Parental workshop on 27th Nov at Victorious Kidss Educares

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Building Self-Esteem in Children

• Parental Workshop
• 27th November 2015

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• What we want is Western Science coupled with
  Vedanta, Brahmacharya as the guiding motto, also
  Shraddha and faith in one's own Self.

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The Teaching Of InnocenceSEVEN PRINCIPLES

1. Everything is possible
2. If you want to get something, give it.
3. When you make a choice, you change the future.
4. Dont say no, go with the flow.
5. Every time you wish or want, you plant a seed.
6. Enjoy the journey.
7. You are here for a reason.

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Learning and Knowledge

• Learning what to Learn V/s Learning How to learn
• Knowledge - Theoretical - Information based -
  Understanding
• Knowledge - Exponential - Experiential - Elevates
  the mind to higher level. One never forgets -
  like eating a Vanilla Ice cream or Alphanso mango
  or chocolate
• Comparison between the two concepts of knowledge.
  
• We may study about the different classification
  and types of Mango Trees, but we would not
  experience how would it tastes unless we eat it.

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What is Self-Esteem?

• How a child feels about him/herself
• How s/he feels accepted by others
• Feeling loveable
• Feeling capable

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The tale of Thomas Mead
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The tale of Thomas Mead
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The tale of Thomas Mead
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Why is it important ?

• It is important because..
• It helps children to feel good about themselves
• It builds their self confidence
• It helps them better understand their own
  problems
• It will cause them to have better social skills
• More self respect
• More respect for others
• Have better control over emotions

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• Every child has, at birth,a greater
  potentialintelligence than Leonardo Da Vinci,
  Isaac Newton, or Einstein ever used.

Glenn DomanAuthor of Teach To Multiply Your
Babys Intelligence
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Vedantic Philosophy at VKE
Learning How To Learn? Education is the
manifestation of the perfection already in man.
No knowledge comes from outside

• - Swami Vivekananda

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• That system which aims at educating our boys in
  the same manner as that of the man who battered
  his ass, being advised that it could thereby be
  turned into horse, should be abolished.

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• Owing to undue domination exercised by the
  parents, our boys do not get free scope of
  growth.
• - Swami Vivekananda

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• You cannot teach a child any more than you can
  grow a plant. The plant develops its own nature.
  The child also teaches itself. But you can help
  it to go forward in its own way
• - Swami Vivekananda

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The 5 Areas of Self Esteem

• Spiritual How you feel about your religious
  beliefs or your place in the BIG Picture.
• Intellectual How you feel about your ability to
  think and solve problems.
• Emotional How you feel about your feelings and
  how you express them.
• Social How you feel about your ability to get
  along with others.
• Physical How you feel about your body and
  health.

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Healthy vs Unhealthy Self-Esteem
A child whose self-esteem is

• Healthy
• Enjoys interacting with others
• Is comfortable in social settings
• Is comfortable doing things on his/her own
• Faces challenges
• Doesnt belittle him/herself
• Is optimistic
• Is aware of own strengths and weaknesses

• Unhealthy
• Is afraid to try new things
• Speaks negatively about him/herself
• Has a low frustration tolerance
• Gives up easily
• Is easily disappointed in him/herself
• Is pessimistic
• Views setbacks as permanent and devastating

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Ways to Build Self-Esteem and Confidence

• Love Your Children for Who They Are
• Encourage small achievements rather than point
  out their mistakes or failures
• Enhance the qualities they have dont blame them
  for lacking others
• Reward effort and completion rather than outcomes

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Ways to Build Self-Esteem and Confidence

• 2. Encourage Your Childs Talents
• Encourage your child to try in order to build
  his/her confidence
• Set realistic expectations
• Avoid comparisons with others
• Recognize his/her improvement

However, dont expect your child to excel in
sports, academics, music, just because you did.
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Ways to Build Self-Esteem and Confidence

• 3. Give Your Children Importance
• Respect their likes and dislikes
• Ask for their opinion
• Encourage your child to be part of
  decision-making, particularly as it concerns
  him/her
• Show interest in their activities

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Ways to Build Self-Esteem and Confidence

• 4. Give Responsibility
• Assign chores that your child can accomplish
  daily
• Completing chores gives a sense of self-worth and
  confidence in his/her abilities
• Allows child to make an important contribution to
  the family

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Ways to Build Self-Esteem and Confidence

• 5. Set Rules and Consequences
• Having rules helps a child feel secure
• Helps a child know what is expected of him/her
• Helping your child set self-limits builds
  self-esteem and self-understanding
• Be firm (not harsh) and consistent

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Ways to Build Self-Esteem and Confidence

• 6. Establish Routines
• Children feel more secure when they have set
  routines which are predictable
• Routines help children understand what is
  expected of them and how to reach those
  expectations

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Ways to Build Self-Esteem and Confidence

• 7. Monitor Your Childs Friendships
• By 6 years old, peer influence becomes
  increasingly important
• Help your child recognise peers who build-up
  self-worth rather than tear it down
• Help your child develop his/her own value system
  and recognise peers who share those values

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Ways to Build Self-Esteem and Confidence

