Attraction, relationships, Love, and all that

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Attraction, relationships, Love, and all that

• Awwww.

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Concept of Relationship

• Kelly et al. (1983) relationship- two people with
  interdependent behavior such that a change in one
  results in a change in the others behavior.

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• Closeness
• Aron et al. (1991) inclusion of other in self
  scale.
• Closeness degree to which cognitive
  representations of the self overlap with the
  partner.
• Beginnings
• Parks Eggert (1991) Social Contextual Model
• Physical and communicative distance (friends) are
  important.

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What leads to Attraction?

• Proximity like those who are close.
• Festinger et al (1950) married student housing,
  proximity-liking.
• Anticipated interaction (Darley Berscheid,
  1967)
• I will talk about this more later.

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What leads to Attraction?

• Familiarity
• Zajonc (1968) Mere exposure.
• Faces, ideographs, nonsense words.
• Subliminal (Kunst-Wilson and Zajonc, 1980).
• Pictures (normal, mirror)

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What leads to Attraction?

• Reciprocity of attraction
• Swan (1990) Self-Verification Theory- gravitate
  towards those who see us as we see ourselves.
• Swan et al (1992) Neg Self-Concept liked spouse
  who saw them the same.

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What leads to Attraction?

• Curtis and Miller (1986) Self-fulfilling
  prophecy/blind date.
• ½ believed they were liked by their dates, ½
  given no info.
• (lack of confidence)
• Aronson (1989) Told certain other liked them or
  not
• Feel reciprocal affection (lesson for those who
  are shy)

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What leads to Attraction?

• Similarity
• Byrne (1971)
• Do we like people more just because they have
  similar attitudes?
• bogus stranger
• Describe self
• Read strangers
• More similar greater liking

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Remember this??

• Tesser (1988) SEM Model- motivated to maintain
  positive self image via comparison or reflection
  processes.
• Tesser et al (1988)
• close partner/relevant dimension
• SE threatened and relationship decreased.
• Close partner/irrelevant dimension
• attraction increased.

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More Concept of Attraction

• Physical Attractiveness
• Kenrick (1980) Charlies Angles study.
• 1989 centerfolds and wives.

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• Berscheid et al (1971)
• A womans attractiveness is a good predictor of
  how frequently she dates.
• Only a moderate predictor for males.

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• Hatfield et al. (1966) personality tests,
  attractiveness.
• Went on a 2.5 hour date.
• Wanted to date the person more when?

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Matching phenomenon

• Matching phenomenon- we tend to approach people
  who are a close match to us physically and in
  terms of attributes (e.g., intelligence).
• More likely to approach someone who is similar.
• If dating someone similar, more likely to fall in
  love.

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• Baize Schroeder (1995)
• Personal ads receive more responses when
• Males advertise education and income
• Women advertise youth and looks.

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Attractiveness Stereotype

• Attractive people are kind, warm, and smart(but
  not honest and concerned)
• Liked more by adults, children, and infants.
• Clifford Hatfield (1973). Gave teachers
  identical info about a boy and girl. Varied
  attractiveness.
• Rate intelligence and success.
• Roszwell et al (1990)
• 1-5 scale
• For each point people tended to earn and extra
  2000.
• Whats pretty?

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Women Men

• WHR (.7) wt. varies
• youth
• large eyes (youth)
• skin (youth)
• prominent cheek bones (sex. Mat.)
• Large smile area
• facial symmetry

• Taller
• Athletic (not too muscular)
• symmetric body shape
• WHR (.9)
• Shoulders somewhat wider than hips
• prominent chin, cheekbones, eyes, smile area

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Evolution

• Genetic variability
• sexual maturity
• Overall health
• Perrett et al (1994) digitally averaged faces
  more attractive than individual faces.

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Love

• Sternberg (1987) Triangular Theory of Love-
  Intimacy, Passion, commitment.
• PIromantic love
• ICcompanionate
• IPCconsummate.
• Lee (1988) Love Styles- Eros (erotic), storge
  (friend), Ludus (games).

