Working with Perpetrators of Domestic Violence

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Working with Perpetrators of Domestic Violence

• Richard M. Tolman, Ph.D.
• University of Michigan
• School of Social Work

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• Violence against women and girls continues
  unabated in every continent, country and culture.
  It takes a devastating toll on womens lives, on
  their families and on society as a whole.
• United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon

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"We light this candle in recognition, reflection,
memory, and honor of all battered women and
children, especially those who have been murdered
bytheir batterers."Light candle. "We invite
any reflections or dedications you wish to
share."
Opening from the Alternatives To Domestic
Aggression Program groups, Michigan, USA
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For men to research on the topic of violence is
demanding.it demands a personal and political
re-evaluation, a process of consciousness
raising. .In particular we need to be ready to
recognize the multiple ways in which men can
re-establish forms of power, dominance and
violence, even when working against violence.
Jeff Hearn, 1993. Researching Men and
Researching Mens Violences.
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TRENDS

• In 1977 EMERGE began to provide services for
  batterers
• Since then thousands of programs established
  services batterers

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NIMH Committee on Family Violence (1992)

• "acts that are physically and emotionally
  harmful or that carry the potential to cause
  physical harm...(and) may also include sexual
  coercion or assaults, physical intimidation,
  threats to kill or to harm, restraint of normal
  activities or freedom, and denial of access to
  resources."

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American Psychological Association (Koss et al.,
1994)

• "physical, visual, verbal, or sexual acts that
  are experienced by a woman or a girl as a threat,
  invasion, or assault and that have the effect of
  hurting her or degrading her and/or taking away
  her ability to control contact (intimate or
  otherwise) with another individual."

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DAIP Power Control Wheel

• from
• Domestic Abuse Intervention Project
• 206 West Fourth Street
• Duluth, Minnesota 55806
• See handout

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(No Transcript)
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TRENDS

• Courts mandate large numbers of batterers to
  receive treatment as a result of increased arrest
  and prosecution of batterers.
• Practitioners in many settings are identifying
  batterers and need strategies for effective
  intervention.

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Research on Batterer Intervention Programs (BIPs)

• BIPs have a modest but positive
• impact on ending violence, with some
• studies showing them to have a much
• larger impact on participants when
• compared to men not participating.

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Research, cont.

• BIPs seem to help the majority of men end
• their violence over a period of time.

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Effective Components

• It is not yet clear what BIP-specific components
  help create these changes.

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How to motivate?

• BIPs incorporating motivational enhancement
  components may help more men change.

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Typologies

• Typologies of men based on personality
• traits and variation among men based on
  racial/ethnic group membership do not appear to
  predict different outcomes.

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Coordinated Community Response

• Men who participate in BIPs that are part of
  coordinated responses with the criminal justice
  system achieve better outcomes.

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Individual Pathology

• Evidence of overrepresentation of personality
  disorders
• Diversity of diagnoses limits pathology as an
  explanation
• Many batterers without significant pathology

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Evidence of some relevant individual factors

• High need for power
• Poor verbal and communication skills
• Emotional constriction
• History of observing or being abused as a child
• Drug and alcohol abuse
• Intimacy anxieties

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Social Learning Theory

• Abusive behavior learned
• Modeling processes prominent
• External control factors
• reward
• punishment
• Self-regulatory mechanisms
• Self-punishment
• Attributions

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Psychodynamic

• Emphasize attachment relationships
• Troubled relationship with mother, as well as
  abusive father
• Results in intimacy problems, difficulties in
  affective regulation, interpretive systems which
  increase sensitivity to threats
• Post-traumatic symptoms

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Feminist Theories

• Emphasizes role of patriarchal social structure
  in shaping mens violent behavior
• Views violence as outgrowth of mens attempts to
  control
• Gender roles important factors in determining
  behavior

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Assumptions on Violence

• Violence is learned
• through direct experience (victimization)
• through observation
• Power and control are central
• Changing behavior is possible
• involves resocialization or relearning

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Group Programs

• 12-52 weeks
• Once/twice a week
• Psycho-educational
• Continuum of service contexts

• 5 to 15 men
• Open or closed groups
• Male and/or female group leaders

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Practice Models

• Practice with men who batter currently draws
  extensively upon several models
• Profeminist
• cognitive-behavioral
• Often combined with profeminist
• Stand alone anger management controversial
• Psychodynamic
• formulations which emphasize the role of early
  experiences of victimization and attachment
  problems of batterers are drawing increasing
  attention.
• Family systems
• Conjoint intervention controversial

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Practice Models-Cautions

• The use of conjoint family models with batterers
  remains controversial due to fears of safety for
  victims in conjoint sessions.
• Conjoint intervention may explicitly or
  implicitly suggest that victims share
  responsibility for the violence.

