Successful Implementation of the Nurturing Parenting Programs Stephen J' Bavolek, Ph'D'

1
Successful Implementation of the Nurturing
Parenting Programs Stephen J. Bavolek,
Ph.D.
The Nurturing Parenting Programs Creating a
Caring World Through Nurturing
2
Philosopher

• Knowing my parenting beliefs and practices

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Scientist

• Understanding the differences between personal
  truths, beliefs, opinions, and facts.

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4
Clinician

• Having insight into the origins and value of my
  parenting beliefs.

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Practitioner

• Do I practice and teach healthy, proven parenting
  strategies and techniques?

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Structure of Nurturing Programs

• Nurturing Parenting Programs are designed to
  involve the entire family.

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Structure of Nurturing Programs

• Nurturing Parenting Programs are proven,
  evidence-based programs recognized by the
  National Registry for Evidence-based Programs and
  Practices (NREPP).

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Structure of Nurturing Programs

• Nurturing Parenting Programs are skill-focused,
  competency-based programs designed to correspond
  to the developmental age level of children.

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Structure of Nurturing Programs

• Nurturing Parenting Programs are also designed to
  meet the unique learning needs and cultures of
  families.

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Structure of Nurturing Programs

• Nurturing Parenting Programs emphasize the
  importance of parents learning new parenting
  skills and family members learning new and
  healthier ways to live together.

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Principles of Nurturing Parenting

• Human behavior is multidimensional
• The positive and negative impact of lifes past
  events shape our cognitive, emotional and
  neurological responses to current events.

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Principles of Nurturing Parenting

• Eckert Tolle
• Remember that your perception of the world is a
  reflection of your state of consciousness. You
  are not separate from it and there is not an
  objective world out there.
• Power of Now

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Principles of Nurturing Parenting

• Positive and negative life events carry both
  cognitive and affective cellular memories.
• Over time, repeated events create neural pathways.

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Principles of Nurturing Parenting

• Nurturing Parenting instruction is based on
  psycho-educational and cognitive-behavioral
  approaches of learning.

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Principles of Nurturing Parenting

• Nurturing Parenting embraces the theory of
  re-parenting.

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Principles of Nurturing Parenting

• Nurturing oneself as a man or woman is an
  important practice in nurturing children and
  others.

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Principles of Nurturing Parenting

• There is an essential difference between our
  Being, which constitutes the core elements of our
  identity, and our Doing, which constitutes our
  behavior.

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Principles of Nurturing Parenting

• Parenting is a role. There are three primary
  categories of roles
• Family
• Work/Career
• Community

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Principles of Nurturing Parenting

• A self-identity formed from role-identity places
  the burden of ones self-worth on others or on
  ones performance.

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Principles of Nurturing Parenting

• Self-awareness is a crucial aspect in Nurturing
  Parenting.
• The unexamined life is a life not worth living.
• 
  
  
  Socrates
• Insight leads to choices choices lead to
  changes changes lead to liberation.
• 
  
  James Hollis, The Middle Passage

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Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting

• The word Nurturing comes from the Latin word
  Nutritura which means to promote, nurse and
  nourish life.
• The energy of nurturing is both positive and
  negative.

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Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting

• Positive nurturing is nourishing the aspects of
  life we want.
• Negative nurturing is nourishing the aspects of
  life we dont want, but get anyway.

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Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting

• Positive nurturing is called Empathy. Empathy
  comes from the Greek word Empatheia, meaning
  feeling into.
• Empathy is the ability to perceive the subjective
  experience of another person.

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Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting

• Negative nurturing is called Abuse and Neglect.
• The word Abuse comes from the Latin word Abusus
  which means to mistreat cruel and harsh
  punishment.

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Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting

• Neglect comes from the Latin word Neglegere. Neg
  means not and legere means pick up.
• Neglectful parenting means not holding or
  touching children.

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Nurturing and Abuse/Neglect are two parenting
patterns that exist on a continuum of frequency
and intensity of zero to 10.

• Nurturing Parenting
• Frequency Always Frequent
  Sometimes Infrequent Never
• Intensity Very High High
  Average Low Not
  Present
• 10 9 8 7
  6 5 4 3 2 1
  0
• Abusive and Neglectful Parenting
• Frequency Never Infrequent
  Sometimes Frequent Always
• Intensity Not Present Low
  Average High Very High
• 0 1 2 3
  4 5 6 7 8 9
  10

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Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting

• Alice laughed, Theres no use in trying, she
  said. One cant believe in impossible things.
  I daresay you havent had much practice, said
  the queen. When I was your age I always did it
  for half an hour a day. Why sometimes Ive
  believed as many as six impossible things
  before breakfast.
• 
  - Lewis Carroll

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Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting

• The neurological networks and pathways that are
  created in childhood and influence behavior are
  the result of the frequency and intensity of the
  quality of life.