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A Theory of Passionate Love

• Many theories cant account for the 6 month
  whirlwind of feeling in love (or feeling love for
  someone who just dumped you)
• Bersheid Walster (1974) 2 component Theory of
  Love
• Arousal and Attribution of the arousal
• Build off of Schacter and Singer (1962)
• Must be physically aroused and must label that
  arousal as particular emotion

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Numerous Factors might elicit arousal

• Nervous about rejection when asking for date
• Presence may elicit sexual arousal
• May have little to do with the other person may
  have more to do with situation
• What matters?...that the arousal is interpreted
  as romantic emotion

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More Bersheid Walster (1974)

• Cultural Influences
• Culture teaches us what situations to label our
  arousal as romantic love
• similar age
• physically attractive
• similar background

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Empirical Data

• Dutton and Aron (1974)
• Males visiting park in Canada
• Cross 1 of 2 bridges
• Bridge 1-Suspension bridge made of wooden boards
  crossing canyon
• tendency to tilt, sway, and wobble very low
  handrails of wire cable 230 foot drop to rocks
  and shallow rapids below
• Bridge 2-Solid wood only 10 feet above ground

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Cont.

• Interviewer-Studying effects of scenic
  attractions on creativity
• Given experimenters phone and told they could
  call for more detail
• Stories coded for sexual material and whether or
  not they called experimenter

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Results

• 50 versus 12.5 call back
• 2.5 versus 1.4
• Wilson Kraft (1993) thinking about a
  relationship may change attitudes toward it.

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Developing Relationships

• Snyder, Tanke, Berscheid (1977) self fulfilling
  prophecy phone conversation.
• Berscheid et al. (1976)
• Shown a video with several people in it.
• Expected to go on a date with one of the people.
• Tended to like that person
• expectancies direct attention to consistent info.

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Attachment Theory

• Bowlby (1969) infant-caregiver bond.
  Availability/responsiveness generalize to
  (modifiable) internal working models of
  relationships.
• Hazan Shaver (1987) romantic relationships
  serve the same functions in adulthood as
  caregiver in childhood. Aviodant,
  Anxious/ambivalent, Secure.

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• Memory
• Wegner et al (1991) Close relationship partners
  may develop transitive memory- each specializes
  in retaining certain types of memories and
  knowledge.

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Relationship Development

• Self-Disclosure
• Alteman Taylor (1973) Social Penetration Theory
• reciprocal exchange of information, increasingly
  self-disclose.

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• Clark Mills (1979)
• Distinguish between communal and exchange
  relationships
• Communal relationship concern for others
  welfare. Ex. Families, romantic partners, and
  friends.
• Exchange relationship give benefits to receive
  future benefits or repay debt

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• I.V. made to desire a communal or exchange
  relationship.
• Scrabble, finished first, wanna help?
• Scrabble, gave tile, thank or repay.
• Exchange-keep track of inputs and outcomes, feel
  exploited if not repaid.
• Communal-do not keep track and respond to needs
  of other.

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• Aron Aron (1996) Self-Expansion Model-motivated
  to enter close relationships to expand the self.
• Closeness self/other cognitive-structure
  overlap.
• Aron et al. (1995) after falling in love, report
  more traits and phrases as describing them.

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Smore

• Lott and Lott (1960)
• 1st and 3rd grade classes (no strong feel)
• Rocket ship game/presence of other kids
• Random 1/2 succeed
• Receive 4 matchbox cars in presence of others
• 1/2 failed in presence of others

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• Family spends 2 weeks on vacation Who do you
  want to invite
• 23 percent versus 6 percent
• Positive affect associated with other children

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• Lewicki (1985)
• I.V. rude or kind experimenter
• I.V. similar or dissimilar person
• D.V. to who did they return their packets?
• Hmmmm.

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Need to belong

• Twenge (2001, 2002)
• Social exclusion manipulation (personality test
  or told that others didnt want them in their
  group).
• Performed poorly on a test
• Agreed more
• Zadro (2004) computer.

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ALL

• DONE
• ???