Descriptive Writing

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Descriptive Writing

• Clear description provides
• a dominant impression.

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What is descriptive writing?

• Descriptive writing has one, clear dominant
  impression.
• So to describe a snowfall, you must picture it as
  pretty or dangerous, but not both at once.
• The thesis sentence asserts something about the
  topic.
• Then the details all support that view.
• What is the thesis??

• The ten-inch snowfall was beautiful, but it was
  also quite deadly. Cars had slid off the road,
  forcing drivers to walk on the ice. The town had
  several bad car collisions, mostly at corners.
  The worst one of all happened when a
  sixteen-year-old driver hit and killed a
  grandmother crossing Walnut Avenue.

What are cars likely to do on snow?
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Descriptive writing has a point!

• About the snowfall, the point is that it is
  dangerous.
• The support sentences add details that go from
  bad to worse and then to the very worst.

• The ten-inch snowfall was beautiful, but it was
  also quite deadly.
• Cars had slid off the road, forcing drivers to
  walk on the ice.
• The town had several bad car collisions, mostly
  at corners.
• The worst one of all happened when a
  sixteen-year-old driver hit and killed a
  grandmother crossing Walnut Avenue.

What trouble does snowfall bring drivers?
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Is description objective or subjective?

• A descriptive essay can be objective or
  subjective, giving the author a wide choice of
  tone and attitude.
• Objective description of one's dog would mention
  facts like its height, weight and color.
• Subjective description would include all that,
  but would also stress the author's feeling toward
  the dog, and its personality and habits.

• Objective or subjective?
• Blondie, a cute wiener dog with a winsome look,
  was my favorite pet. She liked to follow me. At
  the store, when I gave her half of my Twinkie,
  her eyes would twinkle. She liked fishing with
  me, especially when I caught minnows for her to
  eat. The only place she didnt go was school, but
  she waited at the bus stop for me, come cloud or
  rain. She was a great pet.

Doesnt the passage promote a feeling?
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How important are the senses?

• Descriptive writing relies on concrete, sensory
  detail to communicate its point.
• Include sound, smell, taste, touch, and inner
  feeling.
• What sounds do you hear?
• What odors or flavors are there?
• What textures objects have?
• Does it make you feel positive or negative?

What sensory trouble did the dog get into?
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What about using specifics?

• Go beyond common nouns, like car, book, magazine,
  movie, or building.
• Use specific names, such as
• Honda Accord
• Gone With the Wind
• Seventeen Magazine
• Jurassic Park
• Dalton State College
• In the passage on the right, are there any
  specifics details? ?

• When Kamie was eleven years old, a routine
  physical uncovered an abnormal curvature in her
  spine, scoliosis. Kamie, as well as her family,
  was devastated. They were told by the doctor that
  only 10 percent of all children are afflicted by
  scoliosis, but her family just couldnt believe
  Kamie was a part of that 10 percent.

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Here are the specific details

• Names and numbers are very specific details
• When Kamie was eleven years old, a routine
  physical uncovered an abnormal curvature in her
  spine, scoliosis. Kamie, as well as her family,
  was devastated. They were told by the doctor that
  only 10 percent of all children are afflicted by
  scoliosis, but her family just couldnt believe
  Kamie was a part of that 10 percent.

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Can we use colorful adjectives?

• Forget good, fun, tall, fast, short, beautiful,
  ugly, light, rough, or kind.
• Say someone was six-and-a-half feet.
• Say it went 90 miles per hour.
• Say the jerk had a scar running from his right
  cheek to his jaw.
• Say we ran along the beach every morning at
  six.
• Not just we had fun on our vacation.

Whats colorful about Johnny Depp in the role of
Captain Jack Sparrow?
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Can you use active verbs?

• Dont say that someones heart was beating fast.
• Say that it was thumping, or palpitating, or
  skipping.
• Dont say a girl ran down the hall.
• Write that she skipped or danced down the hall.
• Which active verbs can you find? ?

• I answered yes to 7 of the 10 symptoms and may
  be addicted to the net. I never realized that I
  was computer addicted. Then Arnies words hit
  home Technology is addicting. Like heroin, the
  bad habit feeds on our wish to escape the limits
  of time and space and it consumes us.

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Here are the active verbs

• I answered yes to 7 of the 10 symptoms and may
  be addicted to the net. I never realized that I
  was computer addicted. Then Arnies words hit
  home Technology is addicting. Like heroin, the
  bad habit feeds on our wish to escape the limits
  of time and space and it consumes us.

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Can you create an impression?

• If you are wanting to frighten people with a
  description of a haunted house, for example, then
  you should use words that are dark, gloomy, and
  foreboding throughout the essay.
• You can even make a list of related words before
  you begin to write.
• What is the main impression? ?

• Americans lead the world in coffee drinking,
  averaging 3.4 cups per person a day. But is the
  brown drink just a morning pick-me-up?
  Unfortunately, much of todays coffee is grown in
  such a way that it damages the environment,
  although it has been proven that there are far
  less harmful methods.

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Can you create an impression?

