Managing Difficult People and Situations.

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Managing Difficult People and Situations.

• Dr. Mac McCrory
• CEO
• Development by Design, Inc.

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FormerlyWorking with Idiots will Kill you.
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Idiots Premature DeathStress directly related
to death

• Cardiovascular disease
• Hypertension
• Stroke
• Cancer
• Suicide
• Homicide
• Accidents

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Conflict

• The Chinese word for conflict is made up of two
  characters.
• One character implies that conflict can be a
  crisis.
• The other character indicates that it can be
• an opportunity.
• Conflict itself is NOT the problem.
• Unresolved conflict is the problem.

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Resolve conflicts issues IFRelationships are
Important

• Family
• Friends
• Co-workers
• Bosses
• Subordinates
• Customers
• Patients, consumers, clients, residents

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What to expect from dispute/issue management

• Maintain relationships
• Give take
• Manage the issue
• it doesnt go away, deal with it
• Resolve the conflict/dispute
• You dont always get your way
• win some/win some

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Who are Idiots?Difficult People?

• Are difficult people really just different?
• FROM US?
• Different perceptions of life?
• Different personalities?
• Different styles of communication?
• Different styles of dealing with conflict?

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Perception, Personality, and Communication

• Perception determines communication
• Personality determines perception
• Interests, positions
• Objective, subjective
• Understanding your personality characteristics
  helps you communicate better
• Understanding others more effective
  communication

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Assessment Tools

• Myers Briggs
• Insightful Strategies (Colours)
• True Colors (simple, fun)
• Working with Style (work related, calm, storm)
• How to use them
• Tools to help us assess our team function
• Appreciate differences, create unity

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Personality a picture of yourself, inside and
outside

• Spirit
• Beliefs, values, actions, choices
• Stamina
• Emotional physical well-being
• Situation
• Context of life surroundings
• Skills
• Abilities and competencies developed
• Style
• Characteristic way a person responds/reacts

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Diverse PersonalitiesWe are all different we
are all alike

• Strengths (utilizing individual strengths to
  create team unity and achieve goals)
• Joys (how do we measure success, reward)
• Values (whats important to each of us)
• Stresses (what causes it and how do we respond to
  it)
• Operational codes (the functional aspect of all
  of these components)

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Negotiation, partnering, communication (dealing
w/ people)

• Understanding and appreciating the differences in
  the other parties
• Demonstrating that appreciation in your
  conversation
• Getting what you want
• Getting what you need
• Getting to a mutually beneficial state
• Position v interest based negotiation

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Interests v. Positions

• Interests
• Objective, measurable
• For the good of the order
• Positions
• Subjective, emotional attachment
• For the good of the individual

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Five Styles of Conflict Management
Compete
Collaborate
Issues
Compromise
Accommodate
Avoid
Relationships

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Cost Equation
Predictable Conflict
Weak Systems
High Costs


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Contributions to Weak Systems

• Poor Skills
• Procedures Based on Higher Authority
• No Link to Mission
• Overuse of Litigation to Resolve Disputes
• Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) as an
  Add-on
• Inadequate Prevention

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High Costs of Conflict

• Litigation Expenses
• Lost Time
• Turnover
• Long-Term Relationships
• Lost Business

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Binding Arbitration
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Principles of Interest-Based Negotiations

• Separate people from problems
• Focus on interests, not positions
• Use objective criteria to develop fair
  satisfactory options for both sides
• Evaluate options according to standards, not
  power
• BATNA

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Interest-Based NegotiationsAssumptions

• Communication enhances relationships
• All parties receive benefits
• Each party should help the other
• Open discussion expands interests and options
• Standards replace power
• Anger is defused

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Benefits of appropriate dispute resolution

• Parties are more satisfied
• Greater range of options
• More creative solutions
• Feel better toward one another
• Relationships preserved
• Parties retain more control
• Interests of all are better served
• Compliance is greater

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Active Listening

• Commit to sincerely understand/respond to what is
  said
• Move away from distractions
• Maintain eye contact adjust slightly toward the
  person speaking
• Acknowledge the speaker by slightly nodding or
  smiling
• Listen carefully for the main idea being
  expressed
• Clarify information ask questions at
  appropriate intervals
• In your own words, restate to the speaker what
  you heard
• Summarize your understanding back to the speaker.

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Guidelines

• Empathize with the speaker --- put yourself "in
  the other person's shoes" to understand their
  thoughts and emotions
• I versus U statements
• Demonstrate your understanding and receptivity to
  the speaker with appropriate, non-verbal
  behaviors
• - respond in a calm tone of voice
• - incorporate calming physical gestures
• - use appropriate eye contact
• - display receptive body posture
• Don't interrupt, give advice or try to make
  corrections, nor try to inject your own personal
  feelings or problems (Yackus Interruptuss)

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Take Aways

• I versus U statements
• Yackus Interuptus
• Empathize with the other party(ies)
• Speak with empathy and intent
• Heart v. Head Speak

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Importance of issue and conflict management

• Preserve relationships
• More productive work environment
• Manage or reduce personal stress
• Improve your health and well-being
• Reduce your risk of IRDs
• Idiot Related Diseases

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Facilitated Team Dialogue

• Coaching for supervisors
• Expressing concerns in an appropriate manner
• Dealing with personal fears in a professional
  manner
• Dealing with all the different personalities and
  issues on a TEAM

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For more information, contact

• Dr. Mac McCrory
• 405-996-8428
• mac.mccrory_at_cox.net