  fuck of it...Im every inch a man, and Ill show
  you somehow me and my f--king gun nothing can
  stop me now shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot...

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Music and Violence

• Marilyn Manson has quite the way with a lyric
  Who said date rape isnt kind, The housewife I
  will beat and I slit my teenage wrist are just
  a sample from two songs.
• Frank Palumbo, M.D., FAAP, American Academy of
  Pediatrics

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Music and Violence

• We believe something can and should be done. Poll
  after poll laments the belief that our country,
  including its youth, is losing its moral center.
  Responsibility, respect and discipline are
  thought to be a thing of the past. Crime and
  violence have escalated to the point where it is
  a public health problem. Although there is no one
  solution, awareness of, and sensitivity to, the
  potential impact of music lyrics and videos by
  consumers, the media and the music industry is
  one important piece of the puzzle. It is in the
  childrens best interest to listen to lyrics or
  to watch videos that are not violent, sexist,
  drug-oriented, or antisocial.
• Frank Palumbo, M.D., FAAP, American Academy of
  Pediatrics

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What is our kids music telling us?

• When this began I had nothing to say And I'd
  get lost in the nothingness inside of me I was
  confused And I'd let it all out to find That
  I'm not the only person with these things in mind
  Inside of me When all the vacancy the words
  revealed Is the only real thing that I've got
  left to feel Nothing to lose Just stuck, hollow
  and alone And the fault is my own and the fault
  is my own I wanna heal I wanna feel What I
  thought was never real I want to let go of the
  pain I felt so long Erase all the pain till its
  gone I wanna heal I wanna feel Like Im close
  to something real I want to find something I've
  wanted all along Somewhere I belong

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Snoop Dogg Lyrics

• Every time I come around they like "Oh No"I get
  to trippin slap the clip up in my 44Shit I been
  thru in my hood made my heart coldI get to
  poppin off that thang like I'm locoNo sense in
  coppin pleas when you see my knife out (knife
  out)Motherfuckers light out (lights out)Here
  comes Snoop, uh (oh shit) (Oh No)Sup Nigga, sup
  now, huh? (Oh No)SnoopRicky Ticky Timble,
  C's is the symbolCourdoroy khakis, stacies
  brimmed upStraight razors just to keep you
  trimmed up1-8-7, oh yeah, now you rememberHe's
  electrifyin originalSo gangster, Snoop Dogg
  the criminalThe one you hate to love, in the
  club, in the cutHugged up wit yo bitch, nigga I
  don't give a shitYou betta check dat ho, that's
  what wreckin GNow step your game down, cause
  ain't no checkin meYou'll be respectin me until
  you leave this roomOr my gat'll go boom, bullets
  go zoomNow your names on a tombThey pourin out
  liquor wit no room to consume, you silly
  buffoonI pop niggas like balloons, I ain't
  feeling emWalkin in my big blue chucks cause I'm
  killin em

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Superchick HERO

• No one sits with him, he doesn't fit inBut we
  feel like we do when we make fun of himCause you
  want to belong do you go along?Cause his pain is
  the price paid for you to belongIt's not like
  you hate him or want him to dieBut maybe he goes
  home and thinks suicide Or he comes back to
  school with a gun at his sideAny kindness from
  you might have saved his lifeHeroes are made
  when you make a choiceYou could be a
  heroHeroes do what's rightYou could be a
  heroYou might save a lifeYou could be a hero,
  You could join the fightFor what's right for
  what's right for what's rightNo one talks to
  her, she feels so aloneShe's in too much pain to
  survive on her ownThe hurt she can't handle
  overflows to a knifeShe writes on her arm, wants
  to give up her lifeEach day she goes on is a day
  that she's brave,Fighting the lie that giving up
  is the way,Each moment of courage her own life
  she savesWhen she throws the pills out a hero is
  made

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What Can I Do?

• Accept the fact that violence is a real problem
  in our community
• Accept the fact that violence affects everyone
  regardless of sex, race or financial status
• Accept the fact that it could happen to you, your
  children or your students

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What Can I Do?

• Prepare yourself now for the possibility that
  your child may be lured into the world of
  violence
• Remove the following phrases from your vocabulary
• Not my child
• Not him / her
• Its just a phase
• He / She just likes that _______
• (music, clothing, video game, etc.)

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What Can I Do?

• What does that mean to me?
• It means you cant engage in consuming movies,
  music, video games, clothing, etc. that promotes
  or glorifies gang life styles and / or violence.
• This means you cant buy these things for them
  either!

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What Can I Do?

• Understand that because you can filter between
  reality and fantasy, that does not mean your
  child can, particularly if they have high media
  exposure to violence.
• Because we can filter, we can self regulate what
  we watch and participate in. CHILDREN CANT !

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• When parenting decreases, the need for policing
  increases
• - Stephen Covey

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Tears on the Highway DVD
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Bullying
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Statistics

• According to the National Association of School
  Psychologists, about 160,000 children in the
  United States miss school every day for fear of
  being bullied.

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Statistics

• In Canada, Toronto's Board of Education has
  documented that in Grades 4 to 8, one child in
  five is victimized periodically, while one in 12
  is bullied weekly or daily. Many people, not in
  the industry, are unaware that bullying often
  begins on the bus ride to and from school.
  Experts say that school buses generate a great
  opportunity for bullies.