• Americans lead the world in coffee drinking,
  averaging 3.4 cups per person a day. But is the
  brown drink just a morning pick-me-up?
  Unfortunately, much of todays coffee is grown in
  such a way that it damages the environment,
  although it has been proven that there are far
  less harmful methods.

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Can you use a normal pattern?

• Organize by putting the important or larger
  features first, and the less important or smaller
  features last.
• In your writing, always describe from
• top to bottom,
• right to left,
• or front to back.
• Whats the pattern? ?

• It started the first day at my horrible high
  school. I remember walking through that big
  school on the gray, evil morning. I walked to my
  resource room, and I sat down right next to the
  guy who would turn my world upside down. I
  remember looking toward the window and seeing his
  spiking hair outline against the dreary horizon.
  He was looking at me. I knew that he must have
  been looking at a girl behind me or something. He
  couldnt possibly be looking at me. Boy, was I
  wrong.

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Can you write in paragraphs?

• Use separate paragraphs to describe a persons
• physical appearance
• relationships with others
• hobbies and interests
• accomplishments and achievements
• beliefs, likes/dislikes, and dreams
• Whats this about??

• My friend Catherine is as cool as a cucumber. She
  is Mormon, and she really believes in her
  religion. I respect her for that. She is always
  there when I need a shoulder to cry on. She is
  extremely nice, and she is as sweet as sugar. She
  is really cool to hang out with at the mall
  because we both have the same style in clothing.
  I have only known her for a year, but I feel like
  I have known her forever.

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You can organize paragraphs

• My friend Catherine is as cool as a cucumber.
• She is Mormon, and she really believes in her
  religion.
• She is always there when I need a shoulder to cry
  on.
• She is extremely nice, and she is as sweet as
  sugar.
• She is really cool to hang out with at the mall
  because we both have the same style in clothing.
• I have only known her for a year, but I feel like
  I have known her forever.

How serious is your shopping?
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Describe with more comparisons.

• Help us understand what you are describing by
  using comparisons such as these
• The cashier was as slow as a turtle.
• Her father looked like an angry bull.
• The students faces looked like blank sheets of
  paper.

Is the food industry more advanced than other
terrorists?
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How to conclude a description

• In the conclusion, connect the reader to the
  description.
• Or say how the thing youre describing has
  changed your life.
• Try not to repeat what you said in your
  introduction.
• Rather, say something conclusive but new.

• How does this one end?
• My friend John is easygoing. He wears jeans or
  shorts and doesnt care about fashion. When his
  daughter says shes having trouble with a friend,
  he says, Thats okay. It will work out. One
  day, my dog bit John, hard, on his leg and tore
  his pants. He said it was his fault because he
  had disturbed the dog. John helps me keep from
  being too nervous.

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How to conclude a description

• In the conclusion, connect the reader to the
  description.
• Or say how the thing youre describing has
  changed your life.
• Try not to repeat what you said in your
  introduction.
• Rather, say something conclusive but new.

• How does this one end?
• My friend John is easygoing. He wears jeans or
  shorts and doesnt care about fashion. When his
  daughter says shes having trouble with a friend,
  he says, Thats okay. It will work out. One
  day, my dog bit John, hard, on his leg and tore
  his pants. He said it was his fault because he
  had disturbed the dog. John helps me keep from
  being too nervous.

It ends with how John changes the writers
life, making him more calm and peaceful.
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Can you pass the review test?

• Descriptions basically are
• a. details put into lists
• b. the only writing pattern
• c. word pictures
• d. lots of colorful adjectives
• e. pretty normal sentences
• 2. Descriptions normally tell

• How you see something or someone.
• Exaggerations about reality.
• Just how you feel about something.
• How something or someone look, sound, taste,
  smell, and/or feel.
• What your girlfriend wants to know.

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Can you pass the review test?

• 3. We use descriptions
• Only when we talk.
• Only when we write.
• Both when talking and writing.
• Much more than narration.
• Much less than narration.
• 4. In descriptive writing, the main impression
  is

• What your mother wants you to do.
• The most important feature.
• Why you left high school.
• The one you would like to forget.
• What you like the most about a person or a thing.
• All the details added.

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Can you pass the review test?

• Which of these is comparison?
• My essays read like mystery novels.
• Your essays read well enough.
• His essays sound good to me.
• Their essays could be better than the other
  ones.
• No one knows where my essay is.
• What stirs up more interest? ?

• I toured two major cities of Moroccoland of
  mystery, enticement, and enchantment. I was
  expecting belly dancers, snake charmers, and
  exotic sights filled with color and decoration.
  While I did see that, most of what I saw was
  totally unexpected and will haunt me forever.

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Applying Descriptive Writing

• Begin by giving your reason for telling all about
  someone.
• Give your main impression of the person.
• Add specific details of sight, sound, touch, etc.
• End with what the person means to you.

• My father was a very active person. As a book
  salesman, he drove hours everyday. He pitched
  fast-pitch softball until he was 50. He stayed at
  the dam fishing till after dark. He shot deer
  with bow and arrow, providing meat for his
  family. At 80, he even roofed his own house.

Now it is your turn! Write out a one-page
description of your father or your mother!