Understanding Love Languages - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

1 / 19
About This Presentation
Title:

Understanding Love Languages

Description:

Understanding Love Languages (How to express love so that ... Not something we choose, just happens! 2. Love as an attitude -- 'Agape' a. Act of the will. ... – PowerPoint PPT presentation

Number of Views:74
Avg rating:3.0/5.0
Slides: 20
Provided by: adam154
Category:

less

Transcript and Presenter's Notes

Title: Understanding Love Languages


1
Understanding Love Languages
  • (How to express love so that others feel it
    emotionally)
  • By Brent Hunter

2
I. INTRODUCTION
  • A. Without love we could not survive!
  • B. Much confusion, especially in communicating
    love
  • C.Three types

1. Romantic Love --
a. Actually an emotional obsession that lasts
about two years
b. Not something we choose, just happens!
3
2. Love as an attitude -- Agape
a. Act of the will. Divine Love
b. We choose this kind of love
3. Love as an emotional need --
a. What Titus 23-4 is about
b. Need instruction to have wisdom and insight
c. The concept of love languages is key to
express love so the other party feels it.
4
  • D. Thesis

1. The Eight Love Languages
2. Principles how to use and u/s them
3. How to increase responsiveness
5
I. EIGHT LOVE LANGUAGES--Simple yet profound
insights
  • A. Saying it with WORDS

1. Must be sincere and specific
2. Look for the good and build on it Caught your
children doing something right.
3. Brag on good qualities of others in their
presence

4. Stress the person behind the deed Ex. Do you
like the picture I painted? Yes I do. But not
as much as the one who painted it.
6
  • B. Meeting Material Needs--GIFTS

1. Find out what the other person likes--not what
you like
2. Needs to be thoughtful--not
3. Esp. meaningful when the giver sacrifices
something of value to himself/herself in order to
provide for the need of the other
4. Bible examples of Gift giving
b. Hannahs coat- Samuel
a. Josephs coat of colors
7
  • C. Acts of Service I John 318 Love not in word,
    but in deed.

1. Doing for the other person-- things they would
like to have done!
2. Some--show their love by doing things for
people
D. Spending QUALITY TIME Together
1. Giving Undivided Attention
2. Jesus and the Twelve Peter, James and John
3. C.S. Lewis No time spent with a child is ever
wasted.
8
  • E. Physical TOUCH

1. Jesus and children-- Mk 10 13-16
2. Three hugs a day--keeps marriage counselor
away.
9
The Value of Meaningful Touch. Touch blesses us
by
  • Raising the hemoglobin level in our blood, thus
    increasing the bodys ability to heal itself and
    fight off disease.
  • Lowers our blood pressure
  • Increases our life span
  • Gives us increased levels of energy/ enthusiasm.
  • Makes us feel more positive about life and
    those with whom we interact.
  • A UCLA study found that in order to
    maintain physical and emotional health, the
    average man or woman needs eight to ten
    meaningful touches a day.

10
  • 2. FAITHFULNESS

F. Being on the Same Side (TEAM) 1. Feeling
Loyal to each other is important 2. Take the
criticism pledge!
3. PROTECTION
a. Allies protect each other when they are
attacked. We should do the same
b. You feel loved when someone comes to your aid
and defends you from someone else!
11
  • G. BRINGING OUT THE BEST

1. A fulfilled marriage can come only when each
partner grows because of the union instead of
slowly and surely squelched by it.
2. INSECURITY AND SELFISHNESS- represses this
languages potential.
a. One party is threatened by the others success
and resents it.
12
  • b. One party is so consumed with their own
    interests and career that they leave no room to
    show interest and concern for the other parties
    interest.

3. How can you express you want the other person
to grow and be the best they can be?
a. Through praise and encouragement
b. Prayer for each others growth
13
  • H. Meeting EMOTIONAL NEEDS
  • 1. Must not project and assume what we need is
    the same for others
  • 2. Based on childhood and background--70 time
    different
  • 3. Must listen so to understand
  • 4. Need to let the drawbridge down! It enables
    two people to have some walls up for protection,
    yet trust another person to enter into the very
    core and center of each others being

14
  • 5. Do you know what the other person needs most
    from you?

II. PRINCIPLES OF COMMUNICATION
A. Remember it is FILTERED (See chart)
1. We all , by nature, tend to speak our own
language(s) and filter out others.
2. What we all think we are communication may not
be interpreted that way by the other party. This
can cause great hurt and frustration if we dont
realize what is going on!
15
B. Learn to speak your spouses language
1. Play the Tank Check Game
a. On a scale of 1 - 10, with 10 being full and 1
being almost empty, how is your emotional tank?
b. Ask your mate periodically. How is your
tank?
c. If the answer is anything less than 9 - 10,
ask, How can I help fill it?
16
2. Emotional Warmth can be reborn! You can fall
in love again!
C. The Key is to Find the Primary Language
1. What is the first thing you do when you want
to express love?
2. Probably what you want others to do for you!
3. If we dont learn to speak the primary
language, the others wont be heard. After the
primary language is spoken, the others are heard
loud and clear.
17
  • D. Do not abuse the primary language

1. That is the place where your mate is most
vulnerable.
2. Build a shrine around it and make sure you
dont slip in the area that enters into the
core and center of their soul.
III. HOW TO INCREASE RESPONSIVENESS
A. Eliminate the Negative
This is the more important than positively
communicating love!
18
  • B. Reinforce the desired language with praise.
  • C. Clear up offenses-
  • 1. This is especially important for women
  • 2. If offenses have not been cleared up, the
    couple cant be and feel close.
  • 3. This will ultimately will affect the physical
    relationship. Most of the time, sexual problems
    are not about sex, but the relationship!
  • D. Be patient-takes time for drawbridges to be
    lowered!

19
Conclusion
  • A. Learn this insight and apply it to all of your
    relationships!
  • B. If you want further information I would
    recommend the reading of
  • 1. HOW DO YOU SAY, I LOVE YOU? by Judson J.
    Swihart. InterVarsity Press, Downers Grove,
    Illinois 60515
  • 2. THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES by Dr. Chapman
  • C. Both can be ordered from the Florida College
    Bookstore (1-800-423-1653 USA or 1-800-922-2390
    Florida).
Write a Comment
User Comments (0)
About PowerShow.com