Title: Successful Implementation of the Nurturing Parenting Programs Stephen J' Bavolek, Ph'D'
1Successful Implementation of the Nurturing
Parenting Programs Stephen J. Bavolek,
Ph.D.
The Nurturing Parenting Programs Creating a
Caring World Through Nurturing
2Philosopher
- Knowing my parenting beliefs and practices
Workbook pg. 1
3Scientist
- Understanding the differences between personal
truths, beliefs, opinions, and facts.
Workbook pg. 1
4Clinician
- Having insight into the origins and value of my
parenting beliefs.
Workbook pg. 1
5Practitioner
- Do I practice and teach healthy, proven parenting
strategies and techniques?
Workbook pg. 1
6Structure of Nurturing Programs
- Nurturing Parenting Programs are designed to
involve the entire family.
Workbook pg. 2
7Structure of Nurturing Programs
- Nurturing Parenting Programs are proven,
evidence-based programs recognized by the
National Registry for Evidence-based Programs and
Practices (NREPP).
Workbook pg. 2
8Structure of Nurturing Programs
- Nurturing Parenting Programs are skill-focused,
competency-based programs designed to correspond
to the developmental age level of children.
Workbook pg. 2
9Structure of Nurturing Programs
- Nurturing Parenting Programs are also designed to
meet the unique learning needs and cultures of
families.
Workbook pg. 2
10Structure of Nurturing Programs
- Nurturing Parenting Programs emphasize the
importance of parents learning new parenting
skills and family members learning new and
healthier ways to live together.
Workbook pg. 2
11Principles of Nurturing Parenting
- Human behavior is multidimensional
- The positive and negative impact of lifes past
events shape our cognitive, emotional and
neurological responses to current events.
Workbook pg. 2
12Principles of Nurturing Parenting
- Eckert Tolle
- Remember that your perception of the world is a
reflection of your state of consciousness. You
are not separate from it and there is not an
objective world out there. - Power of Now
13Principles of Nurturing Parenting
- Positive and negative life events carry both
cognitive and affective cellular memories. - Over time, repeated events create neural pathways.
Workbook pg. 2-3
14Principles of Nurturing Parenting
- Nurturing Parenting instruction is based on
psycho-educational and cognitive-behavioral
approaches of learning.
Workbook pg. 2-3
15Principles of Nurturing Parenting
- Nurturing Parenting embraces the theory of
re-parenting.
Workbook pg. 2-3
16Principles of Nurturing Parenting
- Nurturing oneself as a man or woman is an
important practice in nurturing children and
others.
Workbook pg. 2-3
17Principles of Nurturing Parenting
- There is an essential difference between our
Being, which constitutes the core elements of our
identity, and our Doing, which constitutes our
behavior.
Workbook pg. 2-3
18Principles of Nurturing Parenting
- Parenting is a role. There are three primary
categories of roles - Family
- Work/Career
- Community
Workbook pg. 2-3
19Principles of Nurturing Parenting
- A self-identity formed from role-identity places
the burden of ones self-worth on others or on
ones performance.
Workbook pg. 2-3
20Principles of Nurturing Parenting
- Self-awareness is a crucial aspect in Nurturing
Parenting. - The unexamined life is a life not worth living.
-
Socrates - Insight leads to choices choices lead to
changes changes lead to liberation. -
James Hollis, The Middle Passage
Workbook pg. 2-3
21Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting
- The word Nurturing comes from the Latin word
Nutritura which means to promote, nurse and
nourish life. - The energy of nurturing is both positive and
negative.
Workbook pg. 3
22Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting
- Positive nurturing is nourishing the aspects of
life we want. - Negative nurturing is nourishing the aspects of
life we dont want, but get anyway.
Workbook pg. 4
23Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting
- Positive nurturing is called Empathy. Empathy
comes from the Greek word Empatheia, meaning
feeling into. - Empathy is the ability to perceive the subjective
experience of another person.
