Self Esteem in School Age Children With Learning Disabilities

1
Self Esteem in School Age Children With Learning
Disabilities

• Who, What, Where,When
• Why, Why Not and How
• Mark J. Griffin Ph.D.
• Eagle Hill School, Greenwich, CT

2
Self Esteem

• Self esteem is like the bloom on a woman- If
  you have it, you dont need anything else. If
  you dont have it, it doesnt matter what else
  you have (Hagin, 2002).

3
Kids Speak for Themselves

• Status
• Good Self Concept
• Acceptance
• Ability to Make and Keep Friends
• Ability to Take Risks

4
What Can We Do to Foster Self Esteem?

• Children should be helped to set realistic goals
• Give frequent, positive feedback
• Show your appreciation
• Constructive criticism works best
• Accentuate the positive
• Frustration is not all bad

5
What Can We Do to Foster Self Esteem?

• Family matters
• Promote self-advocacy
• Encourage good social skills
• Expect that mistakes will happen
• Encourage independence

6
Self Esteem

• Self esteem is a collection of beliefs or
  feelings that we have about ourselves.
• How we define ourselves hugely influences our
  motivations, attitudes and behaviors.

7
Self Esteem

• Healthy self esteem is a childs armor against
  the challenges of the world. Kids with learning
  disabilities who feel good about themselves seem
  to have an easier time handling conflicts and
  resisting negative pressures. They are realistic,
  more happy and generally optimistic.

8
Self Esteem

• Self esteem fluctuates as a child grows and
  develops. We must remember that development is a
  moving target. Self esteem is fine tuned, as it
  is affected by a childs experiences and new
  perceptions. Building self-esteem is a process
  not an event.

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Self Esteem

• Children with healthy self-esteem generally feel
  worthwhile (and lovable), despite lifes bumpy
  road and believe that they are capable, and
  extend themselves as learners and people.

10
Self Esteem

• Honest praise is perhaps the quickest and most
  sure way of building self esteem. Find some way
  to praise kids each day. Make sure the praise is
  specific, realistic and true. Celebrate the
  PROCESS of praise as much as the product. A child
  does not have to be successful to earn praise.
  Try to give them a task which can be completed
  just to give them praise!

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Self Esteem

• The California Task Force to promote Self-Esteem
  and Personal and Social Responsibility in their
  report Toward a State of Esteem defined
  self-esteem not only in terms of my own self
  worth and importance but also someone having the
  character to be accountable for myself and to act
  responsibly toward others.(Brooks, 1994)

12
Low Self Esteem

• Low Self-Esteem Believing that I am unworthy,
  incompetent and inadequate.

KIDS WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM ARE EXPERTS AT
FILTERING OUT AND NULLIFYING POSITIVE INPUT.
They often have a DISTORTED ATTRIBUTE SYSTEM
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Low Self Esteem

• Specific fears accompanying Low Self-Esteem
• Fear of confirming ones own inadequacies.
• Fear of revealing ones inadequacies to others
  which would result in disapproval, criticism,
  rejection, or blame.
• Fear of losing what one has fear that success
  cannot be sustained fear of abandonment.

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Low Self Esteem

• Fear of experiencing humiliation,
• depression, devastation or despair -Resilience
  and recuperative factors are critical in this
  area.

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Children with Learning Disabilities

• More likely to be neglected and rejected by peers
  and less likely to be popular.
• Have been found to be be deficient in
  self-esteem, social perception and role taking.
• Weak in conversational skills.
• Shown to be more prone to internalizing than
  externalizing behavior disorders (Weiner
  Harris, 1997).

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Children with Learning Disabilities

• More likely to be viewed by some teachers as less
  socially competent and at times nearly impossible
  to teach making teachers feel incompetent or ill
  prepared.
• Often have a very inaccurate view of attribution.

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Children with Learning Disabilities

• Adopt learned helplessness as a way of life.
• Self-esteem can be a huge issue or huge ally for
  kids with learning disabilities
• Live in a life that seems hugely unpredictable

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Facts about Self Esteem

• Children begin forming beliefs about themselves
  early in life.
• Children look to parents and other significant
  adults and eventually peers for evidence that
  theyre lovable, smart capable, etc. If they
  dont get this evidence, low self esteem has a
  very good chance of developing.

