Men are from MARS, Women are from VENUS.

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Men are from MARS, Women are from VENUS.

• Mia Palma
• Palmam1_at_mail.montclair.edu
• Jennifer Lewin
• lewinj3_at_mail.montclair.edu
• Mike Lee
• leem11_at_mail.montclair.edu

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Introduction Book Summary/Thesis

• Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John
  Gray
• It is essential to learn new and healthy ways
  of relating and communicating (Gray, 1992).
• This book focused on the differences in
  communication styles between men and women.
• Offers suggestions to understanding how members
  of the opposite sex communicate.
• Gray explains that couples can improve the
  quality of their relationship if when they can
  better understand how their partners communicate.
• Gender insight helps us to be more tolerant and
  forgiving when someone doesnt respond the way we
  think he or she should (Gray, 1992)
• That other variables, other than gender play a
  larger role in defining gender differences
  (Sprecher Toro-Mor, 2002)
• Gender differences vary from culture to culture
  (Sprecher
  Toro-Mor, 2002)

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Data from the Book

• Gray (1992) makes wide swiping generalization
  about all men and all women throughout his
  book.
• Based upon his personal experiences and 7 years
  of research (Gray, 1992)
• Gray (1992) states that his theories and
  principals were tested and tried but does not
  say how
• At least 90 (Gray,1992) of the more than
  25,000 individuals who attended his lectures
  recognized themselves and their partners in his
  theories
• Data is anecdotal Descriptive stories of men
  and women and the different ways in which they
  communicate within their heterosexual
  relationships

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John Gray says

• Gray (1992) concludes that men and women
• Are naturally different
• Communicate in completely different ways
• Use language differently
• Constantly misunderstand each other
• This leads to conflict, break ups and ultimately
  divorce.
• (Source John Grays Men are from Mars, Women are
  from Venus, 1992)

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The Hard Data

• Gray (1992) does not -
• Disclose how he conducted his questioning of
  more than 25,000 individuals
• Provide data from a national representative
  sample
• Go in to what makes men and women so different
  but hints to it being linked to biology
• Claim that his data is scholarly or national
  representative

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Men Women??

• Gender differences in communication are often
  oversimplified and tend to vary from subculture
  to subculture (Cameron, 2007)
• Men and women respond and communicate more
  similar than different (MacGeorge, et. al.,
  2004).
• Men and women are different but share the
  similarity of needing yearning for something.
• Example Men Women under Stress.

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Men Under Stress.

• Men- retreating into their cave
• When a man is stressed, he will withdraw into the
  cave of his mind and focus on solving a problem
  (Gray, 1992)
• If he cant find a solution then he does
  something to forget his problems, like reading
  the news or playing a game (Gray, 1992)
• When he has found a solution, he feels much
  better and comes out of his cave (Gray, 1992).

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Women Under Stress

• When a woman becomes upset or is stressed by her
  day- to find relief, she seeks out someone she
  trusts and then talks in great detail about the
  problems of her day. When they finish sharing
  the feelings of being overwhelmed, she suddenly
  feels better.
• - Like a big wave and then she crashes and calms
  down (Gray, 1992)

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Demand-Withdrawl Behavior Problem

• -Women demand attention
• -Men withdraw to cave
• Recently, demand-withdraw behaviors during
  conflict resolution among heterosexual couples
  have become a topic of particular interest due to
  many factors which include the high frequency of
  demand-withdraw behavior observed in distressed
  couples, the link between demand-withdraw
  behavior and declines in satisfaction of
  relationship and the link between demand-withdraw
  behavior and spousal abuse (Cayem, Stierwalt,
  Sprawls, McIlroy, 2008).