• 8. Allow Children to Express Their Feelings
• Teach/prompt your child to express their feelings
  through words
• Listen to your child with a closed mouth
• Be available to them and validate their feelings
  by restating what theyve said
• Be aware that listening/validating their feelings
  can be enough of a response

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Ways to Build Self-Esteem and Confidence

• 9. Be A Positive Mirror
• How your child perceives him/herself largely
  depends upon how you perceive him/her
• Value them for who they are and not just how they
  perform
• Tell children what they can do instead of what
  not to do

Be a good role model for self-esteem avoid
putting yourself down, or beating yourself up if
you make a mistake send a message that its okay
not to be perfect
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Ways to Build Self-Esteem and Confidence

• 10. Play with Your Child
• Play time gives the message you are worth my
  time and you are valuable
• Child-initiated play increases self-worth (Mom
  likes to play the things I do) and holds his/her
  attention longer
• Give him/her your undivided attention

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Ways to Build Self-Esteem and Confidence

• Monitor your parenting style
• Dont fall into the trap of the permissive parent
• Help your child understand that s/he cant always
  get his/her way
• Encourage social competence through give take,
  together and separate time (especially important
  for parents of an only child)
• Avoid exclusive child- centred decision-making
• Show respect for the authority figures in your
  childs world.

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Ways to Build Self-Esteem and Confidence

• 12. Be Spontaneous and Affectionate
• Give hugs and praise frequently
• Surprise them for no reason in particular
• Be playful and genuine

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Competency

• Helping children develop self-esteem is a matter
  of helping them gather evidence that they are
  competent, capable, successful right now and
  being loved by others. Tell them the most
  important friend is God, loves you, through your
  Mother, Father, Brother, Sister Friends.

When children are allowed to do things for
themselves, they feel proud and competent.
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How would you handle the following situations

• Sham says, I cant do math. Im stupid!
• Seema tells you that someone in her class said
  her butterfly project was ugly.
• John tells you he doesnt have any friends
  because all the boys in his class play soccer and
  he doesnt know how.

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Ways to Build Self-Esteem

• Love your children for who they are
• Be grateful to God and keep tellingyourself that
  your children areGods gift to you
• See, encourage, and not seek your childs talents
• Give your children importance
• Give responsibility
• Set rules and consequences
• Establish Spirituality practice to set routines
  
• Guide monitor your childs friends
• Allow children to express their feelings
• Be a positive mirror
• Play with your child
• Be spontaneous and affectionate

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• If you do not allow one to become a lion, one
  will become a fox.
• -Swami Vivekananda

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If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again

• If I had my child to raise all over again,I'd
  build self-esteem first,
• and the house later.I'd finger-paint more,
• and point the finger less.I would do less
  correcting
• and more connecting.I'd take my eyes off my
  watch
• and watch with my eyes.I would care to know less
• and know to care more.
• I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.

I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.I
would run through more fields and gaze at more
stars.I'd do more hugging and less tugging.I'd
see the oak tree in the acorn more often.I would
be firm less often, and affirm much more. I'd
model less about the love of power,And more
about the power of Love.
by Diane Loomans
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IB Learner Profile Coupled with Vedanta
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The Steps of a Child

• If a child lives with
• Criticism, He learns to condemn.
• hostility, He learns to fight.
• ridicule, He learns to be shy.
• shame, He learns to feel guilty.
• tolerance, He learns to be patient.
• encouragement, He learns confidence.
• praise, He learns to appreciate.
• fairness, He learns justice.
• approval, He learns to like himself.
• acceptance and friendship, He learns to find
  love in the world.
• - Dorothy Law Nolte

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This 21 Century Belongs To India

• Did you know that India was the wealthiest
  country in this Globe?
• Subsequently India went down and down - Why?
• India is rising once again. The Economy of India
  is the tenth-largest in the world by nominal GDP
  and the third-largest by purchasing power parity
  (PPP).

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God Talks with Arjuna
THE BHAGAVAD GITA
Sri Sri Paramhansa Yogananda

• At the time India was conquered by Western
  colonial powers, according to historian Dr. J.T.
  Sunderland, she was the wealthiest nation on the
  globe.

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• Let us remember, wrote the eminent historian
  and philosopher Will Durant (in The Case for
  India, New York Simon and Schuster, 1930), that
  India was the motherland of our race, and
  Sanskrit the mother of Europes languages that
  she was the mother of our philosophy, mother,
  through the Arabs, of much of our mathematics,
  motherof the ideals embodied in Christianity,
  mother, through the village community, of
  self-government and democracy. Mother India in
  many ways the mother of us all.

God Talks with Arjuna THE BHAGAVAD GITA Sri Sri
Paramhansa Yogananda
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• World religious authority Huston Smith recalls
  that in the 1950s the eminent British historian
  Toynbee predicted that in the 21st century,
  India the conquered would conquer her
  conquerors.

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21st Century Does Belong to India

• But who are these Indians who are going to make
  India number one in the globe, is it you and me?
• A piece of steel can be converted into a nail for
  the concrete wall of our home. That cost may be
  of 10 rupees? It could also be converted into a
  spring for Rolex watch which could cost maybe
  60,000 rupees.
• Your child is a gift from God, what you make out
  of him is your gift back to God.

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Thank You!!