Workbook pg. 4
24Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting
- Negative nurturing is called Abuse and Neglect.
- The word Abuse comes from the Latin word Abusus
which means to mistreat cruel and harsh
punishment.
Workbook pg. 4
25Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting
- Neglect comes from the Latin word Neglegere. Neg
means not and legere means pick up. - Neglectful parenting means not holding or
touching children.
Workbook pg. 4
26Nurturing and Abuse/Neglect are two parenting
patterns that exist on a continuum of frequency
and intensity of zero to 10.
- Nurturing Parenting
- Frequency Always Frequent
Sometimes Infrequent Never - Intensity Very High High
Average Low Not
Present - 10 9 8 7
6 5 4 3 2 1
0 - Abusive and Neglectful Parenting
- Frequency Never Infrequent
Sometimes Frequent Always - Intensity Not Present Low
Average High Very High - 0 1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9
10
Workbook pg. 4
27Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting
- Alice laughed, Theres no use in trying, she
said. One cant believe in impossible things.
I daresay you havent had much practice, said
the queen. When I was your age I always did it
for half an hour a day. Why sometimes Ive
believed as many as six impossible things
before breakfast. -
- Lewis Carroll
28Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting
- The neurological networks and pathways that are
created in childhood and influence behavior are
the result of the frequency and intensity of the
quality of life.
Workbook pg. 4
29Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting
- Events develop personality characteristics.
- Personality characteristics lead to personality
traits. - Personality traits lead to full blown
personalities.
Workbook pg. 5
30Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting
- Abusive and neglecting parenting practices create
diseased networks of anger, stress, etc. - Two dysfunctional traits are formed
- The Perpetrator The Victim
Workbook pg. 5
31Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting
- Nurturing parenting practices reinforce a complex
system of hormones and other chemical messengers
in the brain that predisposes human beings to
form and sustain strong attachments to other
people. - As a result of nurturing, two personality traits
are reinforced - The Nurturer The Nurtured
Workbook pg. 4
32There are approximately 157,776 hours of life in
the first 18 years of life
- Positive Negative Dysfunctional
Hours -
- 20 80
126,221 - 30 70
110,443 - 50 50
78,888 - 70 30
47,333 - 80 20
31,555 - 90 10
15,778 - 95 5
7,889 - 99 1
1,578 - 100 0
0
Workbook pg. 5
33The Two WolvesNative American Wisdom
Family Development Resources, Inc. Publishers of
the Nurturing Parenting Programs Visit our
Website at www.nurturingparenting.com
34- An elder Cherokee Native American was teaching
his grandchild about life. He said to his
grandchild
35- A fight is going on inside of me and it is a
terrible fight and it is between two wolves.
36- One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow,
regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt,
resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride,
superiority and ego.
37- The other wolf stands for honor, joy, peace,
love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility,
kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy,
generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
38- The same fight is going on inside of you and
inside of every other human being too.
39- After thinking about it for a minute or two, the
grandchild asked her grandfather, Which wolf
will win?
40- The old man leaned toward his grandchild and
whispered - The one you feed.
41Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting
- The events in life contribute to our self
perception - Self Concept
- Thoughts we have of our self.
- Self Esteem
- Feelings we have about our self.
- Self Worth
- The overall value we have for our self.
Workbook pg. 6
42Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting
- Cells carry an emotional memory in addition to
the cognitive memory. - The more you recall negative images of self, the
more they become normalized, form neural
pathways, and become the story of that person.
Workbook pg. 6
43Philosophy of Nurturing Parenting
- To change the brains pathways, people need to
learn how to change their minds thinking.
Workbook pg. 6
44The Nurturing Parenting Philosophy of Change
- In emergence theory, individuals already possess
a degree of the sought after traits. - The practice of re-parenting entails interactive
and experiential lessons that challenge existing
thought and behavior patterns.