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Statistics
ACCORDING TO THE BUREAU OF JUSTICE STATISTICS -
School Crime and Safety Teenagers say revenge
is the strongest motivation for school shootings
87 said shootings are motivated by a desire
to "get back at those who have hurt them." 86
said, "other kids picking on them, making fun of
them or bullying them" causes teenagers to turn
to lethal violence in the schools.
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Statistics

• RECENT STATISTICS SHOW THAT
• 1 out of 4 kids is Bullied. 
• The American Justice Department says that this
  month 1 out of every 4 kids will be abused by
  another youth.
• Surveys Show That  77  of students are bullied
  mentally, verbally, physically.

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Statistics

• 43 fear harassment in the bathroom at school.
• 100,000 students carry a gun to school.
• 28 of youths who carry weapons have witnessed
  violence at home.
• A poll of teens ages 12-17 proved that they think
  violence increased at their schools.

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Statistics

• Playground statistics - Every 7 minutes a child
  is bullied.
• Adult intervention - 4.
• Peer intervention - 11.
• No intervention - 85.

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Statistics

• Both bullies and those on the receiving end of
  bullying were more likely to have difficulty
  adjusting to their environment both socially and
  psychologically.
• Students who were bullied reported having greater
  difficulty making friends and poorer
  relationships with their classmates. They were
  also much more likely than other students to
  report feelings of loneliness.
• "It's likely that kids who are socially isolated
  and have trouble making friends are more likely
  to be targets of bullying," Dr. Nansel said. "In
  turn, other kids may avoid children who are
  bullied, for fear of being bullied themselves."

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So What is Bullying?
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Bullying

• Researchers generally accept that bullying
  contains three essential elements
• 1. The behavior is aggressive and negative.
• 2. The bully carries out the behavior repeatedly.
  
• 3. The behavior occurs in a relationship where
  there is an imbalance of power between the
  parties involved.

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What is Cyber Bullying?

• In short, cyber bullying is "willful and repeated
  harm inflicted through the medium of electronic
  text.
• Cyber bullies are malicious aggressors who seek
  implicit or explicit pleasure or profit through
  the mistreatment of another individual.

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Why do kids often behave inappropriately online?

• Because technology often provides
• 1) a perceived buffer from regular consequences
  and
• 2) a real buffer from traditional social cues,
  people will say and do things through technology
  that they would not do face-to-face. (The
  scientific term for this is "dis-inhibition.") If
  this is apparent with email, instant messaging,
  and text messaging on cell phones, it seems even
  more glaring on social networking sites.

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What is a Bully

• A bully is an individual who torments others
  through verbal harassment, physical assault, or
  other more subtle methods of coercion.
• The behavior engaged in by bullies bullying. In
  colloquial speech, "bullying" most often
  describes a form of harassment perpetrated by
  someone who is in some way more powerful,
  physically or socially, than a weaker peer.

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Types of Bullying Types of Bullying
Verbal Sarcasm, persistent teasing, spreading rumors, name calling, harassment
Physical Pushing, kicking, hitting, pinching, any form of violence and intimidation
Emotional Humiliation, tormenting, threatening ridicule, exclusion from groups and activities
Racist Taunts, jokes, gestures, graffiti
Sexual Comments, physical contact, gestures, threats
Other Theft, vandalism
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Did You Know?

• By age 24, 60 of identified bullies have a
  criminal conviction.
• Children, repeatedly victimized, sometimes see
  suicide as their only escape.
• Bullying is one of the most underrated and
  enduring problems in schools today.
• Schools are a prime location for bullying.
• Bullies lose their popularity as they get older
  and eventually the majority of students come to
  dislike them.

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Did You Know?

• Many adults do not know how to intervene in
  bullying situations therefore, they often
  overlook bullying.
• On average, bullying episodes are brief,
  approximately 37 seconds long.
• The emotional scars from bullying can last a
  lifetime.

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Did You Know?

• Bullying is broken into two categories 1.
  Direct bullying.2. Indirect bullying (also known
  as social aggression).

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Did You Know?

• Direct bullying is the form most common to male
  bullies.Social aggression, or indirect
  bullying, is most common to female bullies and
  young children and characterized by forcing the
  victim into social isolation. Bullies achieve
  this isolation of their victims through a wide
  variety of techniques, which include
• Spreading gossip.
• Refusing to socialize with the victims.

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Did You Know?

• Bullying other people who wish to socialize with
  the victims.
• Criticizing the victim's manner of dress and
  other socially significant markers (including the
  victim's race, religion, disability, etc).
• Bullying can occur in situations including school
  or college/university, workplace, contact with
  neighbors, and between countries (see Jingoism).
  Whatever the situation, the power structure is
  typically evident between bully and victim. To
  those outside the conflict, it seems that the
  bully's power depends only upon the perception of
  the victim, with the victim being too intimidated
  to put up effective resistance. However, the
  victim usually has just cause to be afraid of the
  bully due to threats.

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Examples

• Text messaging mean or harassing things about
  someone.
• Posting mean or harassing things about someone
  online, including videos.
• Crank calling someone or calling someone and
  hanging up on them
• Posting, texting or calling someone claiming to
  be someone else as a joke.

