Sexuality

1
Chapter 11

• Sexuality

2
Introduction The Toll Gate

• For those cultures that embrace the romantic
  ideal, sexual attraction provides the basis for
  forming an intimate relationship.
• Inhibitions surrounding sex hamper our ability to
  establish a sexual identity, and prevent us from
  fully enjoying our sexual relationships.

3
Forming a Sexual Identity

• Sexual identity refers to how a person perceives
  himself or herself as a sexual being.
• Our sexual identity encompasses our sexual
  orientation, our body image, our sexual values,
  and our preferred ways of achieving sexual
  arousal.

4
Guilt Over Sexual Thoughts and Feelings

• Many of us have learned that certain sexual
  thoughts and feelings are bad.
• All thoughts and feelings, including sexual ones,
  are important messages to us about our sexual
  values.
• Will my actions hurt another person or myself?
• Will my behavior limit another persons freedom?
• Will my actions exploit another persons rights?
• Are my actions consistent with my commitments?

5
Developing Sexual Values

• When we are children, we learn to accept without
  question the values of the adults close to us.
• Sexual values that promote self-respect as well
  as respect for our partner are the most
  advantageous.

6
Developing Sexual Values

• Some values for consideration
• Sexuality is a basic part of life and is not to
  be considered evil
• Sexuality is a positive and integral part of our
  personality
• It is our responsibility to choose how we will
  express our sexuality
• A sexual relationship involves trust, respect,
  and concern
• An intimate relationship is the most satisfying
  way to express our sexuality

7
Sex and Intimacy Parking on Lovers Lane

• Contemporary couples often become sexually
  intimate before they are emotionally intimate.
• Early sexual intimacy puts partners into the
  position of hoping to get along with the person
  with whom they are sleeping.

8
The Role of Technique in Sexual Enjoyment

• Technique can get in the way, when it takes the
  focus off intimacy with ones partner and onto
  performance.
• Still, it helps to know what youre doing. Some
  handy techniques to know are
• Kegel exercises
• Woman superior position
• Lateral position
• Sensate focus
• Squeeze technique
• Bridge technique

9
Common Misunderstandings about Sexual
Relationships

• My partner should know how to please me.
• Ill hurt my partners feelings if I give
  instructions.
• The source of my gratification is outside of
  myself.

10
Common Fears that People Have Concerning Sexuality

• There may be unintended and unwanted consequences
  of sexual behavior.
• I may feel inadequate or be unskilled as a lover.
• My lover might not find me attractive.
• I may offend by initiating sex, or be rejected.
• I may be impotent, frigid, or inorgasmic.
• Fear of discovering interest in same sex persons.

11
Sexual Abuse

• Incest refers to having sexual relationships with
  a blood relative.
• Rape is generally defined as vaginal, anal, or
  oral penetration accomplished by force or threat
  of harm, either when the victim does not consent
  or when the victim is incapable of giving
  consent.
• Sexual harassment is considered to be repeated
  and unwanted sexually oriented behavior in the
  form of comments, gestures, or physical contacts.

12
Same-Sex Intimacy Whats the Difference?

• Homosexuals in our society try to come to terms
  with their sexual identity
• Heterosexuals may harbor stereotypes about
  homosexuals

13
Chapter 11 Review

• What is sexual identity?
• Sexual identity refers to how a perceives himself
  or herself as a sexual being
• Our sexual identity encompasses our sexual
  orientation, our body image, our sexual values,
  and our preferred ways of achieving sexual
  arousal
• What are some guidelines to follow regarding
  acting on sexual thoughts/feelings?
• Will my actions hurt another person or myself?
  Will my behavior limit another persons freedom?
  Will my actions exploit another persons rights?
  Are my actions consistent with my commitments?

14
Chapter 11 Review

• How do we develop sexual values?
• When we are children, we learn to accept without
  question the values of the adults close to us.
• Sexual values that promote self-respect as well
  as respect for our partner are the most
  advantageous.
• Some values for consideration
• Sexuality is a basic part of life and is not to
  be considered evil
• Sexuality is a positive and integral part of our
  personality
• It is our responsibility to choose how we will
  express our sexuality
• A sexual relationship involves trust, respect,
  and concern
• An intimate relationship is the most satisfying
  way to express our sexuality

15
Chapter 11 Review

• What are some common misunderstandings about
  sexual relationships?
• My partner should know how to please me.
• Ill hurt my partners feelings if I give
  instructions.
• The source of my gratification is outside of
  myself.
• What are some common fears people have concerning
  sexuality? There may be unintended and unwanted
  consequences of sexual behavior I may feel
  inadequate or be unskilled as a lover My lover
  might not find me attractive I may offend by
  initiating sex, or be rejected I may be
  impotent, frigid, or inorgasmic Fear of
  discovering interest in same sex persons.

16
Chapter 11 Review

• Sexual Abuse
• Incest, Rape, and Sexual Harassment