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Practice Models-Challenges

• Practitioners struggle with caring for their
  clients and ensuring their clients are held
  accountable for their abusive behavior.
• Need to actively establish and maintain
  collaborative relationships with other partners
  in coordinated community responses to effectively
  balance these responsibilities.

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Group Issues

• Level of structure
• Negative bonding
• Co-Leadership
• Voluntariness

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ABCs of Denial

• It happened in the heat of the moment
• I went insane
• Im justified in hitting her
• I didnt know better
• I lost control
• It was a mistake
• It came out of nowhere

• It was an accident
• I blew up
• I didnt control my temper
• She dissed me
• I went off the edge
• I fly off the handle
• It caught me off guard

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ABCs of Denial

• I was up all night
• My verbal turned to physical
• Thats just the way I am
• I ran out of Xanex
• I yelled before I knew what I was doing
• I just zipped

• It just came out
• She provoked me
• I have a quick temper
• Its a reflex
• I snapped
• I wasnt thinking straight

Domestic Violence Institute of Michigan
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Categories of Denial

• Minimization
• Discounting the effects of an assault or abusive
  behavior
• Denial
• Stating or indicating that what happened didnt
  happen
• Blame
• Shifting responsibility for an abusive behavior
  onto something or someone else
• from Pence and Paymar (1993), pg. 126

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Minimization

• I hardly touched her
• She bruises easily
• I havent hit her in months, and she still acts
  like Im going to hit her
• All I did was throw something, not even at her
• I wouldnt really hurt her
• from Pence and Paymar (1993), pg. 127

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Denial

• I was trying to grab her and she fell
• I was acting in self-defense
• The court only listened to her side

from Pence and Paymar (1993), pg. 127
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Blame

• I was drunk
• She just wouldnt stop
• She knows what will happen when she acts that
  way
• Her mother was always trying to cause trouble
  between us
• The shelter talked her into getting a protection
  order
• from Pence and Paymar (1993), pg. 127

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Neutralizing Self-Statments

• Moral justification
• Palliative comparison
• Displacement of responsibility
• Dehumanizing the victim
• Attribution of blame to victim
• Minimization/selective memory

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Confrontation Techniques

• I am really worried about you
• Noting feelings, affect
• Power paradox-She really is in control of you
• for externalizing
• Where does that power come from
• for justification
• Emphasize costs

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Confrontation Techniques

• Questioning
• for confusion, minimization
• Emphasizing elements of control
• for I just lost it
• That makes you really dangerous
• What would it mean if it were true
• for not remembering, or saying partner is lying

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Engagement

• Hate the behavior, care about the person
• Task is to make participation voluntary
• Invitations to accountability
• Finding self-interest, part that doesnt like the
  behavior or its consequences
• Set limits without being punitive
• Care without colluding

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Increasing engagement

• Consider stages of change
• Keep confrontation respectful and non-hostile
• Increase court follow-through
• Focus on childhood experiences and fatherhood
• Develop competence engaging abusers from diverse
  backgrounds

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Altering Awareness

• Awareness of cues
• Physical
• Situational
• Emotional
• Cognitive
• Mental imagery
• Plan alternative actions

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Cues to Violence

• Situations
• holidays
• late at night
• Emotions
• frustrated
• fearful
• Physical changes
• sweating
• stomach in knots

• Red flag words
• Words prior to escalation
• Negative self-talk
• I hate this crap
• Ill show her
• See handout

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Safety Plans

• Awareness of high-risk situation
• Inform partner
• Set time limit
• Reduce arousal
• Think and plan
• Reach out if necessary
• Return, ready to leave again if necessary

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Managing Arousal

• Relaxation
• Positive self-talk
• Staying seated
• Moving further away
• Sitting on the floor
• Alternative activity
• Emphasize responsibility and choice

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Emotional Awareness

• Anger as a secondary emotion
• Teach full-range of emotions
• Teach responsibility for ones emotions and
  reactions
• Most critical from attachment perspective

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Cognitive Restructuring

• Work to change
• Belief in entitlement to control
• Attributions to temper
• Externalizations of blame
• Abusive relationship beliefs
• Systematic cognitive distortions
• Replace with positive self-guiding self-statements

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Respectful Beliefs

• Connected but different
• she has a right to her own opinions differences
  not disloyalty
• Equal
• Im better in some areas than she and she is in
  others sharing is better
• Reciprocal
• Sometimes her needs come before mine we respect
  each others wishes