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Violence Continuum

• Eye rolling
• Starting Rumors
• Gesturing
• Writing graffiti
• Threatening
• Name Calling
• Taunting / Name Calling
• Stealing

• Damaging Property
• Intimidation
• Shoving / Punching / Spitting
• Hitting / Kicking
• Flashing a weapon
• Stabbing someone
• Shooting someone

Source Kamaron Institute 2006
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Reasons

• Reasons why some people bully
• people think it will make them popular or cool
• people think it makes them look tough
• people want to be in charge
• people want attention
• people want people to be afraid of them
• people are jealous of the person they are
  bullying
• people are being bullied themselves
• people don't understand that it is wrong

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Reasons

• Reasons why some young people are bullied
• some people are bullied for no reason whatsoever
• because they are different in some way, their
  skin color, their size, their name, their nature,
  their intelligence
• because they look like they cannot stand up for
  themselves

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Common Characteristics of Children Who Bully

• Impulsive, hot-headed, dominant
• Easily frustrated
• Lack empathy
• Have difficulty following rules and
• View violence in a positive way.
• Boys who bully tend to be physically stronger
  than other children.

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Family Risk Factors for Bullying

• A lack of warmth and involvement on the part of
  parents
• Overly permissive parenting (including a lack of
  limits for children's behavior)
• A lack of supervision by parents
• Harsh, physical discipline and
• Bullying incidences at home.

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Why Students Do Not Intervene

• Fear
• Lack of strategies and skills
• Group dynamics
• Lack of understanding their role
• Status management

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School Staff Response

• School staff is generally unaware of the extent
  of bullying and victimization problems.
• 42 of bullies and 46 of victims report that
  they have talked to teachers about problem.
• 71 of teachers and 25 of students say that
  teachers almost always intervene.
• Source REPORT 60 APRIL 2000 Making a Difference
  in Bullying Debra J. Pepler Wendy Craig

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School Staffs Involvement in Bullying and
Victimization?

• Observations indicate that teachers intervene in
  14 of classroom episodes and only 4 of
  playground episodes of bullying.
• Low staff intervention may occur because
• - the majority of episodes are verbal
• - episodes are brief
• - bullying occurs when monitoring is low
• Source REPORT 60 APRIL 2000 Making a Difference
  in Bullying Debra J. Pepler Wendy Craig

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Signs of Victimization

• Fear of going to school
• School work problems
• Missing possessions
• Injuries
• Withdrawal (quiet, sullen, daydreaming)
• Depressed
• Being difficult and argumentative
• (Message Everyone is picking on me)
• Nightmare and disturbed

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Principles

• Trust your instincts, if you think a child is
  being victimized they probably are
• Find a private opportunity to raise your concerns
  with the student
• Ensure safety of the victim
• Support the child who is being victimized
• Record the event and follow through with actions
• Inform the parents

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Types of Victims

• Passive Victims
• Avoid aggression and confrontation
• Do not elicit help from peers
• Cry easily
• Will not fight back
• Are not assertive
• Are anxious in social situations

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Types of Victims

• Aggressive Victims
• May behave in ways that may irritate others
• May tease and taunt others
• Lack social skills
• Tend to be aggressive
• Will often respond to others aggressively

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Children who frequently bully their peers are
more likely than others to

• Get into frequent fights
• Be injured in a fight
• Vandalize or steal property
• Drink alcohol
• Smoke
• Be truant from school
• Drop out of school and
• Carry a weapon

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Did You Know?

• Its illegal to bully or harass someone in the
  State of Idaho? Particularly in a school.

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18-917A. STUDENT HARASSMENT -- INTIMIDATION --
BULLYING

• 1) No student shall intentionally commit, or
  conspire to commit, an act of harassment,
  intimidation or bullying against another student.
  (2) As used in this section, "harassment,
  intimidation or bullying" means any intentional
  gesture, or any intentional written, verbal or
  physical act or threat by a student that (a) A
  reasonable person under the circumstances should
  know will have the effect of (i) Harming a
  student or (ii) Damaging a student's property
  or (iii) Placing a student in reasonable fear of
  harm to his or her person or (iv) Placing a
  student in reasonable fear of damage to his or
  her property or (b) Is sufficiently severe,
  persistent or pervasive that it creates an
  intimidating, threatening or abusive educational
  environment for a student. An act of harassment,
  intimidation or bullying may also be committed
  through the use of a land line, car phone or
  wireless telephone or through the use of data or
  computer software that is accessed through a
  computer, computer system, or computer network.
  (3) A student who personally violates any
  provision of this section may be guilty of an
  infraction.

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Idaho Law

• 18-6710. USE OF TELEPHONE TO ANNOY, TERRIFY,
  THREATEN, INTIMIDATE, HARASS OR OFFEND BY LEWD OR
  PROFANE LANGUAGE, REQUESTS, SUGGESTIONS OR
  PROPOSALS -- THREATS OF PHYSICAL HARM --
  DISTURBING THE PEACE BY REPEATED CALLS
• (1) Every person who, with intent to annoy,
  terrify, threaten, intimidate, harass or offend,
  telephones another and
• a) addresses to or about such person any obscene,
  lewd or profane language, or makes any request,
  suggestion or proposal which is obscene, lewd,
  lascivious or indecent or
• (b) addresses to such other person any threat to
  inflict injury or physical harm to the person or
  property of the person addressed or any member of
  his family, or any other person or

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Idaho Law

• (c) by repeated anonymous or identified telephone
  calls whether or not conversation ensues,
  disturbs the peace or attempts to disturb the
  peace, quiet, or right of privacy of any person
  at the place where the telephone call or calls
  are received, is guilty of a misdemeanor and upon
  conviction thereof, shall be sentenced to a term
  of not to exceed one (1) year in the county jail.
  Upon a second or subsequent conviction, the
  defendant shall be guilty of a felony and shall
  be sentenced to a term of not to exceed five (5)
  years in the state penitentiary.
• (2) The use of obscene, lewd or profane language
  or the making of a threat or obscene proposal, or
  the making of repeated anonymous telephone calls
  as set forth in this section may be prima facie
  evidence of intent to annoy, terrify, threaten,
  intimidate, harass or offend.
• (3) For the purposes of this section, the term
  "telephone" shall mean any device which provides
  transmission of messages, signals, facsimiles,
  video images or other communication between
  persons who are physically separated from each
  other by means of telephone, telegraph, cable,
  wire or the projection of energy without physical
  connection.