Workbook pg. 7
45The Nurturing Parenting Philosophy of Change
-
- True Nurturing Adapted
Perception Cognition - Nature
-
- I EXPERIENCES SELF
BELIEFS BEHAVIOR - --
-- --
-- -
- Abuse Neglect Adapted
Emotional Social Consensus -
Workbook pg. 7
46The Nature of the I
- Biological systems predispose human beings to
form and sustain enduring, nurturing
relationships.
Workbook pg. 8
47The Nature of the I
- The presence or absence of a nurturing
environment during childhood not only shapes a
childs psychological and emotional development
but also alters brain development in ways that
profoundly affect long-term health.
Workbook pg. 8
48The Nature of the I
- Animal studies suggest that positive nurture may
neutralize genetic vulnerabilities to depression
and similar problems and perhaps even transform
what would otherwise be genetic vulnerabilities
into strengths.
Workbook pg. 8
49The Nature of the I
- The nature of brain development during
adolescence creates a continuing need for a
nurturing environment.
Workbook pg. 8
50The Nature of the I
- Human beings are biologically primed to seek
moral and spiritual meaning, and nurturing
relationships are a central foundation for a
positive moral and spiritual development.
Workbook pg. 8
51The Nature of the I
- Nurturing relationships and a spiritual
connection to the transcendent significantly
improve physical and emotional health.
Workbook pg. 8
52Adapted or Acquired Self
- The intensity and frequency of positive and
negative experiences promote the development of
an adapted or acquired self. - Positive Adapted Self Negative Adapted
Self
Workbook pg. 7-8
53Beliefs entail
- perceptions.
- All the information we receive about ourselves
and the world through our senses.
Workbook pg. 8
54Beliefs entail
- cognition.
- All the abstract conceptual processes that our
brain uses to organize and make sense of our
perceptions which include memories and
unconscious thoughts.
Workbook pg. 8
55Beliefs entail
- emotions.
- Emotions help us establish the intensity and
value of every perceptual and cognitive
experience we have.
Workbook pg. 9
56Beliefs entail
- social consensus.
- The input we receive from others.
Workbook pg. 9
57Behavior is then defined as
- a conscious or unconscious expression of a vast
system of cause and effect relationships between
our true nature and the adapted beliefs of the
Self.
Workbook pg. 9
58Parenting Constructs
- The following constructs identify the known
parenting practices and child rearing behaviors
of abusive and neglecting parents. - The Nurturing Parenting Programs are designed to
treat and prevent these practices from occurring.
Workbook pg. 10
59Construct A Inappropriate Parental
Expectations
- Beginning very early in the infants life,
abusive parents tend to inaccurately perceive the
skills and abilities of their children.
Workbook pg. 10
60Construct B Parental Lack of an Empathic
Awareness of Childrens Needs
- Empathic parents are sensitive to their children
and create an environment that is conducive to
promoting childrens emotional, intellectual,
physical, social, spiritual, and creative growth.
Workbook pg. 10
61Construct C Strong Belief in the Use of
Corporal Punishment
- Physical punishment is generally the preferred
means of discipline used by abusive parents.
Throughout history, the use of corporal
punishment has been well documented.
Workbook pg. 11
62Corporal Punishment Why Parents Hit Their
Children
- Parents hit children to teach them right from
wrong. - Parents hit children as a form of punishment.
- Parents hit children based on religious writings.
- Parents hit children as an act of love.
- Parents hit children because its a cultural
practice. - Parents hit children to prepare them for the real
world.
Workbook pgs. 29-30
63Construct D Parent-Child Role Reversal
- Parent-child role reversal is an interchanging of
traditional role behaviors between a parent and
child, so that the child adopts some of the
behaviors traditionally associated with parents.
Workbook pg. 12
64Construct E Oppressing Childrens Power and
Independence
- When childrens power and independence are
oppressed, they are not allowed to challenge, to
voice opinions, or to have choices, but rather
are told to do what they are told to do without
question.
Workbook pg. 12
65Construct E Oppressing Childrens Power and
Independence
- This demand for compliance to parental authority
has many limitations - Obedience breeds powerlessness.