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Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting

• Events develop personality characteristics.
• Personality characteristics lead to personality
  traits.
• Personality traits lead to full blown
  personalities.

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Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting

• Abusive and neglecting parenting practices create
  diseased networks of anger, stress, etc.
• Two dysfunctional traits are formed
• The Perpetrator The Victim

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Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting

• Nurturing parenting practices reinforce a complex
  system of hormones and other chemical messengers
  in the brain that predisposes human beings to
  form and sustain strong attachments to other
  people.
• As a result of nurturing, two personality traits
  are reinforced
• The Nurturer The Nurtured

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There are approximately 157,776 hours of life in
the first 18 years of life

• Positive Negative Dysfunctional
  Hours
• 20 80
  126,221
• 30 70
  110,443
• 50 50
  78,888
• 70 30
  47,333
• 80 20
  31,555
• 90 10
  15,778
• 95 5
  7,889
• 99 1
  1,578
• 100 0
  0

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The Two WolvesNative American Wisdom
Family Development Resources, Inc. Publishers of
the Nurturing Parenting Programs Visit our
Website at www.nurturingparenting.com
34

• An elder Cherokee Native American was teaching
  his grandchild about life. He said to his
  grandchild

35

• A fight is going on inside of me and it is a
  terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

36

• One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow,
  regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt,
  resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride,
  superiority and ego.

37

• The other wolf stands for honor, joy, peace,
  love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility,
  kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy,
  generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

38

• The same fight is going on inside of you and
  inside of every other human being too.

39

• After thinking about it for a minute or two, the
  grandchild asked her grandfather, Which wolf
  will win?

40

• The old man leaned toward his grandchild and
  whispered
• The one you feed.

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Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting

• The events in life contribute to our self
  perception
• Self Concept
• Thoughts we have of our self.
• Self Esteem
• Feelings we have about our self.
• Self Worth
• The overall value we have for our self.

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Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting

• Cells carry an emotional memory in addition to
  the cognitive memory.
• The more you recall negative images of self, the
  more they become normalized, form neural
  pathways, and become the story of that person.

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Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting

• To change the brains pathways, people need to
  learn how to change their minds thinking.

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The Nurturing Parenting Philosophy of Change

• In emergence theory, individuals already possess
  a degree of the sought after traits.
• The practice of re-parenting entails interactive
  and experiential lessons that challenge existing
  thought and behavior patterns.

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The Nurturing Parenting Philosophy of Change

• True Nurturing Adapted
  Perception Cognition
• Nature
• 
  
  
• I EXPERIENCES SELF
  BELIEFS BEHAVIOR
• --
  -- --
  --
• Abuse Neglect Adapted
  Emotional Social Consensus

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The Nature of the I

• Biological systems predispose human beings to
  form and sustain enduring, nurturing
  relationships.

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The Nature of the I

• The presence or absence of a nurturing
  environment during childhood not only shapes a
  childs psychological and emotional development
  but also alters brain development in ways that
  profoundly affect long-term health.

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The Nature of the I

• Animal studies suggest that positive nurture may
  neutralize genetic vulnerabilities to depression
  and similar problems and perhaps even transform
  what would otherwise be genetic vulnerabilities
  into strengths.

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The Nature of the I

• The nature of brain development during
  adolescence creates a continuing need for a
  nurturing environment.

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The Nature of the I

• Human beings are biologically primed to seek
  moral and spiritual meaning, and nurturing
  relationships are a central foundation for a
  positive moral and spiritual development.

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The Nature of the I

• Nurturing relationships and a spiritual
  connection to the transcendent significantly
  improve physical and emotional health.

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Adapted or Acquired Self

• The intensity and frequency of positive and
  negative experiences promote the development of
  an adapted or acquired self.
• Positive Adapted Self Negative Adapted
  Self

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Beliefs entail

• perceptions.
• All the information we receive about ourselves
  and the world through our senses.

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Beliefs entail

• cognition.
• All the abstract conceptual processes that our
  brain uses to organize and make sense of our
  perceptions which include memories and
  unconscious thoughts.