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Idaho Law

• 18-7906. STALKING IN THE SECOND DEGREE.
• (1) A person commits the crime of stalking in the
  second degree if the person knowingly and
  maliciously
• (a) Engages in a course of conduct that seriously
  alarms, annoys or harasses the victim and is such
  as would cause a reasonable person substantial
  emotional distress or
• (b) Engages in a course of conduct such as would
  cause a reasonable person to be in fear of death
  or physical injury, or in fear of the death or
  physical injury of a family or household member.
• (2) As used in this section (a) "Course of
  conduct" means repeated acts of nonconsensual
  contact involving the victim or a family or
  household member of the victim, provided however,
  that constitutionally protected activity is not
  included within the meaning of this definition.

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Remember,Bullying is a crime in Idaho.
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How Do I effect Change?

• Attitudinal change precedes behavioral change
• The process of change is slow and gradual and
  needs constant nourishment and never ends.
• Often when you introduce an anti-bullying
  intervention and sensitize the school community
  to the problem, it appears to get worse.
• Remember denial / image concerns
• Paradigm Change

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How Do I effect Change?

• Are you ready to fight the good fight? Why do you
  do what you do.
• How important is your role?
• I long to accomplish a great deal and noble
  task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish
  humble tasks as though they were great and
  noble.
• Helen Keller

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Strategies to increase staff awareness

• Educate school staff about the definition of
  bullying, the nature of bullying, the secrecy
  surrounding bullying, childrens reluctance to
  report bullying
• Help staff to develop strategies to detect and
  intervene in bullying.
• Differentiate between rough-and-tumble play and
  bullying or teasing and bullying.
• Learn how to recognize power imbalance, which is
  sometimes subtle in bullying.

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Responding to aggression

• Here are many possible responses, depending on
  the situation.
• - If equal power, then both parties receive equal
  consequence and opportunity for mediation to
  solve their dispute.
• - If unequal power, bullying, then bully receives
  formative consequences and victim receives
  supportive consequences.
• - When a group of children is involved, even as
  an audience, focus consequences on the group

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Intervention Strategies

• Watch for Early Signs!
• Interventions for mild forms of bullying can be
  less intensive than those for fully developed
  problems.
• A clear direction about no teasing, no
  name-calling, or no exclusion may avoid later
  problems of verbal aggression, social aggression
  and harassment.
• Dont Wait Until its Full Blown!
• Interventions when a problem starts to emerge are
  more effective than interventions applied once
  the behavior has become frequent and severe.

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Intervention Strategies

• HESITATION
• What causes it
• Not using the 4 Ps
• Result
• Problem becomes worse
• You become ineffective
• You job is harder / more stressful
• Performance issues
• You no longer enjoy your work

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Intervention Strategies

• Have you asked for
• Guidance
• Support
• Help
• Training
• Assistance
• Reassignment
• It is equally your (driver) responsibility to
  report and document problems

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Consequences and Responsibilities

• Consequences and responsibilities for aggressive
  behaviors must be immediate and consistently
  applied.
• Effective consequences and responsibilities are
  formative they help develop behaviors, skills,
  insights, and empathy.
• Responsibilities with some form of retribution
  promote understanding of impact of bullying.
• Consequences and responsibilities must be
  delivered non-aggressively -- hostile adults
  inadvertently provide lessons on bullying.

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Specific Interventions for Bullying

• 1. Record the problem behavior and provide
  consequences.
• 2. Educate the child about what bullying is and
  why it is not acceptable.
• 3. Withdraw privileges (recess, lunch) and
  provide formative replacement activities
• letter of apology
• reading and reporting on bullying story
• A caring act
• role playing victim with teacher to develop
  empathy
• 4. Determine ways in which this student can
  develop positive forms of leadership and
  experience power in a pro-social way.
• 5. Assess the complexity of the bullys problem.

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What if Interventions Do Not Work?

• If you havent contacted the students parents
  before this, now is the time to bring them in to
  help support the child. Carefully assess the
  parents abilities to be supportive.
• Children who bully repeatedly, seriously, and in
  different contexts, require a behavior management
  program developed in consultation with a mental
  health professional.
• Given the systemic nature of the problem (i.e.,
  it isnt just a problem with the child), the
  family may need help to support the student and
  to deal with bullying within the home context.

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Principles and Strategies for Dealing with Parents

• Always contact parent or guardian and inform of
  problem
• Convey your concern
• Work together to gain understanding
• Be supportive
• Recognize differences in family / social values
• Use a problem solving approach
• Provide the districts perspective and school
  plans for monitoring the problem
• Invite future communication and collaboration in
  supporting the children at risk.