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Facts about Self Esteem

• Self-esteem affects school success. Children who
  feel good about themselves and their abilities
  are much more likely to do well in school even
  if they have learning disabilities. Untreated
  learning disabilities obviously contribute
  greatly to significant, often debilitating, loss
  of self esteem.
• Self esteem affects how children relate to other
  people.
• Self esteem affects creativity and risk taking.

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Facts about Self Esteem

• Parents clearly affect their childrens self
  esteem. Research shows that children with high
  self-esteem tend to have parents who show their
  children lots of love and acceptance.
• Children with low self esteem tend to have
  parents who are judgmental and critical.

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Facts about Self Esteem

• Teachers also clearly affect the development or
  non-development of self-esteem in children.
  Simple reprimands or degrading phrases may begin
  the downward spiral that helps kids with learning
  disabilities feel that they are indeed dumb,
  inadequate, a burden, unlikely to succeed and not
  worthy of a good educational experience or the
  teachers or classmates time.

22
Facts about Self Esteem

• Children need discipline. Kids who do not have
  limits are unlikely to develop durable, high
  self-esteem. They tend to be more dependent and
  feel they have less control in an amorphous
  world. Parameters and clear limits are of
  immeasurable benefit to kids who are at times
  impulsive,generally not internally organized and
  have difficulty following through on a variety of
  tasks and relationships.

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Social Competence

• Peer Relations
• Self Concept
• Social Skills

• Adult Relations
• Social Perceptions
• Attributions

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School-Aged Kids With Learning Disabilities
Protective Factors

• Stable family care
• Positive self concept
• Good social competence
• Effective social skills

• Disability self-awareness
• Strong self advocacy skills
• Locus of control
• Effective communication skills

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Complexity of Social Demands

• In order to perform competently students must be
  able to
• Attend to environmental conditions
• Have and use required skills
• Adapt behavior to changing circumstances
• Predict the outcomes of their actions
• Evaluate the effectiveness of their behavior

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Complexity of Social Demands

• The demands for interacting in structured
  situations-supervised by adults- and in
  unstructured situations are very different
• Social demands are set by teachers, by classmates
  and students themselves
• Social demands can be explicit--clearly
  communicated to students-or they can be
  implicit--suggested by circumstances

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What Can We Do to Foster Self Esteem?

• Children should be helped to set realistic goals
• Give frequent, positive feedback
• Show your appreciation
• Constructive criticism works best
• Accentuate the positive
• Frustration is not all bad

28
What Can We Do to Foster Self Esteem?

• Family matters
• Promote self-advocacy
• Encourage good social skills
• Expect that mistakes will happen
• Encourage independence

29
What Can We Do to Foster Self Esteem?

• Givens
• Accurate information about the nature and extent
  of the childs learning disability.
• Appropriate whole child educational
  intervention program in place.
• Acknowledgement that children with learning
  disabilities require exceptional parenting and at
  least very good teaching.

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What Can We Do to Foster Self Esteem?

• Become the ultimate Observer. Observe and cue!
• Foster Self-Esteem in each child individually.
• Make your child/student feel special and
  appreciated
• Help your child to develop problem-solving and
  decision making skills. Know your childs
  strengths weaknesses
• Be an empathetic parent/teacher
• Help kids have the courage to be imperfect.
  Mistakes are a part of learning and not the end
  of the world!

31
What Can We Do to Foster Self Esteem?

• Self esteem is fine tuned, as it is affected by a
  childs experiences and new perceptions.
• Building self-esteem is a process not an event.
• Honest praise is perhaps the quickest and most
  sure way of building self esteem. Find some way
  to praise kids each day

32
What Can We Do to Foster Self Esteem?

• Give a child opportunities to make choices and
  take responsibilities that fit his stage of
  development.
• Remember that development is a moving target.
• Be consistent. Children thrive when the know
  whats expected of them and can see clear
  consequences.(good and bad)
• Accept and embrace kids as the person they are,
  not want YOU hoped they might be.
• Help your child understand the nature of his/her
  learning disability

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What Can We Do to Foster Self Esteem?

• Be aware of the childs peer relations and
  friendships (or lack of)
• Avoid comments that are judgmental and instead,
  frame them in more positive terms
• Never embarrass a child particularly in front of
  other kids
• Provide choices for Your Child.
• Recognize that no kid wants to fail or appear
  inadequate or inappropriate.