- Obedience breeds inadequacy.
- Obedience also breeds rebelliousness.
- Obedience breeds compliance to all.
- Obedience breeds followers, not leaders.
Workbook pg. 12
66Morals and Values of Nurturing Parenting
- To advance the efforts of the treatment and
prevention of dysfunctional and abusive parenting
practices, the moral beliefs of caring for ones
self, for others, for animals, and for the
environment must be valued.
Workbook pg. 14
67Value One
- A positive self-worth is critical to the ability
to nurture ones self, others, animals, and the
environment. Parents and children who treat
themselves with respect will in turn treat others
with respect.
Workbook pg. 15
68Value Two
- Empathy forms the foundation of Nurturing
Parenting. Empathy is the ability to be aware of
the needs of others, and to take positive actions
on the behalf of others. Developing a sense of
empathy is the cornerstone of the Nurturing
Parenting Programs.
Workbook pg. 20
69Value Three
- Children need to be empowered to make good
choices and wise decisions through the use of
their strong will and personal power. Developing
a strong sense of personal power is a necessary
element in becoming a nurturing individual.
Workbook pg. 24
70Value Four
- Discipline is the practice of teaching children
to be respectful, cooperative, and contributing
members to a family and society. Parental
practices of discipline must model the sought
after behavior of the child.
Workbook pg. 27
71Value Five
- Humor, laughter, and fun promote happiness in
families, an optimistic view of life, and outlet
for stress reduction, and the chance to make
living together as a family enjoyable. A happy
child is an easier child to parent than a child
with a negative, hostile attitude.
Workbook pg. 31
72Value One Positive Self-Worth
- 1. Appropriate Developmental Expectations
- 2. Development Stages
- 3. Childrens Brain Development
- 4. Teens Brain Development
- 5. Differences Between the Male Female Brain
- 6. Ten Ways to Improve a Childs Self-Worth
Workbook pgs. 15-19
73Value Two Empathy
- 1. Defining Empathy
- 2. Needs and Behavior
- 3. Basic Needs of Individuals and Spoiling
Children - 4. Establishing Nurturing Routines
- 6. Personal Touch History and Types of Touch
- 7. Body Map
- 8. Typical Feelings of Discomfort
- 9. Relationship Between Alcohol, Anger and
Abuse - 10. Recognizing and Handling Anger
- 11. Recognizing and Handling Stress
- 12. Strategies to Reduce Childrens Stress
Workbook pgs. 20-23
74Value Three Personal Power
- 1. Definition of Personal Power and Control
- 2. Understanding Power Struggles
- 3. Empowerment and the Strong-Willed Child.
- 4. Obedience, Responsibility and Cooperation
- 5. Activities to Empower Children.
- 6. Taking Responsibility No Blaming
- 7. Criticism and Confrontation
- 8. Brainstorming
- 9. Problem Solving and Decision Making
- 10. Negotiating and Compromising
- 11. Positive, Negative and Neutral Styles of
Communication
Workbook pgs. 24-26
75Value Four Discipline
- 1. Discipline, Punishment, Rewards
- 2. Behavior Management, Modification, and
- Encouragement
- 3. Techniques to Manage Behavior
- 4. Techniques to Encourage Behavior (REWARDS)
- 5. Techniques to Modify Behavior (PUNISHMENTS)
Workbook pgs. 27-30
76Value Five Humor, Laughter, Fun
- A Happy Family Culture
- Suggestions for Fun Family Activities
- Parenting Skills for Humor
- Benefits of Humor, Laughter and Fun
Workbook pgs. 31-33
77Home-Based Programs (FORMAT)Forty-Eight, 90
minute sessions meet one day a week for 48
consecutive weeks
- The following is consistent in each home session
- Welcome and Check-In (10 minutes)
- Parenting Skills and Self Nurturing Activities
(50 minutes) - Family Nurturing Time (20 minutes)
- Home Practice Assignment (5 minutes)
- Family Hug (5 minutes)
Workbook pgs. 37-38
78Implementing the HOME-BASED Nurturing Programs
- Keep consistent length and schedules of home
visits. - Use appropriate activities for infants, toddlers
and preschoolers during Family Nurturing Time. - The parent sessions are arranged numerically in a
developmental learning order that is, many
concepts serve as prerequisite knowledge to other
more advanced knowledge and skills.