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Family Factors Related to Bullying

• Experience a number of family stressors (i.e.,
  financial, single parent, illness)
• Family may lack social support
• High levels of parental conflict
• Lack of monitoring childs activities
• Inconsistent and harsh punishment
• Low levels of communication and intimacy

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Family Factors related to Victimization

• Overly protective parents
• Lack of independence in family
• Non assertive parents
• Family Stressors (e.g., divorce)
• Over involvement by parents

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Challenges of Dealing with Parents of Bullies

• Encountering myths
• Denial
• Not my child
• Children need to stand up for themselves
• Not a real problem

86
Challenges of Dealing with Parents of Bullies

• Listen and do not argue with parent
• State Districts position and goal of creating
  safe and caring environment
• Educate concerning why this may be a problem
• Problem solve how can work together for
  solutions
• Inform of Districts response and monitoring
• Be prepared not to change their perspective
• Dont take it personally
• Set clear expectations and consequences of
  bullying
• Be prepared to follow though
• Follow through
• Never threaten

87
What Can I Do?

• You have to recognize the bullys greatest ally.
• DENIAL
• School
• Police
• Community
• Parents

88
Denial

• Bullies thrive on denial, and lack of awareness
  by school staff. The bully whose actions go
  unaddressed today may likely be involved more
  significant criminal activity in the near future.
  

89
Denial

• The condition that makes the school environment
  most ripe for bullying and lack of awareness.  We
  have to make sure that we respond immediately and
  appropriately to bullying and not focus on image
  concerns for our organizations.  If there is a
  problem, call it a problem and deal with it.
• The longer we deny, the more entrenched the
  problem becomes and in the end, the worse our
  image / and problem will be.

90
Denial

• Denial gets you twice
• Denial will
• Allow someone / something else to influence our
  children into negative behaviors (including the
  media)
• Prevent you from working with police, school
  officials and the community to help your own
  child
• Rescuing and / or enabling

91
Denial

• The longer we deny or even minimize the problem,
  the more entrenched it becomes resulting in
  tragedy.
• We have to fix the Broken Windows

92
What Denial?
93
Challenges of Dealing with Parents of Bullies

• Unsupportive to schools concerns
• Aggressive and challenging
• Lack the personal resources to deal with problem
• Helpless
• Dismissive

94
Challenges of Interviewing Parents of Victims

• Heightened emotion
• Use active listening
• Anger
• Calming techniques
• Diffuse anger
• Frustration
• Try and understand
• Anxiety
• Need for Retribution / Revenge
• pound of flesh

95
Challenges of Interviewing Parents of Victims

• Sense of helplessness about the problem
• Empowerment through educational programs
• Referral
• MDT approach
• Wanting the school to do more
• reasonableness
• Dismissive
• Especially dangerous
• Possible H W referral (failure to protect)

96
Responses to Challenging Parents of Victim

• Acknowledge parents concerns and worries
• Healthy to advocate for child
• Inform them of what the consequences were for
  the bully
• Within district policies (FERPA)
• Educate concerning the importance of making
  amends and having formative consequences
• Participate in own healing

97
Responses to Challenging Parents of Victim

• Indicate measures taken to support and protect
  their child
• Careful with release of information
• Ask for their input
• Partnership
• Dont make promises
• Offer to update parents the following week
• Reasonable and prudent
• Educate on effects and how parents can help

98
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99
P.O.W.E.R
100
P.O.W.E.R.

• P.O.W.E.R. is an acronym, in other words its a
  word formed by the first letter of a series of
  word.
• For example, WAC stands for Western Athletic
  Conference

101
P.O.W.E.R.

• The acronym P.O.W.E.R. is designed to help you
  remember that YOU have the power to help stop
  bullying whether you are the bully, the person
  being bullied or are just bystander or someone
  who knows that bullying is going on

102
P

• P stands for PRIDE. You have to have pride in
  yourself! This is the first tool well talk
  about. Being proud of yourself and of who you
  are is the first step to not participate in or
  tolerate bullying.

103
O

• O stands for OPEN MINDEDNESS. You have to be
  open minded and accepting of others. Being
  accepting of others makes it easier for others to
  accept you. As an adult, is this the message you
  convey to your students?

ARE YOU OPEN MINDED?
104
W

• W is for WILLPOWER. Do you have the willpower
  to not follow the crowd or be influenced by
  predispositions?
• Do you have the willpower to be nice to someone
  who your friends may want to make fun of or
  tease?
• Do you have the will power to say no thanks to
  your friends who want to engage in negative
  behaviors?
• Do you have the willpower to not passively
  participate in bullying? (including observation
  with no action)

105
E

• E stands for EMPATHY.
• Empathy is the ability to place yourself in
  someone elses shoes.
• How does what is happening to someone else make
  you feel?
• WHY IS IT IMPORTATNT TO PUT YOURSELF IN SOMEONE
  ELSES SHOES?

106
R

• R stands for RESPECT. What is respect to you?
  Why is it important?
• Respect is treating others as well as you would
  like to be treated.
• Respect is understanding and acknowledging the
  rights of someone else to have their beliefs.
• Respect, you have to give it to get it!
• That includes adults! (modeling)

107
H.E.R.O.
108
H.E.R.O.

• H.E.R.O. is also an acronym, in other words its
  a word formed by the first letter of a series of
  word.
• The acronym H.E.R.O. is designed to help you
  remember that YOU can be a HERO to someone by
  taking a stand and making the decision not to
  tolerate bullying.

109
H

• H stands for HELP. Dont be afraid to help
  someone.
• Make a decision and take a stand!

110
E

• E Stands for Everyone
• Dont compartmentalize your help.
• Be willing to help anyone

111
R O

• R O stands for REGARDLESS OF
• Be willing to help regardless of your own
  prejudices, preconceptions, assumptions, etc.
• Race, color, creed, gender, religion,
  nationality, etc.

