True%20or%20False?

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True or False?

• The breadth of information you self disclose is
  related to the person with whom you are talking.
• The depth of information you self disclose is
  related to the reason you are disclosing and the
  level of intimacy in the relationship.

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Relationships

• STAGES
• Initiating
• Experimenting
• Intensifying
• Integrating
• Bonding
• Differentiating
• Circumscribing
• Stagnating
• Avoiding
• Terminating

• Are always changing
• Movement is always to a new place

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REVIEW

• How do listening skills relate to healthy
  relationships?
• What can happen when there are differences in
  communication styles and listening styles in
  relationships?

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Four Personal Listening Styles

• CONTENT ORIENTED Focus on issues and arguments
• PEOPLE ORIENTED Focus on feelings and emotions
• ACTION ORIENTED Impatient and often finish
  speakers thoughts tend to second guess
• TIME ORIENTED Prefer bulleted talking points
  quickly and briefly.

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FAULTY LISTENING

• Yes you can go to the concert, but I want you to
  call me when you get there, and I want you to
  take out the trash before you go, and you need to
  be home before 1100 p.m.
• I dont think you understand what Im saying.

• I heard you.

• I heard you say that you want me home by 1100
  p.m.

• I heard what you said.

• Here we go again with the trash!

• Uh huh.

• I heard exactly what
• you said.

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LISTENING

• What do good listeners look like?
• Verbally
• Nonverbally
• Listening is not a natural process.
• Listening requires effort (active not passive)
• All listeners do not receive the same message.
• We hear uniquely different messages
• Physiological factors, social roles, cultural
  background, personal interests, and needs.

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Listening Stages

• Attending Mindfulness.
• Understanding/Interpreting
• Responding
• Remembering

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INTIMACY IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

• Male and female intimacy styles
• Cultural influences on intimacy

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Intimacy

• Physical intimacy
• Intellectual exchanges
• Emotional disclosure
• Shared activities

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Characteristics of Self-Disclosure

• Influenced by Culture
• Usually occurs in dyads
• Usually symmetrical
• Occurs incrementally
• FEW transactions involve high levels of
  self-disclosure

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Reasons for Self-Disclosure

• Catharsis
• Self-Clarification
• Self-Validation
• Reciprocity
• Impression management
• Relationship maintenance and enhancement
• Control

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Alternatives to Self-Disclosure

• Lies
• White Lies
• Equivocation
• Hinting
• Face Saving

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Perspectives Tensions

• Connection
• Predictability
• Openness

• Autonomy
• Novelty
• Privacy

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Guidelines for Appropriate Self-Disclosure

• Is the other person important to you?
• Is the risk of disclosing reasonable?
• Are the amount and type of disclosure
  appropriate?
• Is the disclosure relevant to the situation at
  hand?
• Is the disclosure reciprocated?
• Will the effect be constructive?
• Is the the self-disclosure clear and
  understandable?

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CHARACTERISTICS OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

• Metacommunication
• Messages (usually relational) that refer to other
  messages communication about communication.

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SELF-DISCLOSURE IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
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A Helical Model of Relational Cycles (figure 6-3)
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CLASS ACTIVITIES Self-Disclosure Johari Window