Workbook pgs. 37-38
79Implementing the HOME-BASED Nurturing Programs
- What happens to the children when you work with
the parents? - Bring a lot of toys for the children to play
with. - With infants, you may just want the mother to
hold the child, or place the child in a crib,
swing, play pen, etc. nearby where you both are
talking. - Allow the child to sit in on your discussions.
The child may soon learn hed rather be doing
something else. - Find alternate child care for the one hour
(neighbor, relative, etc.).
Workbook pg. 38
80Implementing the HOME-BASED Nurturing Programs
- Use the Parent Handbook.
- Use the Audio-Visual Presentations.
- Keeping a Weekly Family Log.
- The Home Practice Assignment is designed to give
parents practice in trying the concepts that are
presented during the Nurturing Program. - At the end of each home visit, you and all the
family members close the time with a family hug.
Workbook pg. 38
81Implementing the HOME-BASED Nurturing Programs
- Complete one Family Record Form and Family
Schedule and Performance Chart. - We recommend that you use the Adult-Adolescent
Parenting Inventory (AAPI-2), Nurturing Quiz
(NQ), Family Social History Questionnaire (FSHQ),
Nurturing Skills Competency Scale (NSCS), and the
Parenting Attitudes Regarding Teens Inventory
(PARTI) for your pretest and posttest measures.
Workbook pg. 38
82Group-Based Programs (FORMAT)Parents Children
5-11 Years 2 ½ hours
- Parents Group (20 minutes)
Childrens Group 5-11 Years - Welcome
Hello Time - Check-In
Circle Time - Parenting Lesson
Art/Games - Family Nurturing Time (20 minutes)
- Parents Group (20 minutes)
Childrens Group 5-11 Years - Parenting/Self Lesson
Puppet Power Closing
Praise Circle
Art/Games -
Learning Center -
Good-Bye Song
Workbook pgs. 39-44
83Group-Based Programs (FORMAT)Parents
Adolescents 12-18 Years 3 hours
- Parents Group (70 minutes) Teens Group 12-18
Years (70 minutes) - Welcome
Welcome - Check-In
Check-In - Parenting Lesson
Teen Development Lesson - Family Nurturing Time (20 minutes)
- Parents and Teens Together (90 minutes)
- Discussion, Activities and Role-Playing
- Closing Praise Circle
Workbook pgs. 39-44
84Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs
- Pre-Session Assurances
- Contact the family prior to the start of the
first session preferably on the day before.
Remind them of the time, date, and place of the
meeting. - Call to make sure the training site will be open.
- Make sure you have all the materials for the
session. - Arrive an hour early to arrange the rooms, get
coffee/tea going. Make sure the childrens
learning centers are arranged.\ - Make sure you know how to operate the A/V
equipment.
Workbook pg. 40
85Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs
- How to Prepare to Facilitate the Group Session
- Understand the concepts of the session.
- Understand the activity to be facilitated.
- Understand your role as co-facilitator.
- Prepare the environment.
- RELAX and have fun with it!
Workbook pgs. 40-41
86Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs
- When the Group Session Begins
- Introduce yourself and each facilitator to the
families as they enter. - Tour the facility and show parents and children
where the groups will be held. - Have name tags ready for the first session.
- Get children involved in the learning centers if
they arrive early before the formal session
begins. - Begin on time. Late comers will work harder to
get their on time if you start on time.