112
H.E.R.O.

• HELP EVERYONE REGARDLESS
• OF __________________
• (fill in)

113
H.E.R.O.

• Use your P.O.W.E.R. and be a H.E.R.O. __________

114
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115
Conflict Resolution
116
Basic Tenets for Empowerment of Students

• It is easier to awaken empathy and reduce
  tolerance of bullying among the silent majority
  than it is to change the behavior of individual.
• Aggressive students are more likely to respond to
  peer censure than to adult censure. Therefore, by
  working with a group of students to help them
  understand the dynamics of power, the abuse of
  power, the experience of victimization, and the
  strategies for positive power, significant change
  can occur within student peer groups.
• It can be done with all the students in a class
  or bus or with a specific group of students,
  depending on situation.

117
Strategies for Staff

• Communicate a respectful attitude, rather than a
  punitive or blaming one.
• Create a working alliance with students to engage
  them productively.
• Communicate an accepting and non judgmental
  attitude about personal worth of all the students
  (POWER) and not condone bullying behavior.

118
STEPS TO RESOLVE A CONFLICT

• Define the conflict.If defined objectively,
  rather than subjectively, which is how most of us
  do it, conflict means only this We need a new
  way of doing things, the old way has failed. If
  two sides can define what they are fighting
  about, the chances increase that misperceptions
  will he clarified.
• It is not you against me it is you and me
  against the problem.The problem is the problem.
  In a battle, even if one side does win, the first
  reaction of the loser is, I want a rematch I
  will come back with meaner words, harder fists
  and bigger bombs. Then the enemy will learn, then
  they will be good and then we will have peace
  forever. This is an illusion, hut few can give it
  up. By focusing on the problem, and not the
  person with the problem, a climate of
  cooperation, not competition, is enhanced.
• List the relationship's many shared concerns and
  needs, as against one shared separation.In
  Ernest Hemingway's novel, "A farewell to Arms," a
  character is described in a hauntingly beautiful
  phrase, "He was strong in the broken places." All
  of us have been, are being or will be broken by
  life. If we are strong in the broken places,
  chances for mending increase. They will increase
  if the strengths of the relationship -- the
  shared concerns and needs -- are given more
  attention than the lone unshared separation.

119
STEPS TO RESOLVE A CONFLICT

• When people have fought, do not ask what
  happened.This is an irrelevant question. They
  will answer with their version of what happened,
  almost always self-justifying. The better
  question is, "What did you do?" This elicits
  facts, not opinions. Misperceptions are
  clarified, not prolonged.
• Work on active listening, not passive
  hearing.Conflicts escalate when partners try to
  talk more than listen and then only listen as a
  time-out for verbal rearming. Listening well is
  an act of caring. If you are a good listener, you
  have many friends. If you are a poor listener,
  you have many acquaintances.
• Choose a place to resolve the conflict, not the
  battleground itself.Armies tend to sign peace
  treaties far from war zones. Too many emotions
  are there. In some schools around the country,
  peace rooms are in place. Anyone who was fighting
  -- in the schoolyard, the halls, the bus --
  automatically knows to go to the peace room at
  the time set. Who will be there? Mediators
  classmates who have been trained in nonviolent
  conflict resolution. Principals and psychologists
  in schools that have peace rooms see the results
  in lower rates of violence.

120
STEPS TO RESOLVE A CONFLICT

• Start with what's doable. Restoration of peace
  cannot be done quickly. If it took a long time
  for the dispute to begin, it will take time to
  end it. Work, on one small doable rather than
  many large undoables. Almost always, it is a
  laughably small wound that causes the first hurt
  in relationship. But then, ignoring the smallness
  lakes on a size of its own. Ignoring the problem
  becomes larger than the original problem.
• Develop forgiveness skills. Many people of large
  minds are willing to say after the conflict, "I'm
  going to bury the hatchet." To themselves, they -
  add "But I'm going to mark exactly where I bury
  it, just in case I need to dig it up for the next
  fight." Forgiveness looks forward, vengeance
  looks backward. Again, it's anatomy we have eyes
  in the front of our heads, not the back.
• Purify our hearts. This is merely an elegant way
  of telling ourselves, "I need to get my own messy
  life in order before I can instruct others how to
  live." Do these nine steps of nonviolent conflict
  resolution always work? No. Sometimes the
  conflict partners are so emotionally wounded or
  ideologically hidebound, that nothing con stop
  the violence. But large numbers of conflicts can
  be resolved without killing or wounding the other
  side, provided the strategies for peacemaking are
  known.
• source Peaceful Conflict Resolution is
  Teachable nine steps provide the key to resolving
  disputes peacefully -Colman McCarthy

121
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122
Positive Presence
123
Use of force continuum

• Presence (using the effect of the presence of an
  authority figure on a subject)
• Verbalization (commanding a subject)
• Empty hand control (using empty hands to search,
  relieve weapons, immobilize, or otherwise control
  a subject)
• Intermediate weapons (using non-lethal chemical,
  electronic or impact weapons on a subject)
• Deadly Force (using any force likely to cause
  permanent injury or death to a subject)

124
use of force

• The term use of force refers to the right of an
  individual or authority to settle conflicts or
  prevent certain actions by applying measures to
  either
• a) dissuade another party from a particular
  course of action, or
• b) physically intervene to stop them.

