Working with our children

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Working with our children

• Voices of parents and youth advocates from
  diverse communities

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Voices of
17 parents/youth advocates from

• Eritrea
• Ethiopia
• Somalia
• Liberia
• South Africa

• Laos
• Japan
• Mexico
• Red Lake Nation
• U.S.- African American

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In their words

• A 30 year old Somali man
• We moved to the U.S. because the state of
  Somalia collapsed and everybody was trying to
  escape the chaos. My family had mixed
  expectations. Some were expecting to get rich
  quick, others nothing, some a lot of hard work.
  My parents were just hoping for a better
  situation where their kids would be safer. They
  dont have to try to escape gunfights everyday,
  they were hoping for better schools and better
  jobs.

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In their words

• A middle-aged Liberian woman
• the on-going war, we tried to go to school
  during the war, things were not fine. So when we
  saw the opportunity to come to the U.S. we came.
  Ive already heard from relatives who told me
  that it was difficult, especially for colored
  people living in the U.S. but I was prepared to
  work, find a way to go to school and do what I
  must to help my family.

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In their words

• Young Hmong woman
• We are a family of ten actually. All of us were
  born in Laos. During the Vietnam War, we moved
  to France. My parents wanted to come to the U.S.
  because we have a lot of family here. And also
  because of the educational system, it is a lot
  better here and more opportunity for advancement
  than France. my particular path is a little
  different. One, I was not grown in a way Hmong
  girls were because I have a disability too and
  that added another level to it.

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In their words

• Young Hmong male
• My parents were born in Long Cheng, Laos.
  During the Vietnam War, they were taken to a
  refugee camp in Thailand. they came to this
  country to escape persecution because if they
  stayed, they certainly would have died in the
  camp. My father was a teacher back in Laos, he
  got very ill, he had diabetes. He passed in 98.
  In the Hmong culture, the male dominates the
  family and if there is no male, your family is
  like basically worthless

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In their own words

• Native American woman
• As an enrolled member of the Red Lake Nation, I
  come from a large family, eight brothers and two
  sisters, with a large circle of extended family.
  My family was very involved in the formation of
  Indian activism of the 60s. My mother, XXX
  spoke up and gave the American Indian Movement,
  the name. At the time, there was a lot of police
  brutality and racism. All my brothers were
  harassed and beaten. My mother and father were
  angry and passionate about wanting things to
  change

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Topics of Discussion

• Family Background
• Living in the U.S. expectations, hardships,
  successes, community support
  
• Wishes for their childrens future
• Youth programs expectations, parent involvement,
  discipline
  
• Cross-cultural relationships

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Interview Procedure

• Interviews were conducted as part of the MN CYFAR
  New Communities Project efforts
  
• All participants were recruited and interviewed
  by a CYFAR evaluation team member who is actively
  involved in diverse communities
  
• All interviews were tape recorded and transcribed
  for analysis
  

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Interview Procedure cont

• Interviews were analyzed by three evaluation and
  project team members
  
• Because the interviews were fluid rather than
  structured, individuals first highlighted
  portions of the text relevant to understanding
  key concepts then reviewed the texts for
  emergent themes
• The individuals came together to review,
  negotiate, interpret

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Effective Program

• Culturally Sensitive Staff Members
• Emotional Physical Safe Place for Kids
• Structured with Explicit Goals Rules
• Emphasis on Education
• Bridge Builders to the Real World
• Fun!!

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Multiple Cultural Voices

• First have a strong sense of who they are
• Dont become that community, appreciate it,
  learn from it but be who you are
  
• Recognize extended family, neighbors, community,
  manners are important
  
• Know that your language is a barrier for our
  kids
  
• Believe my child can become anything he wants to
  be

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Results Analysis of An Effective Program
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Emotional Physical Safe Place

• Interest in kids must come from the heart
• Kids can feel when staff are not present
• You cant run a program for kids without knowing
  the kids
  
• We see teachers youth workers as our kids
  second parents

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Emotional Physical Safe Place

• Characteristics
• Staff are passionate about their work with kids
• Staff like kids and treat them with respect
• Kids are Individuals
• Kids Count
• Kids are encouraged big time!