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Respectful Beliefs

• Concerned about Consequences
• I am responsible for my actions my actions have
  effects impact on her must be considered
• Collaborative
• It is better to make decisions together we do
  things for each other
• Mutual
• I am as responsible for this relationship as my
  partner I need to understand my partner

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Skills

• Assertiveness
• Conflict resolution
• Communication

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Case example-termination in an open domestic
violence perpetrator group

• At 40 weeks, begin completion form
• At 50 weeks, make a list of ten reasons you are
  ready to leave
• At 52, Sankofa presentation
• Ghana origins
• Based on mythical bird that flies forward with
  its head turned backward.
• Reflects belief that the past serves as a guide
  for planning the future, or the wisdom in
  learning from the past in building the future

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40 week form

• Actions I will take if reabuse
• Return to program
• Call police and report assault
• Call group members
• Move out
• Respect and follow her wishes
• Pay for her housing and child care and other
  needs
• Have no contact if she wishes

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40 week form continued

• Clues that would indicate I am choosing to batter
• Being defensive
• Not discussing important issues
• Isolating myself or her
• Hanging out with others who batter or encourage
  battering
• Expecting forgiveness, approval and
  acknowledgement for not battering

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10 signs I need to return

• Lying
• Degrading her
• Being angry all the time
• Giving up talking//Im right
• Losing temper
• Throwing things
• Feeling like I want to fight

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40 week form, cont.

• What social support do I need
• Self-help groups
• Sponsor
• Phone calls
• AA

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40 weeks, cont.

• 10 examples of abuse,
• at what point would you return?

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Berrys abuse hierarchy

• Strike
• Chase and yell
• Disable vehicle
• Threaten physical harm by psychological terror
• Threaten about financial support
• Use kids to terrorize partner threat of taking
  custody
• Restrict outings (by being too busy)
• Close financial accounts
• Belittle, say hurtful things
• Embarrass her by his behavior

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Barrys 10 reasons he was ready

• Come to understand controlling is a conscious
  decision
• I know forms of power and control
• I am reflective/ I catch myself at power and
  control tactics
• I have higher values
• I control my responses to events
• I have personal accountability
• I am aware of my clue
• I am more respectful of other people
• I am not isolating partner
• I am more spiritual

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Sankofa Outline

• What I did that brought me to the program
• When I first got here, I described what brought
  me by saying
• Now I describe it like this
• I wish I came to ADA when I
• What I thought when I first came
• What I learned about myself in ada (core beliefs,
  tactics, behaviors)
• How I demonstrate accountability now
• Resources I have in my life to support my
  commitment
• What did I learn from mentoring experience
• If I could change one thing about ADA what would
  that be?
• Groups recommendations for me at the time I leave
• Any other information I have been asked to
  complete

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Social Change

• Bringing others to the group
• Becoming co-facilitators alumni
• Taking part in demonstrations or rallies
• Beware of celebrity
• Need to broaden social change efforts

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Conjoint Counseling

• When couple intervention?
• Man not violent for six months
• takes responsibility
• Woman feels safe
• Woman does not blame self
• Both choose

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Involving men as alliesGlobal Iin of VAW
There are promising strategies to engage men in
the prevention of violence against women.

• United Nations Secretary-Generals in-depth study
  on all forms of violence against women launched 9
  October 2006. 

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Mobilizing Men for Violence Prevention

• Rapid expansion of efforts to move beyond
  batterer intervention as central focus of mens
  efforts to end violence against women
• Global examples, inspirations
• Not much systematic data
• Envisioned research to document the scope and
  focus of global efforts
• Contribute to understanding what men actually do
  and the impact it has

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Recent international conference in Brazil

• http//www.engagingmen2009.org/24?localeen_US

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Reasons to Involve MenMen

• Many women want men to take a stand against
  violence.
• Most men do not agree with men's violence, yet do
  nothing to challenge or stop it - these men need
  to be mobilized to prevent violence.
• Some men are already working to prevent violence
  but lack support many more would like to get
  involved but don't know how.
• Men commit most of the violence- it is up to them
  to stop it
• Men are not born violent-they become violent as a
  result of beliefs and norms about what it means
  to be a man. Work with men and boys can change
  these beliefs and norms and support men in
  rejecting violence

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Reasons to Involve Men

• Men have the potential to stop violence. Not only
  can they choose to not perpetrate acts of
  violence, they can choose to challenge the
  attitudes and assumptions that support
  gender-based violence.
• Gender-based violence continues despite years of
  antiviolence work. The missing piece is effective
  violence prevention work with men.
• Men experience violence too-many are survivors
  but few get the support they need to heal from
  their experience.
• Men and boys listen to their peers-we need to
  mobilize men and boys to spread the violence
  prevention message in their families, workplaces,
  and communities.
• Decision makers and opinion leaders are mostly
  men-we need to work with them to get the
  political, financial, and moral support necessary
  to prevent gender-based violence.