125
The reasonable person standard

• In general, the law imposes a duty on everyone to
  behave at least as carefully as a reasonable,
  ordinary, prudent person in the same or similar
  situation. 
• This is known as the reasonable person standard. 
• If a court establishes that the defendant acted
  reasonably, even though his or her actions caused
  the injury to another, the defendant is not
  negligent and not liable for damages. 
• Children and the mentally disabled are typically
  held to a lower standard than adults
  professionals, such as doctors and attorneys, are
  held to a higher standard

126
Use of force

• A. Perceptions
• As previously outlined, the first step in the
  PEDA model involves the drivers perceptions.
  Another way of describing this step is by
  reference to the subject's actions. The driver
  observes these actions and this basic information
  becomes "input" to the following steps. In some
  agencies, this is the first step in the "threat
  assessment" process.
• Just as the driver has a range of actions open to
  him/her, so does the subject of the encounter. It
  is also possible to consider those actions as
  part of a "resistance" or "threat continuum". For
  example, subjects may exhibit any or all of the
  following behaviors
• Intimidation (hard stares)
• Non-compliance/Passive Resistance
• Defensive actions (run, push, shove)
• Active aggression (actions to harm the driver)
• Aggravated aggression (use of a weapon)
• Observations of the subject's actions and the
  ability to articulate each perception is an
  important part of an drivers explanation if
  he/she is called upon to explain a particular use
  of force.

127
Use of Force

• B. Evaluation.
• The evaluation phase of the encounter requires
  the driver to consider three important elements
  regarding the subject ability, opportunity, and
  jeopardy. For each element, there are indicators
  useful to the drivers evaluation
• 1 Ability did the subject have the means to do
  bodily harm to another person?  Indicators are
  age, size, weapon(s), mental status, drug or
  alcohol use, threatening gestures, known prior
  history, apparent skill level.
• 2 Opportunity  Did the subject have the
  opportunity to seriously injure or kill the
  driver or another person? Some indicators are
  positioning, timing, proximity, action.
• 3 Jeopardy  Did the subject's action expose the
  driver to a perceived danger or was there a
  reasonable perception that the person would
  seriously injure or kill the driver or other
  persons?  Indicators include imminent harm, fear
  of death or bodily injury.

128
Use of Force

• Once the driver has "collected" the facts
  (through perception) and evaluated the situation,
  he/she must move to a decision. At this point, it
  is useful to revue an drivers obligations or
  priorities in making the decision to act
• 1st priority -- To protect all innocent students
  in your care.
• 2nd priority -- To protect yourself and fellow
  drivers.
• 3rd priority -- To protect the subject student.
• Given these priorities, the driver decides on a
  course of action that
• 1 Selects the level of force that is reasonable
  and apparently necessary at the moment it is
  used.
• 2 Is based on the totality of circumstances.
• 3 Responds to the perceived levels of
  resistance.

129
Use of force in Self Defense

• 1) An person may use only the degree of force
  which is reasonably necessary to protect him /
  herself.

130
Decision Risk Factors

• When we face a situation involving a possible use
  of force, we must recognize the factors that
  could effect performance in facing this complex
  and difficult task. Understanding the forces of
  stress and inner conflict that can effect
  performance in the encounter is essential to
  mastering this situation. Some of the most common
  sources of stress and conflict in this type of
  performance environment include
• 1 Long term stress divorce, ill child.
• 2 Short term stress last call for service,
  hunger.
• 3 Anger created by loss of control or loss of
  self esteemgt
• 4 Fear created by real or exaggerated threats.
• 5 Prior mind-sets racial, gender, political,
  economic.
• 6 Health considerations weight, blood pressure,
  etc.
• Each of these "risk factors" present unique
  issues which may have a profound impact but are
  hard to recognize. Stress can be incremental and
  often unobserved. Also the combination of small
  hassles with a spouse, child or supervisor can
  raise stress levels. Anger can be targeted at
  others who are not the source of anger. Fear is
  often a hidden dimension. Fear of injury,
  humiliation or generalized danger may be directed
  at types of persons, neighborhoods or situations.
  Mind-sets about fear or danger can change one's
  perception of a situation. Believing that a
  particular housing area is dangerous may
  influence the approach that an officer takes
  toward the encounter. Health concerns may effect
  body positioning, gait, mobility, and sense of
  competence.

131
Decision Risk Factors
Recognizing these risk factors and learning to
control oneself are important components in any
approach to a possible use of force encounter.
What will help you subdue these performance
inhibitors is your ability to deal with a force
encounter and your rapid response to correcting
these inhibiting factors. Specific steps include
your ability to 1 Recognize and control your
emotions prior to being able to control others
2 Balance your mind and body while anticipating
your approach to the encounter 3 Avoid
impulsive words or trigger terms 4 Reaffirm
your sense of dignity in approaching the
situation 5 Have a realistic sense of what one
may encounter verbal abuse, oppositional
behavior, blood, etc 6 Avoid the need to be
right. Focus on resolving the encounter rather
than affirming your authority or sense of false
honor 7 Avoid tunnel vision caused by anger,
loss of control or esteem
132
Assault

• 18-901. ASSAULT DEFINED. An assault is
• (a) An unlawful attempt, coupled with apparent
  ability, to commit a violent injury on the person
  of another or
• (b) An intentional, unlawful threat by word or
  act to do violence to the person of another,
  coupled with an apparent ability to do so, and
  doing some act which creates a well-founded fear
  in such other person that such violence is
  imminent.

133
Battery

• 18-903. BATTERY DEFINED. A battery is any
• a) Willful and unlawful use of force or violence
  upon the person of another or
• (b) Actual, intentional and unlawful touching or
  striking of another person against the will of
  the other or
• (c) Unlawfully and intentionally causing bodily
  harm to an individual.