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Structured Programwith Explicit Goals Rules

• Quotes
• Parents wants to know what the program is
  offering their kids
  
• Expect time, location and program goals to be
  clear
  
• Program goals that benefit kids and families
• Kids get lost when programs are too big
• Staff are not afraid of the kids in the
  program
  
• Parents send their kids to programs that do
  well
  

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Structured Program with Explicit Goals Rules

• Know what enthuses a child
• Clear and flexible goals
• Has a logical plan for parent involvement
• Challenges kids intellectually
• Well organized and Consistent

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Emphasis on Education

• Educational programs galore!
• Education is important
• Go beyond from what is expected in school
• A program where my kids can get help in exactly
  what they want to be in the future
  
• Teach English

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Bridge Builders to the Real World

• Program out in the community, not just in the
  building
  
• Help kids build relationships between their own
  community and others
  
• Get support form the community
• Teach kids to take pride in their community

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FUN!!!

• Make programs fun!
• Allow children to play
• Remember kids are first of all just kids
• Help parents see the need for fun in programs
• Figure out what a child likes and take it from
  there

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FUN!!!

• Characteristics
• Kids want to be there
• Kids do fun stuff
• Kids do positive things
• Dont treat kids like mass produce

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Issues in Discipline

• Try to understand the misbehavior
• Equal respect for adults kids
• Talk to kids, disciplinedont punish
• Dont be afraid of kids and their misbehavior
• Involve parents right away
• Clear rules from the beginning
• Outside Influences
• Focus on positive behavior
• Public Consequences

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Try to understand their misbehavior

• Maybe they dont understand the rules
• Unless you find out that the way you were raised
  was not right you are not going to change it
  
• Kids act out when staff dont know what to do

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Respect for Adults Kids

• The roles are reversed, kids become the masters
  at home
  
• As an adult be prepared to say youre wrong
• Parents need to respect their kids
• There is no respect for adults here

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Talk to kids, disciplinedont punish

• Children behave when they know there are some
  discipline involved
  
• Its about helping them make the right choices
  at an early time and educating them about things
  that can harm them
  
• Talk to older kids

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Dont be afraid of kids and their misbehavior

• When my child misbehave talk to my child
  straight up and let him know it is not acceptable
  here
  
• It is a teachers job whether she is black or
  white telling a child who misbehaves that it is
  not okay. She seemed almost afraid of the boy!
  
• Kids need to be aware of their misbehavior and
  the consequences flowing from it

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Involve parents right away

• I need a phone call
• Parents too should have a clear understanding of
  the rules
  
• Cant do it alone, you need to work with the
  parents
  
• When someone has a hidden agenda about
  disciplining my child, I have problem with that
  
• Parents want to be informed if their kids
  misbehave
  

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Clear rules from the beginning

• Get a discipline plan
• When people dont know how to discipline my
  child, they harm my child
  
• Have clear rules
• Sometimes the staff dont even know what the
  rules are
  

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Outside Influences

• Kids misbehave because of miscommunication at
  home
  
• Really knowing what is happening at home, will
  help you help the kids
  
• Kids misbehave because there are no one set
  rules for them at home

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Self-awareness avoids stereotyping

• Staff should know where the child comes from
• African American kids are more confrontational
  today, if you are going to raise successful
  African American kids in this society, you have
  to raise them that way
• Staff should not take on any of my culture in
  order to gain a better understanding of my
  people. It is patronizing and non-authentic
  
• First think of kids as kids and dont put them
  into categories, colors and groups
  

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Focus on positive behavior

• Really listen to kids
• Commend kids
• Kids must be rewarded for good behavior
• Sometimes you must just let the kids deal with
  it
  
• Form friendships and build trust

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Public Consequences

• Somali parents are afraid of their kids
  reporting them to the authorities
  
• Be aware that parents fear child protection
  services
  
• Teachers are afraid to discipline kids