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Reasons--From WHO

• Silent" majority of men who are against
  violence against women. Working with men as
  partners will help to identify these allies in
  the fight against this problem
• Increasing number of men who are explicitly and
  working hard to end violence against women and
  promote gender equality
• The behaviours and values of men and boys affect
  the health and well-being of others (girls, boys,
  women and other men) in their lives
• Leaving men and boys out of efforts to end
  violence separates them from the solutions to
  violence, reaffirms gender norms around male
  violence and leaves the burden of addressing
  violence squarely on women's shoulders
• Addressing and challenging male violence with
  multiple partners - including men who use
  violence and those that oppose it - can help to
  better delineate the root causes of male violence
  
• Working with men on this problem is an important
  strategy to address the effects of violence on
  families. It has an important positive effect on
  families and childrens health through their role
  as fathers, partners and heads of household

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What are goals

• Berkowits (2004) proposed this typology

• Dont commit violence (prevention)
• White Ribbon
• Rwandan Mens Center
• Intervening in the violence of other men
• White Ribbon
• Call to Men
• Addressing root causes
• Call to Men
• Coaching boys into men

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White Ribbon Campaign

• Global campaign started in Canada after Montreal
  massacre

   Daughters http//www.youtube.com/watch?vQcCeL
xGe8UE
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Because I love herPledge Campaign in Singapore
http//www.facebook.com/pages/Because-I-Love-Her/1
50386035006007
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Example Pledge Statement- Rwanda

• The Stand and The Pledge - I understand
• That what I do and say can either encourage or
  discourage stereotypes that can lead to gender
  based violence.
• That gender based violence can happen to anyone.
• That men and women are victims of gender based
  violence.
• That gender based violence can be prevented.
• That the overwhelming number of sexual offenders
  is men.
• That real men don't use their power to rape.
• That men must play a critical role in breaking
  the cycle of gender based violence.
• So, I promise to take a stand and never commit,
  condone, accept, or stay silent about gender
  based violence.
• To challenge other men to recognize that they can
  be powerful without making others powerless.
• To encourage all men to work together with women,
  using their collective voices and resources to
  END gender based violence in Rwanda.

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South America - White Ribbon

• Many programs globally focusing on reaching boys

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Coaching Boys into Men

• Family Violence Prevention Fund
• http//endabuse.org/section/programs/public_commun
  ications/_coaching_boys
• http//endabuse.org/userfiles/file/PublicCommunica
  tions/Father-and-Son-30-640x480.rm

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• Men Can Stop Rape mobilizes male youth to prevent
  men's violence against women. We build young
  men's capacity to challenge harmful aspects of
  traditional masculinity, to value alternative
  visions of male strength, and to embrace their
  vital role as allies with women and girls in
  fostering healthy relationships and gender
  equity.

http//www.mencanstoprape.org/
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Kenyan Campaign

• One of these is your wife, mother, sister,
  grandmother, daughter or friend.
• Men Lets Do Something About This
• Men Working to End Gender- Based Violence,
  FEMNET, Kenya.

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U.S. National effort
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New mobilizing men projecthttp//www.mincava.umn.
edu/mmvp/
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Issues in mobilizing men

• Loss of focus
• What does it mean to organize against your self
  interest?
• Accountability issues
• involvement of men who will do damage
• Overlapping, contradictory, competing efforts
• E.g. scheduling of four related conferences
  within weeks
• Sign of robustness or competing purposes?
• Professionalization or grass-roots
• qui bono?
• Who leads?
• Evidence of effectiveness? Much effort, what
  results?
• Overemphasis on individual not structural
  solutions

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ADA closing ritual

• Leader reads
• I will create opportunities for healing and
  restoration because this continues to solidify my
  commitment to life without violence and
  misogynist beliefs and offers hope for the future
  as I develop the capacity for enduring
  relationships based on respect, accountability,
  honest, trust and partnership.
• The group HOLDS HANDS and the group leader reads
• We observe 12 seconds of silence in recognition
  of our mothers, our sisters, our daughters, our
  wives, our partners, our friends who are severely
  battered every day.
• 12 seconds
• Blow out candle
• Accountability pledge I commit all my efforts
  to seek acccountability in my thinking and
  actions, and to provide safety and respect to
  everyone in my life.