Violence to the Relationship between Mothers and Children: Steps to Recovery

1
Violence to the Relationship between Mothers
and Children Steps to Recovery

• Professor Cathy Humphreys
• University of Melbourne
• Centre for Excellence in Child and Family Welfare

2
Seminar Overview

• Brief description of research project
• Direct impact of domestic violence on children
• Impact on the relationship between mothers and
  children
• Undermining abuse tactics
• The consequences of this attack
• The concept of Readiness

3
Research Project

• An action research project
• Based in 10 refuges and 2 NSPCC childrens
  projects
• 2 activity books
• Focus groups x 8 reference group
• Interviews (52 children 45 women)
• 12 Asian families
• Reflection sheets from activities 15 worker
  interviews

4
Impact on children

• 102 children in refuges showed rates of
  behavioural and emotional disturbance 2.5 times
  the rate of children living without violence.
  (WOLFE et al., 1988)
• Meta analysis of 118 studies showed significantly
  poorer outcomes on 21 psychosocial measures for
  children witnessing domestic violence, than
  those not living with violence (Kitzmann et al,
  2003).

5
A conspiracy of silence

• NCH Action for Children study
• of 108 mothers experiencing
• domestic violence reported
• 17 per cent had talked to their
• children about it (Abrahams, 1994).
• Two other studies indicate fewer than one third
  of children had talked about the violence and
  abuse with their mothers (McGee, 2000 Mullender
  et al., 2002)

6
Impact on relationship between mothers and
children

• Direct and indirect attack on the relationship
  between mothers and children
• Not to pathologise many strengths
• Closest person is consistently
• Mum
• .

7
Undermining abuse tactics

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• Direct encouraging children to insult their
  mothers
• Indirect disabling the mother physically so she
  is unavailable to her children

8
Undermining abuse tactics

• Disabling the mother physically through violence
  so she is unavailable to her children.
• Disabling the mother mentally through trauma and
  depression so she is emotionally unavailable.
• Criticising and insulting the mother in front of
  the children which undermines their respect for
  her.
• Women may also be sexually assaulted and
  humiliated in front of their children

9
Consequences

• The absent presence of the perpetrator
• Lack of communication due to the veil of
  secrecy
• Children out of control poor discipline
  patterns in the family too much or too little
  or inconsistent
• Lack of appropriate boundaries with some children
  taking on parenting or carer roles
• A mismatch between childrens needs and their
  mothers needs

10
Childrens recovery linked to their mothers

• Resilience in children linked to mothers mental
  health and recovery (Moore and Pepler, 1998)
• Childrens perception that their mothers care and
  support them (Goldblatt, 2003).
• Strengthening communication (Humphreys et al
  2006)
• .

11
Activity Packs for Mothers and children

• Younger children pack and older children pack
• 5 themes
• Talking about feelings
• Building self-esteem
• Strengthening the relationship through exploring
  similarities and differences
• Safety
• Talking about things that matter

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Impact of the workbooks

• Perception of effect of workbooks on relationship
• Making a positive difference
• 78 (n35) a positive difference 41 (n18) a
  major difference
• A good thing to do
• 43 very positive 33 positive

13
Perception of Communication before using the
activities
14
Working on the workbooks

• Quality time
• Difficult but strengthening
• Feelings about dad
• Role of worker support
• Changed perception of talking with children
• A difference to workers

15
Working with the Activities

• Discuss what issues might be raised for mothers,
  children and workers?

16
Participation and engagement

• Readiness
• Organisational context
• Workers skills
• Mothers readiness
• Talking about the past
• Crisis/timing
• Physical/mental health
• Attitude towards relationship
• Children/young people

17
Readiness

• Women need to be in a position strengthen the
  communication with their children
• Acknowledge the dv and are able to talk about it
• Recognise the children are affected
• Beyond the immediate trauma/crisis
• Recognise that children may need to talk/spend
  time with them

18
Implications for policy and practice

• Beyond safety and parenting skills
• Separation of services
• Training needs
• Exploring readiness
• High support needs
• Child contact issues
• Beyond mother-blaming

19
Workbooks

• Available from
• Humphreys, C., Mullender, A., Thiara, R.K. and
  Skamballis, A. ( 2006) Talking to My Mum A
  Picture Workbook for Workers, Mothers and
  Children Affected by Domestic Abuse London,
  Jessica Kingsley Publications
• A6 Humphreys, C., Mullender, A., Thiara, R.K. and
  Skamballis, A. (2006) Talking About Domestic
  Abuse A Photo Activity Workbook to Develop
  Communication Between Mothers and Young People.
  London, Jessica Kingsley Publications
• Footprint Books www.footprint.com.au