Workbook pg. 41
87Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs
- When the Group Session Begins (continued)
- Place chairs in a circle. Leave no vacant chairs
in the circle. - Welcome everyone and then them for sharing this
time with you. - Review the orientation of the program to the
parents located in Activities Manuals and Parent
Handbooks. - Keep the group going. Be prepared and flow with
the materials.
Workbook pg. 41
88Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs
- How to Succeed with the Nurturing Programs
- Be prepared.
- Provide leadership.
- Begin and end on time.
- Have snacks and beverages.
- Share family phone numbers.
- Share facilitator phone numbers.
- Contact family who missed session and make up
session. - No new families after the second week of the
program.
Workbook pg. 41
89Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs
- How to Succeed with the Nurturing Programs
(continued) - 9. Establish a nurturing group
- Use confrontation.
- Use praise.
- Praise group for attending
- Establish family/group rules.
- Promote respect and dignity.
- Cut no one down.
- Dont take sides.
- Make no snide remarks.
Workbook pg. 42
90Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs
- How to Succeed with the Nurturing Programs
(continued) - Make contact with family case worker to review
progress. - Meet weekly as a team to review progress parents
and children are making. - For Teen Parents
- Offer free goodies, diapers, stuffed animals,
etc. - Do home visits with grandparents and teens
together, when appropriate.
Workbook pg. 42
91Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs
- Selecting Families
- Decide what to do with families when all members
cant or wont attend. - Screen for alcohol and drug dependency.
- Screen for mental illness.
- Low functioning parents or parents with
intellectual handicaps. - Families with children in foster care.
- Decide what to do with families when all members
cant or wont attend. - Parents living with parents. Involve
grandparents? - Screen for sexual abuse.
Workbook pgs. 42-43
92Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs
- How to Get Families to Attend
- Meet with reluctant person(s) on their turf
(home, park, lunch). - Contract with person/family to attend the first
three sessions. After three sessions, the family
is hooked. - Schedule a convenient training time.
- Help arrange transportation.
- Choose comfortable training site.
- Do NOT call it a child abuse prevention program!
Workbook pg. 43
93Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs
- How to Get Families to Attend (continued)
- Put contingency on attendance
- Child placed or returned from foster care
- Child removed from home with relative.
- Get friends and relatives to put pressure on
family to attend - Keep fee for attendance low or free.
- Make it sound like you have a program with a long
waiting list and theyre lucky to be selected. - Send a thank you note to them telling them how
much you enjoyed meeting them and that you look
forward to your time together.
Workbook pg. 43
94Implementing the GROUP-BASED Nurturing Programs
- How to Get Families to Attend (continued)
- Get court order to attend.
- Have families invite neighbor families or friends
to also attend. - For teen parents
- Get high school credit
- Let boyfriend and children attend
- Keep your conviction high.
Workbook pg. 43
95Program FacilitatorsPeople Who Will Implement
the Nurturing Program
- Four facilitators are needed to run group-based
programs two for the children or adolescent
groups two for the parent group. (One
facilitator is needed to conduct a home visit.)
Workbook pg. 43
96Program FacilitatorsPeople Who Will Implement
the Nurturing Program
- Facilitators need to be
- Empathic
- Emotionally stable
- Accepting of their own personal background
- Dependable
Workbook pg. 44
97Program FacilitatorsPeople Who Will Implement
the Nurturing Program
- Facilitators need to have
- Good self-esteem and self-concept.
- Knowledge and acceptance of alternatives to
corporal punishment. - Skills in behavior management.
- Appropriate expectations of preschoolers,
children, and adolescents. - The ability to act as a professional (there to
help facilitate growth in others not primarily
self). - The ability to conduct group process.
- The ability to act as a team.
- Self-assurance to run activities with music,
play, and art
Workbook pg. 44
98Program FacilitatorsPeople Who Will Implement
the Nurturing Program
- Each time you run an activity, preparing for and
conducting the next activity becomes a little bit
easier. - You'll develop your own style and special
techniques as you go along. - You have your co-facilitators to help and the
participants to appreciate your work. - Youll do just great!