134
ABUSE OF SCHOOL TEACHERS

• 18-916. ABUSE OF SCHOOL TEACHERS.
• Every parent, guardian or other person who
  upbraids, insults or abuses any teacher of the
  public schools, in the presence and hearing of a
  pupil thereof, is guilty of a misdemeanor.

135
AGGRAVATED ASSAULT

• 18-905. AGGRAVATED ASSAULT DEFINED. An aggravated
  assault is an assault
• (a) With a deadly weapon or instrument without
  intent to kill or
• (b) By any means or force likely to produce great
  bodily harm. or
• (c) With any vitriol, corrosive acid, or a
  caustic chemical of any kind.
• (d) "Deadly weapon or instrument" as used in this
  chapter is defined to include any firearm, though
  unloaded or so defective that it can not be fired.

136
AGGRAVATED BATTERY

• 18-907. AGGRAVATED BATTERY DEFINED. (1) A person
  commits aggravated battery who, in committing
  battery
• (a) Causes great bodily harm, permanent
  disability or permanent disfigurement or
• (b) Uses a deadly weapon or instrument or
• (c) Uses any vitriol, corrosive acid, or a
  caustic chemical of any nature or
• (d) Uses any poison or other noxious or
  destructive substance or liquid or

137
Positive Presence

• Who is in charge of your bus or busses?
• Do your students agree with you?
• What about your supervisors Coworkers?
• What about the teachers and administrators you
  work with?
• What about your students parents?

138
Positive Presence

• Plainly explained, positive presence is the first
  level of control or force.
• Your positive presence is what can determine the
  outcome of a given incident
• Your positive presence can prevent a given
  incident

139
Positive Presence

• Appearance
• Look the part, dress professional.
• Look like you know what you are doing.
• Professional yet approachable.
• Do you look the part?

140
Positive Presence

• BODY LANGUAGE
• Walk with your head up, eyes alert and expression
  intent.
• You do not want to appear weak or vulnerable.
  You want to project the image of someone who
  knows why they are where they are and who is
  trained and knows what they are doing and
  competent.
• Walk with intent. Move like you know where you
  are going and that you have a purpose in going
  there.
• You need to portray an I am confident and know
  what I am doing in this situation" image.  The
  key is to be outwardly confident - even if on the
  inside you are scared out of your wits. You want
  your body language to convey confidence.
• Do you carry yourself with confidence?

141
Positive Presence

• SPEECH
• How you speak, really sets the tone as to how
  your encounter will go. If you do not have a
  positive presence in your voice and speech,
  your chances for a successful outcome are greatly
  diminished.

142
Positive Presence

• SPEECH (continued)
• Voice Control
• Calm
• Confident
• Reassuring voice
• Example Air traffic controller / Pilot
• Respectful communication
• Golden rule
• You must give to receive
• Would you be comfortable saying that on the 6
  oclock news
• What would grandma think?
• There is more than one way to say Yes Sir or
  yes mam

143
Positive Presence

• SPEECH (continued)
• Which voice are you using?
• Child
• Defensive
• Victimized
• Emotional
• Whiny
• Losing attitude
• Strongly negative non-verbal
• Parent
• Authoritative
• Directive
• Judgmental
• Evaluative
• A win-lose mentality
• No win-win
• Demanding
• Punitive
• Sometimes threatening

144
Positive Presence

• WHAT DO PEOPLE SEE YOU DOING?
• If someone was watching you, what would they
  think?
• Do you walk around with your hands in your
  pockets?
• Do you avoid eye contact?
• Do you look at the ground all the time?
• Do you look bored and inattentive?
• Do people think you care about what you do?
• Do you carry yourself with confidence?
• Do you look, act and speak the part.

145
Higley 911 School Bus Call "Our Bus Driver's
Insane"

• February 26th, 2008 _at_ 756am
• by KTAR Newsroom
• "Our bus driver's insane," a student tells a 911
  dispatcher as he reports a brawl on a school bus
  in the Higley Unified School District on Feb. 15.
  The tape, released by Gilbert police on Tuesday,
  shows the student continued, "She (the driver)
  just got in a fist fight. The kid is bleeding,
  she just got her hair ripped out." The caller
  also said, "She's bawling. I'm pretty sure there
  were some fists thrown." The police report said
  the fight involved Samantha Taylor, 15, a student
  at Williams Field High School, and the bus
  driver, Kim Sullivan, 54. Police have
  recommended that both Taylor and Sullivan be
  charged with aggravated assault and disorderly
  conduct. They also want two other girls who were
  on the bus charged with disorderly conduct. The
  fight began when Sullivan refused to let Taylor
  get off the bus after she scolded her for being
  too loud, police said. Taylor called her mother
  from her cell phone and handed the phone to
  Sullivan to have her speak with her mother, the
  report said. The driver reportedly turned off the
  phone and threw it to the floor. The report adds
  that after the fight, Sullivan would not let any
  students off the bus and that they got out
  through the emergency exit while Taylor's mother
  was banging on the bus. The whole incident was
  captured on surveillance tape, which showed
  Taylor screaming, "Drive this bus," and Sullivan
  responding, "You are crazy." Maricopa County
  Attorney Andrew Thomas will decide whether
  charges will be filed.

146
Teen Charged In School Bus Brawl

• Driver Does Not Face Prosecution, County Attorney
  Says
• POSTED 516 pm MST March 31, 2008