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Beliefs entail

• emotions.
• Emotions help us establish the intensity and
  value of every perceptual and cognitive
  experience we have.

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Beliefs entail

• social consensus.
• The input we receive from others.

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Behavior is then defined as

• a conscious or unconscious expression of a vast
  system of cause and effect relationships between
  our true nature and the adapted beliefs of the
  Self.

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Parenting Constructs

• The following constructs identify the known
  parenting practices and child rearing behaviors
  of abusive and neglecting parents.
• The Nurturing Parenting Programs are designed to
  treat and prevent these practices from occurring.

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Construct A Inappropriate Parental
Expectations

• Beginning very early in the infants life,
  abusive parents tend to inaccurately perceive the
  skills and abilities of their children.

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Construct B Parental Lack of an Empathic
Awareness of Childrens Needs

• Empathic parents are sensitive to their children
  and create an environment that is conducive to
  promoting childrens emotional, intellectual,
  physical, social, spiritual, and creative growth.
  

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Construct C Strong Belief in the Use of
Corporal Punishment

• Physical punishment is generally the preferred
  means of discipline used by abusive parents.
  Throughout history, the use of corporal
  punishment has been well documented.

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Corporal Punishment Why Parents Hit Their
Children

• Parents hit children to teach them right from
  wrong.
• Parents hit children as a form of punishment.
• Parents hit children based on religious writings.
  
• Parents hit children as an act of love.
• Parents hit children because its a cultural
  practice.
• Parents hit children to prepare them for the real
  world.

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Construct D Parent-Child Role Reversal

• Parent-child role reversal is an interchanging of
  traditional role behaviors between a parent and
  child, so that the child adopts some of the
  behaviors traditionally associated with parents.

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Construct E Oppressing Childrens Power and
Independence

• When childrens power and independence are
  oppressed, they are not allowed to challenge, to
  voice opinions, or to have choices, but rather
  are told to do what they are told to do without
  question.

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Construct E Oppressing Childrens Power and
Independence

• This demand for compliance to parental authority
  has many limitations
• Obedience breeds powerlessness.
• Obedience breeds inadequacy.
• Obedience also breeds rebelliousness.
• Obedience breeds compliance to all.
• Obedience breeds followers, not leaders.

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Morals and Values of Nurturing Parenting

• To advance the efforts of the treatment and
  prevention of dysfunctional and abusive parenting
  practices, the moral beliefs of caring for ones
  self, for others, for animals, and for the
  environment must be valued.

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Value One

• A positive self-worth is critical to the ability
  to nurture ones self, others, animals, and the
  environment. Parents and children who treat
  themselves with respect will in turn treat others
  with respect.

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Value Two

• Empathy forms the foundation of Nurturing
  Parenting. Empathy is the ability to be aware of
  the needs of others, and to take positive actions
  on the behalf of others. Developing a sense of
  empathy is the cornerstone of the Nurturing
  Parenting Programs.

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Value Three

• Children need to be empowered to make good
  choices and wise decisions through the use of
  their strong will and personal power. Developing
  a strong sense of personal power is a necessary
  element in becoming a nurturing individual.

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Value Four

• Discipline is the practice of teaching children
  to be respectful, cooperative, and contributing
  members to a family and society. Parental
  practices of discipline must model the sought
  after behavior of the child.

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Value Five

• Humor, laughter, and fun promote happiness in
  families, an optimistic view of life, and outlet
  for stress reduction, and the chance to make
  living together as a family enjoyable. A happy
  child is an easier child to parent than a child
  with a negative, hostile attitude.

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Value One Positive Self-Worth

• 1. Appropriate Developmental Expectations
• 2. Development Stages
• 3. Childrens Brain Development
• 4. Teens Brain Development
• 5. Differences Between the Male Female Brain
• 6. Ten Ways to Improve a Childs Self-Worth

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Value Two Empathy

• 1. Defining Empathy
• 2. Needs and Behavior
• 3. Basic Needs of Individuals and Spoiling
  Children
• 4. Establishing Nurturing Routines
• 6. Personal Touch History and Types of Touch
• 7. Body Map
• 8. Typical Feelings of Discomfort
• 9. Relationship Between Alcohol, Anger and
  Abuse
• 10. Recognizing and Handling Anger
• 11. Recognizing and Handling Stress
• 12. Strategies to Reduce Childrens Stress

