A friend to the brokenhearted

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A friend to the broken-hearted

• Lessons from Job

What should you do when someone suffers a great
loss?
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Job was in desperate pain
All of his children killed. Most of his household
killed or abducted his wealth destroyed or
stolen. His relationships social standing
ruined.
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I look for someone to come and help me, but no
one gives me a passing thought! No one will help
me no one cares a bit what happens to me.
Psalm 1424
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Job was in desperate pain
All of his children killed. Most of his household
killed or abducted his wealth destroyed or
stolen. His relationships social standing
ruined. His health failing. Months had passed
with no change. And then...
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When three of Jobs friends heard of the tragedy
he had suffered, they got together and traveled
from their homes to comfort and console him.
Their names were Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the
Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. Job 211
Banding together for Jobs sake.
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A Friend to the Broken-hearted.

• Band together with others

Remember the prisoners, as though in prison with
them, and those who are ill-treated, since you
yourselves also are in the body.
Hebrews 133
If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with
it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are
glad. 27All of you together are Christs body,
and each of you is a part of it. 1 Corinthians
1226-27
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When three of Jobs friends heard of the tragedy
he had suffered, they got together and traveled
from their homes to comfort and console him.
Their names were Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the
Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. Job 211
They sacrificed
Their sacrifice was greater than they expected,
but they paid it as they went along until the
very end.
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A Friend to the Broken-hearted.

• Band together with others
• Count and pay the cost

Share each others burdens, and in this way obey
the law of Christ. 3If you think you are too
important to help someone, you are only fooling
yourself. You are not that important.
Galatians 62-3
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When three of Jobs friends heard of the tragedy
he had suffered, they got together and traveled
from their homes to comfort and console him.
Their names were Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the
Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. Job 211
sympathize, mourn to move with...
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A Friend to the Broken-hearted.

• Band together with others
• Count and pay the cost
• Move with them (sympathize)

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12When they saw Job from a distance, they
scarcely recognized him. Wailing loudly, they
tore their robes and threw dust into the air over
their heads to show their grief. 13Then they sat
on the ground with him for seven days and nights.
No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his
suffering was too great for words. Job 212-13
Support is not about answers it is about
empathy, comfort, healing and helping toward God.
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A Friend to the Broken-hearted.

• Band together with others
• Count and pay the cost
• Move with them (sympathize)

Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with
those who weep. Romans 1215
Have I not wept for the one whose life is hard?
Was not my soul grieved for the needy?
Job 3025
He who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes
the fear of the Almighty.
Job 614
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Moralizing is a poor substitute

• This is Gods will
• I know how you feel
• Gods gonna do a lot through this
• Time will heal
• You need to be strong for ______
• Life goes on

• Count your blessings
• All things work...for good
• Youre young...
• At least you have your memories
• God needs them more than you do
• God wont give more than you can handle

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A Friend to the Broken-hearted.

• Band together with others
• Count and pay the cost
• Move with them (sympathize)
• watch listen

Listen closely to what I am saying. Thats one
consolation you can give me.
Job 212
19...everyone must be quick to hear, slow to
speak and slow to anger 20for the anger of man
does not achieve the righteousness of God.
James 119-20
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A Friend to the Broken-hearted.

• Band together with others
• Count and pay the cost
• Move with them (sympathize)
• watch listen
• be available
• be sensitive
• be inclusive
• be patient

Learn about grief
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Grieving
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Grieving

• acute pain
• dull pain
• healing finding a new normal

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When three of Jobs friends heard of the tragedy
he had suffered, they got together and traveled
from their homes to comfort and console him.
Their names were Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the
Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. Job 211
help see a good future to nudge toward hope
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A Friend to the Broken-hearted.

• Band together with others
• Count and pay the cost
• Move with them (sympathize)
• Nudge toward hope (encourage)
• This is where everything went wrong.

Why?
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1At last Job spoke, and he cursed the day of his
birth. 2He said 3Let the day of my birth be
erased, and the night I was conceived...11Why
wasnt I born dead?... 23Why is life given to
those with no future, those God has surrounded
with difficulties? 25What I always feared has
happened to me. What I dreaded has come true. 26I
have no peace, no quietness. I have no rest only
trouble comes. from Job 3
You...have given no help. You have seen my
calamity, and you are afraid. Job 621
Then Eliphaz...replied to Job 2Will you be
patient and let me say a word? For who could keep
from speaking out?
Job 41-2
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A Friend to the Broken-hearted.

• Band together with others
• Count and pay the cost
• Move with them (sympathize)
• Nudge toward hope (encourage)
• Jobs hopelessness made them afraid
• fearful for Job
• fearful for themselves

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2You people really know everything, dont you?
And when you die, wisdom will die with you!
3Well, I know a few things myself - youre no
better than I am. Who doesnt know these things
youve been saying?
Job - Job 122-3
A wise man wouldnt answer with such empty talk!
You are nothing but a windbag...Do you have a
monopoly on wisdom? 9What do you know that we
dont? What do you understand that we do not?
10On our side are aged, gray-haired men much
older than your father! Eliphaz - Job
152,8-10
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A Friend to the Broken-hearted.

• Band together with others
• Count and pay the cost
• Move with them (sympathize)
• Nudge toward hope (encourage)
• Jobs hopelessness made them afraid
• Jobs reactions offended them.

...if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who
are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of
gentleness each one looking to yourself, so that
you too will not be tempted. Galatians 61
We see, in their reactions, the biggest danger in
suffering ? IDOLATRY
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A Friend to the Broken-hearted.

• Band together with others
• Count and pay the cost
• Move with them (sympathize)
• Nudge toward hope (encourage)
• Idolatry is the greatest danger
• Ongoing repentance is needed
• Helping them out of bondage takes the Spirit,
  truth wisdom.

...overcoming grief involves getting free from
bondage to the loss readjusting to life without
and building anew. Success depends on how well
the sufferer engages rather than avoids the pain
distress they feel. Arthur Freese, Help
for your grief
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A Friend to the Broken-hearted.

• Band together with others
• Count and pay the cost
• Move with them (sympathize)
• Nudge toward hope (encourage)
• Idolatry is the greatest danger
• God is the greatest need

Though he slay me, I will hope in him yet I will
argue my ways to his face. Job 1315
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A Friend to the Broken-hearted.

• Band together with others
• Count and pay the cost
• Move with them (sympathize)
• Nudge toward hope (encourage)
• Idolatry is the greatest danger
• God is the greatest need

Especially important is regular reflection on the
gospel of Jesus.
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A Friend to the Broken-hearted.

• Band together with others
• Count and pay the cost
• Move with them (sympathize)
• Nudge toward hope (encourage)
• Idolatry is the greatest danger
• God is the greatest need
• Gods glory is the greatest result

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10As each has received a gift, use it to serve
one another, as good stewards of God's varied
grace 11the one who speaks, as one who speaks
oracles of God the one who serves, as one who
serves by the strength that God supplies - in
order that in everything God may be glorified
through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and
dominion forever and ever.
1 Peter 4
Love giving and the love supply bring attention
to God.
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A Friend to the Broken-hearted.

• Band together with others
• Count and pay the cost
• Move with them (sympathize)
• Nudge toward hope (encourage)