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What Can We Do to Foster Self Esteem?

• Never knowingly let kids doubt themselves. Be
  there to validate and verify their worth on an
  ongoing basis. They often test us to see if they
  really are worthwhile in our eyes.
• Match kids interests, abilities and not so strong
  areas effectively.
• Many of us have had our lives changed by a few
  good teachers

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What Can We Do to Foster Self Esteem?

• Help the child develop resilience
• Become the Solomon of sibling issues.
• Highlight your childs strengths
• Provide opportunities for children to help. Not
  surprisingly even early adolescents like to do
  this.
• Have realistic expectations for your
  child.Encourage sensible risk-taking. Anything
  is possible

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What Can We Do to Foster Self Esteem?

• Give unconditional love and discipline
• Be the Gateway to the community.
• Let the child know he does not have to prove
  himself over and over to get your approval.
• Be a Creator of status
• Be a Creator of useful antecedents where the
  child will be successful
• Find kids their Island(s) of Competence
  (Brooks, 1994).

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What Can We Do to Foster Self Esteem?

• Use effective, honest praise with kids. Be very
  specific. Openly Appreciate efforts and
  interests.
• Treat kids with respect
• Listen and respond to kids, but dont always fix
  things.
• Help minimize organizational issues.
• Help kids become good self-advocates.

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What Can We Do to Foster Self Esteem?

• Dont let your children criticize themselves
  qualitatively
• Spend time quality with your children
• Teach you children positive self-talk (Reframing)
• Encourage your children to make some decisions
  for themselves
• Look for small victories or achievements and
  celebrate them

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REFRAMING The Process
RECOGNITION
STAGE 1
UNDERSTANDING
STAGE 2
ACCEPTANCE
STAGE 3
STAGE 4
PLAN OF ACTION (GERBER, 1994)
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What Can We Do to Foster Self Esteem?

• Give your children freedom to take risks
• Encourage your childs friendships. Make your
  home available.
• Encourage your childs interests and abilities
• Display your childs goodwork of any kind.
  (Refrigerators and bulletin boards are lifes
  first art exhibit medium!)

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What Can We Do to Foster Self Esteem?

• Respond to each child INDIVIDUALLY!
• Take time to talk with children about whats
  important to him/her (not you)
• Reinforce the behavior you like.
• Keep your expectations consistent with the
  childs stage of development and ability-be
  realistic. Dont expect too much or too little!

42
What Can We Do to Foster Self Esteem?

• Facilitate interactions with peers
• Communication is the key
• Compare a childs skills against his previous
  accomplishments-avoid peer and sibling
  comparisons.
• Pay attention to your own behavior and attitudes.
  Children learn through watching adults.

43
What Can We Do to Foster Self Esteem?

• Respond to the behavior instead of the
  personality
• Give your child lots of honest recognition for
  his/her accomplishments
• Acknowledge fears and anxieties.
• Accept the childs feelings - positive and
  negative-without judging him/her

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What Can We Do to Foster Self Esteem?

• Always Remember..

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Go Ye Forth!

• And Help foster the development good, durable
  self-esteem in your children and students!!!

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Social Skill Deficits in Children with LD

• Weak Greeting and Conversational Skills
• Poor Social Predicting
• Inappropriate Presentation
• Problematic Conflict Resolution
• Reduced Affective Matching
• Social Self-Monitoring Failure
• Low Reciprocity Ability

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Social Skill Deficits in Children with LD

• Misguided Timing and Staging
• Poor Verbalization of Feelings
• Inaccurate Inference of Feelings

• Failure of Code Switching
• Lingo Dysfluency
• Poorly Regulated Humor

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Social Skill Deficits in Children with LD

• Inappropriate Topic Choice/Maintenance
• Weak Requesting Skill
• Poor Social Memory
• Unregulated Assertiveness
• Social Discomfort

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Socially Competent Kids Understand

• Relevance
• Responsiveness
• Timing and Staging

• Indirect Approach
• Feedback Cues
• Social Memory

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Socially Competent Kids Understand

• Resolution of Disagreements
• Verbal pragmatic Strategies
• Social Prediction

• Awareness of Image
• Affective Matching
• Recuperative Strategies

51
Social Skills and Peer Acceptance Disorders

• Social skill deficiency in early childhood the
  single best predictor of significant mental
  health problems in adulthood.