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Value Three Personal Power

• 1. Definition of Personal Power and Control
• 2. Understanding Power Struggles
• 3. Empowerment and the Strong-Willed Child.
• 4. Obedience, Responsibility and Cooperation
• 5. Activities to Empower Children.
• 6. Taking Responsibility No Blaming
• 7. Criticism and Confrontation
• 8. Brainstorming
• 9. Problem Solving and Decision Making
• 10. Negotiating and Compromising
• 11. Positive, Negative and Neutral Styles of
  Communication

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Value Four Discipline

• 1. Discipline, Punishment, Rewards
• 2. Behavior Management, Modification, and
• Encouragement
• 3. Techniques to Manage Behavior
• 4. Techniques to Encourage Behavior (REWARDS)
• 5. Techniques to Modify Behavior (PUNISHMENTS)

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Value Five Humor, Laughter, Fun

• A Happy Family Culture
• Suggestions for Fun Family Activities
• Parenting Skills for Humor
• Benefits of Humor, Laughter and Fun

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Home-Based Programs (FORMAT)Forty-Eight, 90
minute sessions meet one day a week for 48
consecutive weeks

• The following is consistent in each home session
• Welcome and Check-In (10 minutes)
• Parenting Skills and Self Nurturing Activities
  (50 minutes)
• Family Nurturing Time (20 minutes)
• Home Practice Assignment (5 minutes)
• Family Hug (5 minutes)

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Implementing the HOME-BASED Nurturing Programs

• Keep consistent length and schedules of home
  visits.
• Use appropriate activities for infants, toddlers
  and preschoolers during Family Nurturing Time.
• The parent sessions are arranged numerically in a
  developmental learning order that is, many
  concepts serve as prerequisite knowledge to other
  more advanced knowledge and skills.

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Implementing the HOME-BASED Nurturing Programs

• What happens to the children when you work with
  the parents?
• Bring a lot of toys for the children to play
  with.
• With infants, you may just want the mother to
  hold the child, or place the child in a crib,
  swing, play pen, etc. nearby where you both are
  talking.
• Allow the child to sit in on your discussions.
  The child may soon learn hed rather be doing
  something else.
• Find alternate child care for the one hour
  (neighbor, relative, etc.).

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Implementing the HOME-BASED Nurturing Programs

• Use the Parent Handbook.
• Use the Audio-Visual Presentations.
• Keeping a Weekly Family Log.
• The Home Practice Assignment is designed to give
  parents practice in trying the concepts that are
  presented during the Nurturing Program.
• At the end of each home visit, you and all the
  family members close the time with a family hug.

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Implementing the HOME-BASED Nurturing Programs

• Complete one Family Record Form and Family
  Schedule and Performance Chart.
• We recommend that you use the Adult-Adolescent
  Parenting Inventory (AAPI-2), Nurturing Quiz
  (NQ), Family Social History Questionnaire (FSHQ),
  Nurturing Skills Competency Scale (NSCS), and the
  Parenting Attitudes Regarding Teens Inventory
  (PARTI) for your pretest and posttest measures.

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Group-Based Programs (FORMAT)Parents Children
5-11 Years 2 ½ hours

• Parents Group (20 minutes)
  Childrens Group 5-11 Years
• Welcome
  Hello Time
• Check-In
  Circle Time
• Parenting Lesson
  Art/Games
• Family Nurturing Time (20 minutes)
• Parents Group (20 minutes)
  Childrens Group 5-11 Years
• Parenting/Self Lesson
  Puppet Power Closing
  Praise Circle
  Art/Games
• 
  Learning Center
• 
  Good-Bye Song

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Group-Based Programs (FORMAT)Parents
Adolescents 12-18 Years 3 hours

• Parents Group (70 minutes) Teens Group 12-18
  Years (70 minutes)
• Welcome
  Welcome
• Check-In
  Check-In
• Parenting Lesson
  Teen Development Lesson
• Family Nurturing Time (20 minutes)
• Parents and Teens Together (90 minutes)
• Discussion, Activities and Role-Playing
• Closing Praise Circle

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Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs

• Pre-Session Assurances
• Contact the family prior to the start of the
  first session preferably on the day before.
  Remind them of the time, date, and place of the
  meeting.
• Call to make sure the training site will be open.
• Make sure you have all the materials for the
  session.
• Arrive an hour early to arrange the rooms, get
  coffee/tea going. Make sure the childrens
  learning centers are arranged.\
• Make sure you know how to operate the A/V
  equipment.