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On the Contrary

• Men, when dealing with a problem, will talk to an
  older person or elder (big brother, pastor,
  father) for guidance advice.
• Women, when dealing with a problem will seek to
  comforting activities to forget about her
  troubles
• Shopping
• Pedicure/maniciure
• Buying jewelry
• Cleaning
• Source http//www.askmarsvenus.com/dr-john-gray.p
  hp http//www.guardian.co.uk/world/2007/oct/01/g
  ender.books

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Look at the chart and see how men and women are
very similar/different in many areas.
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Quality of Data

• The researchers (MacGeorge, et. al, 2004)
  received an Distinguished Publication Award for
  their work
• Data was published in a scholarly journal
• Relatively small sample size
• Data was based upon a regional sample but with a
  wide range of individuals from different
  ethnicitys / SES and ages
• The racial makeup of the participants were
  national representative
• A remake of an earlier study.

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The Results are in!

• The data we found -
• Refutes MOST of Grays statements
• Points to that men and women are more alike then
  different
• The differences in the way men and women
  communicate / use language are not that
  different.
• The author is trained to write a self-help book
  but he needs to be more open-minded and
  considerate of the different cultures and
  relationships that surround our societal norm.

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Discussion Conclusion

• John Gray has a large number of followers
• He claims to have saved countless marriages
• Some good points
• However
• The book is patronizing towards both men and
  women
• Perpetuates the myth of natural gender
  differences

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Discussion Conclusion

• Some research supports Grays ideas.
• Women tend to experience higher levels of stress
  after a stressful event.
• Men tend not to show their emotions after a
  stressful event.
• Most of our findings go against Grays ideas.
• The ways in they communicate, such as their use
  of language, tend to be more similar than
  different between men and women.

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Future Research

• We found both information that went along with
  Grays findings and against it.
• One thing that I would suggest to change in
  future research on this topic would be sample
  size.
• Most research was done through small sample sizes
• Using larger samples would result in a more
  accurate result.

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References

• Cameron, D. (2008). The Myth of Mars and Venus
  Do men and women really speak different
  languages? USA Oxford University Press.
• Cayem,D., Stierwalt, J., Sprawls, J., McIIroy,
  J. (2008). Male Communication in a Heterosexual
  Dating Relationship. Psychology of men,
  29,110-116.
• Gray, J. (1992). Men are from Mars, Women are
  from Venus. New York, NY HarperCollin.
• MacGeorge, E., Graves, A., Feng, B., Gillihan,
  J., Burleson, B. (2004). The myth of gender
  cultures Similarities outweigh differences in
  mens and womens provision of and responses to
  supportive communication. Sex Roles, 50, 143-175.
  
• Sprecher, S., Toro-Mor, M. (2002). A study of
  men and women from different sides of earth to
  determine if men are from Mars and women are from
  Venus in their beliefs about love and romantic
  relationships. Sex Roles, 46, 131-147.

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Youtube Video

• http//www.youtube.com/watch?vry7lRjuKXvkfeature
  relmfu

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Exam Question 1

• According to John Grays book Men Are From Mars
  Women Are From Venus, which best represents the
  way women communicate?
• Women tend to keep their feelings hidden.
• Women pull away and retreat to their cave.
• Women seek support and confide in someone else to
  share their feelings with.
• Women tend to ignore their problems and find
  something to do to keep their minds busy.
• Answer - C

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Exam Question 2

• 1. Which of the following statements do NOT
  represent the ideas from the book Men are from
  Mars, Women are from Venus?
• A. Men and women are fundamentally different in
  almost every way
• B. Men and women have no problems communicating
  with each other
• C. Women and Men come from different planets
• D. Men and women speak different languages
• Answer is - B

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Exam Question 3-

• Based on the demand-withdraw behavior pattern
• A. Men are more open to showing their feelings
  and venting to their significant other.
• B. Women are more withdrawn and will refocus
  their problems onto something else that will
  distract them.
• C. Men and Women both are able to talk about
  their problems only after sex.
• D. Men are more prone to watch a game to get his
  mind off of his problems while women are more
  prone to talk in detail until she has everything
  out in the open.
• Answer is D