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Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs

• How to Prepare to Facilitate the Group Session
• Understand the concepts of the session.
• Understand the activity to be facilitated.
• Understand your role as co-facilitator.
• Prepare the environment.
• RELAX and have fun with it!

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Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs

• When the Group Session Begins
• Introduce yourself and each facilitator to the
  families as they enter.
• Tour the facility and show parents and children
  where the groups will be held.
• Have name tags ready for the first session.
• Get children involved in the learning centers if
  they arrive early before the formal session
  begins.
• Begin on time. Late comers will work harder to
  get their on time if you start on time.

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Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs

• When the Group Session Begins (continued)
• Place chairs in a circle. Leave no vacant chairs
  in the circle.
• Welcome everyone and then them for sharing this
  time with you.
• Review the orientation of the program to the
  parents located in Activities Manuals and Parent
  Handbooks.
• Keep the group going. Be prepared and flow with
  the materials.

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Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs

• How to Succeed with the Nurturing Programs
• Be prepared.
• Provide leadership.
• Begin and end on time.
• Have snacks and beverages.
• Share family phone numbers.
• Share facilitator phone numbers.
• Contact family who missed session and make up
  session.
• No new families after the second week of the
  program.

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Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs

• How to Succeed with the Nurturing Programs
  (continued)
• 9. Establish a nurturing group
• Use confrontation.
• Use praise.
• Praise group for attending
• Establish family/group rules.
• Promote respect and dignity.
• Cut no one down.
• Dont take sides.
• Make no snide remarks.

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Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs

• How to Succeed with the Nurturing Programs
  (continued)
• Make contact with family case worker to review
  progress.
• Meet weekly as a team to review progress parents
  and children are making.
• For Teen Parents
• Offer free goodies, diapers, stuffed animals,
  etc.
• Do home visits with grandparents and teens
  together, when appropriate.

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Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs

• Selecting Families
• Decide what to do with families when all members
  cant or wont attend.
• Screen for alcohol and drug dependency.
• Screen for mental illness.
• Low functioning parents or parents with
  intellectual handicaps.
• Families with children in foster care.
• Decide what to do with families when all members
  cant or wont attend.
• Parents living with parents. Involve
  grandparents?
• Screen for sexual abuse.

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Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs

• How to Get Families to Attend
• Meet with reluctant person(s) on their turf
  (home, park, lunch).
• Contract with person/family to attend the first
  three sessions. After three sessions, the family
  is hooked.
• Schedule a convenient training time.
• Help arrange transportation.
• Choose comfortable training site.
• Do NOT call it a child abuse prevention program!

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Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs

• How to Get Families to Attend (continued)
• Put contingency on attendance
• Child placed or returned from foster care
• Child removed from home with relative.
• Get friends and relatives to put pressure on
  family to attend
• Keep fee for attendance low or free.
• Make it sound like you have a program with a long
  waiting list and theyre lucky to be selected.
• Send a thank you note to them telling them how
  much you enjoyed meeting them and that you look
  forward to your time together.

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Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs

• How to Get Families to Attend (continued)
• Get court order to attend.
• Have families invite neighbor families or friends
  to also attend.
• For teen parents
• Get high school credit
• Let boyfriend and children attend
• Keep your conviction high.

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Program FacilitatorsPeople Who Will Implement
the Nurturing Program

• Four facilitators are needed to run group-based
  programs two for the children or adolescent
  groups two for the parent group. (One
  facilitator is needed to conduct a home visit.)

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Program FacilitatorsPeople Who Will Implement
the Nurturing Program

• Facilitators need to be
• Empathic
• Emotionally stable
• Accepting of their own personal background
• Dependable

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97
Program FacilitatorsPeople Who Will Implement
the Nurturing Program

• Facilitators need to have
• Good self-esteem and self-concept.
• Knowledge and acceptance of alternatives to
  corporal punishment.
• Skills in behavior management.
• Appropriate expectations of preschoolers,
  children, and adolescents.
• The ability to act as a professional (there to
  help facilitate growth in others not primarily
  self).
• The ability to conduct group process.
• The ability to act as a team.
• Self-assurance to run activities with music,
  play, and art

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Program FacilitatorsPeople Who Will Implement
the Nurturing Program

• Each time you run an activity, preparing for and
  conducting the next activity becomes a little bit
  easier.
• You'll develop your own style and special
  techniques as you go along.
• You have your co-facilitators to help and the
  participants to appreciate your work.
• Youll do just great!